With my back on the floor, cold linoleum icing my growing pains
Watch the ceiling fan turn its shape again, my threads are coming loose
Yeah, I'm one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair on fire
If I'm kindling for a little while at least I'd feel of use
Promise me that you'll start where I end
And I promise to give you everything that I am
(On and on and on)
We'll go on and on and on
In the end all I hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you
When there's not a lot of warmth left to go around
-"Boreas" by the Oh Hellos
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12th
James rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, the sheets tangling around his legs. It was stupidly early, but he could hear his dad puttering around getting ready for work. Inconvenient to wake up at that hour, but there had always been something reassuring about not being able to sleep or waking up from a bad dream knowing that his dad was awake and all was right in the world.
He eased out of bed, pushing the covers back in a heap, and raked his sleep tousled hair out of his eyes as he shuffled down the hall. The door to the guest room was half closed, and he peeked inside without nudging it.
Just as he'd suspected, all three of them had ended up cuddled together. Alex was in the middle, her hair escaping from her braid. Spencer curled into her side, one little hand clutching his blanket and the other holding Alex's shirt. That didn't surprise him, but he was a bit surprised that Aaron was pressed close against Alex's other side, his head beside her on the pillow and his arm draped over her so he could rest a hand on Spencer's back. It was a sweet sight, and James backed away as quietly as he could to avoid waking them.
He bit back a yawn as he wandered downstairs. The house was dark, but the kitchen was warmly lit. His dad glanced up from the coffee grinder as he walked in. "You're up early, Mini," he said.
"Couldn't fall back asleep," James said as he pulled himself up to sit on a barstool at the kitchen counter.
Ned poured the freshly ground coffee into a filter. "Are you going to try to go back to sleep, or do you want coffee?" he asked.
"Coffee, please."
Ned laughed. "One of those mornings, huh?" he said. "Feeling okay?"
"Yeah, just stressed," James said. "This weekend was…a lot."
"That bad?"
"It felt like it was two years instead of a couple of days," James said dryly.
Ned set the glass coffeepot in place and switched it on to brew. "Yeah, I can see that," he said. "The other kids looked okay when I checked on them, though."
"Yeah, they were still sleeping when I checked just now," James said. "Do you think Hotch will be okay?"
"As far as I can tell he kept everything down, so hopefully he's on the mend," Ned said. "But don't hesitate to bring him back over here if you think he needs a grownup. Spencer too."
James nodded. He knew his parents wouldn't mind it if he brought them over, but it was still a relief to hear it outright.
Ned rummaged around in the fridge. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really."
"Anything else on your mind?"
James shrugged. "Midterms are coming up," he said. "Not looking forward to that."
Ned hummed in sympathetic agreement as he set a skillet on the stove and started cracking eggs into it. "So that's all that's bothering you?" he said.
"Yeah, I guess," James said.
Ned raised an eyebrow. "You're sure?"
"Yeah, I think so," James said, bewildered.
"So you're not stressing yourself out over a certain pretty girl that you've wanted to ask out since you were fourteen, who's currently asleep upstairs?"
James's mouth dropped open. "Dad!" he exclaimed.
Ned grinned. "Don't deny it," he said.
If he could have slithered off the barstool, disappeared into the floor, and died, he would have. "Dad, I'm not…I don't…"
"You're really going to try to tell me that you haven't had the biggest crush on Alex since the ninth grade?" Ned said.
Janes dropped his head on his folded arms. "This can't be happening," he said.
"Did you really think no one had figured it out?"
"Well, I know Dave figured it out-"
"Jamie, I think Dave knew before you did," Ned interrupted. "And at this point, everyone knows. Except for Alex."
James groaned. "I'm never gonna recover from this," he mumbled.
"Oh, don't be embarrassed, Mini," Ned said. "You know, Jeff was saying-"
He raised his head. "Uncle Jeff knows too?"
"Of course," Ned said. "But anyways, Jeff was saying that we shouldn't be so surprised. Your mom and I were a lot like you two. We-"
"Yeah, I know, you kept missing opportunities to meet until your senior year and then you fell totally in love at first sight," James said. He rested his chin in his hand. "But remember the part when you guys broke up after graduation, and if Mama hadn't come back to Auden's Ridge for an internship you never would have run into each other again?"
Ned hesitated. "Well…"
"What if that happens to me and Alex?" James said. "What if we end up in separate colleges and decide try long distance and then we just slowly drift apart? Or…or what if I ask her out and she says no? What if it makes everything weird and awkward and awful and I don't just have to go through the embarrassment of her turning me down, but I lose my best friend too?"
Ned was silent for a moment. He poured coffee into two mugs and added sugar to both. "Well," he said slowly. "Think about Alex. Is she the kind of person who would hold onto something like that? Would she let awkwardness ruin your friendship?"
James leaned back and crossed his arms. "No," he said. "No, I guess she isn't. She would probably just turn me down awkwardly and then never mention it again."
