I'm sorry this chapter is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
Though think of it like an apology for lore-dumping on you.
Or you could even take this as a way to kind of... stretch(?) the branches of the plot. All for the sake of getting to the plot points I want so that shit can FINALLY kick off. And yes, hopefully with this chapter comes the end of me describing things in great detail. Things will probably be patched over this chapter and we can just increase the pace. After all, this story is supposed to take place over weeks and we only just burned through two days.
The fireworks are coming soon. Just be patient.
And as always,
Enjoy!
Flashback:
"Seriously though, I'd have figured pizza, ice cream, and bunch of scoops of fried rice and scrambled eggs with school lunch ON TOP would make your heart stop... Do you really need the three chocolate bars?" I asked, searching my brain for any sensible means to explain the digestive-metabolic nightmare/dream that was Sayori's body.
Vincent would have field day listing down every single possibility and describing the many facets of biological processes, and a certain someone would have dared to check if Sayori was growing chubby. Not that I cared about how she carried herself, as long as whatever delicate balance that existed kept her happy and healthy, I would not press further. In shallow thought, she scratches her chin for a few steps before her hand returns to the chocolate bar as she breaks herself a square chunk.
"I'm a growing girl" she stated, flexing her arms to show off her thin arms. "I need as much food as I need."
"Typically girls don't experience major growth spurts past the age of 16..."
Yeah. Definitely shouldn't say that.
"Though one may see, usually small, sporadic growth between the ages of 16 and 25."
That neither.
I chuckle to myself as I watch Sayori flick the chunk into the air as her arms fall to her sides relaxed, head locked on the flying sweet as her body flailed to meet it like a chicken without its head. However the chunk only sounds a soft smack as it lands on her face, dead-center between her eyes, the chunk sliding off as she flinched. Curious on how the off-brand almond Hershey's bar tasted, I caught the chunk narrowly between my pointer and middle only to flick it using the chunk's inertia to the space between my pinky and ring. In one smooth motion, I flick my wrist up and out in a calculated toss towards my mouth. Adjusting slightly, I manage to catch the bar in my mouth, only to regret it.
Why'd I do that, it's a sweet.
Leaning over to a nearby trash can, I spit the chunk out of my mouth. I spit a few more times to get that slimy and molasses-like texture from my mouth.
"Woah! How'd you do that?"
I turn to see a starry-eyed Sayori as she completely ignored the entire situation before and after I caught the chocolate in my mouth: including the chocolate smeared on the bridge of her nose. Walking up to the puppy, I rub away the smudge with my thumb, the girl actively squirming under the sudden gesture. Soon enough the mess is gone and I take a step back to admire my handiwork. Sayori, however, can only manage to generate some random scolding string of words, which I guess was in protest of me just suddenly scrubbing away at her face.
Though, I'd bet it was leading up to something along the lines of 'why'.
"Because you can't seem to catch food IN your mouth." I clarified, making sure that there was no misunderstanding there so that she would stop struggling already. That seemed to reset the computer in her brain as she finally stood straight and threw an accusatory finger my way.
"Well if you taught me how to do it, I could!" Sayori turned in feigned irritation, not-so-subtly taking a testing glance my way.
I paused a moment before deciding to not play along this time, we were late enough for club as we were. Turning away from the oddly-smug girl I made haste towards the classroom on the third floor, because I frankly did not want el presidenta to be on my back.
Or at my back.
From behind I could hear her loud footsteps as she barely manages to make up the distance and make pace.
"Geez, we're not THAT late!"
I shoot my childhood friend an unimpressed look, and she responds by puffing out her cheeks in an exaggerated pout.
...
Rounding the last flight of stairs, we finally step into the hall where the classroom was situated. Turning left, Sayori lagged behind to throw away the now-empty wrapper of her first chocolate bar. Soon I find myself next to the sliding door to the classroom as I look to Sayori, who was lagging behind trying to open the second bar. I gesture her over, and she thankfully notices the attempt for her attention, so she skips over and wordlessly offers me the chocolate bar.
Not to eat of course: to open.
I rip open the serrated end at its corner just enough to create a tab for Sayori to open further. I hand her back the chocolate bar and she glows in an unapologetically-bright thankfulness at the action.
A genuine smile for a chocolate bar.
I swear, "The little things in life" really does apply to her.
Trying not to smile at the wholesome girl in front of me, I slide open the door. Gesturing towards the door, I step out of the way for Sayori as she silently takes the cue to enter, with me following not too far behind.
However the clubroom is empty.
"Huh. Guess we weren't late." I realized, speaking mostly to myself.
"I told you! Usually today everyone else is busy with study hall and other things, " Sayori explained, basking smugly in her victory as she puffed her chest out. I hummed in understanding and thought.
