Author's Note
Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!
Any dialogue you recognize is from New Moon. PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(
Ch 13
"What's that about?" Bella asked, watching Seth and Alice through the front window of the big white house. The two were obscured by fat drops of rain littering the glass as they whispered quietly enough so as not to be heard outside as she and Jake walked briskly down the drive.
"I'm honestly not entirely sure," Jacob admitted, briefly glancing at the pair as well.
"But it has something to do with imprinting?" she pushed, wanting in on the secret. "Which is what, exactly?"
"Imprinting is when we find our soulmate. It only takes one look. Then this powerful, instinctive bond forms. All consuming. Utterly unbreakable. Eternal. Sam had it with Leah's cousin, Emily. It's why Sam broke Leah's heart in the first place," he explained uncomfortably.
"And Seth…with Alice?" she gasped, unable to withhold her incredulity.
Jacob shook his head, sending drops of water, warmed by his unnaturally high temperature, splattering against her face. Bella hardly blinked. The weather didn't bother her anymore. Apparently, the same was true for Jake, considering he had yet to don a shirt and water was tracing rivulets over the ridges of his pectoral and abdominal muscles.
"No. Only a male wolf can imprint on a female human. Probably has to do with genetics and passing on the wolf gene." Well, that explained the sad expression Edward had worn earlier when he'd looked between the two. Alice had always been his favorite. He probably wished she could have had the mystical guarantee of love…particularly after his own experience. "But…he's convinced he would have if she were still alive." Bella didn't bother arguing the "alive" comment. They'd never see fully eye-to-eye on that.
Besides, she was too busy marveling at the rest of what he'd said. Imprinting. Magical soulmate. It was an intriguing idea. One she'd never thought to imagine. Even if it hadn't actually happened. But if it brought Alice the sort of happiness she'd found with Jazz, then Bella was all for it.
"What do you think?"
"I was in his head. I felt what he felt," Jake said vaguely.
"And?" she pressed, wanting to know everything.
"This…almost imprinting has never happened before, but…yeah, maybe. It certainly felt similar, so it's probably the best description," he allowed, offering her a wistful smile as he stared rather intently her way.
Bella was suddenly uneasy, recalling the feelings he'd once had for her. He didn't think the same was true for him with her, right? Or was he just wishing he had a similar connection. Hopefully, it was the latter. The notion was rather romantic.
"You said eternal? Like vampire, eternal, or until death do we part, eternal?" she asked, wishing to change the subject, and suddenly worried there might be an expiration date on Alice's happily ever after.
"We don't age as long as we continue shifting," Jake admitted, meeting her assessing gaze. "We're as immortal as vampires if we chose to be."
"Wow," she remarked, not having expected that news. Not in her wildest dreams. "I'd been surrounded by people not aging when I lived here before. It's enough to give a girl a complex about aging."
"You were hardly ancient when you were turned. And being eternally eighteen doesn't seem very appealing. It severely limits your options. At least we'll appear in our mid twenties until we stop shifting."
"Whatever," Bella huffed, rolling her eyes and pushing her damp hair behind her shoulder. She was grateful it wasn't the stringy mess that resembled a drowned rat it would have been if she'd been human.
He didn't get what it had been like for her…seeing the supernatural world, but having it be just out of reach. All those factors used to remind her how she'd never be part of their world. Until Laurent bit her. Then she'd gladly accepted the prospect of repeating high school in an endless loop because it meant being one of them. It meant being her true self.
"Maybe those two are a good thing," he suggested, returning to the topic of Alice and Seth. "It'll certainly go a long way towards building bridges between our people and cementing the ties that already exist."
"Why does that matter so much to you?" she asked, dreading the answer and shifting deliberately. Not because her legs were tired, but to have a distraction.
"I've really missed our friendship. With everything going on recently, it'd have been nice to get lost for a few hours fixing a motorcycle in the garage," he said frankly, lying and playing games not really something he'd participate in. Especially when the subject truly mattered.
"You have the pack though, right?"
"I'm supposed to be in charge. I can't really lean on them or show how affected I am by everything. They need me to be strong," he admitted, sadness overtaking him. The pressure he was under, given recent events, was nearly palpable.
"That sounds awfully lonely, Jake," Bella whispered, heart going out to her friend. He'd been there for her at her lowest. She wished to do the same for him now.
"It is," he agreed. A second later he shrugged, offering an easy smile that didn't come close to reaching his dark, dark eyes. They reminded her of an empty room in the dead of night just then. The vast nothing engulfing the deepest recesses of his soul and leaking out for all to see.
"I'm here for you. We don't have to lose touch again, especially now that we've reconnected," she vowed, not knowing how to make this better for him.
