Author's Note: I'm doing my best to update more quickly now for all of you! This is so much longer then I thought it would be..
Heartland:
Chapter 17: Lost and Found
Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis
The times change, and we change with them.
-John Owen
Juliet was silent as she sat beside Sawyer on the plane. She'd finally resolved to let him hold onto Rachel now and she closed her eyes. Jack was right in front of them, but he was keeping to himself so far the entire plane ride. She took a deep breath. It wasn't going back and going home that made her so nervous. It was all the people that had been missing them all these years that they've been gone. After seven years would Rachel really be ready to know she's alive?
"You okay?" Sawyer whispered, holding tightly onto the sleeping infant.
Juliet glanced at him and smiled faintly. "Just a little worried.." she answered him honestly.
Sawyer smiled a little, even though he wouldn't admit he was also worried. He leaned over and gave her a comforting kiss on her temple, and watched as she leaned her head down on his shoulder. As strange as this was for him, to love and be loved, he would never regret it, no matter what. He especially didn't regret it when he looked down at the beautiful little girl in his arms.
He only bothered to look up when he noticed Jack move, sitting down in the empty seat across from them. It had been a few minutes and he noticed Juliet was fast asleep on his shoulder. "Let me guess, Doc.. we're almost there."
Jack could only nod.
"I guess bucklin' up ain't really a necessity?" Sawyer wondered out loud.
Jack chuckled, but shook his head. "Not gonna do any good."
"Just checkin'.." Sawyer stated, then glanced down at Juliet again.
Jack sighed. "You might wanna wake her up.." he told him. "Otherwise when she wakes up, it might be a little shocking."
Sawyer frowned but he didn't respond as he clutched the diaper bag under his feet, Juliet answered it for him.
"I'm not asleep," she muttered under her breath.
Sawyer chuckled this time and shook his head at her words. "Oh boy.." he muttered now.
With that, Juliet opened her eyes, glancing up at the white light. "Wonderful.."
Jack didn't bother to say anything. He just held onto the bag he'd brought with him.
~*~*~*~
"JACK!"
Jack sat up, shaking his head. He glanced up and looked over at Kate who ran towards him. "Kate.."
Kate knelt down beside him. "You alright?"
"Yeah," Jack answered, shaking it off. That flash always seemed to leave him with a funny feeling.
"They didn't come back with you?" Kate questioned, the sadness clearly lingering behind her words.
Jack shook his head. "No they did," he told her, glancing around. "We didn't all land right next to each other either, remember?"
Kate breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's find them."
"I'll give Daniel the go-ahead. They should be right around here," Jack told her, opening up the bag he'd held onto and pulling out a radio. "Daniel, come in.."
"Welcome back, Jack."
Jack chuckled. "You're all clear. You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"See you on the other side, Dan," Jack told him, thankful to finally be going to their own time.
"You too."
Jack stood up with Kate and they both glanced around. "They shouldn't be too far off, we can probably find them before the flash.."
Kate nodded. "I'll head left, you head right, if the flash hits first, meet at the beach?"
Jack sighed, but nodded. "Alright."
~*~*~*~
Sawyer frowned as he opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that Rachel was not thrilled, the next, he didn't see Juliet or Jack, and lastly, he was cushioned by a bush underneath of him. He rolled his eyes and managed to get out of it as he rocked the infant in his arms and calmed her. After a second he began wandering around, diaper bag hanging over his shoulder. "Juliet?!"
No response. But maybe she simply hadn't woken up yet.
After about ten minutes of searching around the area he was in, and not seeing Jack or Juliet, he was getting the senseless urge to kick something. "Juliet!!" he called out again, not bothering calling for Jack. He could honestly care less where the doctor had conked out at, it was his fault they were back in the first place.
"Sawyer?!"
Sawyer glanced behind him, watching Kate run towards him. "Jeez, Freckles, where'd you come from?" he questioned.
Kate smiled a little at the nickname. "About half a mile east of here, I heard you yelling for Juliet.."
"You seen her?" he asked. It was the only thing on his mind at the moment. He hadn't been able to find her.
Kate frowned and shook her head. "No.. not yet, but Jack went East, he probably found her. You don't fall very far away from each other," she explained, as though it were something people did daily. Disappear off planes. She finally took the time to notice the infant in Sawyer's arms and let her eyes light up. "Oh wow.."
Sawyer glanced down at Rachel and chuckled. "Looks just like her, eh?"
Kate smiled up at him. "Oh come on, she looks like you too."
Sawyer smirked.
"What's her name?" Kate questioned as they walked.
"Rachel," he answered easily, wiggling the little girl in his arms who was simply making strange cooing noises in response. He chuckled down at her.
Kate smiled a little. She remembered that name, and understood how the little girl got her name. "After Juliet's sister?"
Sawyer blinked, and turned to look at Kate. "How'd you know her sister's name?"