"I see... Though couldn't you have told me that earlier?" I accuse, which the now-deflated foe is now turned to her side- fingers in her signature pose. After a few seconds of contemplation Sayori can only muster a nervous giggle. The whole manzai act, explained to me by Vincent on our fateful trip to Japan, was put on hold as I heard muffled noises from the classroom closet. Signaling Sayori to get back, I crept my way up to the door.
Oh god. I hope its just rats.
Wait.
No. That would mean the school's infested.
I hope its a nerd or teacher.
Silently turning the knob, I turn back to see Sayori poorly hidden behind one of the cubbies meant to hold textbooks. She shoots me a thumbs-up, which did not ease the tension at all. In complete contrast to the stealthy approach, I slam the door open- revealing a pink-haired nerd tippy-toe atop a stool. It seemed that she was pulling at a box atop a shelf with the very tips of her fingers. However she had stiffened up in surprise- breaking whatever precarious balance that was her attempt at retrieving the box.
Natsuki yelped in fear and surprise as her arms flailed and failed to restore balance. Immediately realizing the consequences of my mistake, I took a deep two strides and analyzed the unfolding situation:
1) Natsuki was falling
Not bad on its own, the stool was only a foot or two tall. However:
2) The stool tipped.
This meant that she lost her balance and was making good headway towards smacking the ground: head-first. But that's not all:
3) The box is falling.
In her attempt to retrieve the box, she did not have the mind to think of RELEASING the box as she fell- dragging the box along with her. This meant on top of possibly knocking herself out with the fall, the box would ensure that she was DEFINITELY going to get knocked out, more than likely severely injured, or worst-case: kill her.
Braking halfway through my third stride, I bent down like an umpire poised to catch a screwball and snatched Natsuki by her chest towards my own with my right arm: good ol' right hook. Following the momentum of her fall, I let gravity pull me down as I twist me and Natsuki out of the way of the falling box: towards my left shoulder.
Before I could fully extend my left hand to catch the box my shoulder slams into the ground, Natsuki's fall cushioned by my body.
Ow! God, people are heavy...
The rest of my back follows through, Natsuki now face-first in my left shoulder. Her attempts to free herself bear fruit as she shoves herself out from my grasp, though this causes my head to slam into a shelf behind me- dazing me. My eyes close in an attempt to reel in the pain, but it was not enough for me to lose the mind to catch the box with my left hand. I knew I wasn't strong enough to do such a feat one-handed, so I catch the now-slowed box with my right forearm: shunting it over my head and shoulders onto the shelf behind me. The QTE however was not done, as the HEAVY-AS-FUCK box slammed down on my right hand: crushing my fingers. This time I vocalize the pain, not because it hurt but because it wasn't rude:
"OW!"
It takes only a few long seconds for Natsuki to right herself up again and lift the box off of my hand, though my eyes were still closed trying to will away the pain growing in my head. Finally willing my eyes open, my head rang as my fingers stung- my free hand gently caressing them in a vain attempt to nurse sensation back into it. Turning to Natsuki, she had put the box aside on a table and made her way to my supine body.
In my dazed stupor I tried to take a glance at the box that was soon to be engulfed by the figure of Natsuki, attempting to garner how a cardboard box could be THAT heavy. However the only glance that I was rewarded with was Natsuki coming to a stop at my side, the inertia throwing her skirt forward:
A mature, laced pink.
Immediately I threw my body up at attention, the adrenaline from the whole ordeal dulling the pain in my head and fingers. However Natsuki has her fists balled at her side, her face glowing a brilliant red like Santa's own. Her face contorted into itself as she closes her eyes tightly, a few seconds before they were open once- locked onto my face with the unmoving focus of a predator. I could tell she was angry, and she was rightfully so: I had caused her to fall and risked her safety in my own stupid paranoia. Before I could ask her if she was alright and apologize, she closes the distance between us and:
*SMACK*
"So he's a pervert!" exclaimed Natsuki, a mix of pride, anger, and relief in her voice. Monika on the other hand, did not acknowledge the girl's accusation and simply leaned towards the window and peeked inside. Sitting at a desk in the back of the classroom, Himura took to simply turning his gaze down as Sayori pulled and messaged at his hand as if it were putty. She couldn't see his face, but the usual confident posture was replaced with a slouched back and look of concern from Sayori. Monika turned to the black hole of emotions once more and addressed her.
"He looks sorry to me Natsuki- did he not apologize?"
Natsuki could only fall silent as she looked down slightly to not meet Monika's eyes. Monika waited for a minute, but not even the awkward silence could not get Natsuki in the mood to break it. Placing her hand on Natsuki's shoulders, Monika lowered her voice.
"Look Natsuki, give him a chance, he makes our vice-president happy." In response, Natsuki turned to see a Sayori slapping away at the back of Himura's hand. "I'm sure it was a mistake, and things like that are out of his complete control: we all had some hand in it."
Natsuki didn't respond, and Monika took the chance to continue.