Before, she'd known what he wanted, but he didn't seem to be after that now. Which was good, because Jasper held her heart more securely than Edward ever could have dreamed of. If his leaving had punched a hole through her heart, losing Jasper would be the equivalent of a nuclear blast – the wasteland of Chrenobly would be all that was left behind – toxic devastation for all who encountered it.
"Sure, sure," he said easily, forcing a joviality he obviously didn't feel. Bella let it go, knowing he didn't want her pushing.
"Any other wolfie surprises I should know about?" she asked instead, stopping along the far edge of the property where the treeline began.
The wet air was cool and clean. Refreshing. As though the rain had washed the toxins and pollution straight out of the air. Above her head, the bare branches did little to block the wet flakes of snow drifting down to dust her head and shoulders. Little white puffs cascaded lazily, floating crookedly and hovering like drunken bumblebees. The temperature must have dropped just enough to partially transform to a dreary, slushy mix. Just in time for Christmas.
It wasn't until she saw the snow that she realized she hadn't done any shopping for the family yet. Perhaps after the fight they could check out a few places in Seattle. If they were successful, they might even get done and make it back to Canada before Christmas Eve. However, seeing the house and Jake reminded her that Forks would always be her first home, even more than Phoenix. But wherever Jasper was, was fine with her.
"Nope," he said, popping his P.
"Not even mind reading?"
"I already knew Seth shared that with you," he laughed, grinning genuinely. "Pretty cool though, right?"
"You were really afraid of becoming a wolf before it happened. Do you still feel that way?"
"Some days, yeah," he said, nodding. "But it also feels right. And the speed is a pretty cool bonus – we're faster than you guys."
"Destiny," Bella remarked, the simplicity and rightness of the word fitting more aptly than she could properly verbalize. Her becoming a vampire and ending up with Jasper felt preordained. Just like their alliance with the wolves to take on Victoria did now.
"Listen, I should get back to the res and finalize arrangements before tonight. Smooth things over. The others won't be happy about more of you coming here."
"Our cousins coming is a good thing – don't forget that," Bella added, knowing he was mostly referring to that. Paul and Jared wouldn't readily go along with the idea. It was bound to make life even more difficult for Jacob in the coming days.
And if Leah was sticking by the Cullen residence, they'd have to deal with her protests directly. Great.
"If you say so," he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face roughly. A small smile lit his face though as he saw something beyond her, "At least they follow your diet."
Bella smiled as well, not for his joke, but because she'd sensed Jazz's arrival. The only time she felt truly complete as well as the sense of rightness that accompanied his presence was when his arms slipped around her waist as he did then, just before dropping a kiss on the top of her head.
She barely noticed Jacob's departure, already too wrapped up in Jazz. "You didn't hover," she remarked, referring to the fight.
Bella turned in his arms and stepped until her back came up against the trunk of a tree. Jazz shadowed her movements, not letting the space separating them grow more than an inch.
"I know you can handle yourself," he replied confidently, bending forward to nuzzle her neck. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fought to take unnecessary breaths.
That sort of trust was addictive, boosting her self-esteem, but still she questioned, "Can I?" Part of her seriously doubted it. The other vamp had managed to bite her. She'd not destroyed any of them. Victoria had gotten away. Added together, it hardly screamed badass on her part.
"Yes. I've no doubt you would have figured a way out of her hold even if I hadn't intervened…you did with Victoria," Jazz praised, letting her feel his pride in how she'd handled herself. Bella felt his desire too. Watching her fight had turned him on. She could relate.
"She still bit me," Bella muttered, undeniably disgruntled over the fact.
"Darlin', trust me – you were extraordinary. But there's no substitution for experience. I could spend years training you, but it'll never truly prepare you for the real thing. That vamp probably fought daily just to stay alive. She'd likely already won dozens of fights…that's how it is in the beginning when you have that many newborns forced together," Jasper said soothingly, running his hands down her back to settle low on her hips. "You held your own easily. Next time you'll do even better."
"Experience… I've been training. You've described your first months and decades. Why wasn't it enough?" she wondered, having seen for herself how lethally skilled he was. Each action had been fluid and deadly when he'd faced off with Victoria earlier.
"Hearing about what could happen isn't the same as feeling it. Until it's happened, you won't be properly motivated to avoid it," he said, eyes darkening when she leaned into him. Sparks danced over her skin, little pinpoints of energy everywhere their bodies touched. "And it's like I said earlier. I taught you to fight vampires, not newborns. I didn't foresee the need for this."
"You'll show me the differences later tonight?"
"Yes. I've a few things in mind to help. Emmett can do a pretty good impersonation of a newborn – his fighting style is already close. That's probably why you did as well as you did today…been practicing with him for ages. I assume Edward will insist on sticking close to Alice. He feels guilty for leaving her today."