"She told me," Kate answered with a shrug. "When you guys first came back to the beach. After the smoke monster.."
Sawyer didn't have a response to that.
Both of them frowned and looked up at the light that came over them. "Son of a.."
~*~*~*~
"Oh no.."
"What?"
"Look.."
Juliet coughed and sputtered, spitting water from her mouth as she sat up, drenched from where the waves on the beach were washing over her, and feeling something weird on her cheek.
"Well don't just stand there, let's help her.."
Juliet blinked, getting to her hands and knees and looking up. The voices sounded oddly familiar, but the first thing she noticed when she turned her head was Vincent. He'd been licking her face. She made a face, not quite sure if she was glad he woke her, or disgusted that he'd just slobbered all over her face.
"You okay sweetie?"
Juliet turned her head to see none other then Rose squatting down in front of her. "Rose?" she questioned, before coughing up more water that she'd choked down while laying there.
Rose frowned, putting her hand on the younger woman's back and patting it gently. "Get it all out dear."
"Is she okay?"
Juliet glanced up, even more surprised when she noticed Bernard standing behind Rose and looking down at her. She finished the last bout of coughing fits and frowned. "How are you.." she started, but didn't finish the question.
Rose smiled. "That can wait.. what happened to you?"
Juliet frowned now. She immediately glanced up and didn't bother to answer Rose's question as she stood quickly, glancing around the area. "James?!"
Rose glanced back at Bernard.
Bernard just shrugged.
"Have you seen Sawyer?" she asked immediately, looking at the two of them.
Rose narrowed her eyes in confusion. "No, just found you when we were coming to get Vincent.." she told her. She already noted the look of worry and distress on the young woman's face. "Why, what's going on?"
Juliet was about to head off the beach when Bernard stopped her. "I need to find them.."
"Them?" Bernard questioned.
Even Rose was curious from the way Juliet stated it.
Juliet frowned. It dawned on her that Bernard and Rose were pretty out of the loop. "James.. and our daughter."
Rose glanced at Bernard now.
"Retirement?" Bernard questioned his wife.
Rose sighed. "This is a different circumstance.."
Bernard smiled a little.
Rose came up behind Juliet and put a hand on her shoulder. "We'll help you find them.." she told her.
Juliet's eyes softened in response. They were all about to start walking when they saw the white light.
"Not again.." Rose stated, frowning.
Juliet could only hope now that Jack hadn't lied to her. That Rachel would be alright through this.
()()FLASHBACK()()
Two years and ten months. It was a day Sawyer was postive he'd never forget because usually neither of them opened up about their childhood. He didn't bother, even though he knew already that Juliet was fairly familiar with his. He never asked about hers, just as she didn't ask him how he felt about his. But sometime during their conversation about ridiculous things they've done back in the real world, her eyes had clouded over, and she'd simply blurted out about her parents getting divorced when she was ten.
Juliet was silent now, glancing down at her feet and fiddling with her fingers. But after a moment she decided to speak again. "Do you ever.." but she stopped herself from asking the question.
"What?" Sawyer questioned. "Do I ever what?"
"Nevermind.." Juliet stated.
Sawyer frowned, glancing at her hands as she continued twiddling her thumbs. "Go ahead and ask.." he finally told her.
Juliet glanced over at him. "Sometimes I think it's best that I never had kids.."
Sawyer blinked. "Why?" he questioned, now thoroughly curious.
"I wouldn't be very good at it," she answered with a shrug.
Sawyer frowned. It wasn't often he heard a woman say she was happy to have never had a child. "So.. you're glad you never got to be a mom?"
Juliet glanced away.
That answered his question. She wasn't really glad. Her face was full of regret, not relief.
"I only said it was better that I didn't.. not that I was glad I didn't," she finally stated.
Sawyer sighed, leaning back on the couch. He could understand her concept. "I don't think I would.. am.. a good dad."
Juliet blinked, staring at him. "Am?"
Sawyer glanced at her now. She seemed honestly surprised by the statement. Apparently Clementine wasn't in his file. "Never even met my own daughter, some nurturing parent I am, eh?"
Juliet's eyes softened a little. "You regret it?"
"If you asked me that three years ago, I would of told you no," he admitted. "Just that I felt bad she got stuck with me as her daddy."
"And now?" Juliet questioned.
Sawyer sighed, closing his eyes now. "Yeah.." he told her. "Yeah I regret not ever meetin' her, holdin' her, and bein' able to take care of her like a father should."
Juliet said nothing in response.
It was a few moments of silence when Sawyer finally spoke up. "Amy got you thinkin' about babies?"
Juliet smiled faintly. "Sometimes it's hard to talk to her.. because I remember all the women I lost on this island because they got pregnant," she admitted thoughtfully. "But other times I resent her.. because she's doing something I can't."
Sawyer blinked. "Can't?"