"If I hadn't moved your manga, if you hadn't closed the door, which we we're not supposed to" scolded Monika, which caused Natsuki to look even further down. "And if he hadn't kicked open the door: this wouldn't of happened. However, it did and we have to live with it."
"B-but h-he saw..." Natsuki managed, a shy side that Monika could only smile fondly at.
"Look. If he does it again, I'll be sure to go with you to report him. Okay?" Monika offered, which caused a small smile to return to Natsuki's face. "I'm not asking you to forgive him, all I'm asking is to give him a chance to redeem himself."
At that, the smile on Natsuki's face crept back to the indignant one she wore occasionally.
"I'll never forgive a boy for ruining our club!" Natsuki exclaimed, her natural vigor returning.
"Yeah? You never said no to the 'flirting' though," teased Monika, which caused Natsuki to go wide-eyed.
"I IMPLIED THAT I DIDN'T LIKE IT! COMMON SENSE MONIKA!" yelled Natsuki, sounding more to be self-reassuring than anything to Monika.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go Natsuki."
"Ow!" I winced, pulling back my hand to see it red and white from the assault Sayori launched against it. I shook myself out of whatever deep thought I was having, though I seemed to have forgotten what I was thinking about. If I thought so hard that I couldn't notice my hand getting abused, those thoughts were probably vital to outsmarting the violent being that put me here in the first place.
"I win!" Sayori exclaimed, relishing in her victory. However she has second thoughts as she looks at my now-swelling hand. "Sorry."
"No worries, I'm surprised I even lasted that long," I reassure her as I shove the swelling hand into my blazer to hide it away.
She silently offers her own hand like the doofus she was, but I shake my head in refusal as her usual smile flickers into an unknown emotion, but it all too quickly returns to normal at the sight of the half-eaten chocolate bar she had set aside.
Hopefully that's not the third one...
With that I chuckle to myself as I return to attempting to remember THE something that was so important. However all I could manage was recollecting how the awkward atmosphere came to be: apologizing to Natsuki profusely before she stormed out of the classroom. As soon as the door slammed behind her, I asked Sayori to make me say "Ow" to distract me.
Distract me?
From what?
I sat in silence as I watched Sayori crunch on a particularly large piece of almond.
Probably this awkwardness.
Like the good childhood friend she was, she earnestly went to bend and manipulate my hand: with more violence than you would do to Mario's face in the title screen from any iteration of Super Mario 64. After that...
Nothing.
My bodily functions seemingly stop as I try to recall the few minutes I spaced out, before resuming as I concede under threat of asphyxiation.
Though my heart skipping a beat like that could be a precursor to heart attack.
I bet Monika is trying to kill me.
Oddly enough the headache doesn't come, instead just a dull wave echoing in my head. Before I could react internally to the lost ability, I realized Monika already came back, as she was now waving at me from the teacher's desk.
I wave back. Despite thinking it odd that Monika kept up friendly appearances though approached me with... unique personalities the past two days... was interesting to say the least. Shaking away that notion, by my headcount it meant everyone then was here, except for Yuri. Taking this time to apologize to Natsuki, I went to call out to her but decided against it.
She probably needs space...
Defeated, I cast my sight back forward to spot Monika sat at the teacher's desk- dutifully reading through the papers she had brought in with her. Before I could muster the courage to talk to Monika about everything in an attempt to make buddy-buddy, a subtle scent of lavender wafts in through the chocolatey stench that Sayori was just about finished suppressing.
Scanning my surroundings I don't spot anything that would be making such a scent: candles, incense, diffusers- nothing. However I felt a burning sensation on my cheek as I turned to the windows and looked down- only to see Yuri peeking at me from behind her book. She was sat casually on the floor- knees up to rest a copy of The Portrait of Markov on. Though this caused her skirt to hike up and-
"Oh. Hey Yuri!" I called, waving at the purple-haired girl.
"H-Hi Himura..." she returned, immediately burying her face behind the book once more.
I glowered at myself as I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to rip the troublesome pair of orbs in my head as penance.
GOD! THINK FOR ONCE!
We can't just "Fuck it we ball" like James.
We need to be aware, thinking, and capable of memorizing something that happened not too long ago...
Symptomatic of "balling".
I sighed as I finally noticed I had buried my eyes behind my free hand, messaging my temples in frustration. Lowering my hand and opening my eyes, I went to look at Sayori, though the girl disappeared from the seat she had taken across from me:
Probably talking with Natsuki.
Or the bathroom.
I cringe at that thought.
Why'd I even think that?
What is wrong with me today?
To distract myself, I stand up and sit beside Yuri. We both do not acknowledge each other, simply enjoying the warm rays of the sun on our heads. A minute or two passes before she goes to turn the page. Before she does so she stops and stares at me evenly, before turning back to turn the page and tilt the book ever so slightly towards me: which I assumed that she was offering to share the book with me. Wordlessly agreeing to her offer, I readjust so that I can see the text on the pages. Apparently, she had just finished reading the prologue and had turned to the first page of chapter one.
