"Santana, we would still like you to do the background vocals on the project we hired you for, but we would also like to start developing a project for you. Sid here had a wonderful idea to garner a buzz around you even before your own project comes to fruition. He's working on a soundtrack for an upcoming film. This is a major motion picture with some huge Hollywood names attached to it and we had gotten Camille a spot on the soundtrack in anticipation of her own project being released shortly after. Sid here still likes the idea of you working with Camille, but on one song, a collaboration for the soundtrack. Not background vocals, an actual duet. We were going to try and develop a song that would be released and created buzz for Camille's upcoming project. Why don't we expand that and have Camille's project, when released, create that same sort of buzz surrounding your own? We won't tie you two together too tightly, but just enough to propel one another. Initially I thought your styles were too similar to sign you and develop you both but after tonight, after tonight I think you've changed my mind," Cal said. "You're similar to Camille vocally, but with an edge, and you play piano and guitar, which I had no idea about. Also you're very versatile. I know our vocal coaches won't be able to wait to get their hands on you."
"My project," Santana repeated in awe.
"We'd like to talk about signing you to the label as an artist, Santana. Initially I thought about maybe seeing how you worked behind the scenes with other artists, something about you made me believe that you would be great in production one day, after all a lot of artists are great at production, but you have something so engaging about you, so open and honest, and sensual. I think that would be very marketable."
Santana was silent for a moment and then excited, and then...dread. Santana sighed. This was the big leagues, the real deal, the beginning of the dream come true, or the end.
"Cal, I appreciate the offer, really I do, but if I'm going to do this I have to let you know something."
All of the men in the room looked troubled. Santana took a deep breath before continuing.
"An ex girlfriend of mine posted a sex tape of us online without my knowledge a couple of years ago. I had a friend of mine bury it pretty deep but people know it exists, and people have seen it, and I'm sure people with far better technology and skills than my guy will be able to dig it up."
Cal smiled. "We know about the tape, Santana. We don't like scandals, well at least not certain scandals. A sex tape falls low on our radar as long as all parties were consenting adults."
Santana let out a long breath. "We were."
"We've been looking at you for a while, at working with you. We've dug through years worth of your social media for anything that could be harmful that would make us wary of working with you, and our tech guys are amazing. Your guy must have done a pretty decent job as well, because we found references to the video, but not the actual video. Now when your name becomes huge, and it will, there will be people who make it their business to try and find it. What's different now is we have an excellent legal team to protect you."
Sid jumped in. "Santana, you're gay, you're Latina, you belong to a motorcycle club, the way you dress, your quick wit, we're going to give you that sexy, edgy, sultry, bad girl with a heart of gold kind of vibe. You get to be you. Even in this day and age some people believe we need to keep your sexuality ambiguous in order to market to the heterosexual people of the world but I think it works for you. I think men will still find you sexy, and the women you date as well. Hate to sound like a sleaze ball but sex sells, and you and a girlfriend that looks like yours won't hurt you with a lot of men."
Santana paused and then it hit her. She doesn't want to share Brittany's secret and yet she may need to.
"I know this might not be the most professional thing in the world but can you give me five minutes please? It really is crucial to this conversation."
The men looked at one another confused but then Cal smiled at Santana.
"Sure. We can spare another 5 minutes."
"Thank you." Santana said, and raced out of the room. She went back inside and instantly it felt like everyone in the club had been waiting for her and wanted to congratulate her. It was a mistake to show her face, but luckily one of the people nearest to her was Sugar who was lingering around the backstage entrance so she could be the first to know what happened with Santana. Before Sugar could even speak Santana grabbed her.
"Sugar, I need Brittany back here now, no time to waste. Please get her and get her for me as quickly as you can I only have a minute."
"Okay Santana," Sugar said and rushed off to find Brittany. Santana accepted the compliments of those nearby and thanked them for coming out before ducking back inside, waiting for Brittany. About 2 minutes later the blonde was at her side, and Santana pulled her into a small dressing room.
"Brittany, I have to speak fast. They're offering to sign me. I didn't want any surprises later and so I told them about the tape. They already knew. Said their people would keep it out of the public eye and under control. If I have any sort of success word of your pictures may surface again. I'm sorry Britt. Can I tell them, so that I can make sure they know from the beginning that I need them to protect you too?"
Brittany was just shocked. So much information came in at once. They were signing her girlfriend. The pictures, maybe even more people than ever would know about them one day.
Santana saw it in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Britt. If being with me is going to hurt you..."
Those words snapped Brittany out of her racing thoughts.
"I'll never regret falling in love with you, Santana. If you think you need to tell them. Tell them."
"Thank you. Do you want to come in with me?"
"No. I'm so proud of you honey. I'll wait outside with the others until you come and share the news."
"Okay baby, I love you."
"Love you too honey," Brittany said. Santana kissed her quickly and raced back inside as Brittany sat for a moment, letting everything sink in.
"I'm so sorry gentlemen. You mentioned my girlfriend and I had to speak to her. This affects her as well," Santana sighed. "She has some nude pictures on the internet as well. They were stolen and posted by the roommate of her ex boyfriend without his knowledge. I got the same guy who handled my tape to scrub them as best as he could, but if I am successful I'll become a liability to her in keeping them out of the public eye. If you're willing to protect her as vigorously as you say you'll protect me I'll have someone look at those contracts the minute you hand them to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity. I just need to know she'll be protected, even if something were to happen and we we were no longer together. For the rest of her life I never want her worrying about those photos reappearing, especially not because of her connection to me."
Cal looked at the others in the room and smiled. "Santana, that won't be a problem. I have to say I love your honesty. We love your integrity. Keep that. This business will try and steal that from you. Your girlfriend won't have to worry. You won't have to worry, as I said we have very good lawyers. It seems like both of you had these images posted without your consent. I'm sure that would be helpful to our people. Trust me. You both will be protected to the best of our abilities."
"Thank you all," Santana said and finally she dared to smile, and then slowly it hit her all at once and tears sprung into her eyes. "Ay Dios Mio" she whispered. "Did that performance just land me a record deal?" Santana asked as if she had dreamt the entire conversation that happened before that moment.
Everyone laughed, "Yes it did Santana," Cal answered.
"Well I guess I'm lucky you guys showed up tonight. I had invited my family and friends, this was mainly for them. I only had 6 days to prepare that set. Had I known you'd be there I would have put it off until it was perfect."
"It was perfect Santana. Listen, we heard what you said about overthinking when you play. I had no idea you played any instruments, seems like most people didn't know. When you work with us, I want you to trust your gut the way you did when you asked to make those changes to Camille's song. Trust your gut like you trusted it to put on your set the way you did tonight. Your gut is what's getting you these opportunities. When you follow it your best music happens."
"Okay," Santana said, shaking her head.
"And it was no mistake that we were here tonight. Holly called me when Sugar told her you wanted to try something different tonight, she said she thought that I should have someone there to see it live even if I couldn't be here myself. I'm so glad that I was able to see it for myself."
"Holly..." Santana said, a rush of thoughts flooding her brain.
"Yes, I spoke to her after I signed you to help Camille..."
"Oh man," Santana said, a realization finally hitting her. "Holly doesn't hire professional singers. This contract means that I won't be able to work here anymore."
"You still want to work here, Santana? You'll be a very busy woman soon enough."
"This is my home, it's where I feel most free creatively. Of course I want a deal, but taking this place away would be taking a piece of me away." Santana said sadly. "I've been here since they've opened, even recruited some of the singers I'd worked with or run across to join the team. They're my family."
Cal looked around the room at the other men concerned. "If this is where you're finding your new creative voice I wouldn't want to slow that down right now. Listen Santana, I'll talk to Holly. She and I have a good relationship. I know that she put that rule in effect not only because she wants to give artists a place to gain opportunities but also because some of the label reps that come in here can make it a headache to work with someone once an artist is signed under them. She won't have that problem out of us. If she will allow you to work here in some capacity until we need your undivided attention we would be okay with that. As a matter of fact it could be a mutually beneficial arrangement. I could imagine you starting to draw more recognition and credibility to the place and with you actively performing it could only create more buzz around your upcoming projects. One condition though, and it's a huge one..."
"What's that?"
"That original music you spoke of, no debuting that. You save that for us. If she lets you do another set like you did tonight that would be great. It really felt fresh from what she usually does around here. It felt more gritty and raw and unpolished yet perfect. I loved that. If you do that let us know but covering other songs is fine. Those poems, any music you write, save it for your project. Any new ideas for a set, you run it by us first."
"I can do that," Santana smiled.
"Well if there's nothing else, we'll arrange a proper meeting with you soon. We really just wanted to tell you tonight and express to you how wonderful we thought your set was."
"Thank you."
"Anything else before we go?"
"I was a nude model at an art institute," Santana blurted out.
Cal laughed and the men in the room all smiled.
"You don't have to confess everything to us, it's okay Santana. Don't worry about your image, you let us worry about that. We'll talk, it's all a part of the process." Cal smiled and Santana smiled in return. "By the way, we already knew."
"You guys know too much," Santana finally lightened up and chuckled. "Anyway, I think that's all of my scandals, unless you guys get into body counts and all of that because Santana's been a naughty girl..." The men laughed. "All consensual and age appropriate and no disgruntled exes, and all women so I hope that won't ever be a problem for anyone. I know you say you want to incorporate that into my edgy image so I hope that never changes. I'm 100 percent gay and have never been anything but that. I can't imagine having to conceal that in any way."
"Your sexuality will not be a problem for us, Santana." Cal promised. "All of these things have been discussed amongst the team already."
"I just want everything out there before this really sinks in. Don't want any reason for you to take it away from me. If you're going to do that I'd prefer you do it now."
"No Santana, it's a legitimate offer and it's not going away. As soon as you get those contracts and sign them I'll extend my hand to you and welcome you to the family. For tonight, the handshake will be enough to seal the deal."
Santana stood and walked over to shake Cal's hand. Cal stood and met her half way.
"Thank you for the opportunity. I will work my hardest for you guys." Santana said, making her way around the room and shaking each hand.
"You're more than welcome Santana. I have a feeling it's going to be an interesting journey," Cal said, a smile on his face. He liked Santana's spirit, her whole vibe. He knows with the right project and the right marketing that this girl could have an amazing career. He hopes she stays on the creative track that she's on now. She's grown so much since he first saw her perform, and she's growing fast. He knows he got her at the right time, because even if she doesn't know it more labels will be knocking at her door soon, real soon. It's why he made his move tonight. By morning that performance will hit the internet, and he wants her to remember that he believed in her first.
Santana sat in the room alone as the group left ,that is until Sugar came rushing in with huge, hopeful eyes. Santana just looked at her and started crying and all Sugar could do is hold her as she bawled.
"Should I go get Brittany?" Sugar asked softly.
"No, just give me a minute and I'll be right out. I need some time alone."
