"Damn," Jay groans, "that makes this harder to say."

"What are you talking about?" Erin asks. That same feeling from the morning creeps its way up her spine. The same fear that something bad was coming, brewing inside her again. Her stomach flips as she waits for Jay to say something.

"Firstly, I appreciate that you respected my privacy and didn't go looking through my past. And secondly, I'm sorry … because I kind of went snooping through yours." Jay admits.

"You what?" she growls out, "Why the f-" she stops, closing her eyes and taking a breath. She was still his boss, still the Superintendent; there was a level of decorum to maintain, even if Erin had the intense urge to rip Jay a new one, "Why on earth would you feel the need to poke around in my private life?"

"Remember our meeting last week, how Voight and Lang agreed to look into people you might've crossed paths with on the job that might have a grudge against you? Well, it got me thinking about the possibility of a personal connection. Someone from your past who might hold a grudge."

Jay steps closer, pulling the file out from against the back of his shirt where it had been tucked against the waistband of his pants after he grabbed it from his car when they got back to the house. He sets it on the counter, sliding it toward her so she can see the photo of the man clipped to the front. Erin sucks in a sharp breath. It had been almost twenty years since she'd laid eyes on him, but Erin knew exactly whose face she was staring at.

"What's your point, Jay?"

"We've been saying there's something missing in this case, a piece of the puzzle that's stopping us from seeing the whole picture," Jay says, pointing to the picture, "and I have good reason to believe that Charlie Pugliese is that missing piece."


Erin's mind wandered as she sat on Charlotte's bed and helped her daughter change into her pyjamas. Charlotte was rambling about her day, telling Erin about the new friends she was making, the books she'd read this week, all the fun parts of her week that she was usually too tired to tell her mother by the time Erin got home; but Erin's mind was elsewhere, stuck in the past with Charlie Pugliese.

She's done her best to erase his existence from her mind. Of all the mistakes she has made in the thirty-two years of her life, Charlie is the one she regrets more than anything. She thought his stain on her life had faded away a long time ago, but maybe it would always be there; maybe he was one part of the past she would never be able to outrun.

"Mama, do you like Jay?" Charlotte's question pulls Erin out of her head, looking down at her daughter as she undoes the braid she put Charlotte's hair into this morning.

"Yeah, he's very good at his job and he's very kind to you, so I like him. Why do you ask, bear?" Erin asks as she pulls the braid apart, running her fingers through her daughter's hair to loosen the strands out.

"But do you like him? Like … like how you like daddy?" Erin's hands freeze in her daughter's hair, not expecting that question at all.

Erin gently extricates her hands from Charlotte's hair, tapping her daughter on the shoulder so she turns to face her.

"Why do you ask, bear?"

Charlotte shrugs, looking shy suddenly, "I just thought … maybe Jay could be part of our family."

Erin's heart breaks at her daughter's words. Charlotte's craving a fatherly figure in her life, not knowing how to cope with Kelly not being around; ad much as Erin has tried her best to be present in Charlie's life, she's not so angry at Kelly that she can't admit the huge role he took on in being the caretaker in Charlotte's life; he spent most of his time at home with Charlotte in her first few years of life because Erin had to work, and Kelly's gigs were at night, so the stay-at-home-dad routine worked better for them. For all his faults, once thing Erin would always praise Kelly for was his role as Charlotte's father, at least when they had been in New York; he'd done his best to be there for their daughter. Kelly's sudden withdrawal in Charlotte's life had left her confused, with all the other changes going on in her environment, it made sense that Charlotte would connect to Jay; he was a constant in her life now, and she needed that.

"I think …" Erin pauses, unsure how to start, "That Jay cares about you, and you're his friend. But it takes a lot more than that to make a family, Charlie. That doesn't mean that Jay won't be in your life, but it won't be the same way as me and daddy or grandpa hank are in your life. Does that make sense?"

"I guess so." Charlotte murmurs, "I like having Jay here."

Me too. Erin smiles, pulling her daughter onto her lap and holding her tight, "I know you do, bear. And you know what, I think Jay likes being here with you, too."

Charlotte smiles against her mother's shoulder, and it leaves Erin feeling a little lighter than she did when she came upstairs after Charlotte called for her to help. She'd left Jay downstairs after having just dropped a bomb on her, and she'd walked up here incredibly frustrated with him. But listening to her daughter talk about him reminded Erin that, above all else, Jay was a good person; he was just as invested in finding out who was after Charlie, and he hadn't given her a reason to doubt him thus far; maybe she should give him a chance to state his case before she chewed him out for invading her privacy the way he did.