Not that I minded missing it.
...
God, this is just body and shock horror.
I groaned to myself, making sure to stay silent and keep my eyes on the pages, as to not disturb Yuri's quiet. Sure I said "I didn't mind" horror, but that actually meant "I could care less for horror". Horror as a genre did not hold sway whether or not I bought a book, though if a book was JUST horror: the book would hold no intrinsic value to me. As such, R. L. Stine's Goosebumps series did not interest me as a kid. Take this as a grain of salt though: I do not like Steven King's works.
Though it doesn't help that I read IT as my first and ONLY book exploring his works.
Seriously, I should give him a second chance but...
After THAT shit... Sheesh.
1-0 Edgar Allan Poe for being the BETTER kind of weird.
KEYWORD: BETTER.
NOT: GOOD.
The book in Yuri's hands wasn't bad though. If you ignored the attempts to use the reader's imagination against them, the imagery and world building was exceptional: a point that Yuri said she appreciated in books. Although these kinds of works weren't my cup of tea, I can appreciate where Yuri's coming from. This kind of young adult horror was perfect for something her age: mature enough to digest the themes but not experienced enough to be unimpressed with the premise.
Though the fantasy I like is built on that premise more than anything.
So I really can't talk...
I mean, I read middle-school level books to pass the time after class...
I chuckle at the memory of a university student just turning away at the pages of something like The Ranger's Apprentice, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, or even The Name of The Wind. However I did not chuckle quietly enough, signaled by Yuri turning to me confused.
"U-um... What's up?" she tries to casually ask, though the unfamiliar word choice and lack of confidence only exacerbated the inevitability of a voice crack. She blushes a rosy pink as a hand shoots up to stop embarrassing herself further. She was quite animated, so I can only try my hardest not to laugh at her plight. I manage to stifle it however, smiling as gently I can, instead nodding my head towards the book to pull attention away from the situation.
"I just thought that if we couldn't hear her thoughts, she would look like one of those stereotypical horror victims running towards the Big Bad," I explained, as Yuri's face turned back towards the pages as her face scrunched up in thought.
"I never really thought about it like that," she smiled, turning her head back towards me. "We shouldn't be too harsh to judge then: a scared mind is an irrational mind."
I hummed in agreement. At that, the conversation naturally fell flat- but it wasn't awkward. Maybe it was because both of us were content with leaving it at that, as I could feel that she also didn't want to go back to reading. Both of us didn't make eye contact as we flexed our feet- both of us admiring the motion of the toeses.
In my peripheral I see Yuri place a gold-lined purple bookmark between the pages and softly closes the book. I was content with just leaving it at that and went to stand up, but before I could go Yuri breaks the comfortable silence:
"Sorry about yesterday Himura."
"Huh? Didn't I say it was fine?" I return, pretty sure that we covered the bases of invading my home and eating my food.
"No, we just left you alone like that even after we so rudely intruded," she revealed, pulling me back down by my sleeve to be seated. I allow her to do as she pleased, which was to place me back at her side: resting on hip and forearm. "We didn't even offer you anything in apology either..." she guiltily finished, her voice a soft whisper.
She pauses, probably to let me speak or scold her as she had her head downturned in ashamed resignation. Scooting back into the previous sitting position we shared, I straightened up as I finally went to address her:
"But..." I started, which prompted Yuri to lift her face to face mine. "Isn't that what friends are for? To be just a little selfish?" I try, hoping that would make her feel better. However her face stays blank in thought, our eyes locked searching for answers in each other's gazes. However her eyes look away first as her body follows suit:
"I see. If you would... excuse me." She stands up and places the book on the desk with her bag, making her way towards the door. Halfway towards the door, she turns to the two girls who stood over the seated president conversing:
"I'll be right back," she called, which caught the attention of all three as they looked a little confused or even off-put at the toothy grin on her face. Just like them I was shocked, so I spent a good few minutes stunned. Soon I finally manage to stand, and I make my way to the girls- standing a good head or so taller above them. Sayori is busy chirping away about something until I get close enough to hear- which she CONVEINENTLY just decides to stop talking.
The sound of my feet scuffing against the ground attracts the attention of the three girls who give me, for lack of better words, a charcuterie board of emotions. Monika is wearing her trademark smile, though nothing on her face betrayed her thoughts or feelings. On the other hand, the two standing girls were complete opposites: complete joy at just me being around and the other a complete detesting hatred. The latter of the two really looked like she wanted to get as far away from me as possible.
"Hey Himura! How'd you get Yuri to smile like that?" Sayori asked, completely obvious to the glare Natsuki was throwing me.
"Huh? Oh." I paused to think, though I would just chalk it up to having a friend or something? "I don't know." I thought aloud, which made Sayori pout in frustration.
Never took Sayori for a gossip girl.
