Commensalism
II
I continued to sit still; my pride and my common sense telling me not to say anything at all toward the matter. I sat back harshly and went back to my task of staring out the window. I felt tears cascade down my cold cheeks. My brow furrowed and I shut my eyes, trying to stop the warm liquid from falling any further.
I suddenly felt a presence softly and gracefully settle down next to me. I felt his shoulder tenderly brush mine causing my face to heat up with more unshed tears. His hand reached over and he closed the curtain so that I was not looking out at the murky forest. I turned toward him and found the carriage was completely dark except for the flickering flames from the small lanterns on the opposite wall from me.
I felt Master Sasuke's mouth glide along my ear. I melted against his body and he held me close. I felt my mouth part slightly and my fingers reach up and brush the arm of his long coat. The fabric was rough as I slid my fingertips up to rest under his bicep. He brought his hand to my neck and pulled back my long, thick braid so that it was lying heavily on my upper back and brushed my lower back. His hand slid along the back of my neck, reached up, and gently rested his fingers under my jaw while his thumb brushed my ear. He tilted my head over ever so gently and landed a light kiss on the crook of my pale neck.
"I need you, my love," he whispered into my neck, causing me to let out a sigh. "I want you. I want to take you and I want to give you what you want, but in the process, you will only have misery. I could never live on knowing that I caused you to go through such tremendous torture."
He kissed away a tear that started to descend down my blushing face.
"You were wrong, my darling," he mumbled, his mouth moving between my nose and cheek. "I think highly of you. You are someone that I could vision myself with. I'm just scared."
I pulled back slowly but not far, his full lips leaving my shocked face tingling.
Master Sasuke was never scared. He refused to express any type of fear at all, leaving it a mystery whether he was scared or not.
He looked down; his long dark lashed brushing his creamy cheeks. His lips thinned into a firm line as he seemed to contemplate on what exactly he should say next. His hand still rested on my cheek while the other rested on my hip.
"If we wreck this, as in foolishly let someone notice our affection for one another," he sighed, "then…"
I leaned forward and brushed my lips across his cold, soft cheek. The look he had on his face startled me. It was as if he considered crying in front of me. His half lidded eyes cradled my emerald ones as I stared at him intently. I studied his eyes with such care; so full of love and despair. He leaned forward and slightly tilted his head to the side. I stayed utterly still, knowing that's what he wanted. His lips hovered over mine for a moment.
I felt anxious. My heart raced hurriedly. I could feel my breath quicken in anticipation.
Then, his lips brushed mine. His cold breath made my head spin as returned the kiss eagerly. I felt his sharp fangs glide over my chin as he sucked and nibbled my bottom lip. With the courage that I mustered up, I opened my mouth slowly. His cold tongue plunged into my awaiting mouth. His tongue searched the walls or my warm cavern and mine embraced his.
He pulled away hesitantly and his orchid eyes were pleading with me; asking for relief. I pulled up my dress and straddled his waist. He sighed and laid me down on my back, still residing between my legs. He crushed his full lips to mine and plunged his wet tongue into my mouth. He lured my fighting tongue into his cold mouth. My tongue swept across his hungry fangs. One of his hands rested beside my head while his other grasped my thigh.
He suddenly pierced my tongue with his sharp K-9s. I whimpered slightly and he brought his hand up to stroke my check tenderly. He stopped kissing me, but he did not pull away. The pad of his thumb soothed me greatly. When he realized that I felt comforted enough for him to continue, he did. He sucked and squeezed my tongue hungrily. His movements became harsh as he craved more and more of my silky blood. I grasped the back of his head heatedly as I begged for him to go further. Surprisingly, his hands moved along my body in the gentlest way.
He suddenly pulled away at an abnormal speed. He was sitting on the other side of the carriage, his eyes closed and his long tongue licked up the remaining drops of blood that had overflowed from his mouth. I could still feel the metallic taste of the crimson liquid rest on my now aching tongue.
He stopped. He stopped in the middle of his feeding. He has done it constantly from the previous feeding times, but his time seemed different. Knowing his feelings for me were pure and genuine, made the retreat seem so much more meaningful. I unknowingly smiled to myself.
"Is there a reason why you are showing such joy," he asked as he sat up properly, his eyes returning to their original onyx color.
I took in his blank face. His eyes were still slightly heated and his hands were clenched firmly at his sides. I knew that even though he refused to show it, I knew that he felt as joyous as I was. The feeling of knowing that you were here accompanied by your love on a long trip will naturally make your stomach churn.
"Is there a reason why you are not," I asked him coyly.
His face was suddenly angry yet slightly sad. He closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh. I felt my smile diminish.
"Sakura," he started. "That was a mistake. We should not have ventured that far. We are testing authority by even thinking about each other in such ways. I love you, my dear Sakura, but we cannot make this a habit."
I stared at him like he had just stabbed me repeatedly. I did not know what to do at the moment. To understand the fact that he regretted the small amount of love we just shared made me feel like there was no affection between us at all. It felt as if I was the only one who felt like what just occurred was a lot more than a feverous kiss and a slight chance to feed.
The ride to the train station seemed to stretch on forever. My mind remained blank, for I had nothing else to think about. I did all my thinking when he hinted his deepest regret. I found that in despair, I tend to think of trivial and unnecessary things; wondering around nonsense.
"This train will lead us to a ship that will then take us to London," Sasuke said to me as I settled into my room on the train. I simply nodded, and after a moment of watching my back, he left to go unpack his belongings.
I placed my dresses in the closet and my combs on the dresser. The room was extremely small, but was big enough for the small amount of time we intended to stay here. I plopped onto my bed and found myself staring at my black boots.
I wish that Master Sasuke could see me other than a servant. No matter how many times he would announce his love to me behind concealed doors, it felt so unreal. It felt as if he did not understand my existence at all. He did not know that as me being a servant meant that I would dedicate my life to him; that my unimportant life was merely set here to assist him. I was to assist him in everything that he lacks. That includes cleaning, company, a secretary, and love. I am providing all of that if only he would let me complete my mission.
I slowly took off my dress with a little more effort since I lacked assistance but the task was finished. I slipped into my lilac, silk nightgown and hid myself under the bland sheets that covered the bed. I turned off the lamp that rested on the dresser and focused my eyes on the lights that flickered form the street lights that we passed.
"One…two…three," I counted as each flash appeared on the floor.
I was in deep depression at this point. Tears gushed down my plump cheeks in rivers as I played the scene over in my head. The feeling of his cold fingers still lingered on my skin and the taste of his tongue prying deep inside my mouth never left. I was not prepared for the pain that came afterwards. I felt foolish in every way that could be imagined. How could I have not seen it? The signs were engraved in every action and every movement that gave me the idea of his affection toward me; it was all a lie.