"There's a lot of people out there who've waited patiently for the chance to congratulate you on your set tonight. Should I send everybody home?"
"Absolutely not. I want every bit of feedback I can get, positive or negative. I won't keep them, I'll be right out."
"Okay," Sugar said sadly.
"Sugar?"
"Yes Santana?"
"I love you, doll. You're a really good friend. Nosey as fuck, but a really good friend."
"I know you love me, you said so on stage tonight." Sugar smiled brightly. "I love you too, Sanny."
Santana chuckled. "You and this Sanny shit," she shook her head.
"You're my Sanny bear, deal with it. See you outside. It's gonna be okay, Sanny."
"I know Suge, I know."
Santana just needed a moment. She always needed a moment to digest things, especially good things. Bad things were easy to react to with anger, or sadness, but good things brought fear, fear that they would be taken away somehow. She only took a moment, though, because people were waiting, Brittany was waiting, and she didn't want to make her hold her good news for too long. Santana went back into the club and accepted the greetings and praise of those closest to the stage area before she hopped up on stage and sat at the piano. She played a soft intro to a song, tears silently falling down her face, and everyone froze in their tracks, including the record execs who were on their way out the door.
Nani knew if Santana was singing this song she was emotional, deeply emotional, and she wasn't sure if it was grief or joy, she just knew she felt compelled to be at her cousin's side, backing her up as always. She went on stage and grabbed Finn's drumsticks and softly backed her up, adding a beat to the song she was so familiar with, a song that reminded them of their grandmother, and the fight that was in her that she passed all the way down the line to these two granddaughters of hers.
Many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over
Nani joined in and Santana looked in her eyes and felt even more emotional. This was the first time she and Nani had played together, and Nani looked at her with so much love in her Santana felt like nothing could ever touch her without getting through the shield that was her cousin.
Wandering I am lost
As I travel along
the white cliffs of Dover
Many rivers to cross
And it's only my will
that keeps me alive
I've been licked,
washed up for years
And I merely survive
because of my pride
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be on your own
My baby left me and didn't say why
Well I guess, I have to cry
Many rivers to cross
But just where to begin,
I'm playing for time
There've been times when I find myself,
and I find myself Thinking
of committing some dreadful crime
Santana stopped playing, Nani carrying the beat as she took the mic and continued to sing, setting it on the stand as she picked up her guitar and stood in front of the mic, singing and waiting to play a guitar solo.
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be here on your own
My baby left me and she didn't say why
Well I guess, I'll have to cry ohhhhhhh
She played that solo and you could see every note she played ripping through her body before she put the guitar down and took the mic back to the piano to finish singing her song. She was surprised to hear Mercedes' voice join in on the chorus, and she smiled at her friend with gratitude, as she and Nani backed her vocals as she came to the end of her song.
Yeah, I've got
many rivers to cross
But I just can't seem to find
my way over
I've got
many rivers to cross
As I travel along
the white cliffs of Dover
and I've got many,
many rivers to cross
Santana finished the song and the crowd cheered loudly as she sobbed, and Brittany wanted to go to her, wondering if something had changed once Santana had told them of her nude photos, but everyone felt the need to stay frozen in place for the few seconds it took Santana to speak.
"Thank you all for coming out and supporting me. That was my big cousin Nani who joined me on the drums and background vocals. She claims she's not an artist but it's in the Wright women's blood as you can see. It was our first time playing together so that fills my heart with joy, and my good friend Mercedes Jones joining us on vocals is always an honor and a pleasure. Thanks for backing me up ladies, as you always seem to do. I'm so happy that the people that mean the most to me in the world are here, because I think my life just changed. Sorry I kept you waiting after my set, but some very important people asked to speak to me tonight. I've been on a bit of a fast moving journey these past couple of weeks. I was asked to come in and record a demo for a new artist and when I was there I was my usual outspoken self and asked if I could make a few changes to the bridge. I was allowed to record the demo my way, allowed to change a lyric or two, which led to me getting my first song credit because they decided to go with the changes."
The crowd cheered loudly. There was lots of hooting and hollering. Of course her family and her co workers had known this but no one else did.
"That songwriting credit also ended up with an offer to sing background vocals on the entire album..."
The cheers and applause got loud again and Santana soaked in their love, waiting for a pause so she could speak again.
"And tonight, me turning my set into my own personal experimental showcase of what I hoped was something you all would consider a talent, well I have to thank my boss Holly who may not be here much but she's always invested in us all. I have to thank her for not only allowing me to do this tonight but for inviting those same executives back to see me do this, without warning me might I add..." there was laughter throughout the crowd. "I forgive her though, because she always has our best interests at heart, and tonight was a big night for our little club here, because I just became the first of many artists here who will be offered a recording contract by a major label."
The applause and cheers were deafening. Santana wanted to see each face in the crowd, burn the memory of their joy and pride in her brain, and she saw Wolf standing, his arms raised cheering and she sobbed again, because it's all she's ever wanted.
She saw Brittany and her mother and aunt and abuelita. She saw her friends, and she turned around and she saw Mercedes crying, and she saw Sugar, camera out, capturing it all for her.
"Please tell me the audio video guys recorded that performance," Mercedes said to Sugar.
"When someone steps on that stage in this club they record, and if they missed a moment of this they're all going to need new jobs," Sugar smiled. I recorded the crowd to make sure that I got all of the reactions of her family and friends, though, even though if they were doing their job we should have it all."
"Good," Mercedes said, because anytime I'm feeling down I'm going to watch this again and again."
"She scared the heck out of me with all of the crying and singing."
"No Sugar, tonight was magical, like storybook magical. Something in my heart told me things were good, they just had to be."
Sugar smiled, "One down, six more to go."
"One down, six more to go Sugar," Mercedes smiled, watching as their friend celebrated her success.
Santana stepped off the stage and went straight to her family, and while all of her friends waited, her sisters in the Tainted Angels and Wolf's brothers waited, regulars at the club waited, Wolf would not wait. This night he went to the table where his child celebrated with her family and when she finally fell into his arms he lifted her off her feet and spun her around.
"Snixx, you are amazing and I love you mija," he said, and she sobbed and squeezed the man tight and held on longer than either of them have held one another in years. While everyone wanted to get to Santana they waited, and when she finally broke free he looked her in the eyes.
"The night isn't over mija. When everything calms down I need to speak to you tonight, just for a moment. Is that okay?"
"It may be a late night Wolf," Santana said.
"I will wait. It's very important."
"Okay Wolf," was all she had the chance to say before someone else grabbed her up in a hug.
It took Santana more than an hour to make it through all of her well wishers, to take a moment to talk to them all, and they all waited, and they all were so thankful to have been a part of this night with her. Cougar and Big Momma said that they would set up a celebratory ride and party at the clubhouse after the holidays, and Lance promised to be as diligent as ever, even if the label promised they would handle things. He wanted her to enjoy her success without worries.
By the time she made it to her friends, her co workers, she was ready for the seat that they offered her. Sugar had a round of drinks sent over and she grabbed Brittany on the way to the table, and when they got there Sugar raised her glass.
"To Santana!" Sugar said
"To Santana!" everyone repeated, raising their glasses.
"Holly sends her love. She said we'll plan something special to celebrate."
Santana laughed, "to celebrate replacing me. This contract means I'm out of a job according to Holly's rules."
Everybody suddenly got sad and serious.
"Wow, I forgot about that," Mercedes said.
"Yes, once I officially sign to a label as an artist I am no longer an amateur and may no longer be employed as an entertainer here."
"It's a stupid rule!" Sugar said, "I'll talk to her. I already broke the no encore rule tonight when I told you to go back out there. You just broke it again and Nani went up there without permission and she doesn't even work here so there goes another rule. Rules were made to be broken, especially when they're stupid. We can just keep breaking them, she's never here anyway!"
"Cal said he'd talk to her as well, but there are no guarantees. It's not a stupid rule. Cal said that some execs from some labels can give her a hard time about working with their talent. She and Cal get along, but if she makes an exception for me she could be opening herself up to problems if she doesn't make the same exception for others. I mean technically she could still allow me to be a waitress but I couldn't imagine being around here and not being able to sing."
Everyone stared back at her sadly.
"Anyway, that's a worry for another day. I just want to say if I have any say in anything, I'm looking at the vocalists standing here right now who will participate on my project, if they don't shelve me until I'm an old fart locking me into a contract but never releasing my music. I'm not an idiot. Their priority is Camille, they've already invested a lot in her. I may be too similar for comfort. I need a lawyer that's going to kick ass going over these contracts."
"I never thought about that," Sam said.
"They wouldn't do that, they loved you," Finn said.
"But they could." Rachel said.
"It could be a smart move. It's the business, kiddos. I may be better off at a competing label, but unless someone steps up with a good offer this is all I have. If it goes down bad I'm out of this job and in a worthless contract."
"Santana, I never thought about all of that if a label came calling for one of us," Kurt said.
"It pays to have evil genius genes, I'm Wolf's kid after all. It may not be the same for you guys, but remember, I was hired first to turn this girl into a mini me. My circumstances are sketchy. Still, if it's real for me it's real for you guys."
"Santana, just worry about yourself," Quinn said.
"I said what I said woman! Now let's get serious for a moment. I love you guys. I love coming to work every day and seeing you and listening to you perform. I don't know if I'm going to be a success or end up waiting tables here again with people snapping pictures covertly of me and putting them online with captions that say 'remember that girl that used to sing that song that they played all of the time on the radio. I just undertipped her for refusing to sing it to me when I asked her to,' but whatever happens you all will always be some of the best friends I've ever had in my life. And when Quinn and Berry finally make sweet sweet love to their favorite track on my album I want somebody here to send me my winnings to my mansion in Beverly Hills that I'm going to blow my first five million dollars on. If you don't, I will send big men in suits to collect it for me, or big women...I don't discriminate."
Santana smiled and Sugar hugged her.
"You're not leaving us until you're ready, Sanny. I'll make sure of it."
"You never have to worry about that. Still, if my run here ends tonight, at least my last song here was with Nani and Mercedes, not a bad finale."
"Not bad at all," Sugar said, refusing to let Santana go.
As the crowd finally started to thin out, convinced that Santana wouldn't pop back onstage and sing another song, Santana finally got to have a moment alone with Wolf.
"Hey Snixx, thanks for making time for me. I just wanted to introduce you to my brothers who came out here to support us, and then I was hoping we could speak in private out in the fresh air for a moment if you can spare the time."
"Sure Wolf, no problem."
Wolf introduced Santana to the men who rained praise down on her. Santana was surprised to learn from the men that Wolf has been showing the men at the clubhouse videos of her singing for years. It truly shocked her, but she could tell it was truthful.
Santana thanked the men for coming out and they congratulated her once again before they said goodnight.
"Ready Snixx?"
"Yeah Wolf, let's roll."
As the walked towards the exit they chatted.
"How's the bike doing, Snixx?"