"Come on! I've never seen her smile like that! Please?" she pressed, as if I was harboring the secrets to the universe.
"Seriously, I don't know what's going on today." I honestly answered, Natsuki's muttering grabbing my notice.
Fuck, man.
I've never had this happen to me before.
How do I fix this?
I thought about joking with her but... she was openly glaring at me: eyes half-lidded in untrusting guard and her fang a few newtons away from stabbing into her lip. I also thought about just conversing with the other two girls, but that would be AWKWARD. And on the flip side, neither could I walk away from this conversation for the same reasons.
I had trapped myself between a pissed-off Chihuahua and a hunting Irish Setter- pulled along by a curious German Shepard.
Great.
It would be great if I had just actually paid attention to the softcore porn that was James' animes.
"Well, at least Sayori and I know what's happening today!" chimed the president, deciding to cut through the awkwardness- her donned smile cracking under the weight of carrying the conversation. It was nice to know that she was as much a girl as she was cunning, maybe something I could tease her for later.
"Yeah... Though, Monika was worried how you and Yuri felt about it." Sayori added, finally sounding like the vice-president she was.
"Oh? Something new? Couldn't we- I don't know- like... Do what you guys usually do?" I awkwardly point, finding it odd that the two were trying to put some variety in their club activities.
Even we, in our old club, didn't bother doing anything more than what we promised on the fliers and ice-breakers for a day. We usually went down to the elementary schools, preschools, homeless shelters, or orphanages to offer help and talk story, as we were, you know, the Community Ethics Club. Then for ice-breakers we would just talk with staff and stuff on how to help out and improve things, or just have a discussion on the state and affairs of the community.
Other than that? We actually just stayed up reading through suggestions and recommendations the state would send down to blatantly shovel off their work to students who were hoping to fill out their resumes. Once we found something, we then brainstormed and handled all the logistics and such and sent a proposed spending and schedule to the mayor's office.
Though for a literature club?
Probably we get assigned readings or something.
I get that would turn away the normal student as they already struggle in our literature and humanities classes.
And we only have four... unique girls in a classroom rather than a clubroom.
Though, I came here kind-of prepared to slog through that kind of thing.
"Actually, we don't do all that much actually..." chuckled Monika, who scratched her right cheek reflexively.
Wow.
I sucked my lips before the thought to quip even came over me. Even Natsuki, who was so full of rage, looked embarrassed by the statement. I could only wish to groan in pain from the awkwardness this day has devolved into. But I didn't, and trudged on.
"Right!" I chimed, taking the shame from off the president's shoulders. "So what did you have in mind for today?"
She shot me a blank look before she flashed me a thankful smile.
"I thought that maybe we try to see if we can get into discussion-based things."
I flinched at that, not really willing to risk loose lips with Natsuki or Monika. The latter of the two noticed my discomfort and went to reassure me:
"Though we don't need to talk about literature yet. After all, I think we should just get comfortable discussing things before we do something like that."
"Right." I agreed despite her being wrong. Though, I manage to reel back the look on my face to what I hoped was something more neutral.
"Though Natsuki and Sayori are uncomfortable with the idea, so I was thinking on how we should show them...""
"Okay..."
Sayori and Natsuki, who had sat down themselves and watching us talk from a distance, turned to each other to whisper something to one another.
Monika looks at the clock and stands, looking back to me to hold up a finger in a "wait" gesture before walking over to the door. She slides open the door and shouts back to me:
"With me, you," she pauses to looks around for a bit. "and Yuri..." she finishes, not looking at me as if she was trying once more to find her.
The direction the conversation was going was so painfully obvious, I'm already regretting being sentient. I nod slowly in hope that she pulls a switcheroo, but that doesn't seem the case when she turns around with a smile on her face.
Please?
Monika struts(?) her way over and stands within arm's reach, an oddly intimate distance but... What do I know?
"Though I doubt Yuri would want to be the center of attention." Monika states matter-of-factly, leaning forward in her signature pose. "So~ That leaves me and you!"
Fuck.
...
I'm laughing.
I don't know why. The sheer absurdity of it all? The way that Natsuki looks like a pouting kid? Relief that she's not as mad as I thought? Maybe the way that Monika seemed so flabbergasted? The way that Yuri and Sayori were just fucking about? Or just me laughing at the insanity and sheer joke the universe was playing on me, surrounded by cute girls that James and other kids online would rave about?
Who knows.
"What's so funny?" Natsuki shouts, more out of confusion than anger. I laugh a bit more, but I manage to speak somewhat between chuckles:
"I-Its just... that." I'm giggling like a school girl (kek), but in the hiccup I manage to find the air to continue. "Just the fact that... you're still hung up on that?"
"Oh really?" she challenges, managing to summon an angry tone one more. "Seems like you two are more than happy to be ogling each other like you're on a date!"
I see Monika blush at this as she straightens up a little, failing to hide the shocked look on her face.
