Chapter 4: Something to Celebrate
A/N: I enjoyed writing Jake in this chapter. He doesn't have the burdens or bitterness that the others do. I have a headcanon that he and Sinclair were friends. I'm not sure where that came from. Also, I have no idea what Abby's father did on the Ark, but seeing as Bellamy continually referred to Clarke as Ark royalty, I thought that maybe Jake and Abby weren't the first generation of their family to serve on the council. (Gona: warrior)
It took two days for the rest of Farm Station to move their people and supplies to Arkadia. There was a definite difference between the experiences the majority of the people from Alpha station found when they landed then those who had fallen into Azgeda territory. Although Lexa and her grounders had abandoned the kids trapped in Mount Weather, only those who spend time in the bunker were suffering from that betrayal. There was a fear of grounders for sure, but the inhabitants of Arkadia had not watched their people be picked off one by one.
To help with the unrest between Pike's people, the original hundred, and those from Alpha station, Abby had organized a celebration to honor those who had been lost and those who had been found. By order of Chancellor Griffin, everyone was to have a good time. And for now, everyone was. There were two bonfires going: one by the food and the other near where Wick and Sinclair had set up speakers for music. One of the things that had been scavenged from Mount Weather had been old electronics that stored music from various genres and decades.
Octavia had started the dancing. It was something she had only done once in her life- and that night had been a complete disaster. But she wasn't thinking about her past, the empty place under the floor, or her mother tonight. Tonight she was free again, just like she had been when the dropship first landed on Earth; before people started dying.
There were others around her, but she kept glancing over to one of the benches where Lincoln sat alone. He had informed her that gonas did not dance and that he would only be partaking in the food tonight. Octavia had shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to join her friends in front of the fire. Now, with every move of her hips or hands, she could feel her boyfriend's eyes on her. It was a thrill to know he was watching every move.
Lincoln wasn't smiling, but Octavia could see the affection in his eyes. He wasn't paying attention to anyone else in the crowd and it was as if Octavia was performing just for him. Octavia knew that some people thought her relationship with Lincoln was just physical, but she didn't bother to correct them. They wouldn't really understand. Lincoln was a grounder and found the Sky People's courting practices to be bizarre. Octavia had never been one of the Ark, so she went out of her way to be different from the other Arkadians.
So there would never be any huge or loud declarations of love between them. No, they preferred the little moments. Like when Octavia awoke to a drawing on the pillow next to her or when she cooked Lincoln's favorite food the way one of the other seconds from his village had taught her. Between the physical, the amazing sex, there were soft murmurs of love and gentle touches of affection, and that is what made their relationship.
Right now, the proud warrior pushed his way through the dancing crowd to take Octavia's hand. The dark haired girl smirked and placed her hands on his hips instead. "Just move naturally. Hear the music…"
Her hands slid up his chest and they both stepped closer to sway in unison. Lincoln looked around at the other people and commented, "We dance much differently."
Octavia smiled and replied, "There's lots of styles of dancing. My mother use to show me. You should teach me how grounders dance."
Lincoln only nodded in response as he was too preoccupied with trying to copy her movements. Octavia resisted the urge to tease him about how uncomfortable he looked, but he was out here to make her happy. And she loved him for it. She pushed up onto her tiptoes and kissed him.
Some whistling and cheering pulled them from the moment. Nathan Miller was dragging his newly reunited boyfriend, Bryan, away from the table they had been eating at. The couple stated dancing, faces red at the attention. But the people of Arkadia enjoyed a good love story and the moment Bryan had walked through the gates into his boyfriend's arms, there had been tears in many of the onlookers' eyes.
Abby and Jake sat not too far away from the fire, watching the all the people dance. It was nice to see them all smiling and laughing; that didn't happen often in Arkadia. Abby had spent the last week adjusting to having her husband back again. Her initial joy at seeing him had quickly faded into despair as she had to explain to him why she had no idea where their daughter was. Since then, she had continuously pushed Jake away.
There was just too much guilt. Abby felt guilty for turning him into Jaha and for not fighting harder to keep Clarke from being sent to lockup. Then there was the added guilt of sending their only daughter to Earth and not being able to protect her from what they found on the ground. But she knew the real reason she was having trouble looking her husband in the eye had nothing to do with his 'death' or Clarke's disappearance. After the shock of seeing him had worn off, Abby didn't feel anything. She didn't feel the love or longing for Jake like she had before he had been floated. She didn't anticipate his touch with bated breath or feel the warmth pooling in her stomach at his kiss.