"So there you go," Ned said. He opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of French vanilla creamer and a jug of milk. "I know you're worried about that, but you've got to take Alex into consideration too. She's your best friend, you know her pretty well."
"That's true," James admitted.
Ned pointed at a spoon at him. "And how many times do you ask a girl out after she says no?"
"None, asking once is enough."
"Good," Ned said. He handed James a blue mug of coffee so diluted with milk it was a pale buttery color. "And as for everything else, if you start dating and you break up, or you go long distance and it doesn't work…would it be worth it?"
James held the mug with both hands and took a sip as he mulled it over. "I mean…it could be," he said. "I think it could be, at least."
"And who knows?" Ned said. He got an insulated travel mug and poured coffee into it. "Maybe you'll reconnect later like your mama and I did. Or maybe you won't break up at all, and you'll both be doctors and get married and give us grandbabies."
"Dad, we're seventeen and I haven't even asked her out yet."
"I know, I know. But oh, if you start dating let me know if you need a refresher on the talk."
"Dad."
"Remember, enthusiastic consent."
"Father."
Ned laughed and screwed the lid onto the travel mug. "I'll stop teasing you," he said. "I've got to take this up to your mom and head over, it's sourdough day and I'm sure Jeff is already swearing at the mixer." He kissed the top of James's head. "Have a good day at school. And good luck figuring it out."
"Thanks, Dad," James said.
He sat in silence for a while, drumming his fingertips on the sides of the warm mug. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about these sorts of things before- he had, a lot, for years. But he probably needed to stop thinking, and just decide.
Spencer drifted awake at the sound of the alarm. Except it wasn't Hotch's blaring siren, or Derek's too-energetic pop music. It was a soft, folksy sounding song, but he still didn't put it together until Alex reached around him and switched her phone off.
He immediately nestled himself closer to her warmth, tucking his face in the crook of her neck, and Alex wrapped her arms around him. That was right, he remembered now. He was at James's house, and Alex had put him to bed, and he'd slept safely snuggled next to her. He hadn't gotten this much sleep in…well, he couldn't remember.
Alex gave him a gentle squeeze and started to move around. He made a little peep of disappointment. "I'm sorry, baby, I've got to get ready for school," she whispered. She kissed the top of his head. "Snuggle with Bubba, you don't have to get up yet."
He didn't want her to leave, but he scooted into her warm spot in the bed, closer to Hotch. The second he made contact Hotch shifted to wrap his arm around him, holding him against his chest. Spencer sighed in contentment as Alex adjusted the covers, and he dozed off again almost instantly.
The next time he woke up it was to Alex's soft voice. "Aaron, it's your turn to get up," she was saying gently. It took a second to register. Who's Aaron? Oh. Hotch.
He cracked open one eye. Alex leaned over Hotch, half dressed in her school uniform and her hair damp from a shower. She rubbed his shoulder. "Good morning, Bubba, time to get up," she said, a teasing note in her voice.
He couldn't see Hotch's face, but he felt him suddenly jolt, and he mumbled something under his breath. "Hey, hey, it's okay," Alex said. "You're okay." Spencer recognized her tone immediately, that was how she spoke to him when he was sick or upset. "We're at James's house. We stayed over with the Blakes, and James is going to drive us to school. Everything's fine."
The bed shifted as Hotch pushed himself up. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Am I running late?"
"No, we have almost an hour before we have to leave," Alex said. "Bathroom's open if you want to take a shower."
"Spencer-"
"Don't worry, I'll get him ready."
Hotch got up slowly. Spencer closed his eyes, feigning sleep, and Alex tucked him back in, brushed his hair back from his forehead, and kissed him softly. He kept pretending to sleep as Alex did her hair and her makeup, singing quietly to herself. Sunlight was beginning to stream through the blinds, and he was so warm and cozy, and he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with the sudden rush of happiness he felt.
Eventually Alex bent over him and kissed his cheek. "Time to get up, Bug, we have to leave for school soon," she said.
He rolled over onto his back, his blanket tangling around him. "Do we have to go back to school?" he asked.
That was a new thought for him, but for the first time the idea of staying home instead of going to school seemed nice. Alex laughed. "Yes, my darling," she said. "James and Bubba are almost ready, and Charlie is making breakfast. Are you hungry?"
Suddenly he was starving. "Yes!" he said. "I'm so hungry."
"Well, once you're dressed you can eat," Alex said. "Do you want to take a shower right now, or tonight?"
"Mm…tonight," he said.
Alex unzipped Hotch's bag and pulled out his uniform. "Well, get dressed, and then we'll go eat breakfast,' she said.
Spencer slid down from the bed and started changing as Alex started packing up their bags. "Oh!" he said, scrambling back onto the bed. "We can't forget-"
He grabbed his blanket off the bed. "Oh, don't worry, baby, we won't forget," Alex said. "Do you want me to put it in my bag, or do you want to hold it in the car?" He hesitated. "In the car?"
"Yes, please," he said.
