Chapter 9: Moving Forward
A/N: I would like to apologize to my readers for how late this chapter is. I take full responsibility…I had a paper due and did not feel like writing when it was finished. When I turned in that paper last Monday, my computer crashed on Tuesday. So I spent some time recreating this chapter as well as the next one on my roommate's computer. But thank you all for your kind reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Also, I'm dedicating this chapter to Ilena Petrova as a thank you for making sure I was alright and that I would be finishing the story.
Abby sat with her legs tucked beneath her on the couch in what used to be Kane's office. She was staring at the map he had been putting together with Lincoln and Bellamy. Everything that happened between getting out of Mount Weather and the moment Pike became chancellor was a blur for her now. All she had now was the memory of a few days of knowing that her daughter was safe. But Clarke was gone again and Abby was alone- so alone.
When the door creaked open, she immediately felt guilty at the thought. Jake peered around the door frame to see her sitting by herself and walked over to sit beside her. He didn't try to put his arm around her, just sat in silence beside her. It was if he was trying to prove to her silent thoughts that she wasn't alone, but she couldn't shake the feeling of being left behind; as if the whole world had left with Clarke and Kane in that rover.
"How do you do it?" he asked finally. When Abby glanced sideways to look at him, she realized his eyes were closed in thought. "How do you just let her go?"
"She's not a child anymore, Jake. And I didn't have a choice…I've never had a choice when it comes to letting her go," murmured Abby and she closed her eyes as well. She thought it may keep the tears at bay, but thin lines of liquid were forming on her face.
Jake brushed away her tears and Abby blinked her eyes open again at his touch. He was much closer than she anticipated. They hadn't been this close since the night of the celebration when they had slept together. Since then, Abby had purposefully put distance between them in order to sort out her feelings about Kane. Jake was speaking to her again and she tried to focus on his words. "I wasn't accusing you. I just don't know how to do this…she's my little girl. I just got you both back and now…"
"I know." And she did understand the inner battle Jake must be having with himself. But she had learned to let go of Clarke the day the dropship had been released from the Ark.
"I was surprised I didn't find you in Clarke's tent." His comment wasn't an accusation, but he did expect an answer. In that moment, it occurred to Abby that she never even considered going to where Clarke had been sleeping for the past week. Her body had unconsciously led her here instead.
She thought for a minute before answering him delicately, "I've learned to carry Clarke inside me…her tent wasn't her home. Arkadia wasn't even her home. I'm always close to Clarke, because my heart is still beating inside me."
"So you're here because you miss Marcus…" Jake signed deeply and bent forward to rest his elbows on his knees. It was time to talk honestly with Jake. She had been putting it off for too long now. A part of her had wanted time with Jake and Clarke as a family but that had been unfair to everyone involved. Abby would always care about Jake, but she knew now that she no longer loved him.
"I've spent a lot of time here with Marcus since we landed."
Jake remained in the same position, with his head down. He knew what was coming; ever since he'd returned, Abby had been distant. When they made love the night of the celebration, Jake knew something was different. But that didn't make it any easier. Jake's voice was steady thought when he said, "I noticed that you two had grown a lot closer. In fact, I can't really remember a time on the Ark when you spoke to him without complaining about something."
"You were dead, I had no idea if Clarke was alive or not, we were breaking up the Ark to come to Earth and all I had left was Marcus." Abby placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "I didn't realize how much he meant to me-"
"Do you love him?"
"Yes."
The silence hung heavy between them. When they had gotten married twenty years ago, there was never a thought that someone could come between them, let alone Marcus Kane. Then when Jake was floated, Abby had larger problems with the future of the Ark and her daughter to ever think about moving on. Jake was her husband- dead or alive.
But then it was Marcus who climbed through the ventilation shaft to rescue her; Marcus who would have sacrificed his life, a life he thought was worth so little that he should be the one to stay behind; it was the infuriating Chancellor that had her punished in front of all the people in Camp Jaha. She closed her eyes and thought about the Marcus who was willing to slit his own wrists to prove to Lexa that the Sky people were worthy. She had fallen in love with the man who had been broken and bleeding beneath Tondc and the man who had begged and pleaded for the Mountain Men to spare her.
