Everything I'm Not

"Speech"

Thoughts

Telepathy

((My Notes))

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho and never ever will.

Chapter 3: Truth or Dare

It had officially been a week since Botan had last seen Hiei. Seven days without even hearing from him once. That was a whole one-hundred and sixty eight hours! It's not like mattered, though.

Really it didn't matter at all...

Who was she kidding, of course it mattered! Absence makes the heart fonder, isn't that what they say? Ever since Botan figured out that she had feelings for Hiei, he was all that she could think about.

Everything reminded her of him. Her favorite red nail polish looked like the color of his eyes. Needless to say, Botan threw it in the garbage because it was driving her crazy. I wonder what he's doing right now. Botan sighed as she put her hair into its familiar ponytail.

She was determined to find him, spend a whole day with him, and see if she still liked him. Avoiding him didn't seem to be doing any good. Maybe, spending time with him would help her sort out all her problems. I mean, Botan could never know if these feelings were real if she avoided him for the rest of her life, right?

Maybe after staying with him for a whole day, she'd change her decision. Maybe she'd come to see that Hiei was the same person he was since they met, a ruthless, uncaring, demon. Maybe the only reason she liked him because you always want what you can't have. Who knows, only time will tell.


Hiei leaned back in his favorite tree, without a care in the world. Actually, there was one thing bothering him, and it came in the form of a bubbly, pink kimono wearing ferry girl.

The slightest things would cause him to think of her. The sky looked like her hair, not exactly the same color, but it was blue. A young boy picked up a branch that looked oddly like Botan's oar. It was frustrating. Never once had he had to deal with these kinds of feelings. Hate or rage he could deal with, but this feeling was new to him. Hiei didn't even know what it was. I'll just ask the fox later. Hiei thought to himself as he closed his eyes, determined to fall asleep.

"Hiei!" A voiced called from below him. Damn it, now he was even hearing her in his thoughts. "Hiei!" There it was again, her voice. Maybe if he just ignored it, he'd stop hearing her voice.

Frustrated by Hiei's lack of attention, Botan got on her oar and flew up to him. "Hiei?" Botan called out once more, only to see him shut his eyes tighter. Is he ignoring me? Botan flew a little closer to him, and poked his arm. Hiei opened his eyes to be greeted by none other than Botan. "What do you want?"

"W-well I was just wondering. I mean don't you get tired of staying in that tree all day long?"

"No."

"Right. Uh, so, would you mind..." Botan twiddled with her fingers as she tried to get the words out.

"Just get out with it already." Hiei answered, clearly annoyed.

Botan sighed, "Do you want to go to Genkai's Temple with me to visit Yukina?" Please, please, please let him say yes!

"I know you might not want to go with me, but since I'm going anyway I figured we could go together. If you're not planning to go, then it's okay. I'm not forcing you to do this or anything, I was just-"

"I'll go." Hiei jumped off the branch he was lying on and landed on the grass. Botan followed suit and dematerialized her oar. "Really!" Surprise was etched on to her features. She didn't think it would be this easy. "She gets worried when I don't visit." Was all Hiei said in reply. "Well then, let's go!" Botan smiled as they began walking through the woods, towards Genkai's temple.

"So are your wounds from before completely healed?"

"Yes, but you didn't have to help me. They would've healed on their own, eventually."

"I know, but I couldn't just leave you there! Who knows what could've happened to you? Plus, I wanted to help you." Botan smiled at him while walking just a little bit closer to him.

"...Thanks." Hiei mentally sighed. When was the last time he thanked somebody, considering he ever had thanked somebody. He could see it already, he was changing just as Kurama did. No, he refused to let some woman make him weak. He owed it to Botan to at least thank her. He wasn't doing this because he cared, it was just that damn honor code of his.

"Y-you're welcome, Hiei." Botan answered with disbelief. He actually said thank you. I don't think I've ever heard Hiei say that. Well not to me at least. Yes we're making progress! Progress? Where did that come from? The whole point of today was to see if there was anything between them, not force them to get closer. This was all too confusing. It was kind of nice, though. Just her and Hiei.

Botan was snapped out of her thoughts as her foot got caught in a root. With an, "oomph!" she fell on the ground, dirtying her kimono. "Stupid root..." Botan attempted to dust of her kimono while standing up. Absentmindedly, she blew a stray hair out of her face. "It's not funny, Hiei."

Wait. Hiei was...laughing! That's it, the world must be ending. Botan looked towards the sky for any signs of impending doom. No fire and brimstone, no natural disasters, no nothing. Just a clear blue sky, and white puffy clouds that floated without a care in the world.

She listened a little harder, and he was in fact laughing. Botan smiled a little while listening. I don't think I ever heard Hiei laughing before. It sounds...kinda nice. Could Hiei be opening up to me? I think he is! I mean it's not like he laughs all that often... I bet Kurama never even heard him laugh! Okay, so maybe Kurama heard him laugh. But I doubt Yusuke or Kuwabara ever heard him laugh! Maybe an evil cackle or two, but not areal laugh.

"I'll have you know, that hurt a lot Hiei!" Botan added with fake hurt.

"You should have watched where you were going instead of daydreaming." Hiei smirked. "Well, at least we're almost there. I can get myself cleaned up at Genkai's place." Botan tried to dust herself off once more as they continued walking.

Botan blushed. So the enigma around Hiei was finally dissipating. They haven't been around each other for long, but Botan felt like they became closer. She didn't know how, or when...but she wasn't scared of him anymore.