"It's good. Looks like I might be returning it real soon. Might have a couple of extra dollars in my pocket soon I hope."
"I think you might, Snixx," Wolf said. "You were mesmerizing up there, chiquita. I'm glad your abuela was here to see it, wish your grandma had lived to see it too."
"She saw it, she sees every single one of my performances."
"I know she does, Snixx. Sometimes you remind me so much of her. She was a kick ass woman, man."
"Yes she was."
They stepped into the street and Wolf started walking. All of a sudden Santana stopped in her tracks. Parked next to Wolf's bike was his first bike, the one he had promised Santana so many years ago.
"What the hell Wolf?" Santana asked, shocked.
"You sold your bike for love, and I forgot about the person I love the most in this world when I sold mine. Whatever the cost, I had to get it back and make it right."
"You didn't have to do that, Wolf."
"I did have to do it, Snixx, even if you don't take it I had to do it. Not just offer to do it. I had to make it happen even if I have to end up selling it. It never felt right seeing someone else ride it anyway, especially Chaos's kid. How can your name be 'Chaos' and your son teaches mindfulness and meditation for a living? If you saw this kid you would know that he is like human pussy repellant. No way he could honor that bike like a Lopez can. I know that saddle misses pussy like crazy."
Santana laughed, "I'm sure it does."
"So get her back in the game, Snixx. I had to negotiate with that little douchebag even though he barely rides. Found him another bike, fixed it up, made it all shiny and perfect so he can sit it in his douchebag garage and take it out once a year when his father tries to help get him laid. He got a damn good deal but it was fair, because Chaos let the little tool know that brothers don't try to overcharge one another. He's not a part of our club but his father let him know how it was going to be, and so basically Chaos, as a father, understood what it meant for me to get this bike back. Chaos understands what it's like to go a lifetime without seeing eye to eye with your kid."
"Fuck Wolf," Santana sighed. "Not gonna lie, tonight is a lot. I don't know how to process this right now, and I don't know how to trust you with my heart, and that's just the honest truth. I appreciate it all, really, like I can't even be the asshole that you raised me to be and make light of this, but I can't take this bike, Wolf. I can't take going from you doing the bare minimum for me to buying back bikes I don't even want to know if you can afford or not. After all, you sold it to get your current bike. I don't know your financial situation and I don't need to know."
"It's cool nenita, nothing I couldn't handle. Fuck man, all those years I deprived you of shit when I was really just mad at your mother for leaving me and wanted to make it hard on her I guess. Not proud of it, but been looking at why I did the things I did, and even though I gave her hundreds of good reasons to leave, the truth is I fucking hated her for not staying. I tell myself that I would have changed, would have done something different if I knew it was my last chance, but we both know that I wouldn't have. I didn't help you because I wanted her to need me to make it, and she never did, and all I did was end up hurting you. Snixx, I was the most immature son of a bitch on this planet until the day you walked out on me, and you looked just like your mami while doing it. By the time I got over myself you were gone. You weren't a little girl anymore you were a woman, and as you know I don't do well with the emotions of women. I can't make that shit up to you, Snixx, but I can tell you every day that you let me that I'm fucking amazed and proud at the woman you became, despite having a flaming pile of shit as a father."
Santana was silent. She couldn't respond to all of this right now.
"I hear you, Wolf, appreciate the words, but I can't take that bike. It was hard enough to borrow Cougar's bike after you touched it. This is ten times more mind fucking than that was."
"Sometimes the gift is to the person who gives it not to the person who receives it. It may be selfish, but it's not just for you, Snixx, it's for me, and I wish you hadn't sold your bike. I wish I had gotten you this before and you could have kept both, even though you and your need for speed has always scared the living shit out of me. Still, you loved that bike, the first bike you bought for yourself. You worked hours on that bike. I wanted you to get rid of it on your own terms."
"I did, Wolf. I got rid of it on my own terms. I can't place my love and good memories in an object though, I learned that when you gave that bike away. Took her out on one last ride though, did a few tricks, said my goodbyes. My lady needs me to slow it down and I'm good with that. Not gonna lie though, with all of the money I'm saving and the new money I may be making, I've got some thoughts in my head for another rocket for sure."
Wolf shook his head. "Fuck Snixx, that shit isn't out of your system yet?"
"You're the one who taught me Wolf, riding is where I find my peace, find myself, and sometimes your daughter is a fast ass."
Wolf laughed, "Yeah, I gotta accept you as you are, Snixx, and know that you'll remember to be safe out there."
"I've got too much to lose, you know I will."
"So you're gonna take her Snixx?" Santana paused. "Please Snixx..." Wolf reached out to touch her, but then remembered how she had recoiled at his touch when they argued. He slowly pulled his hand back.
"I don't want us to be like this," Santana sighed, honestly. "I'm tired Wolf..."
"I know Snixx. I don't want this either. Listen, I know your time is precious, but can we go on a ride together, maybe for a weekend, even just an overnight trip. I'll take anything. Not with our clubs, just you and I. I know that I keep asking you for shit, but I need you, nena. You're my inspiration. You're my muse. I'm going to be better even if you don't accept me, because I know it won't mean anything to you if I were doing this just to get you back. I need to change, truly, but there is no denying that you're the catalyst for that change. If I become a better man, the bulk of the credit for that goes to you."
Santana took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
"I'm sorry Snixx...you don't owe me shit, but I'm asking for your help. I'm humbly asking for your help. Teach me nenita. Please. Take the bike."
"Okay..." Santana said quietly. She can't deny she has great memories of that bike. Her father had taken her on many rides on that bike before she got her own, and then side by side with him when she got her first bike. To have him go through the trouble to get it back for her means something, and after the night she's had she just doesn't want to fight the fact that it feels good and that she was glad that Wolf was a part of this magical night.
"Wolf, maybe I did want to punish you, punish you like you wanted to punish my mami, but somehow that was never the agenda. I couldn't do it, because it takes too much fucking energy. I let you go because you took too much fucking energy. If you're not taking my energy, not causing me pain, me holding on to hateful feelings just creates a cloud that blocks the sun in my life. It's so sunny now, Wolf, and even when I hated you I never stopped loving you. So yeah, man, give me the fucking keys, and as a thank you to Cougar if you can help her sell the bike if she wants that would be great. That old ride was a lifesaver. Thank you for making her pretty for me."
Wolf's smile couldn't have been bigger.
"It was my honor and pleasure, Snixx.," Wolf said, daring to try and hug his daughter.
He never felt happier than when she sank into his arms.
They stay that way a moment, before Santana broke free and Wolf felt empty. He doesn't know why he wasted so much time trying to figure out how to behave with her.
All he had to do was love her.
"Keys," Santana said, looking at Wolf with a smirk. The man smiled and handed over the keys. "Ugh, this is the beginning of my elder years," Santana joked, sighing and rolling her eyes, and Wolf laughed.
"It's okay to slow down sometimes, Snixx."
"How's that working out for you, Wolf?" Santana smiled.
"Not bad nenita, not bad at all."
Santana took the keys and walked towards the bike. She stopped and looked at Wolf.
"Jump on old man. Let's take a ride. Loan your kid a brain bucket, mine is with Cougar's bike."
Wolf smiled brightly, "You don't even know if it's street legal," Wolf said, shaking his head. Santana just smiled.
"You've always been an asshole Wolf, but you've also always made sure I was okay out there on the road. If you gave me the keys it's okay, and if you ride next to me it'll be even better. I didn't know a lot of things about us, Wolf, but I knew you would always protect me out on the road. Maybe that's part of the reason I loved it so much."
Wolf had tears in his eyes, "Fuck Snixx, I haven't had tears this much in my eyes in years. You've got me all emotional."
"Don't blame that all on me. I think you're going through pussy withdrawal." Santana snarked and Wolf laughed.
"It's true what everyone says, you're kind of an asshole. One hundred percent my kid." Wolf smiled.
"Fifty percent Wright, Fifty percent Lopez, and yes, one hundred percent your kid," Santana winked as she and Wolf made their way to the bikes.
"Yup, the only right thing I ever did in this life is your mother," Wolf snarked and looked at Santana with a naughty twinkle in his eye that was identical to the girl he walked next to.
"Woah, beating me at my own game I see," Santana smiled.
"I've been an asshole longer, just reminding you of where you learned the game kid."
"Learned more than I realized from you Wolf, and it wasn't all bad."
"Happy to hear that, Snixx." Wolf said seriously.
Wolf handed Santana a helmet and put on his own. Santana turned on her bike and smiled.
"That Harley rumble man, just like I remember it."
"Fucking right, wouldn't give you anything less." Wolf said, turning on his own bike.
"Let's roll," Santana said, riding out into the street. They wouldn't go far. Her entire family was waiting to spend time with her and she didn't want to keep her abuela out too late. Still, Wolf had earned this moment and she wanted this moment, and so she would not deprive herself, not tonight.
Santana and Wolf rode silently around the neighborhood for about 15 minutes before Santana rode back towards the club. This time, though, the silence wasn't deafening. It wasn't creating this huge chasm between them. It was peace, the peace that Wolf taught Santana long ago while riding, that somehow they both now believe will follow them once they turn their bikes off and park them wherever they find themselves. Mateo doesn't feel like a lone Wolf anymore, he has this awesome cub, this kid, that he did everything wrong with and yet she still turned out so right, and Santana has a man that's starting to feel like someone she could one day call papi.
After a short ride Santana returned to the club, and many of the patrons had left as it neared closing time and Santana was able to finally sit peacefully and soak up the love and affection of her family. She told them the story of how she was offered a deal. She told them she was worried if it was all a ruse just to shelf her. She told them every joy and fear she was feeling in the moment. Wolf stayed and took it all in, stayed in a space that he would have normally felt awkward in because of all he had done, stayed because this was his kid and he was never going to leave her again. He only left when it was time for Cougar and Big Momma to say goodnight, when the Angels decided they were ready to roll out, so that he could escort Cougar home with the bike she loaned Santana and then remove Santana's plates to return to her. He said his goodnights to everyone and everyone was surprised when Santana hugged the man goodnight and genuinely thanked him for coming. Soon after the rest of her family left and only Nani remained along with Lexi. With the club closed and the buzz quieting down Santana thought this would be a good time to make Lexi sweat.
"So Nani, Brittany decided to stay home tonight so we could talk about how you're doing after your Kevin drama. You've always been such a supportive cousin, driving all the way up here to see me tonight after the week you've had. I love you for that Nani."
Nani looked at Santana and rolled her eyes.
"Lex, thanks for coming. Do you mind dropping Nani off? I appreciate you bringing her here tonight after the week she's had..."
"Nani and I were planning on hanging out anyway..."
"Oh cool, maybe Britt would like to come too. Are we dancing again?"
Lexi looked at Nani uncomfortably. "Nani, do you mind keeping Brittany company for a few minutes?"
Santana pretended to look at Lexi confused. "You okay Lex?"