But she knew those memories meant nothing to Jake. Jake would be remembering how he had asked Abby to the Unity Day dance when they fourteen or how beautiful she had looked in her mother's wedding dress. She knew he was thinking about the day that Clarke was born and how he had held her hand through the delivery. Jake was remembering a love between them that for her had been dead for a year and a half.
His voice was raspy when he spoke again. "Is there nothing I can do? Is there no way for me to get you back?"
"I'm sorry, Jake," she murmured and she meant every word. Abby knew he wouldn't believe her if she told him how hard this was on her. So she blinked away her tears and replied, "I moved on. And I love him."
That clearly wasn't want he wanted to hear and Jake got to his feet to walk away from the couch. "I get it, I guess. I was dead…you deserve to move on."
"It's not like I ran off with the first man I found, Jake." Abby tried to keep her voice gentle, because she shouldn't be angry with Jake. She's the one who fell in love with someone else, not him. "We sent those kids to Earth and everything went to hell. I survived. Clarke survived. But we're not the same people we were on the Ark. Marcus certainly isn't- he became the leader we needed. And I found someone that I needed too."
"I can be that person you need, Abby. I'm back now." Jake was staring at her now with desperate eyes. She knew she was breaking his heart, but she couldn't live a lie. "Please, just give us a chance…"
Abby took a deep breath before answering, "That wouldn't be fair to you or Marcus."
"I honestly don't give a damn about Marcus. I care about you and Clarke. That's it. My family means more than any grounder truce or Wanheda nonsense or whatever Pike is up to!"
"Don't you dare accuse me of not caring about my family," replied Abby in a low voice. There was heat in Jake's cheeks and Abby had to remind herself that he was just expressing his frustration. To level herself, Abby grabbed a pillow and hugged it her chest. "I have done everything I can to keep Clarke safe. But that means creating a truce with the grounders to get them to stop hunting her and fighting back against Pike."
Jake had begun pacing in front of Kane's desk. "You sent our daughter to Earth, Abby. I'm not sure that qualifies you for mother of the year."
"Get out."
Now the anger was burning in Abby's cheeks, but she remained frozen on the couch. To his credit, Jake looked guilty for his last comment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm the one who got myself floated. This is between you and me. Clarke shouldn't have anything to do with it."
"Get out," Abby repeated.
"I love you. Please, Abby, don't throw away our marriage!" Jake was begging now.
"I said leave, Jake. I made my decision. I understand that this is hard for you, but you're the one who threw away our marriage when you broke the law. I can't help the fact that I fell in love with someone else. But nothing is going to change that. So get out."
This time, Jake listened and he made a beeline for the door. As Jake stalked out of the room, Abby laid down on the couch and pulled her knees into her chest. She flinched when the door slammed shut and took several deep shuddering breaths, but no tears came. In the silence of Kane's office, Abby wondered how he and her daughter were now.
Miles away from Abby falling asleep on Kane's couch, Kane, Clarke, and Monty were walking through the forest. They had been forced to abandon the rover a couple of miles back because the road had ended. Lincoln had warned them this would happen, but they weren't far from Polis now. The tall tower that marked the grounder capital could be seen over the tops of the trees. The trek had been uneventful thus far, but Kane was on high alert.
But being on high alert wasn't any help when about a dozen grounders ambushed them. Kane managed to take down two of them with a couple of shots before he was tackled to the ground from behind. He could hear Monty and Clarke shouting, but if he could hear them, it meant they were still alive. Kane jammed his elbow backwards and felt it connect with the face of the grounder who was on top of him. The grounder's knife scraped against his bullet proof vest and in that moment he was glad that Monty had insisted they put them on. He heard a couple of gun shots ring out and relief flooded his senses. One of the kids still had a gun.
Monty was yelling again and when Kane rolled over another grounder with an even longer knife was on top of him immediately. He threw up his hands to block the blow and gritted his teeth as the knife dug into the palms of his hand. Kane kicked out his leg and threw all of his weight to one side and turned the grounder on his back. But before he could do anything, he was grabbed from behind and the blade of knife cut into the skin of his neck.
