To Stand On One's Own

Her mouth clicked shut, her jaw tensed.

This was not fair. It was utterly not fair, and Tsunade-sama was not in the right; not in the right to assign her to this kind of mission. She needed to calm down before she answered. She quickly glanced in the corner of the room, noting the flourishing arrangement of lilac polyanthus (1) flowers, with vibrant petals and yellow starburst centers facing the night sky.

She was Hinata Hyuuga and she would not be the means to an end for anyone, and above all, she would not put herself in humiliating situations. Her pride roared against the order, and her small fists tightened at her sides, no longer clutching her shirt.

"No."

Tsunade gaped at the blatant refusal, hazel eyes widening at the sight of steely lilac ones. Hinata would not back down. She saw that now. She had overestimated her hold on the girl, basing her assumptions on what she had known of her five years past. And it gave her the strangest feelings of melancholy and joy, to know that one of her kunoichi had come so far on her own. Still curious, she asked one more question.

"You would disobey an order from your Hokage?"

"With all due respect Tsunade-sama, I am an ambassador. I am not an event organizer, and so to ask me to help with the ceremony makes no sense. I am not a counselor, and therefore am not qualified to help Naruto-san with his problems, and furthermore playing favorites is a dangerous sport, Lady Tsunade."

At this point, she continued to glower pointedly at her Hokage, trembling with fury.


"Remember Hyuuga-san, show no weakness in all your dealings." Mei Terumi, the current Mizukage, kindly looked at the gentle soul before her. The girl's tightly wound nerves were evident by her constant fidgeting and knitted eyebrows. 'She's very much like Chojuro, sweet and strong.'

They both were about to enter into the conference room to meet with the neighboring Land of Sea Dragons to negotiate boundaries of several economically viable islands.

"B-But I'm not the Hokage, how c-can I represent Konoha's p-policies on such a heated topic?"

"I trust your judgment. It's alright to be scared Hinata-chan, so long as you're sure in yourself."

She gave the girl a small wink and a comforting pat on the back, threw open the double doors and stepped into the long room. Hinata peered in after her, slightly frightened by the large windows overlooking the misty city. She maintained focus on the trailing auburn hair of the woman before her.

'Self-confidence…confidence…confidence' The mantra ran through her head, slowly filling her with courage and calm.

'I can do this. I just need to…believe it.' And with that last thought, Hinata Hyuuga stood upright and proud. She surveyed the room. The Mizukage was already seated at the front, flanked by Chojuro and Ao. Hinata took her place to the right of her host, giving a steady look towards the other visitors. A large bearded man, wearing an elaborate aquamarine kimono with golden serpents embroidered throughout sneered at the Hyuuga, hoping to intimidate her.

It didn't work.


"You're right and I am sorry." Tsunade's gaze softened wearily and she abruptly stood up. She slowly made her way around her desk and towards her ambassador.

Hinata had not expected this, and was thoroughly taken aback. Her anger rapidly deflated at the softly-spoken apology. She shifted, hoping to distance herself slightly from the approaching Hokage. When she looked up, she noticed the soft look in the honey colored eyes and the rare gentle smile on her face.

"Tsunade-sama?" Hinata asked confusedly, her steely eyes softening at the changed expression.

And before she knew what had happened, she was enveloped in a warm embrace, the forest green of Tsunade's coat clouding her vision and the oddly faint scent of earthy moss filled her nose. (2)

"Welcome back, Hinata-chan."


Naruto trudged through the brightly lit streets of Konoha, completely absorbed in replaying one simple line; one small moment that had stretched into a deliciously painful eternity.

"Good evening Naruto-san. It's a pleasure to see you doing well."

His hands were shoved into the pockets of his orange pants, his dark short-sleeve shirt hardly protecting him from the chill autumn air. But he could not feel it, he was numb from his heart down, or was it his head down? The slight sting of the cold air had nothing on the terse and polite greeting she had given him. It had nothing on the one syllable honorific tagged onto his name. 'Naruto-san.'

And he could remember that the syllables of his name, slowly pouring like honey from her pink lips were like water to him. But then that last syllable tacked on was something else altogether. 'It's different.'