"Natsuki, come on... It's not like that." Monika murmurs, scratching her cheek.
God, when she's not being bipolar...
"Oh really? The look on your face tells a different story." I smirk, but instead of lighting up like Yuri and Natsuki she giggles and shoves me playfully.
"Shut it. You're blushing." she shoots back, actually snapping me into reality.
Oh shit.
Am I?
Worried about being easy to read, I turn to Natsuki- only to see her glower at me. The reality of the situation drops back on me as my faces relaxes as I shoot Natsuki an embarrassed smile:
"Sorry."
She doesn't even acknowledge the apology, instead just huffing and sitting back at her desk. Turning back to Monika, it was back to business. Monika was pushing her hair behind her ears and readjusting the fit of her sleeve at her wrists.
"So... How should we go about doing this?" I ask, more than willing to forget about Natsuki for a moment.
"Well, why don't we just talk about something we enjoy?" suggests Monika, taking the confusion on my face as permission to continue. "After all, a discussion won't feel like work if you enjoy what you're talking about. If the topic at hand is something that you are willing to get deep into, then discussion will come naturally."
Before the girl can start another sentence, I cut her off:
"Monika's Tip of the Day."
The Woman simply looks indifferent for a moment, then dons a knowing smile:
"And that's Monika's Tip of the Day!" she proclaims in comedic fashion. We share a chuckle as we awkwardly shuffle in our seats. I let the air still then go to speak.
"Well, what do you like then?"
...
Today I learned that Monika can play the piano and enjoys literature for the sake of reading and learning, much like me.
Though not the piano part.
She expressed interest in what I read and what instruments I play, but you know:
Don't want to say anything that might put me at risk of sounding like an alien.
After all, this world is just full of bootleg games and other things.
We then went off of that and talked about artistic integrity and music as a medium for messages from propaganda to emotional. To my surprise she is quite smart, though she was basically the ideal student who had perfect grades and was running her club on top of that. She was everything a popular girl needed to be: from outgoing to athletic- she had it all.
"I don't want to hear that coming from the top student in the school." Monika dryly states, giving me a slight side-eye.
Oh shit!
"What did I say that out loud?" I ask, genuinely hoping my rambling thoughts didn't come off as condescending.
"I'm not popular because I wanted to be you know?"
That...
Tells me nothing...
Worst case is she heard ALL of that...
...
...
...
Play it off.
"Never said it was a bad thing."
"Yeah, but don't need words like that from the guy who always places at the top of the exams."
Should I say sorry?
I don't know what I even said!
What the fuck!
"Look, I don't understand what being a school idol means, but if it makes you uncomfortable then I'll refrain." I sigh, literally confused on why there was confrontation now. Probably because she was sensitive about something, but I don't know.
Maybe it's like she doesn't like attention from NPCs?
Wait.
These people aren't NPCs.
Are they? They have real faces and names.
And memories!
Maybe she just doesn't like attention?
I guess.
Though, whenever I see her it's not like she's getting harassed or crowded.
If anything! She's content living her best life!
"Thank you."
"Yeah... Anyhow..." I trail off, trying to remember what we were talking about. Something interesting came up: sentience. It was weird, but we were talking about how art is a uniquely human thing and that spiraled into sentience and thought. Odd. But in theme. Oddly. "Uh, we were talking about how humans are the only species capable of creating abstract ideas?"
Monika nods.
"Isn't it odd that despite other species making tools and using critical thinking to solve puzzles, humans are the only species that can create lingering abstractions of reality: like music, art, or pieces of literature?" Monika affirms, managing to slip us back into our discussion. Thankfully, despite Natsuki and Sayori only adding on at moments where we weren't getting existential or something alike, Yuri also added to our conversations, sliding her desk next to ours.
"Well, do you think in time that other species could evolve to do the same? To create?" Yuri asks, though it feels like she's asking me more than anything. Monika and Yuri would ask open-ended questions, though Monika would always make a point that would deflect the brunt of the answer to me to answer. Not that it was mentally straining, but it was a headache pulling up my conversations with Vincent and forums at the university.
"Well, do you think humans are the only sentient beings?" I ask, though I am answered with silence... Well, except for:
"No! Animals have thoughts and feelings too!" Sayori butts in, seemingly distraught at the thought of it. I ruffle her hair a little as to placate her.
"Relax Sayori! I didn't say they didn't."
Sayori pouts.
"Geez, don't say those kinds of things if you don't mean them." she scolds, though I didn't know how to react at that.
"Okay, okay... Anyhow, I was going to make the point that sentience is... complex. It's not something provable, but things that are symptomatic of sentience are critical thinking and creation." I continue, before Yuri cuts me off.
"Wait, but isn't that contradictory? You just said it's not provable while you say it has symptoms?"