"No wonder he was in such a bad mood."
"Yes. Seth probably will be glued to her as well. He's already half in love, so he is extremely motivated to protect Alice."
"He is," Bella agreed, curious if Jasper's gift was sensitive enough to detect any differences between a true imprint bond and what Seth felt for Alice. Sam was the only wolf Jake had mentioned imprinting, but he was gone. Did any of the others have imprints? Would she find out tonight when the two groups merged for a training session? "You think Emmett will mimic a newborn," Bella stated knowingly, thinking about later. It had been weeks since she fought her brother, but she had a feeling this would be a bit different from what she was used to.
"Yes. He's going to relish not holding back, especially now that he's the strongest one of us again."
"Speaking of holding back… You've always been so controlled when we trained. Why didn't you really let go?" Bella inquired, pressing more fully into him, seeking more of the joyous burn that he ignited within her.
"Aside from not wanting to actually inflict pain on you?" he asked huskily, voice turning raspy as his hands gripped her harder.
"Yes."
"If I didn't, I might have lost myself in the moment…especially before we were together." His meaning was impossible to mistake, particularly after he shifted his hips until she felt the outline of his thick cock rubbing against her pelvis.
"You wouldn't have hurt me," Bella gasped, utterly certain.
"I wanted you. For months, my instincts screamed to claim you in every physical way possible. If I'd unleashed them at all, I might have inadvertently pressed the issue before you were ready," he admitted.
Bella believed him. Yes, it was probably for the best that she'd sorted things out with Edward before becoming involved with Jasper, but considering where they were at now, she couldn't imagine regretting it should it have happened sooner.
It was easy to picture how it would have happened too. Their first time played out with perfect recall in her mind. It had started wild and fervent. The emotions during a hunt similar to those she'd experienced while fighting. It might have been the same, but without the conscious choice on both of their parts for it to happen. Bella was certain he would have come back to himself, because he wasn't the out-of-control monster he still occasionally viewed himself as, but she'd probably have been confused, having needed more time to see what was in front of her.
"I love you," she breathed, tipping her head back to accept the kiss Jazz covered her lips with. His tongue easily swept into her mouth, briefly dueling with her before it ended.
He kept his forehead against hers as Jazz asked, "How was it, reconnecting to your human life?"
Bella inhaled, taking in the scent of red cedar and Douglas fir. The odor of decaying underbrush littering the forest floor, collected all autumn. The aroma of elderberry and huckleberry bushes, distinguishable even in early winter sans fruit. When her eyes opened, she saw unfurled ferns and browned leaves, slowly being buried in a frosting of sparkling snowflakes. Turning her head, she saw the big white house. It wasn't familiar, not really, yet she associated it with memories of family and laughter and belonging.
Again, she was forced to acknowledge that Forks was her original home. The place she'd always have a desire to return to.
"I missed Jacob, even if I didn't know it before I spoke with him," Bella confessed, feeling warmth unfurl through her core at the evidence that her wellbeing mattered enough for him to ask such a question. It had been the same for her when they'd traveled to Forks. She'd known the idea of fighting would remind him of his time with Maria. "It's different between us now, but we still share some sort off connection."
"He's confused. He thought he loved you, but now he's not sure," Jasper informed her clinically, making it clear he was simply relaying an observation he'd made using his particular talents.
"Does it bother you?" Bella wondered, frowning. Jazz knew she had a history, and it wasn't as though she could control how others felt about her, but given how he was already contending with Edward's lingering feelings, she hated the idea of piling this on top of all the rest.
"No," he quickly reassured her, trailing kisses over the arch of her cheekbone. "I know your heart."
"It's yours," she acknowledged easily. There was no other truth in the world that she was as convinced of.
"Yes," Jasper drawled, one side of his lips tipping up with feline charm. "He doesn't understand what drives him to seek you out, he only knows it's important."
"I think it's because his position leaves him incredibly isolated," Bella said sadly, thinking about when Jake had nearly admitted as much to her. She doubted he'd appreciate her sharing that information with others, but Jasper didn't count. Bella would never keep secrets from her mate.
"Probably. He's a leader. He has to be strong for their sake, even when he's hurting himself." There was something about the way he spoke that clearly told Bella he understood. Had it been like that for him when he'd been in charge of Maria's army? A pang reverberated through her chest at the idea of him ever suffering. If it was in her power, Bella would never allow him to know anything but bliss moving forward.
Jazz pulled her impossibly closer, and they wrapped one another in the physical presence of their arms and the emotional embrace of eternally enduring love.