"I hate it." He murmured to the starry night, ambling his way through the loud market square, oblivious to the sounds of life and joy. He vaguely waved when he would hear his name called in greeting, but kept on walking. Typically, he would have taken joy in the robustness of the shogi players in the coffee shops, the laughing faces in the warmth of small dango and tea shops.

Typically he would have been grinning and joining in on the fun. But tonight had not been typical, and he was going to take the time needed to sort himself out; take the time to rid himself of the turmoil ripping through him, the very pain making his legs move farther and farther from the main gate and the Hokage tower.

He eventually and obliviously made his way to the quiet and dimly lit residential outskirts of Konoha, his legs slowly pumping up steeper slopes leading to the Hokage monument. And so he climbed, vaguely aware of the dusting of stars and the indigo hues spread across the sky, marveling at how much there was to remind him.

He glanced to the left of the corridor like stairs, a small house bearing several climbing dog roses in brilliant shades of scarlet, and their simple single petal structures so different from their more flamboyant relatives. (3) 'How ironic.'

Finally he reached the very top, a plateau covered in earthy loam and the occasional spots of crab grass and dandelions. Tonight however, there lay a cluster of small truffles (4), poking their merry caps out of the unusually moist soil. He kicked at them, destroying the circular formation and slightly despairing in the fact that the actual mushroom lay below the earth, safe from his wrath.

And as he looked up from the crushed caps, his breath hitched and his chest was shot through.

Because there she was, staring out at the lights of the village. A silent specter who seemed to effervescently shine and twinkle along with them.

"Hinata…" He called out, for the first time in a long while. The soft sound coming out as a sigh.

She still heard him, and with her lovely parted lips and bright jeweled eyes widened in surprise, she turned to him and said nothing. What could she say? And so she quickly reverted to her professional persona, one she used in dealings with political leaders and higher ups. So quick was the change, it was almost audible.

The steely snap of doors closing as her eyes glazed over, covering her inner thoughts.

"It's a pleasure to see you Naruto-san."

Naruto gaped at the cold and distant tone, her lilting voice still conveying a faraway politeness that hurt more than any kunai ever could.

"You're back."

"So I am."

His fists clenched, his emotional peak had been reached and he was done tip toeing around the issue. He had come here to be alone and to think and to forget, and she would not let him. Enough was enough.

"Five years! Five damn years you've been gone!" His eyes turned icy, their warmth almost all but gone. His arm swept to the side, almost as if waving off his statement as unimportant.

"Naru-"

"Don't. Don't you dare! You didn't write, didn't even try and contact me or any one of us for that matter."

"Naruto-san stop!" She shouted, her eyes shut in pain and sorrow, and stars running down her cheeks. Her fists were clutching the hem of her green jacket, trying to regain her calm and poise. This wasn't how she pictured their would-be encounter; this wasn't how she wanted him to see her.

"No, I won't."

There was no reply, only the quiet whisper of the breeze.

"I won't stop. Because it damn hurt when you left. And it damn hurt when everyone blamed it on me." His hand vehemently went to his chest, clutching at where the pain radiated from.

It was deathly quiet and still for several minutes afterwards, neither one moving, nor daring to speak, until…

"I'm sorry for that."

She was looking straight at him, her eyes finally shining in sincerity and earnestness. But it was his murmured and utterly broken question that floored her.

"Why?"

And as he looked at her, his face crumpled, his eyes dulled and shadowed. Even his usually upright hair seemed deflated somehow, and it was this image of her broken Naruto that prompted her to answer.

"Because I needed to stand on my own."

He gazed at her regal frame, the confidence that had not been there prior oozing out of her every movement, and in that moment, he knew what would hurt her the most.

"You haven't changed at all."

Her eyes momentarily drooped, and for an instant he saw the damage he had caused with his words. But it was only a moment, because the next she was standing tall again, her eyes cold and polite. She gave him a curt nod and with that she left him, her dark tendrils of hair sweeping past him as she did, bombarding him with scent of fresh Hibiscus.

Then, he was alone.

A/n: And we started with a surprise encounter. Thank you again for reviewing everyone! I don't have much time to name everyone, so just a great big fat thank you is what I can give.

Polyanthus- confidence

Moss- maternal affection

Dog rose- pain and pleasure

Truffles- surprise