Hiei was just a regular guy, like Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara. He just had a different way of showing how he felt. Instead of being brash like Yusuke or Kuwabara, or keeping his emotions in check like Kurama, Hiei bottled everything up. Sooner or later he was bound to let some of them out, and when he did Botan would be right there to see them all.

Finally, they reached the endless flight of stairs that led to Genkai's Temple. "Hello?" Botan opened the door. "Anybody home?" No response. "Genkai? Yukina?" Botan called out as she walked further inside the temple. "No one's here." Hiei told her. "H-huh? How do you- Oh. Spirit Energy." Botan replied sheepishly. "I bet they just went to get food or something...they shouldn't take that long. Plus, it would be a waste to walk all the way back home."

Hiei sat down, apparently bored. "Hmm.. I know what we can do to pass the time! Let's play a game!" Botan moved closer to him. "A game?" Hiei raised a brow. "Yeah! How about..truth or dare?" No answer. "If you chose truth, you have to truthfully answer any question I ask, and if you pick dare you have to do anything I say. Then when it's your turn I have to chose truth or dare."

"Who said I was going to play in the first place?"

"Please? It's better than sitting around doing nothing!"

"Fine." It's not like she was going to stop anytime soon, and rather than listen to her whine some more Hiei figured they could just play the stupid game.

"Yay! Okay, I'll go first. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to..." Botan placed a finger on her chin as she thought. "I dare you to live with me for a week!" I know I like him, but I don't know if he likes me. I need to find out if he feels the same way, and what better way than have him stay with me for a whole week!

"Hell no." Is the onna crazy or something? Me live with her for a whole week? She must have taken one too many falls lately.

"Hiei you have to do it! It's the rules of the game!" Botan pleaded. "I refuse to play by the rules of this foolish game." Hiei stated clearly annoyed at her persistence. "Can't the Wielder of the Dragon of the Darkness Flame, put up with a Ferry Girl for one lousy week?" Silence. "I thought you-"

"-Why do you want me to stay with you for a week? Do you want to make my life a living hell?" Hiei's eyes were fixed upon Botan awaiting an answer. "I just want us to spend more time together! Is that so bad?"

"Do I even have to answer that?"

Botan pressed on. "You didn't have to pick dare, but you did! And here I thought you never backed down from a challenge." This type of thing always worked with Yusuke or Kuwabara. Maybe, just maybe it'd work on Hiei too. His ego was close to, or even as big as, theirs.

Hiei growled. "Fine." Hiei still didn't understand why she wanted him to stay at her place, but she could've always chosen a worse dare. Like being nice to the oaf, for instance. Hiei would have to ask Kurama about the intricacies of ningen women later. Plus, he already thought of a dare as payback.

"I guess it's my turn now, I pick truth!" Botan exclaimed. "What's the matter, is Koenma's top ferry girl afraid of what I might make her do?" Hiei's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I suppose I should choose dare, too. Okay fine I pick dare." Botan looked uncertainly towards Hiei. "You have to tell Yusuke and Kuwabara who this mystery man of yours is."

"W-what! I can't do that!" Shock was etched throughout Botan's features, as her eyes widened. "I thought it was the rules of the game?" Hiei mocked. "It's your own damn fault. You're the one who wanted to play this anyway."

"That's not fair Hiei!"

"Neither is making me spend a whole week with you. Call it off, and you won't have to tell the bakas who you like."

Botan frowned while looking down at the hardwood floor. She really wanted to spend time with Hiei, but how could she do that without revealing her secret. Plus, Kuwabara and Yusuke weren't good at keeping secrets. They'd probably never let her live it down if they found out. "Fine..." Botan didn't have to look up, she knew Hiei was smirking.

"I'll go along with your dare-"

Surprise flickered through Hiei's crimson orbs. Shit. What is it with her? I was trying to avoid her, not move in for a week! Damn onnas everywhere, and their persistence.

"-and you have to go along with my dare." Botan held out her hand waiting for Hiei to shake upon it.

Rolling his eyes Hiei extending his arm and shook hands with Botan. As they shook hands they lingered for a moment, hand in hand. Then the door slid open and, almost reluctantly, they let go.

"Oh, hello guys! I didn't expect to see you two here." Yukina smiled as she walked inside with some bags. Hiei nodded in acknowledgment as Botan got up to greet Yukina. "We haven't seen you or Genkai in a while, so here we are!"

"Hey Botan, Hiei." Genkai said as she walked through the door. "Looks like you guys had a long day..." Botan looked at the amount of groceries they had on the floor. "I could say the same for you." Genkai retorted based on Botan's appearance.

"Oh this? I..well you see I tripped on my way here. I guess that's what I get for spacing out, huh?" Botan smiled sheepishly. "Come with me, I'm sure there's something that can fit you." Yukina led the way to her room after telling Hiei they'd be right back.

Damn that stupid onna. Maybe I could just break off the bet, but that would go against my code. Hiei sighed. Botan was making him go soft. He swore he'd never become like Kurama, Kuwabara, or Yusuke, tied down by anyone, or held back because of their wishes. He didn't want to become weak, and let the emotions get the best of him. Yet, every passing second with her, he felt his resolve slowly breaking.

Heyy Heyy! Sorry if I took long. Finals and such are coming up, so I've gotta study! Thanks so much for all your feedback and reviews! I'm so glad everybody likes the story so far. I hope I'm keeping everyone in character... Hehe. Tell me whatchya though, and review! )