"More okay than I've been in a very long time. Let's chat mamacita. Grab us a seat away from prying eyes please."
"Okay," Santana said, feigning concern. Santana walked Lexi back to one of the dressing rooms and locked the door. She didn't want Sugar or anyone else getting interested in seeing the two of them chatting alone so she made sure she could do this without anyone seeing. Santana sat and Lexi followed.
"What's going on, Lex?"
"I wanted to talk to you about Nani..."
"What about her?" Santana asked innocently.
"I've always been a straight shooter with you and I want you to know that the only reason I didn't speak to you about this last week was because I needed Nani to be ready for me to speak to you about this."
"Nani?'
"Yeah, Nani. You know that Nani and I have always appreciated one another..."
"You want to fuck one another," Santana laughed jokingly.
"That's not all we want," Lexi said seriously.
Slowly the smile disappeared from Santana's face.
"Oh shit. Shit," Santana said slowly.
"Last week when I asked if you cared if I dated someone you were close to I wasn't talking about Tiffany, I was talking about Nani."
"Are you serious!" Santana asked angrily and Lexi was caught off guard.
"Yes Santana, I'm serious."
"You and my cousin are fucking behind my back?"
"We're not fucking, Santana, but that's one of the goals eventually, not gonna lie..."
"You're planning on making my cousin one of your many girls?" Santana asked angrily.
"Never with Nani. Wouldn't play with her like that."
"You played with me like that," Santana scoffed.
"Santana, I have seen you literally get another girl's number while we were out spending time alone together and I was fucking paying for the meal," Lexi said exasperated.
Santana found it hard not to laugh at the memory. "And so that means you can fuck my cousin?"
"Santana, what's the real problem here mamacita?" Lexi asked softly.
"Don't you mamacita me tonight."
"You have a girlfriend Santana, remember?"
"Yeah, well she ain't your cousin..."
"No, she's not," Lexi sighed and Santana almost felt bad. "Listen, how do we get past this, because I invited Nani to spend the weekend with me last week and so she plans on staying with me. Now if you need your cousin you know I would never stand in the way but if not we plan to spend some time together and get to know one another better."
"So Nani came to see you, not me?"
"You know she would have come to see you even if I hadn't invited her here first. Santana, you know now more than ever before what we were to one another...best friends. What's your real problem here?"
"Nani isn't made like us Lexi..."
"Do you think you would ever need to tell me not to hurt her, or not to hurt you? I know what hurting her would mean, and I wouldn't do that to either of you or your family. They have been good to me. Besides, when have you ever seen me play with a woman's heart?"
"I've seen girls hurt when they've seen you with other girls..."
"You of all people Santana know that there are always going to be women who think they can change your mind even if you've made it clear what your intentions are with them. I've seen the same thing happen to you."
"What do you want with her, Lexi?"
"I want my forever someone."
Santana just smiled at her for a moment. "Shit Lex, I can't do this anymore," Santana laughed. "I was just fucking with you to get you back for what you did when you made me think we slept together and were going to become a couple, but I've never seen this side of you. It's sweet," Santana smiled. "If you want to have lesbian sex with my allegedly straight cousin it's kind of weird not because what you and I had involved any kind of romantic feelings but weird like Pu and I being with the same woman is strange but I can handle it. Pu will struggle but I think she can handle it too. Just don't tell her that it's strange for me too because it will just make it worse for her to handle. It has nothing to do with romantic feelings so it's nothing that we can't all get over. I told her to talk to Brittany about it..."
"Wait, Nani was in on this?"
Santana laughed.
"Why are the beautiful ones always so damn treacherous?" Lexi shook her head and Santana laughed. "So you're okay with us?
"You knew I would be, Lex. I just never imagined you settling down this quick. I left you the keys to the fucking queendom and you gave them away within a few months. Who are these women going to go to for their orgasms now? It was very irresponsible of you to do this without leaving a successor."
"Your shoes were too big to fill mamacita," Lexi laughed. "Girl it was time. I had a dream I walked into the club on a Saturday night and between you and I we had fucked everyone on the dance floor and the bartender."
"That wasn't a dream, that was last Saturday night," Santana smiled.
Lexi laughed, "When we spoke about you and Brittany I told you then that I was getting tired of the shit. You and I had played girlfriend for one another for so long, we both wanted more. You found it, and I think my more has always been right there with Nani, but she was with Kevin, and before that maybe I was the one who didn't know quite what you and I were and didn't know how to tell you that maybe I was attracted to Nani for more than just sex. Plus, I thought that she was a devoted heterosexual so I didn't allow myself to entertain the thought too much."
Santana smiled, "Maybe not being able to do your normal thing with her gave you time to develop those feelings."
"Maybe, Santana."
"She acts tough, Lexi, but you know..."
"I'll treat her heart like my own, because I want it for myself."
"Have you been hitting her with the Sexy Lexi sweet talk?"
"It's all been genuine, I promise."
"I know that you're a genuine person, Lex."
"Thank you"
"And I also know that you talking that talk is like foreplay for you. So you plan on hitting her with the Sexy Lexi dirty talk this weekend?"
"I'm going to give her all of the time she needs, so that's up to her."
Santana smiled. "I'll help her get past you and I. I'm sorry we ever had the kind of relationship that we did because it has confused so many people."
"Well I'm never going to be sorry about that, Santana. It meant something to me, just not the type of something a lot of people can understand."
"It meant something to me as well, Lexi, and so yeah, sorry is the wrong word. I just wish it didn't cause so much confusion."
"Brittany is getting past it and so will Nani."
"She heard us together," Santana shook her heard.
"She'll forget all about that once she hears she and I together."
Santana laughed. "Let me guess..."
"I'm going to bury my face so far in that thing it's going to look like she's giving birth to me..."
Santana laughed, "Had to leave me with one more image huh?'
"Are you kidding me? You're going to hear my pussy eating descriptions for the rest of your life. You're the best friend I've ever had."
Santana smiled, "You're my best friend too, Lex."
"If you mean that you'll stop fucking with me and let me get your cousin home," Lexi said, standing.
"That sentence should make me want to projectile vomit but after last weekend she deserves a little Sexy Lexy time."
"And a proper time she shall receive. Congrats mamacita. You deserve everything that's happening for you right now," Lexi said, pulling Santana into a hug.
"Thanks for being there Lex, always."
"Thanks for the same, mamacita."
The ladies returned to the table and everyone said their goodnights. Santana took a moment to speak to Nani.
"Thanks for going along with the joke, now we're even," Santana smiled.
Nani just laughed and shook her head.
"Pu, just enjoy yourself this weekend, and if you decide to stop by let me know and we'll talk. Just let go and be free. Don't overthink it, Pu."
"I'll try not to."
"If you feel something, Pu, just feel it. Don't bring me there, or Kevin, or the outside world. You go there and it's just you and Lexi, and the rest will figure itself out. Just do what feels right for you for once in your life, and the rest of the world will just deal with it."
"Kind of like what you did up there tonight, huh?" Nani smiled.
"Kind of, and it felt spectacular, Pu."
"I bet it did."
"So go and let tonight be spectacular, Pu."
"I will, Simon. I'm so proud of you. You were a star up there, Santana. I'm glad others finally get to see what I always knew about you. Seeing you play like that..." Nani said, tears in her eyes.
"My favorite part was when you came up there with me. We have to find a way to do that again."
"Yeah, that was really nice."
"So just let go of what you've heard, and let go of what you think you know, and let Lexi reveal herself to you."
"I will," Nani smiled.
"I love you Pu."
"Love you too Simon."
"Now get out of here, I'm cutting into your Sexy Lexi time."
Nani blushed and Santana couldn't help but smile. It was nice seeing Nani looking forward to spending time with someone again. She just wants to see her happy, she wants to see Lexi happy, and tonight feels like a night where dreams come true.
Santana said goodnight to everyone and then pulled out a chair for Brittany. She sat across from her and smiled.
"Wolf got the bike he promised back for me, it's parked outside."
"Are you serious Santana? That was so sweet."
"Yeah, it really was Britt."
"Now what are you going to do with two bikes?"
Santana smiled. "My bike hasn't been in the shop, I sold it to Lance and Sunshine, partially as a thanks for what they did for us, but mainly because I was planning on selling it anyway."
"Why Santana?" Brittany asked, shocked.
"For me, but mainly for you," Santana smiled.
"What?"
"I know you felt comfortable on that first ride, and then the ride up to Albany on Wolf's hog. I haven't felt you feel as relaxed behind me on anything else we've rode together on, and especially not the bike I had. I love having you behind me, holding on tight but I want you to be relaxed. I want you out there with me, and if that meant I had to sell my bike and save like crazy until I could afford another one then I was going to work my ass off until I got it. Now things have changed. First Cougar loaned me her bike, then I got all of these new money making opportunities, and then Wolf showed up with his old ride. Now I get to save to take us on our first vacation instead, and now I have a bike that I can take Legs out on with the Angels, if I ever find the time to do so these days."
Brittany just stared at her in shock. "I love you so much, Santana. You didn't have to do that for me. You loved that bike."
"I love you more," Santana smiled, "and like I said I did it for me too. I want you with me. It feels like you belong with me out there."
"Take me home Santana. Now." Brittany looked at Santana with more desire than she has ever looked at her before.
Santana saw the look in her eyes and knew that this wasn't a time for jokes or small talk.
"Anything your heart desires, doll," Santana said, looking at Brittany just as intensely. Santana said a quick goodnight to everyone around and took Brittany's hand as they made their way to Santana's new bike.
Santana handed Brittany a helmet and watched as she climbed on the back of Santana's bike for the first time in a dress. She had always been too modest to even consider the thought, the thought of being so bare in her mind in public. Santana had always said that her only problem with riding with a woman in a dress was the lack of protective gear but this night, she has no idea if it's real or not, but she felt Brittany's heat against her as she started the bike and with that Harley rumble it felt like the sexiest thing ever. She just wanted to fuck her right there on her bike, but the feeling, the heat, the anticipation...Santana drove slowly, letting the night build Brittany up, and by the time they reached Santana's place and parked Brittany could hardly wait a moment longer. As soon as the elevator door closed Santana pushed Brittany up against the wall, kissing her slowly, dragging her nails up Brittany's legs. She slowly let her hand go up Brittany's long leg until it grazed her panties, and Santana slid two fingers beneath them and let them discretely run between Brittany's wetness, and Brittany's legs nearly jellied beneath her. Santana held their bodies close, so that the cameras in the elevator could only see the kiss and not what Santana was doing with her hand, and she willed the elevator to finally reach her floor so that the doors could open and Santana could take Brittany the way she wanted to.