"You're disobeying your own rules," stated Jake. For all of Abby's guilt, Jake didn't seem to be holding it against her. In fact, he was so overjoyed to be alive and on Earth, that he hardly noticed her discomfort at all. He nudged her shoulder and winked. "Everyone is supposed to have fun tonight."
Abby rolled her eyes and protested, "I am having fun!"
"No, you're brooding." Jake gently laced his fingers between her own. Although she flinched at the initial touch, she didn't pull away. His face turned solemn and he squeezed her hand. "I know you wish she was here having a good time."
"It's just hard," Abby admitted. "All I want is for her to be happy and I have screwed up so many times…"
"You don't get to carry that by yourself, Abs. I'm the idiot who got himself floated."
"I'm the idiot who turned you in."
"I told you, I don't blame you for that," insisted Jake, but Abby refused to look at him. A thick silence hung in the air. They continued to watch the others dance, eat, and soak in the merriment.
A slightly intoxicated Sinclair plopped down beside the pair. "Chancellor, it is a beautiful night. How are the Griffins doing this fine evening?"
Abby tried to hide her amusement at his drunken state and replied, "Oh, just fine. I see you're enjoying yourself."
"That's an understatement." Kane had walked up behind the three. Apparently he had been making sure Sinclair wasn't getting into trouble.
Sinclair laughed heartily and swore, "I have no idea what any of you are talking about," which caused everyone to laugh.
Kane tried not to stare at Abby. The moments of laughter were few and far between and the light in her eyes filled Kane's heart with joy. But in the same moment, seeing her hand holding onto Jake's, his heart dropped. He had to remember Jake was back- he couldn't slip up anymore. No more lingering looks or unnecessary touches.
"No dancing, Abby?" asked Sinclair.
It was Jake who answered with a chuckle. "Oh, she would love to dance. But unfortunately, she married a man with two left feet. You can take her, if you want."
"Too drunk," joked Sinclair, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Kane? Don't you dance? I'm sure your mother taught you to be a perfect gentlemen."
Kane looked startled at the idea of dancing with Abby. "Huh? What, no I'm just-"
"Come on, Kane," laughed Jake, "She's supposed to be having a good time and she's failing at it."
Abby rolled her eyes and shoved her husband playfully. "I'm fine, I told you. I'm just enjoying watching everyone-"
Jake groaned at her excuses. Kane gave into Sinclair's prodding and reached down to grab Abby's free hand. "Come on, Chancellor Griffin. It's time for you to enjoy yourself."
"Whoo-hoo!" called Sinclair.
Abby allowed a cheekily smiling Kane to pull her to her feet. As he led her to the dancing crowd, she scolded Jake over her shoulder. Sinclair and Jake were laughing too hard to care. Some of the nearby Arkadians cheered to see their Chancellor and Councilor joining them. Kane smirked when he saw Abby blush at the attention.
"Got to give the people what they want." Abby smiled at him and Kane couldn't help but smile back at the light that had come back into her eyes. He knew that she wouldn't be able to completely be able to enjoy herself without her daughter and he also knew that Jake's return with Jaha and the others was weighing on her mind. But Abby was so beautiful when smiled like that.
Hands clasped, they stepped into a dancing position and Kane's hand naturally went to her hip. Tonight her dark hair was out of the normal braid and in waves down her back. Their steps were simple and at first Abby was paying more attention to the people around them than she was at Kane. He didn't mind, because he knew that seeing her original hundred dancing and having a good time would make her happy.
"Thank you." Abby's voice caught Kane by surprise. When he looked down at her in his arms, her brown eyes were locked on his own.
"For what?"
A giggle at his expense escaped her lips. "For dancing with me."
"Always a pleasure, Abby," Kane replied sincerely. Abby's arm slid up from his forearm to behind his neck. The action forced Kane to step in closer and tighten his arm around her waist. Their breath mingled in the cool night air and she began to hum along to the music. Kane leaned his head down to murmur into her ear, "You look beautiful tonight."
There wasn't much lighting besides the fire, but Kane could just make out the flush of her cheeks at his compliment. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Councilor," she teased.