"What I mean is that it's hard to tell straight up if something does or doesn't have sentience, but we can tell if something COULD be sentient by looking at how they interact with the world." I answer, though I'm just pulling this from whatever shattered fragments of thought I can muster.
"I was going to ask about AI or animals, though it sounds like we're getting to that... Aren't we?" Monika adds, before once again deflecting it back to me.
"Yeah..." hums Yuri in thought. "Why creation and critical thinking? Why not the ability to socialize and interact with their environment, or even the common point of being capable of emotion?"
"Well, let's take it one step at a time..." I cut, trying not to smile at how Monika was interested in conversing with me instead of whatever shenanigans she's been doing up to now, or even Yuri who had broken out of her shell. "So let's start off at creation... Creation is an amalgamation of many other facets of sentience. For example: creation, and in effect sentience, can only occur when you can see and act on the past and future, because that separates us from viruses that only go host to host regardless if they're wiping out a species or if they came from another."
"So bacteria and stuff like that aren't sentient?" Sayori asks, which I simply nod to. This makes Sayori think as she sits back into her chair deep in thought.
"Or even as another example, communication is also a creative process." I begin again. "When one communicates, you describe what is currently there or not there and create a non-verbal image of something into the world. Communication doesn't have to be descriptive either: bonds of friendship, hate, love, and everything in-between is a result of sentient creation of social bonds in response to the past and future. You must have both non-social and social communication to be considered sentient, and that's why animals are debated to be or not: they don't have non-social communication."
"I see where you're going," Yuri nods, which reminded me a lot of Vincent. "If we look on the other hand: apathy, the opposite of hate and love, is the mark of a lack of creation... So things that are apathetic to many external stimuli and internal stimuli like emotions, we can say they lack sentience: like viruses! To create nonexistent meaning and make it have tangible effects is what sentience is!" she excitedly finishes, which is infectious as Monika adds on.
"Like when one is asked to create, one imagines something beyond the normal mundane creation and is compelled to create an idea that creates something from the past that goes into the future, like a melody that creates the idea of evoking emotions of love!"
An odd example...
"So, if creation is one part... Then critical thinking... Is also tied to sentience because it is the more physical version of interacting with the world? To apply thought to matter?" Yuri questions, looking to Monika rather than me for answer this time. Before the conversation could continue, Natsuki clears her throat.
"Come on, you guys sound like big nerds." points Natsuki, who already has her bag slung over her shoulder. "Club hours are ending in, like, 5 minutes, and I don't think Ms. Aono is going to like us staying behind when the gates get locked."
Suddenly, we turn to the sound of a desk squeaking to see our club advisor, whose leg was caught on the edge of the seat. Sitting back down awkwardly to lift her leg out of the nook of the desk-chair combo, Ms. Aono stands up and waves awkwardly.
"Ms. Aono! When did you get here?" Sayori asks, genuinely surprised.
"Uhh... Not too long ago," the advisor answers, fiddling with her fingers at her waist, acting more like a school girl than the four in the club. "I went to check on you guys yesterday, and the classroom was empty... So I just wanted to make sure everything was alright..." she finishes, though she seems to be telling that to the air than us.
Ms. Aono was short... Like an inch or two shorter than Monika short. When I first met her she had a pair of wire frame glasses held together by scotch tape at the bridge, though whenever she moved, the bangs of her black hair would cover one of the lenses. Though now that her bangs from her neck-length hair were covering her right eye, I notice that the left lens is missing from the frame.
"Everything's alright miss..." I start, moving my head around just to make sure that the lens really was gone. "Though what happened to your glasses?"
"What?" she blurts, and removes her glasses, turning them to herself. "You're right..." she blinks, but continues with a somewhat professional tone: "Though it doesn't really matter. My right eye is the one that needs corrective lenses, the left one was just decorative." As she was talking, she had managed to place the glasses back on her face.
"Oh, oh! If you only need one, then why not a monocle! I think you would look cool with them!" Sayori exclaims, her suggestion causing Monika and Ms. Aono to giggle.
"Sayori, I don't think normal people wear monocles nowadays." I comment, which causes Sayori to limp slightly.
"But think about it! She would look sophisticated with her monocle! Like one of those detectives!"
"Sayori, I don't think I need to look sophisticated..." Ms. Aono cuts, her dark baggy eyelids now visible as she walked over and took a seat.
I always knew that it was rude to ask a girl her age, but I really wanted to ask Ms. Aono how old she was. Apart from the tired look in her eyes, she looked like she was still in her early twenties.
Ignoring Sayori pout in defeat, the advisor turns to me:
"So Himura, do any of the girls catch your eye?"
"Woah! I don't think we should be talking about something like that, miss!" I blurt, in shock, more than anything, at the out-of-left-field question.
The instigator laughs lightly at my reaction.
"Don't worry, I know you're not that kind of kid. Mr. Hasegawa loves bragging about you."
The mention of my homeroom teacher for the last three years was confusing, I didn't think I spoke or did much in any of my classes, so this was news to me.