By the time Erin and Charlotte make their way downstairs, the kitchen is cleared up and Jay is leaning against the island counter sipping from a green bottle. Erin spies the label as he spins twists the bottle on the counter, alcohol-free beer. She replays Will and Jay's conversation at the hospital in her head; Jay mentioned his 'recovery' but Erin didn't know what he had meant by that; she assumed some type of physical rehab, given how bruised and battered his defined, muscled torso looked. He had quite a few scars, some looked fresher than others; Erin's curiosity peaked, but she also wasn't one to pry; if Jay wanted to tell her, that was his decision; she wouldn't make him tell a story he wasn't ready to share, despite her temptation to get back at him for practically forcing her into the same situation with the file he'd presented her.

"Thanks," Erin said, indicating to the clean benches.

"It's the least I could do." Jay smiles, looking at Charlotte resting against Erin's hip, "Still feeling pancakes, Charlie girl?"

Erin smiles at the nickname, and she sees Charlotte's cheeks pink ever so slightly at Jay's words. A giddy laugh escapes her girl, Charlotte shaking her head on Erin's shoulder.

"How about Purple Pig?" Erin asks, Charlotte's eyes widening as she lifts her head and nods vigorously.

"Gnocchi!" Charlotte exclaims, Erin laughing at her daughter's excitement.

"We can get gnocchi. Jay, what do you think?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Good," Erin calls up and places their order, Jay's eyes widening with every potato-based dish his boss orders. It's enough food for eight people, way more than the three of them need.

When Erin turns to see his flabbergasted face, she simply shrugs as she sidles up next to her daughter, now seated on the stool next to Jay, as she tells him, "One thing about the Lindsay women, we love a good potato."

"Heck yeah!" Charlotte says, Jay unable to smother his laugh at her adorable voice. He'd never known anyone like Charlotte Lindsay-Severide. She had a personality like no one he'd ever met, and despite all the changes she'd experienced in such a short time, she took it all in stride; she was a patient, kind, loving little girl; Jay only hoped if he ever had a daughter, she would be as wonderful as the little girl sitting beside him. And that the mother of his children was as loving and devoted as Erin was to Charlotte.

That thought took him by surprise, but before he could think about it, Charlotte was asking him about his stitches, Jay letting her pull his arm into her lap to examine them closely. Her fingers delicately touched around the area as she asked, "does it hurt?"

"Not too much. I've had worse." Jay chuckles, trying to brush it off; the sincere worry in Charlotte's eyes settles deep in his chest; he's not had someone look quite so concerned for his wellbeing in a long time, and the fact that it's from someone so innocent as Charlotte hits him even harder; she doesn't know any better, doesn't know all the bad parts of him, she just sees someone she cares about who is hurt and wants to know how to help.

"We should put a magic band-aid," Charlotte determines, looking up at Erin, "mommy, where's the med-uh-cine box?"

Erin smiles at her daughter, "I don't know that Jay needs a magic band-aid sweetie, those stitches seem to be doing the job."

Charlotte shakes her head adamantly, "The magic band-aid always helps, and you said we only use them when we're really hurt," She looks to Jay's arm again, "Jay's really hurt, mama, and I want him to be better quick."

Jay's heart warms, and when his eyes meet Erin's questioning ones, he nods, letting her know it's okay; if it makes Charlotte feel better, keep that sweet smile on her face, he'll wrap his whole damn body in kiddie band-aids.

Erin walks to the other side of the kitchen, opening a cupboard above the oven and pulling down the neatly organised box labelled 'Charlotte's magic medicine'. Jay smiles at the stickers littering the lid, a collection of different characters from shows that he knows Charlotte likes. Erin looks at him apologetically when she pulls out the kids' band-aid box, a Wiggles-printed band-aid pinched between her fingers. Jay just smiles, reassuring her it's fine.

Charlotte and Erin hold Jay's arm, and he does his best to ignore the tingling sensation that runs through his body when Erin's thumb caresses his arm, moving gently back and forth as she lets Charlotte help her peel the covering off the band-aid with their free hands, then helping Charlotte stick the band-aid beside the stitches on Jay's arm, doing her best to convince Charlotte that the magic powers of her Wiggles band-aids will still work if they're next to Jay's stitches, not on it. Jay looks at her appreciatively, both knowing how difficult it would be to remove the band-aid from the thin string woven through his skin. Charlotte leans down and gently kisses Jay's arm where the band-aid sits, and Erin's heart melts at the sight. She looks at Jay, his eyes misty as he watches her little girl. This feels dangerous, teetering on uncharted territory, asking for trouble.