"Speaking of the past and being alone…how are you holding up being so close to Charlie and not seeing him?"
"He lost me nearly a year ago. He's had time to grieve," she said evasively, unwilling to let past demons taint the moment with black tar.
"I asked about you, not him," he pressed.
Bella inhaled again, this time only concentrating on the comforting scent of the old southern that always caressed Jasper, and knew that if the loss of her father had shattered her, Jasper would have been there to pick up the pieces and repair the damage. Knowing that made her unbreakable. With him, she was whole. Complete.
"It's strange, but I'm all right. He wasn't really a part of my life until I moved to Forks, and I was only here a year – most of which I was obsessing over Edward or mourning his departure. From what I remember, Charlie and I barely spoke and he was often working or fishing."
Bella leaned her head back to see his liquid, metallic eyes, framed by long, soothy lashes. She fought back the wince that came when the movement made her bite sting. An unwanted reminder that there was more fighting to come.
"Three days. Same as the turning," Jasper promised, noticing and trying to offer encouragement.
"Great," she muttered, making him chuckle deeply.
"That, along with training the wolves and waiting for the Denalis is why we are waiting to make the next move," he said, glancing back at the house.
She wondered if he felt Alice's pain as though it was his own. He'd been so worried about their sister. Bella couldn't help but admire how calm and controlled he'd been as he took command of the situation earlier and helped de-escalate the tension while also fixing Alice up.
"I can't wait until this is over and we're home again," she said, wishing they could disappear for another six weeks right then. She'd spend the entirety of it worshiping his perfect body and showering him with the gratitude and reverence that such an exquisite man deserved.
The inky pupils of his eyes grew, swallowing up the golden hue of his irises. Excess venom pooled in her mouth. Lust. His gift felt tangible, and it happened to be currently stroking her between her legs. Desire igiting fierce and quick as lightning. "Let's hunt tomorrow," he suggested huskily. "The woods around here are magnificent."
"Tomorrow?" He actually expected them to wait that long? What about Alice's vision? Honestly, Bella was surprised she'd managed to restrain herself from tearing off all of his clothes the second he reached her outside – Jacob be damned.
Jazz leaned perceptibly closer to her, a low rumble erupting in the miniscule space separating them. It was all the prompting Bella needed to grab the waistband of his pants and haul him in for a kiss. His tongue dove in, lapping at her own. The sweet taste of his mouth was like a shot of adrenaline, similar to the rush she'd experienced while fighting.
All too soon, he pulled back, chuckling at the noise of protest that escaped her and grinning as though he hadn't a care in the world, and nothing else existed beyond her. But then he had her hand, and he was leading them down a worn path in the woods, the house behind them no more than a memory as the branches encased them, shielding them from view.
They'd traveled perhaps half a mile when Jazz released her hand to pull off his shirt, letting it drop behind him as he continued running, ducking under a dipping branch without pausing or slowing. Bella wasn't entirely certain where he was leading them, but she took his cue and tossed off her shirt as well, throwing it back to land near his.
More clothing followed, strewn behind them like breadcrumbs marking their journey. They were about three miles out when the final item was removed. Frigid drops of melted snow and rain leaked through the barren branches or slid off evergreen needles, but it was easy to ignore.
Bella gladly dropped a few paces behind so she could stare at the rippling muscles of Jazz's back, his nicely tapered waist, and most of all, his freshly bared bum as he ran, the sight bringing more venom surging into her mouth in anticipation of grabbing it while he pistoned into her, pinning her to the soft earth.
The fantasy had barely played out in her mind when he veered into her, sending her cascading into a tree – a move that only happened because she let herself be shoved. Her hands came up to brace against the thick trunk just as she felt him at her back, one foot planted between her legs as he used it to nudge her legs further apart. Bella gasped at the suddenness, but readily complied, and was rewarded by the feel of his arm caging her torso, his hand easily reaching to cup her breast.
"Oh, yes! Please, Jazz," she begged.
A needy moan seemed squeezed out of her when he pinched the budded tip of her nipple between two fingers, tugging urgently. The sharp sensation was in stark contrast to the flutters in her clit, caused by the crown of his impressive cock brushing over it.
"Now," she ordered, the word coming out more of an animalistic hiss than a legitimate command.
He didn't respond with words. Rather, he let her feel the way his need matched her own. It only made her more impatient and heightened the tension twisting her nerves into a coil of blinding passion.
Then he was inside her. Seated to the hilt, his weight on her back bending her forward to allow him deeper within the tight channel.
Bella's fingers curled, sinking easily into the tree itself, the sturdy bark offering no resistance as it behaved like bread dough. Jasper's hips retreated, his groin no longer touching the swell of her bum, and she instinctively pressed back, seeking to follow him. His engorged cock rubbed along the sensitive tissue as he withdrew, then he plunged forward again, making her exhale in a loud rush.
