Ethan kisses Alicia, he can't quite believe he has the guts to do it, but he does. He thinks maybe it's Cal's influence, his comment as he pushed Ethan to finally move forward with Alicia 'life's too short' he'd said. He and Alicia had wasted so much time and now Cal had promised he was ok with them starting something if finally felt right.

He washed his hands in the bathroom sink and tried to steady his nerves. 'Be more Cal' he whispered as cupped some water in his hands and ran it over his face. If he could just channel some of his big brother's smoothness then he'd be fine.

He raised his eyes to the mirror and jumped slightly to see said big brother stood behind him. 'Jesus Caleb!' he spat out nervously. 'You scared the life out of me.'

Cal was watching him curiously. 'Well I know you'll love to hear this but you were right. I made a move. I kissed her! Cal it was amazing.' Ethan beamed into the mirror.

Cal titled his head and smiled at him, a soft sort of sad smile and Ethan carried on rambling, 'I know what you're going to say 'why are you hiding out here instead of out there and I'll have you know I'm just going, I just needed to take a minute. Ugh. Come on lets rock paper scissors who gets a round in.'

Ethan turned around. Cal was now stood at the bathroom door, something about his stance had Ethan pausing. 'Hey, you ok?'

When he stopped to look at his brother outside of the mirror he noted with growing unease a tear was rolling down his big brother's cheek, 'hey Caleb…' he took a step forward to comfort his brother. 'What's happened?'

Cal lowered his head for a moment, when he looked up Ethan could see a million different emotions running across his brother's face. He looked like he didn't know where to begin.

'Cal?'

Cal opened his mouth, looked Ethan in the eyes, 'Goodbye Nibbles'.

The door swung open and a soaking Max stood before Ethan. Ethan's knees started to shake. The door had just gone right through the image of his brother as he disappeared into nothing. Ethan was suddenly filled with the worst, most ominous feeling of his life. Max's eyes met his, abject horror written all over his face.

'Ethan quick, it's Cal!'


Cal wasn't breathing once Ethan entered recuss. He was already dead.

It didn't stop Ethan from screaming at everyone 'DO SOMETHING,WHY ARE YOU STOPPING, CALEB! DON'T DO THIS TO ME. CAL YOU CAN NOT DO THIS TO ME!'

He felt every nerve in his body humming with total and complete fear. This was not happening. Cal was not lying bloodied and dead before him. Ethan placed his own hands on his brother's chest, desperate, 'help me Charlie! Help me!'

Charlie silently stepped forward, shaking his head gently, 'Ethan…'

'Mrs Beachaump, Mrs Beauchamp please, please…'

Connie stood horrified at the end of the bed, motionless. Why wasn't anyone doing anything? Why weren't they helping? Why were they just letting Cal die.

They were all looking at him like he was crazy. Like he was the crazy one for trying to save his brother. Ethan's hands were sticky with Cal's blood as he pushed down on his unresponsive chest.

'Don't leave me Caleb, please. Please don't. I need you. You're all I've got.' He stammered. At some point he realised he was crying but he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop.

'Please' he sobbed, wracks taking over his body. 'Oh please'.

His brother looked like he was sleeping, but he was waxen pale, like a mannequin. Cal usually slept on his side, sprawling and annoyingly loud breather. Ethan had fallen asleep next to him at home enough to know. This wasn't sleeping. This was not sleeping.

Ethan knew it. He knew it was too late too. Now knew that what he saw in the pub was some version of his brother coming to say goodbye. Knew there was no bringing either of them back from this brink.

What happened? What the hell had happened? How had someone done this to his big brother?

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned slightly to see Alicia. He shook his shoulder from her grasp. She was the reason. She was the reason Cal was left to die alone. Ethan should have been there. He should have been protecting him.

His hands shake violently and he slowly, lets them move from Cal's chest. He brings them to rest on the side of his brothers face. Brings his head down so his forehead is touching his brothers. 'It's ok Caleb, i'm here now.' He tells him. 'It's ok now. You're alright, you're alright.'

He hears commotion behind him, sobs, Charlie trying to move everyone out of the room. They can go Ethan doesn't need them. All he ever needed really is lying dead and cold in this room.

'My brother…' Ethan whispers. Cal feels cold. Absent. Ethan moves to the table at the side of the room, returns with antiseptic wipes, 'we need to get this blood of you Cal' he tells him. He runs the wipe over Cal's blood stained mouth, over his cheeks, down his neck. He shudders when he gets to the chest, the wipe is saturated and stained with blood. Way too much blood loss to be survivable. 'You're my brother'. He repeats. 'My brother'.

When Cal's face looks less like a murder victim and more like his usual pretty boy self Ethan moves his brother over, lifts up his arm and climbs onto the bed. Lies next to him. He puts his head on his brother's chest. It doesn't move. Ethan grips his hand, the hand that had shoved and grabbed and held him all his life, it's like a rag doll and that's what eventually does it for Ethan. His big brother, the most alpha male, reduced to a puppet with its strings cut out. He sobs, he sobs and sobs and sobs. He's still lying with Cal and still crying when the police arrive.

He loses it and snaps when they try to remove him from Cal, when they ramble on about his brother being 'evidence'. He's not evidence, he's Caleb Knight, he's Ethan's big brother, registrar, he's not supposed to be evidence. Someone gives him a sedative, he thinks it's Duffy, could have been Charlie. There are the most infuriating animal cries echoing around the ED. It takes Ethan a good few hours to realise they were coming from him.

Cal is dead. Beautiful, frustrating, teasing, whirlwind Cal. He is everything that drove Ethan mad, he is everything that was love and he died all alone.

Ethan throws up.