A knock at the door startles Erin, breaking them from the quiet moment. She pulls away quickly, leaving Charlotte with Jay as she goes to get their dinner order. When she walks back into the kitchen, Jay's gotten a glass of water for each of them, as well as opened a bottle of beer for Erin. He's sitting back down at the kitchen counter and Charlotte stands up from her chair, reaching over to sit in his lap. Jay smiles and wraps his uninjured hand around her waist, letting her sit comfortably. The scene strikes Erin deeply – it had been a long time since she's had a meal like this with her own husband. Kelly rarely took the time to make dinner for them after a long day, or help her set up the table, let alone get her a drink or sit with Charlotte while they ate; he was normally scooping his dinner into a takeaway box as he ran out the house to make it to whatever gig he had booked for the night. The scene before her made Erin's entire body warm, an unfamiliar sense of comfort filling her as she watched Jay and Charlotte; Charlotte had grown so attached to Jay in the last ten weeks, some would argue too close, but Erin couldn't find it in her to worry about that; right now, she was just happy that her daughter had someone she felt she could rely on, someone she knew cared for her, and would protect her. All she wanted was for Charlotte to feel safe, and Erin knew Jay provided that for her daughter.

"Smells good," Jay says, breaking Erin out of her reverie.

"Can I have an extra big plate today, mama?"

Erin chuckles, laying out the copious amounts of food on the counter before them, "Of course, bear, anything for you."

"Does that mean we can have ice cream after dinner today, too?"

"We already had ice cream after school, munchkin." Jay tickles her side, making Charlotte squirm and giggle.

"You aren't supposed to tell her!" Charlotte whispers, though not quietly enough for her mother to not hear, "That's how you get two desserts Jay!"

"Ohhhh," Jay says quietly, "My bad."

"Well, either way, no ice cream tonight, Charlie-bear. You gotta get to bed on time today because mama and Jay have some work to discuss later."

The reminder of their earlier conversation fills Jay with dread. He knows Erin will listen to what he has to say, but he has no idea how she'll react. Whether or not his job is on the line. This is his one chance to prove to Voight that he's ready to come back, that he deserves his job, and he's taken a huge risk by asking Mouse to dig into Erin past, an even bigger risk by showing Erin everything he found. A part of him tried to justify it, because Erin knew about his past, about everything that led to him losing his job; only she didn't know anything, Voight had not told her, and Erin hadn't pushed for answers. She'd respected his right to privacy. And now he felt like the biggest asshole for not doing the same. Hopefully, the information he had would make up for it. Hopefully, it would be the break in the case that they needed.


"I want to keep an open mind about this, but I've got to admit, I'm pissed off at the moment." Erin says as she comes down the stairs, moving to stand across from where Jay's sitting at the kitchen island. He hasn't moved since Erin took Charlotte upstairs for bed; he didn't want Erin to think he was snooping around her house while she wasn't looking. They were dancing on a delicate line at the moment, and he needed to keep her trust as much as he could right now.

"I understand that."

"You had no right prying into my private life, not without asking me at least." Erin huffs, "But, I can believe that you had the best of intentions in doing so, and that's the only thing keeping me from calling Voight and having you dismissed right now." If Erin was being honest with herself, that was only a small part of the reason – the bigger being that Charlotte would be devastated if Jay went away. Her daughter cared deeply for him, and that was – unbeknownst to Jay - his saving grace right now.

"I did, really I did, Erin." Jay says, "I wasn't going to look at it unless Mouth found something worth pursuing."

"Which he did." Erin deduces.

"Right, your history with Charlie Pugliese-"

"Is irrelevant to my daughter. Charlie Pugliese has been dead for twelve years. There's no way he's the person pulling the strings. Voight looked into this when we started the case."

"He did?" Jay asks, confused.

"Of course, as you probably know by now, he's been a part of my life for a long time."

"He's your foster father."

"He and his wife, Camille, took me in when I was twelve. My mother was involved in a case that Hank was working, DCFS was going to put me in a group home … Hank intervened. I testified against my mother, and Hank and Camille looked after me. Gave me a family." She didn't know why she was telling him all of this, Jay would've seen it in her file anyways, but she felt the need to explain it; she wanted him to hear her story in her own words.

"You met Charlie Pugliese when you were sixteen. Voight knew him?"

"Charlie was- is the biggest mistake of my life." Erin sighs, leaning down on the island bench, head in her hands as she tries to collect her thoughts, "Did Charlie ever tell you that Kelly and I were high school sweethearts?"