After that, their joining was fast. Frenzied. Hard. Life affirming.
Just a few short hours before, they'd both been in danger. They could have been injured as Alice was. They could have died. But they didn't. And this, more than anything else, was a reminder.
Bella continued turning the tree trunk to so much applesauce as Jazz used his enhanced speed to take her from behind. It was primal and wild, and her head spun from the way he worked her over, using his hands to sculpt her breasts and massage her clit in time with his rough thrusts. She shouted her encouragement and he responded with sensations of pleasure intermingled with pride and satisfaction.
She was lost in no time at all, Jasper erupting within her moments after she shattered, her climax destroying all shreds of her remaining composure.
If it wasn't for her unnatural ability to remain motionless, her legs would have long since given out beneath her. As it was, she was lost in a haze of bliss for several moments. The feel of Jasper's lips pressing a tender kiss to the crook of her neck as he nuzzled the spot she'd been bitten served as a tether that guided her back into herself.
He sensed the change and shifted back, slipping out of the sheath of her body, but not letting go of her. Then he leaned back, falling to the ground and pulling her with him. Bella laughed in surprise, twisting around until she was settled over him, straddling his hips and taking in his contented smile.
It was easy to sense that he wanted her again, both from the hardness jutting up against her belly and from the tendrils of his gift. Bella reached down to wrap her fingers around the base of his shaft and stroked his length, twisting and squeezing the tip just a touch.
His eyes closed, and he groaned, "Bella."
The single word, her name, was whispered like a benediction. He managed to infuse those two syllables with a wealth of reverence and love.
She teased him a bit more, lightening her touch until it was nearly imperceptible and he was shifting beneath her, close to grabbing her hands and making her give him what he so desperately craved.
"Darlin', you're killin' me," he drawled, finally allowing his hands to wander over her and play as well. The rough pad of his thumb just barely grazed her clit.
Bella's back arched, and she hummed in pleasure, canting her hips to increase the pressure.
"That's cheating," Jazz accused, keeping his touch frustratingly light.
"But I need more," she whined.
"Then ride me. Give us both what we want," he suggested, deliberately flicking her clit then giving it three taps that made her vision go temporarily blurry.
"Yes," Bella agreed, rising up and positioning his cock at her entrance. She was slick and ready, and he moved easily through her folds.
As he filled her, Bella taking him in, inch by agonizingly blissful inch, she relished the feeling of joining with her other half. It was right. Perfect. Eternal.
This round wasn't as out of control or mindless as the first. Their earlier joining had been about reassurance and instinct. This was completely emotional. All barriers were down, and Jasper was a conduit reflecting back all that existed between them.
Bella dropped kisses on Jasper's chest, peppering across the broad, hard expanse and rocked her hips gently, prolonging the moment. When he sat up to hold her tight, Bella feasted on his mouth, weaving her hands in his loose curls to keep him glued to her.
"You are everything to me," Jasper murmured, squeezing her impossibly closer until they truly felt as one.
"All I ever wanted," Bella agreed, leaning into his palm when he cupped her cheek and added, "more than."
Every tender caress and soft word tipped them closer to the edge. The peak, when it came, was a glowing warmth that slowly trickled from her core out to every cell in her body. Bliss in its purest form. Intoxicating and addictive.
"I wish we could stay here for ages," Bella lamented, knowing they couldn't.
"The others will arrive shortly," Jasper sighed, reluctantly releasing his unyielding hold on her.
They redressed quickly on the way back, adding pieces one at a time as they retraced their path, guided by the trail of discarded garments. The dreary weather meant they were all soggy and wet. Bella ended up accidentally ripping the hem of her shirt as she tried to untangle the sodden cotton that refused to cooperate. Luckily, it wasn't too noticeable. She was also grateful that she was incapable of chafing as she tugged her wet, denim jeans on.
The house wasn't in view yet when Leah passed in front of them, fur ruffling along the length of her spine. Bella was about to say hello when the pale grey wolf growled, continuing to pace back and forth across the path and making her displeasure known, but she made no other threatening gesture. It was a far less hostile gesture than when they'd met earlier, but it was still a long way off from friendly.
After a few indeterminable seconds, they both ignored her, though Bella had to resist trying to make a more blatant overture, realizing it'd be unwelcome at this point, and might just serve to agitate the wolf further instead.
The sound of snores resonated from inside the house, and it was such an unusual sound that Bella was momentarily captivated. It was a noise she'd not once heard since turning.