Kane threw back his head and laughed heartily. "I'm just saying, it's good to see you smile again."
"Haven't had much to smile about lately," admitted Abby. She bit her lip before squeezing his hand and adding, "And I haven't thanked you for helping through this."
"That's what I'm here for."
"I mean it, Marcus," she shook her head as he clearly wasn't grasping what she was trying to say. "Thank you for keeping me alive."
Kane didn't know what to say and he had to resist the urge to kiss the top of Abby's head. She didn't seem to mind his lack of response. She leaned her head on Kane's shoulder and they continued their dance. For the first time in a long time, Kane felt content. Or at least, he felt that she was safe, here in his arms swaying back and forth to the music.
There had been nights he had sat outside her room after Clarke left, listening to her cry. He also remembered why he wasn't sleeping in his own room. The nightmares had been overwhelming. Over and over again, Kane watched as the soldiers from the Mountain dragged Abby onto the operating table. He replayed pleading with Cage over and over again in his mind. Sometimes, he woke up when they started drilling. Other times, it was Abby that never woke up after her screams filled his dreams.
But they had survived and she was here, safe in his embrace. Kane felt grounded with her holding on to him. On the back of his neck, she was drawing little circles with her thumb to the beat of the music. Her head was nested just under his jaw when he turned his head. They fit so well together. When they turned, Abby's hips would brush against his. It was intoxicating, dancing like this.
"I could do this all night," he whispered in her ear, knowing that he shouldn't be saying it.
His heart soared when she replied, "Me too."
However, they didn't have all night. The song they were dancing to faded and a louder, much faster one took its place. And by the way Octavia Blake was now dancing against Lincoln, Kane had a feeling it was time for he and Abby to bow out and leave the kids to it. Even though they had both stopped dancing, Kane's hand hadn't left her hip and their hands were still clasped together, although they had fallen by their sides. Kane felt the urge to lean down to kiss her and by the way she was looking at him, he knew that Abby felt the same.
Looking back on the moment later, Kane had no idea if he would have kissed her or not. Before anything could happen, someone had bumped into them and shattered their private moment. Abby had laughed and took a step back, releasing his hand. He had cleared his throat and thanked her for the dance. And then Kane had walked away, leaving Abby with the decision to follow him or go back to Jake, who was still sitting next to the fire, now talking with Jaha.
Abby watched him turn his back to weave through the crowd. For a moment, she almost threw her caution to the wind and ran after him, but she knew herself better than that. Jake was waiting for her. So she made her way back to her husband, knowing she wouldn't see Kane again for the rest of the evening. Before she made it back to where Jake was waiting, a soft hand grabbed her arm.
"I don't dance like they do, but I wouldn't mind a bit of company for a song." Abby turned to see the crinkled smile of Dr. Alistair Whalen. Behind him, she could see that he was referring to Raven and Wick grinding against one another.
With a light laugh, she replied, "Of course, doctor."
Whalen had been her mentor when Abby decided to stray from her father's political occupation to become a doctor. Whalen had never had a child with his husband, so he had gladly taken the young woman as an apprentice. When he had been floated for distributing extra medications, Abby had been devastated.
"How are you, my dear?" The two took a seat on some nearby chairs. "I thought you never wanted what your father had, and yet, here you are as Chancellor."
Abby sighed and tried to think of where to begin telling him of all that had happened since he had been floated. "I joined the Council in your place after…" She couldn't quite say the word 'floated' as that isn't want happened.
Whalen sensed her predicament and prompted her to continue. "Of course that would make sense. You took up as the medical liaison."
"Yes. Then everything happened with Jake and the oxygen problems and we sent those kids to Earth…"
He stopped her by gently placing his hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to feel guilty for that."
"I took an oath to do no harm and now…" Abby let out a sigh and shook her head.
"We're here now, aren't we?"
"But so many people have died to get to this point."
"You have to be here for the living, Abigail. When my Leonard died, I found myself not caring about the consequences of my actions. I knew giving those people the medications was illegal, but being floated no longer seemed like a threat to me. Even when Diana told me that she had decided to send me to Earth instead of the execution, I wasn't relieved. I was ready to be with my husband again."
"And now?"
"Now, as much as I wish that Leonard was here to see the Earth, to see our people dancing and laughing on this Earth, I know that there is so much life left in me. And in you, Abigail." Whalen pressed a kiss to her temple and rose from his chair. "Go celebrate the living, my dear."