"Bragging? I don't think I do all that much."
"Come on, top student? Diligent? Never says no? He always goes on rants saying that "Kids these days need to follow in his example. Nowadays these kids expect the world to compromise"." she mimed, obviously tired from hearing the rant to the point that she memorized it.
I waved off the praise.
"So when you were absent yesterday, he was worried and messaged me to check on you guys." she finished, which put the whole thing into perspective.
"Ah, sorry about that. Just didn't feel all too-well yesterday." I apologized, hoping that she would leave it at that.
"Well, at least you're doing better today." With that, the advisor stands and goes to leave. "I at least hope Monika is not being too harsh on you, with her being an ex-debate club member and all."
Monika shuffled uncomfortably at that comment, but the advisor ignored her and waved goodbye. Shutting the door after her and Natsuki, who had slinked away to leave as well. I look to my side to see Sayori already with bag over her shoulder.
"Sorry Himura, but I'm gonna walk home with Natsuki okay?" she asks, though she's already stumbling out of the clubroom before I could even answer her. Wordlessly, the three remaining members, including me, manage to rearrange the desks back to normal and have everything cleaned up. We exchange goodbyes before I stop Yuri before she leaves:
"Y-yes?" she asks surprised, my hand still on her shoulder.
"Can I ask you a favor." I ask, and Yuri nods. "Can you check up on Sayori and Natsuki for me... It's important."
Her face goes blank for a few moments before she wordlessly nods with an unknown look on her face.
"Thanks Yuri."
With that, she flashes me a small smile before she makes pace to catch up with the two in question. Then as I go to leave, Monika does to me what I did to Yuri.
"Yes?" I answer more confidently than the lavender girl.
"Do you mind if walk home with you? You look like you're not used to walking home alone..."
Monika looks genuinely concerned, which was a first I've seen from her. Usually it's that unknown smile, curiosity, professionalism, and teasing. Even if I thought Monika was plotting something, these kinds of moments and the moments where she's fluster remind me she's just a child after all.
"You really don't have to. I'm a big boy now," I smile, teasing myself in a playful fashion. "So it's alright to leave me alone."
"Then think of me guarding you back home." she teases, picking up on my playful tone. "There's rumors around that you're being a lecher in the literature club."
That comment hurt a little, but she was definitely talking about something else.
"Wouldn't me being with the school idol make them worse?" I rebut, not really comfortable going toe to toe with Monika.
"Being in the same club already is enough for rumors to spread. Me being with you will allow me to protect you if something goes wrong."
I roll my eyes at that, but I finally concede. With that we walk towards my house in silence, until I finally ask:
"Where DO you live actually? I doubt you live past me."
Monika seems to think a little, but instead of speaking she smiles. I can only sigh at the mental gymnastics she puts me through. Seriously, my thoughts were going faster than they usually do: faster than even the last few days. But while I was stuck in the hurricane of thoughts, Monika breaks the silence:
"So... Are you alright?" she asks relatively meekly.
"Huh?" I ask confused. "Where's this coming from?"
"After tod- Yesterday... I just thought it was a little mean of me to do that. I thought it would be funny to get you back for the poem but..." she looks genuinely sorry.
"Hey, I thought it was pretty funny. I'm surprised you didn't take it further."
"Further?" Monika looks genuinely confused by my answer, pausing and looking lost for a good minute. That was until everything seems to click for her and she shoots me a flirty look. "Oh, and who was worried about the rumors?"
"And I wasn't the one who brought them up." I instantly counter, which causes us both to start laughing at the absurdity of yesterday, the regrets of today seeming just a little further away.
"So..." I start again. "How'd you like my poem?"
Monika seems to think for a little bit until she smiles:
"My point still stands: you need more tactfulness."
"I can be tactful when I want to."
"Oh? Do you mind showing me?" she challenges, eyebrow shooting up in comical fashion.
Before I could even begin thinking of some witty comeback, my phone rings:
'Sayori'
I look to Monika who only nods as I pick up the call.
"Himura! I need help!" Sayori begs at the other end of the line. My heart drops.
"What's wrong!"
Monika at my side also looks concerned.
"Yuri and Natsuki... You- you gotta!"
With that I mute myself as I turn to Monika.
"Sorry Monika, gotta do something! See you tomorrow!"
And with that I leave Monika alone.
So you might be asking yourself:
Why the fuck did the dokis get philosophical?
Well, it's because that's where the whole idea for this fic came from! I had a dream that the meaning of life was given to me by anime women, though it's stuff I've told myself / heard before. Then after that? Just a recurring dream of anime women telling me to take my schizo pills. I just wanted to write this in homage to that dream, and one of the more recent iterations too.
Other than that?
We're going to be zooming through days and finding out what makes Natsuki tick, Monika crack, Yuri snap, and Sayori pop!
Other than that?
Ciao!