Jazz squeezed her hand, leaving her just before they reached the front door. He zipped away, ostensibly to change into dry clothes then find other members of the family while leaving Bella to have a reasonably private conversation with Alice, since that's who she sensed was with the individual currently filling the family room with an impersonation of a chainsaw.
The assessment turned out to be spot on. Bella joined Alice where the pixie was watching Seth sleeping loudly on the sofa. They were due to meet up with the wolves in about an hour for training, so he must be napping while he could. It was bound to be a long night.
She stood beside her sister, not wanting to sit and later face Esme when her mom noticed the stain from her wet clothes. Pointedly, she nudged Alice's shoulder to prompt her into confessing.
"When I first woke to this life…I was scared. Everything was dark – then and before. I had no memory and I was all alone. It was terrifying, but then I saw Jasper. I saw myself finding him…and us joining this family, being happy. It took years to happen, but I haven't been scared since – until today. The darkness was back. I was all alone again…and I thought I was going to die," Alice said quietly, careful not to wake the sleeping wolf. Her utterance was raw. A fresh scab picked open, festering and oozing and unable to heal.
"Alice…."
"Then he saved me," she went on, ignoring Bella's sympathy. "I don't truly understand why, but he did. Then he was there again when I was in pain. He helped me through it."
Considering the lingering sting in her own bite, Bella could imagine how much worse Aice was currently feeling.
"I'm so glad he did," Bella admitted, reaching for Alice's hand. She clasped it tightly, seeking the pressure to reassure herself that her sister really was all right and there with her.
"But why? I don't get it," Alice asked, shaking her head and looking back to Seth's sleeping form. He looked so young and innocent as he laid there. Bella wondered how old he was. Jake was about to turn seventeen, so Seth must only be sixteen. He looked nearly a decade older. Behaved as though he was as well. Bella doubted she'd ever met a more mature teen before in her life.
"He's more open-minded than the rest," Bella ventured, reading that much about the wolf from their limited interactions and from how everyone else reacted.
"I've never needed anybody's help before," Alice grumbled, obviously frustrated.
"You've never been blind before," Bella pointed out, shrugging helplessly when Alice pinned her with an accusing glare.
Alice huffed, exhaling long and pointedly before admitting, "It's quiet when he's around."
Suddenly, Bella realized Alice's eyes hadn't glazed over once since they'd begun talking. Usually, she couldn't go more than five seconds, even when she was still able to converse coherently. Occasionally the visions were so consuming she couldn't even do that. She'd speak in broken fragments or not at all until they settled, but now….
Alice had once compared her visions to standing in an electronics shop, surrounded by various televisions that were all playing something different at full volume. Disorienting and distracting. It took tremendous effort for her to focus on the present and drown out all the possible futures demanding to be known and witnessed in her mind. Withstanding the onslaught would be impossible for anyone that didn't possess a more extensive vampire mind.
That sort of challenge wasn't one Bella had any familiarity with. So she very cautiously, and curiously, asked, "Peaceful?"
"Yes, and that's great, but…but my visions are what make me special. Who am I without them?"
Alice couldn't truly be doubting herself. It was impossible. She wasn't so highly valued because of her contribution to the family. Nor was she defined by such a limited descriptor. She was more. So much more.
Were the visions useful? Undoubtedly. But they weren't the sum total of Alice. It was true that everyone had a role within the family, and Alice was often in charge of keeping watch to protect everyone, but she was also the humor and optimist, among other things. Bella was starting to think her role was helping the members see themselves more clearly – just as they were doing the same for her.
"Alice. Mary Alice Brandon Cullen," Bella answered readily, steel underlying her words. "One of us. My sister. Always."
"I laughed at a joke he told me this morning," she replied, accepting Bella's words and returning to the turbulent confusion Seth had stirred up within her.
"Was it funny?"
"Not really," Alice admitted, but the huge smile stretching across her face said that wasn't the point. "But he surprised me. It was the first time I ever heard a joke where I didn't know the punchline before the person said it."
Bella honestly didn't know what to say. She'd never had a particularly easy time conversing, and was often too uncomfortable to joke around with most people. Yet she could see how it would be infinitely worse to always know the punchline or have to wait as someone repeated what you'd already heard them saying. All humor would feel forced and false, and interactions tedious and boring.
"I've always been jealous of that with the others. You laugh all the time with Jazz," Alice said wistfully.
"I do," Bella confirmed, recalling just the day before when Jazz had made a joke that had her rolling on the ground laughing with Emmett. With him it was easy, the rarity, but she cherished it all the more as a result.