As soon as the door opened and Brittany walked inside Santana locked the door and Brittany pulled her into a kiss. Santana let her but not for long, as she took Brittany's hand and guided her to the bedroom. When Brittany reached for the zipper on her dress Santana stilled her hand and gently backed her up to the bed until the mattress hit the back of her knees and she sat. Santana guided her up the bed where she instantly put her hand under her dress and dragged her panties down. She spread Brittany wide and instantly swiped her tongue through her folds, and Brittany's head thrashed violently back into the pillows as she took a deep gasp of air.
Santana could think of no better way to end a perfect night.
After the two were done, after clothing had been shed and sheets left messy, Brittany lay naked in Santana's arms listening to the rhythm of her heartbeat. They lay that way a long time before Brittany spoke.
"You were amazing tonight," Brittany smiled cheekily, knowing that Santana would know what she was talking about but also knowing how she would respond.
"I told you that you would say that to me with your clothes off one day," Santana smiled.
Brittany laughed before sighing, getting serious.
"So much has changed for me since I've met you."
"For me as well, Britt."
"Do you think we can still go to Ohio next week?"
"I wouldn't change that for the world."
"I have to do this while I still have the courage."
"Okay love. We will do this tomorrow if you wanted. Anything you want Britt."
"The timing is bad for you, you have so much going on..."
"I have nothing going on that's more important than you."
"What my mother said, I guess it did bother me a little."
"Of course it did honey, you're human and that's your mother."
"But more than anything it angered me. I just know what she says holds no real weight with me anymore, and I know that even though she will try to hurt me I'm going to be okay because I have you now. I just wish she could love me like a normal mother loves her daughter."
"I'm sorry Britt but you're right, you have me now, and you have my family and friends. They all really do love you."
"Still, it's my mother. I'm not going to get a happy ending with her, though. It's not the same as you and Wolf."
"As much as I want to rush into believing in Wolf the past has told me to be cautious with him."
"Still, you know it's not manipulation, you know it's a genuine effort with him even if he goes back to his old ways and fails. I've been raised by a gaslighting narcissist."
"I'm sorry, Britt."
"Just be there for me, Santana. Something happens to me when I'm around her, I'm not the person you've come to know. I can't be her around my mother. I can't let my guard down. It's why I have to surprise her, to just show up and gather my things and go. I can't announce that I'm coming or she will start plotting. She can't suspect anything." Brittany sounded scared.
"You said your aunt lives a couple of hours away..."
"I don't want to involve anyone else."
"Britt, maybe think about it. Maybe even think about reaching out to your father. Maybe we need to use every resource to get you through this. Just think about it, okay?"
"Okay Santana."
"Good, now get some rest and let me think on this. Let me see if there is anything we can plan that will make this easier."
"Okay honey. I love you Santana."
"Te amo, Brittany."
Nani and Lexi were both in a great mood. It had been a really good night for Santana, and now the rest of this weekend belonged to them. While Nani had arrived the night before she had settled comfortably into Lexi's guest room. They shared dinner that night and talked and watched tv and basically got comfortable with sharing space alone together. The morning of Santana's performance Nani woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking, fresh coffee brewing and Lexi in the kitchen, a tank top and boy shorts which Nani found oddly adorable. They spent the day calmly together, trying hard to ignore the crackle that existed between them, which was becoming increasingly hard to do. The best part of it was that all of those long phone conversations, those new revelations they were learning about one another, they got to do that in person. It wasn't long before Nani was making them lunch, which they shared together and cleaned up together before retreating to the couch, where somehow Nani's feet landed in Lexi's lap, which Lexi took great pleasure in rubbing until Nani's head fell back into the cushions, a relaxed look on her face, and Lexi looked at her like she was looking at her for the first time and realizing just how majestic this woman was.
By the time they left to see Santana's performance it hadn't even felt like they had spent an entire day in the house. Nani had been in New York for 24 hours and they hadn't touched in a romantic way, hadn't kissed. They just existed, together, and avoided any tough topics. It was one of the best days that Lexi has had in a long time.
But things felt different on the ride home. Lexi should have known that Nani seemed far more relaxed than when they had spent the day together. The weight of Santana wasn't with her, and yet Lexi didn't know why she seemed okay, she was just happy that she was. Lexi had to admit that she felt so much better as well now that Santana knew. She knew that Santana wouldn't mind, but she also knew that she was keeping an important secret from her best friend, and she and Santana had never done that with one another. It felt unnatural. This was so much better.
Lexi also knew that the night would be hard, because she wanted Nani so bad. When Nani went up on that stage with Santana and backed her up, backed her up as fiercely as she always had, she thinks she could have taken her right there on that stage. It's always been one of the sexiest things about Nani to her, the way she was so loyal, so protective, so strong. So present, so constant, so reliable and dependable. Lexi didn't have that. Everyone in her family and some friends shunned Lexi when she came out. Lexi had nobody but the few friends she could couch surf with occasionally, and an old Toyota that was her home. Washing up at school early before her first class or in some restaurant bathroom. Mastering the art of finding a safe place to sleep where the cops wouldn't chase her off or she didn't have to worry about someone trying to rape her. Finally finding another job that she could work along with her first job and working, working, working her ass off until she could rent a room, and then an apartment, and finally she could buy a house. Security... she had to find that for herself. Discovering the magic of mylar sleeping bags on cold nights and the importance of being near somewhere that she could procure free cold water on hot nights. Always, always looking presentable and keeping perfect hygiene, because people don't deny you a courtesy cup of water in a restaurant or the use of their bathroom when you do. She learned, because she was alone. She learned something different when she met Santana. Santana and Nani are cut from the same cloth. Santana's loyalty to her as a friend is what solidified their friendship, but Nani's fervor in the way she defended Santana, there was something about it that subconsciously drew her to Nani like a moth to a flame. She loves that Nani makes it feel as if it's okay to hold someone close to you in this world and not worry that they will find it way too easy to ever let you go.
By the time they reached the house they had recapped the night and rejoiced in it. Lexi pulled out a bottle of wine and brought two glasses to the couch. She poured one for Nani and one for herself and toasted to the perfect night.
"You look radiant," Lexi smiled softly at Nani as she took a small sip of her wine.
"Thank you, so do you," Nani replied.
"Long day, are you tired, star?"
"Not at all, actually," Nani replied.
"You were sexy up there tonight."
"I was up there for 5 minutes and barely did anything," Nani laughed.
"I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. I never can."
"What am I going to do with you?"
"What do you want to do with me, star?" Lexi asked, and Nani just looked into her eyes before her eyes fell briefly to Lexi's lips. Lexi took Nani's glass and set them both on the table.
"I'm gonna kiss you now, is that okay?" Lexi asked.
"Yes," Nani breathed out quietly, her heart beating so violently that Lexi could almost hear it. Lexi lifted her hand and placed it tenderly over Nani's heart and Nani placed her hand on top of Lexi's.
'It's okay, star. You have nothing to worry about with me, ever."
"It's not you, I promise."
Lexi wanted to help Nani sort it out with words, but words would not do. There were no words in this moment, just feelings. Nani needed to feel, not think. Words make you think. What Lexi wanted to do to her, how far things would go with her...well that all depended on what Lexi felt like doing, and how those things made Nani feel. She had no plan in her head, she just wanted to touch her, touch her how lovers do. She wanted to kiss her, taste her, drive her mad, soothe her, heal her. She wanted to make her feel.
Lexi leaned in slowly and pressed soft lips against Nani's. Nani doesn't know why but she inhaled deeply before parting her lips. She wasn't lying when she told Lexi that all of the air leaves the room when she enters, she gets lightheaded, dizzy with desire, but never before like she is now. It's real now. This kiss, this kiss took her breath away before it even started, before she parted her lips and granted her access, before Lexi kissed her slowly, so slowly and perfectly and with something so much more than hunger and desire. She kissed her with reverence. She had never been kissed like this, and when she finally felt herself letting go, when she finally began truly feeling instead of thinking, it was as if Lexi had known her forever. Lexi had to have known, as she wrapped her arms tightly around Nani, one around her waist and the other beneath her thigh and ass, strongly pulling Nani onto her lap to straddle her.
They kissed that way for some time, Nani wrapping her arms around Lexi's neck and eventually tangling her fingers in her soft hair, and when Nani finally moaned into the kiss it was like a call to action for Lexi. She wrapped one arm tightly around Nani's waist and the other beneath her ass, and she stood in one swift motion, carrying Nani with her.
Nani gasped at the action and broke the kiss, looking at Lexi who smiled.
"Never expected you to be able to do that," Nani said.
"I find the strength I need in life when I'm motivated, star, and I am highly motivated right now."
"Were you planning to carry me all the way upstairs?"
"That would take me quite a bit of time, but my office is right there, and the daybed is wonderful in there. Very roomy."
"Or you can put me down and save your strength for the bedroom."
"I will have all the strength I need and more for you, star."
Nani's voice dropped low and her eyes got dark. "Put me down Lexi, so I can take you to your bed and you can show me how a champion lover pleases a woman."
Lexi instantly began to release her grip on Nani, who smiled seductively before taking Lexi's hand and leading her up the stairs. When they reached Lexi's bedroom she smiled as she pulled her shirt over her head and smiled at the way Lexi's eyes dropped unashamedly to her breasts.
"Jah," Lexi whispered as Nani smiled at the way Lexi had called upon her Higher Power at the sight of her. Next, Nani reached for the button on her pants, slowly sliding the zipper down. She hooked her thumbs into the sides of her pants and slowly dragged them down her legs. She kicked off her shoes and stepped out of her pants as Lexi took a moment to take her in, standing there in the tiniest underwear she thinks she has ever seen, and Lexi has seen a lot of women in tiny underwear.
"You're beautiful, star, always knew that, but you're sexy too. So fucking sexy..." Lexi said, removing her own shirt and pants to reveal equally skimpy underwear.
And then there were no more words. Lexi had a promise to keep. Her mission, to make Nani come, and then make her come again, and again, and maybe again.
While Lexi just wanted to go down on her forever she would save that treat for later. Nani deserved to be worshipped. She deserved foreplay and afterplay and she especially deserved everything in between. The one thing Lexi was sure of is that she knew how to please a woman. She knew what a woman wanted sometimes before they even articulated it. She knew when to pick up the pace and slow it down to the point that it would drive a woman crazy. She knew when to talk dirty and when to talk sweet. She knew how to listen to their body. There was a reason Santana called her Sexy Lexi, and it wasn't just her looks.
Lexi wrapped her arm around Nani's waist and guided her up the bed. She used her knee to spread Nani's legs apart wide and she climbed on top of her, kissing her slowly. She loved the way her knees fell apart, waiting, wanting for something, but for now all Lexi would do was kiss her, and feel the heat between her legs rise as if molten lava existed there.
Lexi worked on Nani's bra, removing it, kissing at her breasts tenderly, running her tongue across the area where the garment had restricted her for the day, soothing her, before taking one breast into her mouth and running her tongue over Nani's nipple then sucking softly as she did so, feeling her nipple peak. She ran her other hand up Nani's body and manipulated the other breast with it, and she felt Nani's hands softly rub her back as she moaned out loud. Hearing Nani do that was almost enough to make Lexi come before they even got started.