Abby didn't move at first when Whalen walked away. She was too lost in what her old mentor had said. Glancing through the crowd, she could see Jake laughing with Jaha and for some reason, it made her smile. Jake wasn't as jaded as the rest of them. Like Whalen, his time on Earth has been peaceful. Maybe that's what Abby needed right now- some peace.
By the time she decided to go back to him, Jake had already said goodbye to Jaha and had two drinks in his hand; presumably one for him and one for her. It was a habit she guessed, to get things for your spouse. And the motions still came so naturally for Jake, because he hadn't spent a year without her.
Putting on a charming smile for her husband, Abby asked, "Are you giving the Chancellor an illegal beverage?" From the flush of his cheeks, she could tell that Jake had already had a bit to drink.
"Of course not," he joked, acting offended. Jake then started to gulp down her entire drink.
Abby laughed and grabbed his arm saying, "No, no, stop! Jake, give me my drink!"
"I thought you didn't partake in illegal beverages?"
"We're here to have a good time, right?" Abby plucked the cup from Jake's grasp and drained what was left of it with one swallow.
Jake raised an eyebrow and said, "I guess I'll get more…"
Abby linked her arm in his and they went back to the bar to pick up two more glasses. They wondered around the crowd for a while, drinking more than just a few glasses. It wasn't long before they stumbled back to the room Jake had been sleeping in. Abby could feel the haze of alcohol and the heat pooling in her stomach. It had been a long time since she had let her libido take control. After Jake was floated, or rather sent to earth, Abby hadn't been attracted to anyone. And when she finally was…well, Jake was here and not Marcus Kane.
Jake was the first to make a move. Her husband knew her well and could read all the signs: the way her breath hitched when he leaned in to kiss her neck or how the hairs on her arm stood up when his fingertips brushed against her skin. Jake didn't bother with pretense as he pulled her shirt over her head nor did Abby hesitate when she returned the favor.
Sex was something Abby had pushed to the back of her mind over a year ago. However, in the past month or so, when she wasn't worried about her daughter or the end of the world, she imaged dragging her finger tips down the solid abdominals of a man's chest. Abby placed her palms on her husband's pectorals and slowly inched them downward to unbutton Jake's pants. Jake kissed her with the passion of a man who had been patiently waiting to make love to his wife.
Abby closed her eyes as she parted her lips to allow his tongue entrance into her mouth. Jake's hands made quick work of her bra and pulled her in to hold her as he continued to kiss her. Abby hiked up her leg to bring their centers closer. Her fingers pulled at Jake's hair and moved down his face to get a better grip. But Jake's face was too smooth beneath her touch; there was no rough beard that had often featured in her dreams.
Jake's arms weren't quite as muscular as the ones she imagined, but they managed to lift her up to lay her down on the bed without much effort. Jake pressed kisses down her stomach and pulled off her pants. Before she knew it, they were laying in the bed, both naked. The kissing and touches grew more frantic and heated as the night wore on. And Abby closed her eyes as her husband entered her, because in that moment, it was another face she was seeing behind her eyelids.
If he noticed something was wrong, Jake never said. In fact, neither spoke a word the entire time. Which was different for them. Abby liked to talk when she made love; she liked to hear her lover's voice. She usually wanted to know how Jake was feeling or to tell him what she needed or how much she was enjoying herself. But not tonight. Tonight, Abby was terrified of calling out the wrong name.
So she kept her voice silent. She let her husband make love to her and allowed herself to give in to the ecstasy of the moment. Jake's hands treated her body with reverence and they fit just as well together as they had over a year ago. But she closed her eyes and tried not to think about another man's body that she dreamed would be on top of her instead of the one that was currently pushing in and out of her.
After the drinks, the excitement of the dance, and the passionate sex that he had poured his heart into, Jake was fast asleep within minutes after they had finished. But Abby knew she wasn't going to be sleeping tonight. Because the arm around her wasn't the arm she wanted. The man sleeping next to her wasn't the one who had been beside her for the horror of the past month. Abby felt sick to her stomach as she uncurled herself from her husband.
Slowly and quietly, Abby put her clothes back on and slipped out of Jake's room. She managed to keep the tears at bay until she had climbed into her own bed, alone. Then she hugged her arms around herself and sobbed in the empty room.