"The briefing file we got when I started my protection detail had your marriage date, I deduced as much."

"He was in the year above me, but his family lived on our street, so I saw him a lot. We started dating when I was fifteen. Ironically, we broke up because I thought he was cheating on me with one of the girls on cheer team." Erin chuckles, "I was spiralling, not really sure who I was, and some of the girls I was friends with were big in the party scene. I'd done my best to stay away from it, Voight and Camille had very strict rules for my staying them, and I was on scholarship anyways; I couldn't afford to make mistakes. But I was so … vulnerable. They convinced me a night out would feel better. So we snuck into this club, and that's where I met Charlie."

"How long were you two together?"

"Six months. It was hot and heavy, and he somehow had me believing that he really cared about me, that he loved me. And I was in so deep, I would've done anything for him. I did anything for him, whatever he wanted, I made it happen."

"The case files for his arrest say you were Voight's CI."

Erin nods, "There was another girl. Annie. Charlie was with her too. He told me it was just business, that he hadn't slept with her, didn't love her. Not like he loved me." Erin scoffs, "Stupidly, I believed him. Then one day, she comes to me, says she's pregnant and Charlie wants her to get rid of it. But she wants to keep the baby. She thought I would help her get out of town."

"But you didn't." Jay says.

"I told Charlie. He told me that if she said anything to me, I needed to tell him. He told me about the pregnancy, said it wasn't his baby, but she was pretending it was to get money from him. He made her out to be this master manipulator, told me she was only going to keep the baby so she could have him arrested, since she was fifteen at the time." Erin shivers as she says the words, and Jay resists the urge to reach out and hold her hand in his, to comfort her in some way. "In hindsight, it's a weak ass story he made up, but I was young, and I thought he loved me. So I told him what she was planning. He said he'd take care of it, that he would look after me. The next morning, she was dead. I watched him shoot her twice – once in the stomach, then right between her eyes; he made me help him bury the body. I went home that afternoon, sat in the shower for three hours until I had scrubbed my skin raw, then told Hank everything."

"I didn't know that." Jay murmurs.

"Voight had Alvin backstop my CI paperwork. Charlie was arrested. I don't know all the details of what Voight said to him, what he did to him, but you and I both know the extent he's willing to go to."

Jay nodded, knowing all too well how much Hank Voight bent the rules. He'd done it during Jay's last case – Hank's idea of justice strayed far from the legal definitions.

"Charlie died in prison, stabbed by someone connected to Annie's older brother; apparently, she had family ties to a gang, Charlie didn't know when he got involved with her. It was why he'd taken the prison deal. Hank offered to keep him out of general population. Not that it mattered in the end."

"… Hank really cares about you."

"He's my family." Erin says, "I don't agree with his methods, and he knows that; it's a big reason why I went down this line of work in the PD. I wanted to try and change the system from the inside, because I'd seen how far some cops were willing to step over the line, because they thought it was the only option; that it was the right thing to do. I understood why Hank does what he does, but I've always thought there was a better way to do it."

"There is," Jay says, "Your work is proof of that, Erin."

Erin manages a small smile, nodding at his words, "Anyways, as you can see, Charlie's not going to be an issue in this. If there was any doubt about that, Voight would've mentioned it."

"But what about Johnny?" Jay asks. At Erin's confused look, he continues, "Johnny Pugliese, Charlie's older brother?"

"His brother?"

"Yeah, he's been in prison since he was 16. According to his records, he got 25 years for killing his and Charlie's dad. Charlie was 14 at the time."

"Okay so he would've been released, what, almost three years ago? Why would he comes after me now, or at all?"

"Because you're the reason his brother was in jail. He probably blames you for his death." Jay argues, "Mouse ran his financials. He wasn't allowed to leave the State for two years, but he hired a PI. I checked with the company, they confirmed that he was sent to scout someone in New York. And by the time he was allowed to leave the state-"

"I came back to Chicago." Erin sighs, "He wants to hurt Charlotte, as revenge for me getting his brother killed."

"It seems that way."

"Shit. We need to call Lang and Voight, now. If it is Johnny, he's not going to leave it at a few pranks, he won't rest until he's got me. Or Charlotte."


A/N: A smaller chapter this time around, but I wanted to get something out for y'all! Sorry it's been so long, life's just been hectic and I'm struggling to find time to write – rest assured I will be finishing all my stories at some point, it just may take me longer than I originally anticipated for that to happen.

If you're still here, please leave a review :) Thanks for your patience.

Until next time …