Ulterior
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Bleach.
Episode 5
【Previously】
"Highschool, eh?" Gin Ichimaru was leaning against a wall along one of the many corridors in the mansion. Ulquiorra ignored his presence and continued walking, with hands in their perpetual position – in his pockets. "Been there, done that," the elder man bragged. Ulquiorra was already a few metres away from the man, his back facing him. "It's not as easy as you think it will be, Schiffer-san," Gin was not discouraged by the lack of attention given to him. "If you require any… assistance, you know who to look for." Gin smirked and strode in the opposite direction. He knew Ulquiorra would eventually.
"By the way…" Gin called out loudly. Ulquiorra stopped momentarily. "Good luck!" His grin never leaving his face.
。。。。。。。
Ulquiorra had the emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) equivalent to that of a brick wall. His intellectual capability need not be questioned, but when it came down to the issue of being sociable, Ulquiorra's personal experience was exceedingly inadequate. He didn't have any friends, even within the Hueco Mundo syndicate, and he didn't want any friends. Put it simply, Ulquiorra was the epitome of "anti-social"… which led to an unlikely but necessary event in the mansion – Gin's "1-on-1 Crash Course in Socializing".
For the third time, Ulquiorra let out a silent sigh. If it wasn't for this being an order from Aizen, he would conveniently ignore Gin's initiative to educate him about being sociable. It didn't escape Ulquiorra's observation that nobody in the syndicate wanted to be associated with Gin on a friendly basis. How Gin could consider himself befitting to give him a lecture on the art of socializing is beyond reason and logic. Out of pure compliance to Aizen's order, Ulquiorra sat in one of the lecture seats in the mansion's auditorium and stared nonchalantly at the slide, which Gin was pointing at with an extendable pointer, entitled "The Dummies Guide to Socializing".
。。。。。。。
For Gin, his intention wasn't to be helpful. It was just self-entertainment. The way Ulquiorra was so devoted to Aizen, Gin was literally swallowing his laughter at the sight of the younger man taking down notes. It was priceless to Gin. At this rate, Ulquiorra was headed to thinking he would grasp the full meaning of, let's say, 'Love' just by reading up on the encyclopedic explanation of it. Too rational to leave any gap for humanity, Ulquiorra continued jotting down Gin's theoretical points for socializing like as if they were steps to solving a Matrix problem sum.
"Come on now, Schiffer-san. Don't give me that look like this is totally unnecessary!" Gin sounded out. It IS totally unnecessary, thought Ulquiorra. "You know full well that your mission is to gather information about the girl. If you intend to just spy on her, the usefulness of your information to Aizen is very limited. If you know how to get close to her and gain her trust, she'll willingly provide you with all the information you need! The trick to this – is just to be her friend, Schiffer-san," Gin reasoned, "But of course, the only problem is that you never befriended any soul in your life so far! This leads to Lesson #1!" Ulquiorra scanned the next slide and cursed inwardly, this sucks…
。。。。。。。
Lesson #1 – Introductions
"The first step to befriending anybody in the most direct way possible is to go up to that person and introduce yourself," Gin said. Ulquiorra scribbled. "There are many ways to introduce oneself, but for a 'Social Beginner' like you, just extend a hand to the person and say, 'Hi. I'm Ulquiorra Schiffer. It's a pleasure to meet you' and hope that she'll be willing to give you a handshake and introduce herself." I'm labeled as a 'social beginner'? Ulquiorra felt a bit insulted.
"However, to befriend a female is more challenging than befriending a male," Gin seemed to speak from experience. "Females may interpret your introduction as an attempt to be romantically involved with them, even if it is not the case. So, if you are unattractive in their eyes, they may not even want to befriend you!" Ulquiorra blinked as a sign of realization. "Is that why nobody befriends you?" Ulquoirra asked insensitively. Gin twitched. "Uh-hum! Don't try to be snide. Lesson #2!"
Lesson #2 – Being Attractive
"The highly subjective topic of attractiveness will be covered in Lesson #2," Gin continued. "To befriend the girl successfully, you must be attractive… Oh, we have a lot to work on," Gin commented. "Don't try to be snide." Ulquiorra retorted and Gin grinned in satisfaction. The young man of fifteen looked mature for his age. Ulquiorra had attractive features, and the one major asset he had was his deep green pools. His layered, shoulder-length black hair perpetually had a styled look to it. Gin rubbed his chin and observed Ulquiorra's appearance. Ulquiorra always wore a slight frown on his face and personality-wise, he could fall under the "strong, silent and cool" male category that a large handful of females would be interested in. "Well, you may be too quiet and boring for anyone's liking, but you can pass off as strong, silent and cool… Some girls like that in a male, so you must play it well, Schiffer-san." Ulquiorra didn't really understand a word, but he captured the gist of it. "Though attractiveness is subjective, a universal quality you ought to have is to be a gentleman!" Gin said. "This brings us to Lesson #3!"
Lesson #3 – Be A Gentleman
"How to be a gentleman? The all-time rule is the 'Ladies first' rule," Gin preached and Ulquiorra sighed for the forth time. "This means that you must treat the girl with respect. Get the door for her, push in her seat for her, carry her books for her, walk her home if it's at night and tell her that it is for her safety… You get the picture?" Like a servant? He wondered. Ulquiorra scribbled down the examples which he never once heard of and nodded in comprehension. "The final lesson is Lesson #4!" Gin announced and Ulquiorra felt instant relief.
Lesson #4 – How to be a Friend?
"Lastly, how to act like a friend," Gin started. "Well, it is simple. As a 'friend', you will have to greet her whenever you see her. Since you are incapable of smiling, you can wave. When she is upset, you must show concern for her by asking or by touching her shoulder. If she does not want to tell you, tell her that she can confide in you whenever she feels like it. When she cries, just be a pillow. When she is bullied, protect her. When she is happy, whatever she tells you, just show that you understand. Bottom-line is – if she likes you, she'll open up to you!" With that, Gin retracted his extendable pointer. "Crash course is over! I know you are dying to leave. But before that, I would like to remind you that school starts tomorrow and Aizen wants to see you for a short briefing at 7.30am after breakfast. Be dressed in your school uniform. The chauffeur will drive you to Karakura High. Good luck!" Gin smirked and left the auditorium. Ulquiorra stared at the notes he scribbled. Will this work? He thought. He'll just have to find that out on his own. It was his mission and he would not fail.
【To be continued…】
。。。。。。。
【Author's Note】
Thank you to those who have added this fic to your favourites and those who have given this fic a shot. I really hope that you will take some time to review my work! I'd really appreciate it! This episode is a contrastingly light-hearted one as compared to the flashbacks associated with Aizen. I hope you enjoyed it. Next episode will be Ulquiorra's official first day in Karakura High. The plot will become more interesting as it develops. Be sure to tune in!