Alice returned to watching Seth. Bella looked as well, watching as a lock of his sable hair fell across his forehead when he leaned towards Alice's hand where it hovered just out of reach. It was very nearly proof of a mystical connection joining the two. She stretched, her fingers just brushing his cheek and making him shiver. Unconsciously, he sought more of her touch, his nose twitching as the lock of hair tickled his nose. He really was beautiful, and even in sleep, he wanted more of Alice.
"He's a werewolf," she commented, seeing precisely what Bella had noticed. Her fingers trailed over the crest of his cheek, wondering at the trust he demonstrated by sleeping so soundly in his enemy's lair.
"Does that matter?" Bella wondered, studying Alice closely.
"I…don't know," she said tentatively, a look of blatant uncertainty pinching her face. "What if it turns out we aren't compatible?"
"I think his immediate reaction to you already discounts that one," she pointed out, unable to keep from rolling her eyes at Alice's ridiculousness.
"Or what if it's like you and Edward, and he's only infatuated with me?"
"Why would you think that?" Bella gasped, having not expected such a concern.
"We know nothing about each other," Alice admitted frankly, already back to staring wonderingly at Seth.
"Then learn. You've got nothing but time, seeing as neither of you are getting any older," Bella suggested adamantly.
"You're right, that's true," Alice acknowledged, sitting up more, but then she frowned, concern twisting her features unnaturally. "I don't want to hurt him or get hurt myself."
Bella studied Alice, realizing her sister had never once taken a chance without knowing the outcome. That was the price of her gift. But she'd probably never have a chance at true happiness if she didn't take the leap now.
"There's always a risk of that. But better to try than let your heart turn to stone," Bella said flatly, remembering the time she'd just been waiting for Edward to return. Nothing had mattered. She'd not really lived. It wasn't a true existence. How was the life Alice was living any different? It wasn't. And it wouldn't be unless she let Seth in.
"I've never taken a chance, not really," Alice acknowledged, thoughts in line with Bella's. "Facing the unknown is…intimidating," she admitted, voicing her true fear.
Alice had a point. For someone that always knew what the future held, it would probably be terrifying to suddenly know nothing. Her heart went out to her sister, hating to see her looking so forlorn and lost.
"It's not entirely unknown. He's clearly smitten with you," Bella pointed out practically.
"That part I'm all right with," she said readily, biting her lip as she realized what she'd admitted just before she burst into giggles.
"Oh, you are?" Bella teased, nudging Alice's side.
She sobered slightly, taking in Seth's sleeping form, undisturbed by their conversation. She shook her head, appearing amazed. "Hmph. Have you seen him?"
Bella rolled her eyes. Seth had nothing on Jazz, but he definitely wasn't bad looking.
Movement on the other side of the living room window drew Bella's attention. Leah was standing there, still shifted. She looked even less hostile than she had earlier. Had Alice noticed her as well? No. Probably not. She was too intent on studying Seth to take in much else. He held her entire attention. Hopefully this conversation would help Leah to see that Alice had no ulterior motives and was equally swept up with the wolf.
Was that why Leah had dared approach the house? Or was she there because it was time to go. They'd probably need to leave soon and venture further from town to avoid detection while the two groups trained.
"He's…," Alice trailed off, unable to properly describe what she saw in Seth.
"Do you see your future?" Bella asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to prove a point.
"No," Alice confirmed, face scrunching, "but then…I never have."
"Maybe now you know why," Bella suggested pointedly, giving Alice a knowing look.
"You think Seth is the reason?" Alice gasped, as though never having considered the possibility beforehand.
"I think I want to see my sister happy – no matter what," Bella offered, giving Alice's hand a final reassuring squeeze before she left her to wake the man that all signs pointed to being her future.
Bella launched forward, wrapping her arms securely around Emmett and knocking him off his feet as she flew at him from the side, taking advantage of his distraction as he faced off with Jasper. As soon as he was on the ground, Jacob lunged forward to snort wetly against Emmett's freshly exposed neck. Emmett made a noise of disgust and used his shirt to wipe at a string of drool stretching from him to Jake's jaw. Bella cringed at the sight as well, but didn't comment.
Jacob's jaws opened in what was undeniably a wolfish smile. Bella returned the grin, enjoying the victory and their renewed friendship.
"And you're dead. Again," Jazz mocked, smirking at his brother. Emmett bounced up and playfully shoved Jasper's shoulder.
"Doesn't count," he insisted petulantly.
It was the third time they'd taken him down in the last ten minutes. Their little trio was about as cohesive as it was ever going to be. Guess that's what happens after a week of training seven to eight hours a day. They'd learned to use each other's strengths and read their tells. It also helped that Jacob and Jasper seemed to genuinely like one another, frequently joking around and talking about engines – an interest Bella was just discovering Jazz had. Probably, the fact that they were both strategic leaders meant they were predisposed to relate to one another and helped cement their immediate friendship.