Before Kane could even contemplate the end of his life, there was a gurgling sound and he felt warm blood drip down onto his head. The blade at his throat dropped suddenly and he felt the weight of the grounder fall onto him. Kane jumped to his feet and grabbed the rifle he dropped, wincing slightly because of the wounds on his hands, and aimed in the direction he knew Monty and Clarke would be.
But there was already someone slicing into the neck of a grounder that had pinned Monty to the ground. A tall man kicked over the dead body and went on to engage with yet another grounder. Clarke was laying on her side with her hands bound behind her back. She was shouting for Monty to get up. Kane ran over to Clarke and quickly untied her, but he kept a cautious eye on their new friend. Monty had regained his weapon, but didn't seem to know who to shoot.
The tall man just put down the last attacker and turned back to them. He had long dark hair with markings on his face that Kane associated with the Ice Nation. His knife was hanging loosely in his hand as he walked towards where Kane was kneeling over Clarke. Kane's brain was working quickly. If there was a bounty on Clarke, it would make sense to take her in alone- no need to share the glory of capturing Wanheda.
Kane raised his rifle and targeted the mysterious man in his sights. The grounder stopped walking and raised his arms. "I just saved you and now you're going to shoot me?"
"Drop your weapon," shouted Kane. Clarke scrambled to her feet and Monty followed Kane's lead and trained his weapon on the grounder.
The grounder did as he was told and the knife fell to the ground, his arms still raised. "You don't want to shoot me."
"And why not?" asked Clarke as she rubbed her raw wrists.
"Because I'm trying to make sure you get to Polis. And you obviously need all the help you can get," he answered with a cocky grin. "I've been following you for about fourteen hours and you never noticed."
"He did save our lives," said Monty, but Kane could tell the young man was unsure and would do anything Kane ordered him to.
"I have orders to deliver Wanheda to Polis."
"From who?" demanded Clarke. "Who are you?"
The man smirked and replied, "That's not important. But I'll take her off your hands now, Skyon."
"Over my dead body," growled Kane as he glared down the barrel of his rifle.
"It almost was," reminded the grounder. "I should have let those men kill you first and taken Wanheda for myself."
"That's not my name!" Kane resisted the urge to look at Clarke when she shouted. He knew the idea of being the Commander of Death had been eating away at her for some time. The things Clarke had done, the people she had killed, was not due to malice or murderous intentions. She had done what was necessary to save her people- to save them all.
"Of course not, Clarke kom Skaikru. Based on how easily you were almost captured and how your guards here would have been murdered, I would say the Ice Queen is mistaken in assuming you would give her power. But I'm not here to bring you to Queen Nia."
"Then what do you want?" Kane still didn't trust this stranger.
Clarke walked a bit closer, but Kane and Monty could still take the grounder out with a single pull of the trigger. "You said you want to get me to Polis. That's where we're going. You could come with us."
"Clarke..." warned Kane, but Clarke took no heed.
The grounder just rolled his eyes. "It would be faster and safer if I took you alone. Those two would slow us down."
While Monty took the time to look mildly offended, Kane challenged, "If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. Clarke, what are you doing?"
The young woman and walked forward to pick up the grounder's knife. "How about you tell me your name and we all get on our way?"
"They said you had an attitude."
"She's being nice," snapped Monty, his gun still in position.
"Fine," shrugged the grounder. "You can call me Roan."
Kane slowly lowered his gun. In times like these, Clarke's instincts had never been wrong. This Roan person was right- if not for him, Kane and Monty would probably be dead and Clarke would be on her way to be murdered by the Queen. If Roan meant to see Clarke to Polis, then he'd be taking Kane and Monty with them. Not to mention, Kane was trying to create peace with the grounders; maybe peace could begin with Roan.
"My name is Marcus Kane. I'm on my way to speak to your Heda about a truce between our peoples." Kane extended his arm to shake Roan's hand as a sign of good faith.
Roan merely raised a curious eyebrow and turned his back. "I don't have time for truces. Wanheda, let's go."