Nani's brain had a hard time functioning. Here she was, surrendering to Lexi, her friend, her cousin's lover, a woman, and none of it mattered right now. None of it, because all she could do was feel, feel like she's never felt before, turned on beyond belief. Anytime a thought tried to take root in her mind Lexi would move her body, move her tongue, and Nani was instantly brought back to this space, present, and trying not to explode before they even got started. It was the way Lexi's knee kept grazing her sex, teasing her, that was driving her mad. It was only a moment later when she felt Lexi's hand leave her breast and slowly make it's way down her body, her mouth covering the breast her hand just left and finally she felt Lexi's hand cup her sex.
There it was again, the air leaving the room, and Nani sucked in deeply, as if her body needed to remember how to breathe. Lexi kissed her neck and then looked at Nani as if seeking permission to give her more, although she already knew that she would be granted it. They locked eyes as Lexi slowly pushed her panties aside with one finger, stroking her wetness but not entering between her folds, not yet. She softly stroked where her sensitive bundle of nerves lie beneath her folds and Nani's breath quickened.
"Do you want me, star?"
Nani bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head affirmatively.
"Say it baby," Lexi said, her fingers slipping slightly between her folds, toying with her wetness.
"I want you," Nani rasped softly and Lexi opened her up a little more.
"Say my name, Nani," Lexi said her fingers stroking her and making her wetter by the second.
"I want you, Lexi," Nani said, and Lexi slowly slid one finger inside of her. Nani tightened around her and Lexi swallowed hard.
"I want you too, Nani, more than anyone, ever," she said, as she slid slowly in and out of her. "Fuck, you feel amazing, and you look beautiful this way." Lexi wanted to kiss her, but she didn't want to stop looking at her. She had to look at her to know that it wasn't a dream. Even Lexi was just realizing how long she has waited for this moment, how much she's wanted it. Lexi was realizing that as badly as she wants to fuck this woman, she can't help but to make love to her with her whole heart in this moment, and the scary thing is that the thought of that doesn't scare her.
Finally Lexi kissed her, kissed her so softly Nani thought she would melt, and as she built her up Nani couldn't help but moan as Lexi moved down to pay attention to her breasts. Those soft moans, the way she felt Nani's fingers tangle in her soft hair, Lexi was slowly losing her mind.
Lexi slowly added another finger and curled and Nani let out the most delicious moan. Her hand tangled tightly in her hair while the other hand clawed at nothing until finding the sheets and bunching them together just so she had something to hold on to. Lexi worked her, rained kisses all over her until she felt Nani flutter around her and have the gentlest orgasm. Her breaths were short, sharp and she whimpered softly, her eyes squeezed shut, and if Lexi didn't feel the rush of wet heat in her hand she may not have even known that it happened.
"You okay, star?" Lexi asked, kissing her on her ear.
"Mmm Hmm" Nani shook her head and bit down on her lip, eyes closed, almost feeling strangely too shy to open her eyes and look at Lexi.
"Okay then," Lexi said, as she made her way down Nani's body and swiped her tongue over Nani's sex through her panties. Nani gasped out loud and Lexi became more aroused at the taste of her through her underwear.
Lexi slowly dragged the garment down her legs and wasted no time spreading Nani's legs apart.
"Beautiful," Lexi breathed out before tasting Nani for the first time. She took her time, cherishing the taste, the scent, the softness of her. She licked, and hummed, and sucked at her clit before finally adding two fingers and rubbing her clit with her thumb, sending Nani over the edge.
It wasn't gentle this time, it was violent, as Nani's knees locked around Lexi's ears. Lexi tasted her, drinking in her wetness, and tenderly bringing her down with soft licks and kisses until the perfect storm passed. Once it did Lexi climbed up the bed and held her close.
"Have you ever tasted yourself on a woman's lips before?" she asked, looking intently at Nani once she caught her breath.
"No," Nani breathed out slowly and Lexi leaned in and kissed her, kissed her slowly and passionately, sucking her tongue, exploring her mouth, until Nani's mouth was filled with the taste of herself.
Lexi bit gently down on Nani's lower lip before breaking the kiss and pulling her close. She kissed her softly on the forehead and let her hand tenderly stroke up and down her body. They lay that way for a while before Lexi broke the silence.
"Are you okay, star?"
"I am," Nani smiled.
"What are you thinking about?" Lexi asked.
"Can't think right now," Nani said and both women chuckled.
"Good, then I'm doing my job."
"Yes you are."
"That was nice," Lexi smiled.
"It was, and how can I return the favor?"
"Funny you should ask," Lexi smiled, as she moved to position herself so that their sexes could meet. She showed Nani how to move with her and when she came Nani looked at her and thought it was the most wonderful thing she's ever seen.
"Don't stop," Lexi breathed as her movements became choppy and Nani stopped moving. "Bring me back down, star" Lexi said, and Nani found how communicative she was to be so sexy.
"I've got you," Nani said and she moved against Lexi until she got her second wind, and when Lexi found her strength and pulled her in tighter, thrusting down into her Nani cried out loudly before an orgasm tore through her and she felt like she didn't have another drop in her to give that night.
"Poo-yie," Nani exclaimed, and Lexi looked at her quizzically. Nani chuckled.
"It's a Cajun thing...basically means holy shit," Nani smiled.
"Well poo-yie then, because I feel the same way."
Nani crawled back into Lexi's arms and they relaxed that way for a while.
"You're really beautiful," Nani finally sighed and Lexi smiled.
"So are you, but you don't look completely ravished yet star, and until you do my work isn't done."
Lexi sat up and reached in her drawer and pulled out her harness.
"Are you up for a grand finale?" Lexi asked, eyebrow raised.
"You're a champion lover indeed, cher," Nani smiled.
"Not sure I'll have another chance with you,"
"I'm pretty sure that you will," Nani smiled.
"So does that mean you've had enough for the night?" Lexi asked, pausing from putting on the harness.
"I didn't say all of that, cher," Nani smiled, and Lexi smiled right along with her, continuing to complete the task at hand.
Santana and Brittany spent the weekend together planning. Nani and Santana promised to talk when Nani got back to Philadelphia since Santana wanted her to focus on seeing how things would go with Lexi. Santana knew that Nani wanted to spend some time with Santana to sort out her thoughts and also to celebrate with her, but she also wanted her to not have her to run to in order to hide from her feelings. Santana is pretty sure that Nani will be leaving her job at the end of the school year and moving back to New York no matter what happens with Lexi. When she returned to Philadelphia with Kevin she rented herself a hotel room for the week and searched frantically for a short term rental. She was able to find a furnished apartment in a building in an area where mostly college students rented but it was okay. It was small, had a gym, decent security, and so she could deal with it for a few months. The rent was manageable, far cheaper than a hotel, and she was free, free to start her new life without having to look Kevin in the eye every night. The timing actually turned out to be perfect, being that she would be able to move in on December 1st which was less than a week after Thanksgiving. She felt happy, and free, even if she hadn't started lining up work for the next school year.
Santana had promised to help Nani move into her new place, but that was before Brittany wanted to make the trip to Ohio. She's pretty sure that Lexi will be happy to help, and mainly Santana knows that she just doesn't want to do it alone. She hopes she can find a way to be there, but if not, Brittany needs her more, and she knows that Nani would want her to go to Ohio more than she would want her to help her pack her life up in Philadelphia. Santana has a feeling that after this weekend Lexi will be a more than appropriate choice for the job.
Santana called management and asked for two days off from the club. She just had too much to get done. She picked up the new contracts and handed them over to her lawyer on Monday morning and she had to waitress at the club on Monday night. When she showed up for work that night the place seemed to still be buzzing from her performance the previous Saturday night. Sugar stopped her as soon as she walked through the door and called her over to the bar.
"Sanny, have you been online?"
"Not really. Why?"
"Your video from Saturday is up, it has over 98,000 views."
"Get the fuck out of here," Santana said, shocked.
"Your other videos are getting lots of views too. The comments are really great."
"I don't want to see them, not yet."
"Why not?"
"Not yet Sugar." Santana was just gaining her confidence. She had been debating for a year whether to even let anyone know that she's been learning piano and guitar. Most of her instruction has been online with some lessons along the way when she first started. Once she learned the basics she was self taught, playing at least an hour a day on each instrument no matter what. She was shocked at how she was picking it up, but nervous. She never felt good enough. Now over 98,000 people have seen her play, people who have played for years who will critique her technique and all of that other mumbo jumbo when she just wants to sound good. No, she doesn't want to hear what 98,000 people have to say about her left handed technique and how Jimi Hendrix did it better. She just wants to enjoy music for herself for a little while longer.
"People have been calling to find out the next time you'll be performing. I spoke to Holly about you staying, she said she'll talk to you this week. If she doesn't let you stay I'm boycotting this place."
"As if she would miss you pouring half her inventory into a single glass every night."
"The customers love me!"
"Yes they do Suge," Santana chuckled. "I'm not performing this week Sugar, taking a couple of days off. Just have them look at the website for scheduled performances. If I get to perform here again it won't be like Saturday and I'm afraid they'll be disappointed. You better let the people know if I perform again it's going to be like the 50 other videos I have up there and not the one from Saturday night."
"You have to perform at least once this week Santana. You have momentum Holly said."
"Don't know about all of that, Sugar. Just tell the social media guy to play up the other acts online, and let them see what sort of club this is. That was a one night only thing. I don't know what possessed me to even do that," Santana said, her nerves taking over. She suddenly was glad that she was taking the week off from performing. She had to get past this self doubt about evolving as an artist.
"But Holly said that you were performing on Wednesday," Sugar pouted.
"I'll talk to Holly, I put in for a few days off. Meantime, I don't want to see any videos," Santana said, getting ready for her shift to start.
The night was hectic, more people than usual for a Monday night, and Santana was stopped by a lot of patrons congratulating her on her performance. She was midway through her shift when two men were seated in her section. When she came over to take their order they introduced themselves.
"Santana Lopez?", the man asked.
"Yes?" Santana answered.
"My name is Dennis Lawson and this is my associate Gabriel Phillips. We're with ANAM records. We saw your performance online. Was wondering if we could have a word with you?"
"Sure, if you let me take your order first. Then I'll take my break if you have a few minutes to spare."
"Of course, that will be fine," Dennis replied and Gabriel smiled at her as she took their drink orders.
"Ok, I'll be right back. Thank you for your patience."
"Not a problem, Santana," Dennis replied.
Santana put in for her break and finished serving her area. About 15 minutes later she returned to the table and greeted the men.
"Do you have time to take a seat?" Gabriel asked.
"I do," Santana answered.
"Saw your performance online. You were wonderful." Dennis said.
"Thank you"
"Listen, we were hoping that we could invite you down to our offices to speak about a business opportunity." Gabriel added.