Juliet glanced over at him. It took only a second for her to catch the meaning of what she'd said. "Not can't.. can't.." she said quickly. "Just that it's a little late in the game of life to start."
Sawyer smirked. "Oh come on. I heard a sixty-year-old had a kid. If she can do it.."
"Oh god.." Juliet said, rubbing her eyes from the sudden vision. It made her laugh of course, he always managed to do that to her when the conversation was completely serious. "That's horrifying.. she should be a grandmother by then.."
Sawyer grinned. "She was."
Juliet coughed out her next laugh. "You're making that up."
"I am not."
Juliet stared at him. "Well.. I for one do not plan to be producing children at the age of sixty. I'm already.."
"Seven," Sawyer said with a laugh, unable to help it.
Juliet looked shell-shocked at the statement and smacked him with a laugh. "And you tell me I'm the wise-ass."
Sawyer just grinned at her. He was right, when he told her in the first two weeks that she was one-of-a-kind. "You wouldn't be a bad mom, you know that right?"
Juliet's laughter dissipated as she looked away. She didn't bother to reply to it, but she did stand and kiss him on the cheek. She was walking down the hall when she stopped suddenly and turned around. "Just for the record, James.."
Sawyer waited for what she would say.
"Given the chance.. I think you could make-up for not being there, and be a pretty great father.."
That was why he loved her. Because she believed in him even when he couldn't believe in himself.
()()END FB()()
It was later on that night, when they all met up on the beach that Sawyer wanted to kill Jack for telling them to come back, for convincing Juliet they had to go back. For hours he and Kate had wandered the jungle and found no trace of Juliet anywhere, stopping on occasion to feed or change the infant in his arms. But they had definitely made it back to 2008, as he noticed the ruins of their old camp now fallen apart.
"Dude!" Hurley called out, heading to Sawyer and Kate. "Whoa, look at her!" Hurley said with a laugh, looking at the baby. "She looks just like.." he stopped, looking around. "Where's Juliet?"
Kate frowned, but she didn't say anything even as Jack came over to them.
Sawyer put the little girl in Hurley's arms, who now looked semi-shocked and semi-flustered, yet still excited about the little girl he was now holding.
Kate could already see this going downhill.
"Where the hell is she?!" Sawyer shouted, grabbing Jack by the collar of his shirt. "I swear to God, Jack.. if we don't find her..."
Kate pulled Sawyer off of Jack. "Sawyer.. Sawyer stop, we're gonna find her.."
"This is his fault, damn it!" Sawyer yelled, pulling his arm from Kate's grasp and turning back to Jack. "You convinced Juliet to do this.. and now she's gone!"
Jin frowned. He walked up to Sawyer and put a hand on his shoulder. "We will look together.. for Juliet," he told him. "And for Sun.."
Sawyer glanced at Jin. Over a few years, Jin and Miles had become pretty good friends to him. He nodded, even as Hurley handed the little girl back to him that had begun crying and flailing from all the yelling. "Shhh.." he said quietly, wandering away from the group for a moment to calm her, ignoring the fact that all of them were now staring at him. "I know kiddo.. you're worried about her too."
Kate's eyes softened as she watched and listened. This was just proof of how much Sawyer had changed over the years. And she knew the person who helped make that change, and right now she was missing somewhere out in that jungle. "Let's go find her.. together."
~*~*~*~
Juliet looked around at where they were. Bernard, Rose and Vincent right next to her.
"That was.."
Juliet nodded silently in response to what Bernard was going to say.
"So you're telling me that we're doing this all over again?" Rose asked Juliet.
Juliet shook her head. "If Jack was right.. then that flash just brought us back to 2008.."
Rose stared at Juliet along with Bernard. She sighed, shaking her head. "We're gonna help you find them, dear.." she told Juliet. "But after that.. we're going back to retirement."
"Retirement?" Juliet questioned, staring at them in confusion. She'd heard Bernard saying something about it earlier, but she hadn't asked about it.
Bernard smiled. "Everyone always wants to find a little place out in the world on the beach where they can be away from everyone, where they can be alone together" he told Juliet. "Me and Rose finally found that."
Juliet's eyes softened and she smiled a little in response to his statement.
"What matters now is that we love each other.. and that we're together, not where we're together at," he explained to her.
Juliet wrapped her arms around Bernard, then Rose. She even thought about giving Vincent a hug, but she decided against it. But doing so gave her a good view of the person standing up at the treeline watching them with a certain interest. She released her hold on Rose and glanced at the two of them. "It's alright," she told them, forcing a smile. "You two should go back to retirement.. I can find them on my own."
Rose stared at her incredulously. "Did all that sea water go to your head, Juliet?" she questioned, and noticed an icy expression cross Juliet's features that she hadn't seen in quite a few years. Something was wrong, and as she turned around, she understood exactly what.
Standing at the treeline watching them, was none other then Benjamin Linus.
()()END()()
Uh-oh..