Bella tried, and failed, to temper her smug smile as she watched Emmett stomp his way back over to his own grouping.
There were fourteen total vampires, including the Denalis who'd arrived within the first day, and nine wolves gathered in the mountain clearing. Jasper and Jake had worked together to assign everyone into five groups of four, apart from their grouping of three, including Bella. The groups were designed for the members to work together, with the vampires restraining Victoria's army while the wolves decapitated them. Each day the practice takedowns got more and more efficient, and the tentative truces grew less shaky. The wolves were all for being the ones to do the actual destroying. This arrangement also proved to put the wolves in the least danger, since Jake had admitted the venom didn't hurt or turn them – getting bitten was a death sentence.
They'd paired the youngest wolf, Jordan, barely eleven, with Jared, Carlisle and Esme. Jake was counting on Esme's maternal side to make the wolf feel comfortable and for it to make the Cullen matriarch go to great lengths to protect the young pup.
Another group comprised of the second youngest wolf, Levi, along with Paul, Rosalie and Emmett. After a tense couple of days, Paul and Emmett had discovered they were actually quite similar and were now, if not exactly getting on, at least able to work together with the common goal of taking out as many vamps as possible. They even had plans to keep a running tally during the showdown. Boys.
The third group consisted of Embry and Brady with Tanya and Kate. They seemed to be the least hostile group, though that could have just been because they were a bit afraid of Kate's electrifying touch. Embry kept insisting on trying it out, as though the end result might change if he simply braced himself against it harder. It didn't work, needly to say.
Then there was the group of wolf siblings, Seth and Leah, paired with Alice and Edward. Jazz had been right about Edward's guilt. He was determined not to let anything else happen to Alice. Seth, likewise, felt that desire. Seth and Alice had become nearly inseparable this week, never far from each other's sides. The duo were already so sappy and engrossed with one another that they mostly ignored Leah and Edward's constant bickering and sniping at each other. Leah wasn't spending as much time in her wolf form as she did the first day at the house. But this wasn't turning out to be any sort of improvement. As soon as her vocal cords morphed, she'd start in with the insults and taunts that Edward was apparently incapable of ignoring. It was grating on everyone's nerves and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.
The final group was the only one without any wolves. Irina, Laurent, Eleazer and Carmen had been deliberately paired together. Given Laurent's history with Victoria, his slip up when he bit Bella, and his relatively recent diet change, they did not want him with any wolves, a fact he seemed very all right with.
Of all the Denalis, Bella liked Kate the most by far. Several times she found herself wishing she'd had more time to get to know them before they'd moved. But there would be time for that later. Kate had even agreed to help Bella learn to control her gift in the future, but everyone had agreed that there was no point working on it yet. Few, if any, of the newborns would be gifted, and even fewer would have worrisome control over it.
The knowledge hadn't stopped her from trying on her own though. It felt like a weak, limp muscle that had atrophied after a lifetime of neglect and disuse. Even trying to expand it or get a sense of it was exhausting and left Bella feeling both drained and frustrated.
Fortunately, Alice was having much better luck at manipulating her own soothsaying abilities. Now, when she really concentrated, she could see around the wolves to some of the decisions the various Cullens would make. It wasn't always clear, but it was already more than where she'd been initially. She'd even discovered that trying to force her gift wasn't painful if Seth was close by. His presence also seemed to give her better control of what she saw, instead of the constant bombardment of irrelevant decisions that she was used to.
The slow return of her ability to see the future, unfortunately, did not extend to allowing her to foresee the outcome of their fight with Victoria and her army. While Alice was able to conclude that Victoria had fifteen vampires left under her control as of yesterday, there were simply too many factors and variables involved to predict how things would go.
"What do you think, Jasper?" Carlisle called across the clearing.
"We're as ready as we'll ever be," he stated objectively, a general surveying his troops. Bella admired his proud baring as he prowled among the sparing teams, hands resting clasped at the small of his back.
"When?" Edward asked flatly, staring at Jacob in a way that announced the question was actually coming from him, and Edward was just the alpha wolf's mouthpiece.
"Tomorrow morning. Just before dawn. It gives my family time to hunt, and the pack the chance to rest for a few hours," Carlisle said cautiously, glancing at both Jacob and Jasper for support and confirmation of the plan. He might be the unofficial leader of this partnership, but he didn't run it like a dictatorship. No, Carlisle was too respectful and intelligent for that. He recognized the value of those with him, and freely sought, then utilized, their input.
"Morning it is then. There's less risk for human casualties if everyone is still at home abed," Jasper cited by way of agreement.
Tomorrow. Eight or nine hours at most.
It was finally time to end this.