"What sort of business opportunity?" Santana asked.
"The opportunity to record for us, a commercial jingle at first, perhaps leading to an actual deal. Do you happen to have an agent, Santana?" Gabriel said.
"No, no I don't, but I have a lawyer."
"You may want to consider getting one. Have any other labels approached you aside from the one on Saturday night?" Dennis asked.
"I've had some interest," Santana answered cautiously.
"Do you mind sharing with whom?" Gabriel asked.
"My attorney says I should keep that under wraps for now, but a major label is involved." The lawyer told her no such thing. It was just something she felt like she needed to keep a mystery until she spoke to him again. She never expected for anyone else to be interested.
"Not surprising. Look. We won't keep you. Here is my card" Dennis said, handing Santana his card. "As you know we're a major label as well. We don't know how we might compare to your mystery offers but we are nothing to sneeze at."
"You certainly aren't," Santana said. "Trust me I'm very excited, I'm just cautious by nature. This business can be brutal." Santana answered honestly.
"It can be, but I assure you we have our artists best interests at heart. Speak to Holly about us, talking to her might be helpful." Gabriel said.
"Thank you," Santana answered. "Is it okay if I give you a call after I've had the opportunity to speak with her?"
"That would be wise." Dennis answered.
"Okay then," Santana said, tucking the card into her pants pocket, "I better get back to work, that is if you're done with me for now."
"We are, and we hope to hear from you soon." Gabriel said.
"You will, I promise." Santana said, standing and shaking the men's hands. "Hope you stick around for a while, some very talented vocalists will be performing tonight. Since you're already here, you never know what you might find that you weren't even looking for."
The men smiled. "I think we can stay a while," Dennis answered before Santana said her goodnights. For as cool as she was trying to act a lot was happening for her very quickly, and even as stressed out as Brittany was about going back to Ohio, Santana saw it as a welcome distraction.
The week seemed to fly by, and Santana took the time to call Holly about her second offer. Holly told her that the pair were worth a proper sit down, but that she should try and bring a lawyer with her to help her determine what the best deal would be. Santana didn't know where she would be getting all of the money for these lawyers. Turns out to be a bigger blessing that Wolf came through with that bike.
So Santana called her lawyer and then she called the label and set up a meeting for the following Monday. Everything was happening so quickly, and she already had her first offer sitting in the lawyer's office. Life was about to get interesting.
Santana didn't perform that week, even though Holly wanted her to perform at least once. Holly could hear during the phone call that Santana was overwhelmed, and so she cut her a break. By the time Thursday rolled around and Santana and Brittany were both packed and going to pick up the van they rented Santana couldn't wait to start the nine and a half hour drive to Ohio.
Brittany spent the night with Santana, and Nani volunteered to check in on Lady Tubbington for Brittany. Santana hadn't really had the time to talk to her other than to tell her about her latest offer but Nani sounded happy and it was a good sign that she wanted to come to New York again for the weekend. She had the feeling that Nani would be staying with Lexi again. She can't wait to hear how things are going. For now, she's giving Nani time to process things. She understands that the situation is too fragile to tease her about. She can wait until they're solid before she teases them both.
Brittany seemed stressed as they pulled out during the early morning hours on Friday. Since the hotel had a 3 pm check in time they left at 5am, hoping to get there shortly after check in and get settled in before going to Brittany's mother's house on Saturday morning. Brittany wanted a good night's rest before she showed up. Santana felt horrible for the blonde. She looked so stressed out. Santana had never seen her like this, not even when she had told her about the pictures. What had this woman put her through?
It was okay, because even though Brittany didn't have any help Santana had decided that if this woman made life difficult for Brittany she would be hiring Lance to dig up everything he could on a few people. She was not above fighting fire with fire. Lance knew how to bury things, and Santana was sure that he knew how to find things if he had to. She really hopes it doesn't come to that, but she is prepared just in case.
Then there is her newfound relationship with Wolf, who has friends in high and low places. She would not normally ask the man for anything, but for Brittany, she gladly would.
Santana and Brittany were three hours into the drive when they decided to stop for some breakfast and to change drivers. Brittany barely ate, while Santana just tried to soothe her increasing nerves. Santana felt sad inside. Seeing your mother shouldn't make you feel his way.
Santana decided on getting some sleep and just leaving Brittany to think. This was the Brittany she had first met, closed off and untrusting. The closer they got to Ohio the more the blonde she had come to know disappeared. Santana hopes she gets what she needs out of this, because she never wants to bring her back to this place.
After stopping for a light lunch and changing drivers for the home stretch, Brittany finally got some rest as Santana drove peacefully, pulling into the hotel parking lot and gently waking Brittany.
"Hey doll, we're here."
Brittany opened her sleepy eyes and took a look around.
"Want to wait here while I get us all checked in?" Santana asked. Santana had suggested that they rent the room in her name in case things go bad. She doesn't want Brittany's mother popping up when they're supposed to be best friends. While they could have simply instructed the hotel to keep things confidential Brittany didn't want any mistakes, and so she simply allowed Santana to rent the room for them.
"Okay. I just need a minute. I'll grab the bags."
"Nope, got 'em," Santana said, grabbing the two small bags and dragging them towards the hotel entrance.
Santana checked them in and then turned towards Brittany who had locked the van and joined her in the lobby.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just tired."
"Okay then let's get upstairs and get some rest, we've got an early morning tomorrow."
The women went upstairs and Santana could tell Brittany was just emotionally drained. She just kicked off her shoes and slipped out of her clothes and into a nightshirt. She crawled under the covers and closed her eyes.
"Britt, you want me to lay with you doll?"
"If you want to."
Santana removed her clothes and slipped on a tank top and a pair of night shorts. "Let me hold you. I'm going to love you through this, I promise. You're okay. You're okay because I won't let anyone hurt you, Britt."
"Okay Santana"
Santana held her tight in the little spoon position. It took her some time to realize that Brittany was crying.
"Honey, are you that afraid of this woman?" Santana asked sympathetically.
"That's not it, Santana."
"So what is it, love?"
"This could be the last time I ever come home. This may be the last time I ever see my mother or my step father or my old home. This may be the last time I come to Ohio period."
"Honey, it doesn't have to be. We get your things and you can decide after that."
"It has to be, Santana. Barring a miracle, it has to be."
"Ok doll, then it has to be. It's better than having her knock down your self esteem every time you speak to her."
"I know"
"You don't deserve that Britt, and no matter what you have to give up not to deal with that it will be worth it."
"I know Santana"
"Okay. So tonight we can go out to dinner or I'll order us something, and in the morning we get up and have our breakfast and we go get your things. That's all you have to commit to right now. Let's take one step at a time. Tomorrow you show up with the your best friend and you grab your things. That's all."
"Sorry you have to hide who you are for me."
"I am not required to scream from every rooftop that I'm a lesbian. I am also your best friend. We're not lying, we're just keeping our business to ourselves."
"You're proud of who you are, Santana. I'm proud of who you are."
"And nothing will change that. If your mother is anything like you say she is she will find out about me. She will find out about us. I just hope you're back in New York by the time she finds out so that she can't make you miserable for it."
"You're right, Santana."
"So stick to the plan. We pop up, we load up your boxes, which hopefully contain many more of those teeny tiny dance costumes like the one you wore to karaoke because if they do, oh baby! Anyway, we load up your stuff and we leave this podunk town in the rear view mirror."
Brittany laughed. "Okay Santana. I'm going to do this."
"And we don't have to stay until Sunday. If we get everything you need we can hit the road right after. The goal is to get your things first and foremost. If you want I'll try and keep her distracted while you gather your things. I'm pretty good at being distracting when I want to."
Brittany smiled. "Thank you Santana."
"You're my love, I'd do anything for you," Santana said with the cutest little smile, and Brittany at that moment had no idea how she was going to be able to hide her feelings for this women from the people who have known her all of her life.
The night was peaceful, with Santana ordering dinner for them and the two finally showering and staying in to sleep. That night Brittany rained Santana's face with soft kisses as they lay together, to make up for all of the times she wouldn't be able to touch her that weekend. Santana thought it was sweet. Really, she didn't mind keeping Brittany's secret, she didn't mind because she hoped that Brittany would never want to see these people again, and one moment in the closet for Brittany's peace was okay with her.
The next morning the women showered and dressed and had their breakfast, and by 10 am they were out the door, driving the half hour to Brittany's house. There were closer hotels but Brittany didn't want to be that close to her. She needed to feel like she had a safe distance between them.
Soon Brittany turned into a quiet middle class neighborhood with well maintained two story homes. After driving a short distance more Brittany pulled into the driveway of a nice quiet home behind a silver SUV.
"That's my step father Stan's car, I don't see my mom's car."
"Maybe that's a good thing."
"I won't get my hopes up. If she's not home she won't be too far away, probably the market."
"Still, if you want peace going through your room or whatever..."
"Shouldn't have anything in there really, all of my stuff should be packed up in the basement. Just my trophies and ribbons may be spread out throughout the house."
"Ok Pierce, let's do this."
Brittany rang the doorbell even though she still had a key. This wasn't home anymore, she didn't want to just walk in.
Stan looked at the app on his phone to see who was at the door. He could barely believe who it was.
"Who is it?" he asked cautiously. He didn't want to say her name and go to the door for a stranger in his state.
"It's Brittany, Stan" Brittany answered and the man smiled widely.
"Brittany! Do you have your key? Would be quicker than me getting up."
"Sure Stan. I have a friend with me."
"It's okay. Come on in."
Brittany dug her keys out of her bag and entered the home. Santana followed Brittany as she made her way to the family room. She was shocked at the sight of Stan, covered in a big blanket and sitting up on the chaise lounge that he had clearly been lying on before.
The man looked frail, and while Brittany knew he was struggling with cancer she didn't know it was like this. She only spoke to him briefly when she would call home, and while they weren't close the man had been kind to her while raising her, and for that she was thankful. Brittany could understand why he wouldn't mention that he was in such a decline. What she didn't understand was why the hell would her mother not tell her that he was doing this bad.
Brittany went over and hugged the man a little longer than normal and then kissed the man.
"Stan, what's going on with your chemo?"
"Fighting the good fight Brittany."
"I'm sorry I haven't come to visit much," Brittany said.
"I understand," Stan replied. He knew that he was married to a bitch. "You're here now, and it's a wonderful surprise," the man said trying to prop himself up a little taller which reminded Brittany that Santana was in the room. The sight of him had shocked her so badly she forgot to introduce the two.
"Stan, this is my best friend in the world, Santana. Santana, this is my stepfather, Stan."
"Glad to meet you, young lady. Please excuse me for not standing," Stan said as he reached out his hand for Santana to shake. Santana shook the man's hand and smiled at him.
"Please, don't worry about it. Nice to meet you sir."
"I'm glad Brittany's making friends out there in New York, making a life for herself. I'm happy for you Brittany."
"Thank you, Stan."
