She woke in Grissom's arms, his steady breathing let her know he was deep asleep. She thought about slipping out of his grasp, walking around or finding her book, but she knew it would wake him and he needed the sleep, she knew that. He had been at her beck and call.
While she was in the hospital he stayed by her side the entire four or five days she was admitted. And he had refused to sleep while he sat at her side all day and all night. Even as she slept he would not. Yes, he would nod off a few times here and there, but only for 15 minutes at a time at most. He would have cup of coffee after cup of coffee, trying desperately to keep his eyes opened.
And the first few days she was home, in the safety of their bed together, she knew he still would not sleep while she slept. He would get into bed with her, hold her, be with her as she would fall into slumber, but never sleep himself.
He finally gave in a few days ago. His body crashed from sleep deprivation and he had slept for hours on in.
As she laid in his arms her mind began to wander. She began to think about the first time she had laid like this, in his arms, just listening to the soothing sound of his breathing. It was nearly two years ago, and as she had revealed to Ecklie, she thought it was a Sunday.
He had kissed her two days previous. The team had gone out to breakfast and they had been the last two to leave. She remembered how he walked her to her car, and then it happened so fast that she wasn't really sure of what happened next, just that she suddenly had felt his lips on hers. She had been so surprised that she was numb. She couldn't move, not to close her eyes, not to respond to his kiss, nothing.
And when he broke the kiss, he looked into her eyes, he suddenly became ashamed of himself. He had looked down at the ground as he apologized and then walked off to his car and left.
Sara's mind had been on overload the rest of the day. The fallowing day she went into work as usually not know what to do or what to say. She was still shocked and confused. He had walked into the break room with assignments that night and not once did he make eye contact with her. He never even really addressed her, just said, "Greg- you and Sara have a 419 at the Rampart.". He himself had not taken a case that night, just locked himself up in his office and claimed to tend to the paperwork that piled up.
She remembered not really being able to concentrate on the case well, and Greg had called her out on it. By the end of shift she was fed up with everything. She was fed up with her over calculative mind, fed up with all the insecurities, fed up with all of Grissom's nonsense. She had made up her mind to confront him and give him a piece of her mind. Tell him off on how he cant just play around with her; How he can't just keep pushing her away and pulling her back in like a yo-yo. She refused to put up with it anymore.
Determined, she made her way to his office at the end of shift. But to her surprise the door had been locked and lights off. Trudy informed her that he had gone home as soon as shift ended. Something he never did.
She hadn't quite realized what she was doing until she parked the car in front of his town house. She walked up to the front door, her head held high, ready and confident as she knocked on the door.
And a moment later, he was standing there in front of her, with him on one side of the threshold and her on the other. And suddenly, as she looked into his eyes that reveled hurt and uncertainty, she didn't feel very confident anymore.
"Sara..." he said softly, almost as a whisper, surprised to see her. She said nothing in return, just stared at him. He felt obligated to continue, "look, Sara. . . I-"
She put her hand on either side of his face and pressed her lips to his, stopping any further words from leaving his lips. She kissed him with all the passion she wanted to the day before but was too surprised to.
When she broke the kiss and looked at him, she saw how relaxed his features had become, and the ghost of a smile that tried to tug at his lips.
"Would you like to come in?" he finally said, and she nodded softly. He moved aside and let her in, gently closing the door and locking it.
"I guess we need to talk," he continued,
"i guess so."
They had talked for a long while, longer than either had realized. That night he had confessed a lot to her, his fear of relationships, of interfering with work, of losing her. And in turn she listened, and understood, and expressed her sorrow for lost time but stressed the fact that it was all in the past and that the only thing that really matters between them is the future, which put him at ease.
She stifled a yawn as the sun began to break through the shades. He glanced down at his wrist watch which revealed that it was just about 5:30 in the morning.
"Sara- you should go get some rest. When was the last time you slept?"
"Before the Henderson case." she admitted.
"That was a day and a half ago." he rose and helped her up off the couch, "Go home and get some rest."
"okay," she agreed as she stood, her hand clasped within his, and as he helped her up her body was brought close to his. They stood there for a moment before their lips met again. And this time they had both been ready for it. The kiss intensified as Grissom found the nerve to place his hands on her back and pull her in closer to him. Her hands slid around to the back of his neck and her long fingers played with his curly hair.
They stood like that for a while, the kiss grew deeper and more passionate. And as their bodies were pushed closer together she began to feel his arousal against her, and as soon as she did she pulled away from the kiss and looked at him.
Shame suddenly appeared on his face as he went to back away, but before he could she grabbed him and pulled him into another long passionate kiss, pressing herself against him as much as physically possible. She could feel him smile against her lips which turned her on even more.
They had begun to shuffle towards his bedroom, step by step. She began to unbutton his shirt, and he didn't stop her.
It hadn't really hit either of them what was transpiring between them until they arrived at Grissom's bedroom with his shirt off and hers' unbuttoned but still on.
He looked at her, "Sara. . ." her name rolled off his tongue, ". . . are you sure..."
"yes."
"Once we go through with this. . . we cant take it back."
She looked deep into his eyes, lifted her hand and traced her fingertips over his bearded jawline.
"im sure." she said in a soft whisper as she kissed him softly, lingering.
His hands pushed her shirt off her shoulders, letting it fall in a heap on the floor, revealing her black lace bra. He was so mesmerized by the sight of her that he almost didn't feel her unbuttoning and then unzipping his jeans.
"how's your arm"
"hu?" she snapped her head in his direction to find him awake and looking at her oddly, taking her out of her day dream.
"how's your arm? you're due for another dose of pain killers."
"oh- its a little painful, i think if i take half the dose ill be fine."
he kissed the top of her head and slid out of bed, disappearing down the hall.
He returned with a two pills and a glass of water,
"thank you," she half smiled as she graciously took the water and then the pills.
"So," she began as she finished swallowing the second of the two pills, "whose my baby sitter tonight as you go off gallivanting through the streets of vages?"
"Catherine." he said simply, ignoring her lure at a rise from him.
"Catherine?" she repeated dumbfounded.
"Why is that bad?"
"No- just. . . . you're not worried of her snooping around her."
"No, not particularly. Our relationship is out in the open. Dont normal couples have their friends over cassually like that?"
"I suppose. . ." when he worded it like that she wasn't quite sure how to respond.
"Anyway, she's a woman."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing- . . . . just that you hang out with guys too often. It'll be a good change of pace for you."
she laughed, "go get ready for work before you regret sticking around any longer."
he raised one eyebrow and flashed his boyish grin her way before bending down and kissing her softly, then heading off to the shower.
TBC. . . .