"So what brings you back home?"
"Oh, Santana had to make a trip to Louisville to see an old friend and I thought I'd tag along and finally move the rest of my things to New York. I'm sure mom would love the space."
"I don't know if she complains to you about it or not but I doubt it bothers her. Your mother never goes down there. That's always been my space."
"I know, but maybe you can have your space back then."
"Don't have much use for it these days," the man said sadly, and Brittany knew he was talking about his health.
"But you will again, Stan."
"I should hope so."
"Where's mom?"
"Shopping, running errands, escaping me for a while, although she may have seen you ring the doorbell from her phone and if that's the case she'll be making her way home shortly."
"Well if that's the case do you mind if I start grabbing things before she gets here and starts over supervising everything."
Stan laughed. "That might be a good idea."
Brittany thought she would grab her trophies and ribbons first, her years of accolades from dance, gymnastics, cheerleading and math awards. There were more than she thought and so she just started going room by room and placing them in the boxes that Santana had gone to the van to get. They would just wrap it all up at the hotel.
Brittany had gone room by room, even into her mother's room with Stan's permission, to grab the things most precious to her. She felt like she was escaping an abusive relationship and she was. Stan thought so as well and he was secretly glad for her, although he wondered if this might be the last time he saw the woman he helped to raise. It made him sad but truthfully he wasn't sure he was going to win this battle he was fighting and he always said life would become a hell Brittany had never known when he was gone and Gail had no one else to focus on. Brittany was hoping that she didn't find anything in her mother's room and she didn't. Then she went up to her old room which was mainly cleaned out except for a few more awards and trophies. She boxed them up and carried them out to the van before she and Santana headed down to the basement to get the boxes that she had down there.
They were moving with a purpose. They had been there an hour and Brittany thought it would be a wonderful blessing to have the van totally packed by the time her mother returned. What Brittany didn't know was that Stan had turned off the cameras for motion and viewing the moment she had rung the doorbell, and while he expected Gail to call or come home the moment she noticed at the very least it would buy Brittany some time and privacy.
Amazingly they were able to load all of the boxes before Gail returned, and once finished Santana moved the van down the street for two reasons...one, to free up Gail's parking spot and two, so that Gail wouldn't know what they were driving just yet. Once Brittany assured Stan that she was sure she had all that she needed, including many of the paintings she had painted and some pictures of her throughout the years, Stan turned the cameras back on. The women had been there for two hours and this is what Brittany secretly had hoped for, the element of surprise. She knew her mother worked during the week but she didn't want to be obvious about what she was doing and draw her wrath by showing up while she was at work. She also knew that Saturday was her errand day and that she would have some peace if she timed things right, but she never imagined 2 hours and counting now.
"Stan, is she usually gone this long?" Brittany asked.
"These days, yes, she can be. Being a caretaker doesn't exactly come naturally to her."
"But are you okay when she's gone?"
"I'm okay Brittany. I need my peace as much as she needs hers."
Nobody understood that more than Brittany.
"What can I do for you while I'm here, Stan? Can I at least make you lunch or I can run out and get it for you."
"I do miss your cooking," Stan smiled.
"So tell me what I can get you, Stan. I'll be glad to make whatever you want."
"I really miss your shepherd's pie."
"Would you like me to make you one?"
"Appetite's not so good today, sadly."
"How about I do some shopping and make you one? Looks like I'm not going to catch up with mom right now anyway. I'll go buy everything I need to make it for you and I'll come back tonight and cook it for you. How does that sound?"
"Sounds wonderful. I'm sure that wonderful smell will help encourage my appetite."
"Great, so I'm going to leave now and let you rest while you have the place to yourself. I promise I'll be back at around 4 to start dinner for you. Hopefully I'll get to see mom then."
"She should be back by then," Stan replied. "Listen, Brittany. I'm happy to see you, really. I wish..."
"I know, Stan."
"I wish I could have been a better step dad to you. Wish I could have become an actual dad to you. I wanted to, you know. I wanted to bond more with you. I was really proud of you with the dancing and the cheerleading and especially the math, but I won't lie, I know that would have made things harder for you with your mother. Would have made things harder for me, too. She's got some good in her, but when that other side comes out it always catches you off guard."
"I know Stan. I appreciate you telling me though."
"I never saw you as my step daughter. You're my kid, and I think God brought you home, because I really have been longing to see you, longing to find a way to speak to you without your mother around, but I didn't think it would happen. I hope having me in your life has been good for you, and you were a really great kid Brittany, and you're a really great woman. I know I stayed married to her, at first I thought I did it for you, but really I love her, and sometimes I don't know why."
"Me either, Stan. I understand."
"I know why you're here Brittany and you're right. Let her go. I never could. I'm at the end of my life and I just don't feel like fighting, because I feel like she has some hold on me and this is the only way I'll truly be free."
"Stan..."
"I'm ready Brittany. Listen, when you let her go, go find your family, your dad. I think the guy got a bad rap and he missed out on an amazing kid because of it. Go find out for yourself, lean on your aunt. Listen, she's going to try and make you miserable. You get yourself an army together. I'm sorry I was never your army."
"You were Stan, and I love you, I just..."
"I know sweetheart, you just couldn't show it too much, because she would have used it to hurt you somehow. Believe me, I knew that you acting like you barely cared meant that you loved me. I tried to do the same."
"I know Stan."
"You know she likes the world to think she's perfect, right? Well I have no proof but I think she's cheating on me. These hours away, she says she can't watch somebody lay around and waste away, but she's lining up the next sucker's life to ruin. If she threatens you, use it Brittany. Use your father, because I know she blocked him from you for years and I think he stayed away in some ways to protect you. Your aunt hates her guts now, use that. Please Brittany, I know you came home so I could give you this gift. I know God sent you so I could say goodbye. Also, please go upstairs and get the small black box out of the second drawer in my dresser. It's underneath my tee shirts on the left hand side and sweetheart," Stan said, now addressing Santana, "could you please hand me that pen and paper and then take a picture of us when she gets back?"
"Yes sir, I can do that."
Stan smiled, "Stan is fine," he said before addressing Brittany again. "Go now, quickly. I want to do this while we're alone."
Brittany did as the man asked as did Santana. While Brittany was gone Stan took a moment to speak to Santana.
"How is she really doing out there?"
"Pretty good, especially these last few months I think," Santana answered honestly.
"She looks happy."
"I think she is. She has a lot of friends now."
"Anyone special?" Stan asked.
"That one you'd have to ask her."
"She deserves special."
"Totally agree with that, she's amazing."
Brittany came back downstairs and handed Stan the box. Stan opened it and removed a familiar item.
"You loved this watch when you were a kid. You used to make sure it shined like crazy. Any time I went to work you would toy with that watch any chance you could, I could barely keep it in my pocket."
Brittany laughed at the memory. For some reason she did love looking at that pocket watch.
"My father gave it to me, and every time I look at it all I think about is you. So I want you to have this."
"No Stan, what about Melissa? That's her grandfather's watch."
"Melissa already knew to give it to you when I'm gone, but now you've come home and so I get to give it to you myself. You're my kid too, and she's your sister. Don't forget her when I'm gone. I wish you two were closer, but bringing her closer to you would have meant bringing her closer to your mother, and your mother would have had a problem out of me if she messed with her. Not that I loved you any less, but you're her kid. I couldn't take the same stands in regards to you that I could with Melissa."
Brittany shook her head in understanding.
"Also, I have a will and your mother won't really like it but my attorney and Melissa both have a copy. Melissa has no problem with it. You're included in there. You belong in there."
"Stan," Brittany said, her eyes watering. Brittany took the watch and held it tenderly.
"Now I'm going to ask your friend to snap a picture of me giving it to you, not only for me because I want a picture of my beautiful girl, but also because I don't want her to be able to accuse you of stealing it. I'm also leaving a note in this box that I gave it to you when she goes looking for it, okay?"
"Okay Stan," Brittany said with tears in her eyes as Santana waited for the two to pose for the picture. Once she took it Stan leaned in and kissed Brittany on the cheek.
"And if there's anything else of mine that you want you let me know now."
"I don't want you to die," Brittany said and then she sobbed, heavy tears falling down her face and Santana's heart broke.
"I don't want to die either sweetheart, but not sure it won't happen anyway."
"How bad is it Stan?"
"Stage 3 now."
"It could get better."
"You keep that hope, sunshine. You've always been the best at hoping," Stan said, pulling Brittany back into his arms. "I love you, okay?"
"Okay Stan. I love you too."
"Now go Brittany, and make sure you have everything you want to take, every single thing. You want more pictures, take them. You took all of the paintings that didn't have her in them, which is great. You take everything and I want you gone before she comes back. I will deal with her ranting and raving. I will tell her I told you to take it. I've already given Melissa almost everything I want her to have. Your mother will not do what I ask when I'm gone. I'll even tell her I called and asked you to come and get it today and not to tell her you were coming because I wanted it to be a surprise. For once in my life I get to have your back because you're ready to have your own back now. So glad you brought a friend. I'm so glad you have support. Go, and when you come back I'm going to sit and watch you make me dinner. That woman never could cook as good as you," Stan said and Brittany laughed.
"Go, sunshine. I'll see you tonight."
"See you tonight, Stan."
"I love you."
"Love you too."
Brittany and Santana left and Santana decided to drive. Brittany sat sadly in the passenger seat.
"What just happened, Santana?"
"The universe, Britt, just like I always say, nothing is by chance."
"Why didn't she tell me how sick he was?"
"I don't know Britt, but maybe she's trying to saddle you with guilt, guilt for not being there or seeing him before he dies. Now she's lost that advantage, and it may make her meaner. Still, your stepfather did a lot today, so some of the wrath you expected won't be there. He let you take everything you wanted and he's willing to take the blame. Seems like the possibility of death is breaking his chains. He somehow feels free. Sad it took all of that. I don't know your mother but I couldn't imagine someone having that sort of hold on me. I'm not judging, Wolf had me in a chokehold for years begging for his love, but there's such a sinister element to this."
"There is, Santana. You have no idea."
"Are you going to do what he says Britt, reach out to your aunt and dad?"
"I have to think about that."
"Of course."
"She's cheating on him Santana."
"He wasn't sure."
"She's cheating on him. The minute someone rang that doorbell, the minute that video went dark, she would have come home because she is a control freak. She's somewhere distracted, and if Stan says it's a man I'll believe him before I believe her."
"He seems okay with it, Brittany."
"He's just tired, Santana," Brittany sighed. "And now I'm the one who feels bad for leaving him to deal with her in the end."
"He made his choices and seems at peace with them, Brittany, especially now that he's seen you."
"How could she cheat on a man who gave her everything when he may be in his final days?"
"Just add that to the many other 'how could she' questions that you have. She's just being herself Britt."
"What can I do to help him?"
"Seems he only wants one thing from you Britt. Come back at four o' clock and make him a shepherd's pie."