Maybe it was babyish. It probably was. But he'd answered her question without hesitation, and she hadn't batted an eye. And it would be nice to have his blanket with him for the car ride.
Hotch walked into the room, his hair wet and tousled and his pajamas folded under his arm. "What time is it?" he asked.
"We still have thirty minutes."
He paused. "You packed my stuff for me?" he said. "Thanks, I…you didn't have to do that."
"It's no problem," Alex said. She stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt. "All right, Bug, you ready for breakfast?"
He didn't need a second invitation and followed her eagerly. Charlie was in the kitchen, the dogs circling her happily. "Just a minute, just a minute!" she was saying. "You will be fed, I promise!"
"I've got it!" James called. He nudged the pantry door closed with his hip. "All right, you ruffians, settle down."
Charlie noticed them and beamed. "Good morning!" she said. "I'm making pancakes. Sound good?"
"Do you need any help?" Alex said.
"No, no, we've got it, sit down," Charlie said. "Spencer, would you like chocolate chips in your pancakes, or plain?"
"Chocolate chips, please," he said, half hiding behind Alex.
She guided him over to the kitchen table and he climbed into a seat; she sat down across from him and rested her chin on her hand. "Would it be possible to get some coffee?" she asked.
James set a mug down in front of her. "Already on it," he said. "Spencer, do you want milk or orange juice? The juice doesn't have any pulp, I promise." He hesitated. "Milk?" Spencer nodded. James ruffled his hair lightly.
Charlie set down two plates, plain pancakes in front of Alex and chocolate chip ones in front of Spencer. "Let me know if you want more, there's still batter left," she said.
He wriggled around in his seat. "Could I have-"
"I've got it," Alex smiled, scooping butter from the stick and spreading it across his pancakes. "But not too much syrup."
Hotch walked into the kitchen, looking more put together with his tie knotted and his hair combed. "Alex said there was breakfast, but it's okay, I don't need anything," he said.
"Are you sure?" Charlie said. "I understand if your stomach's still upset, but you probably should have a little something. James said you like oatmeal- I don't know if it's exactly how you like it, but I made it with water so it won't be quite as heavy, and we've got raisins and brown sugar."
Spencer looked at Hotch. He couldn't quite read his expression. "Oh," Hotch said in a small voice. "Oh, well…um, in that case…thank you." He cleared his throat. "I can-"
"Just sit down, darling, before it gets cold," Charlie said. She set a bowl down at the seat next to Alex. "You still have time to eat before you have to leave."
Spencer took a bite of his pancakes. They were delicious, hot and buttery and sweet. He'd never had pancakes at home before school. In the group home it was usually packets of pop tarts or granola bars with a carton of slightly sour milk, and before that…well, he was lucky if he had breakfast at home at all.
He put his fork down, suddenly overwhelmed with the sudden sense of newness. For the first time in his life he was eating breakfast before school at an actual kitchen table, and if he didn't talk himself out of it he could pretend that he was with his big sister and his big brother, and maybe he could even pretend that his mother was washing dishes in the kitchen.
"Spencer, what's wrong?" Alex said, setting down her coffee cup. She smoothed a tear away from his cheek. "Don't cry, baby."
"Are you okay?" Hotch asked.
He nodded. "My eyes were just watering," he said, scrubbing at his cheeks. "Probably allergens from sleeping in a new environment."
"We'll get you some eyedrops if you need them," Hotch promised. Spencer nodded and turned his focus back to his pancakes. When he finished his first two Charlie brought him a third and patted his shoulder affectionately. When breakfast was over James cleared their dishes and Alex sent him to wash the syrup off his face before she handed him his jacket.
"I'm glad y'all could come spend the weekend with us," Charlie said. "Come by any time, okay? Just tell James you want to come over and we'll be ready for you."
"We'll let you know," Alex said.
Charlie smiled at Spencer. "Don't be a stranger," she said.
He beamed up at her. "Thanks for letting me sleep over," he said. "I've never slept over at someone's house before."
Charlie touched his cheek lightly. "Well, you can sleep over whenever you want, honey," she said. She patted Hotch's arm. "You look like you're feeling better, but if you start doing poorly again, tell James."
"I…I will," Hotch said. He cleared his throat and checked his watch. "We should probably go soon or we'll be late."
James picked up his keys. "I'm on it," he said. He hugged Charlie. "Bye, Mama, see you later."
Spencer trailed behind the bigger kids to James's car and climbed into his booster seat. "We have midterms this week, right?" he said. "What should I plan for? I don't know what to expect."
"Oh, god, I don't want to think about that yet," Alex sighed as she got into the car next to him. "One crisis at a time, please."
Hotch buckled himself into the front passenger seat. "So usually with midterms-" he started to say.
"No, no, no, none of that," Alex interrupted. "We can worry about that later. Aaron, you just- turn around and focus on not throwing up."
"I'm not going to throw up."
"You might possibly throw up."
"All right, all right, Jesus, you two really do act like twins," James said.
"No, we don't," they said in unison, and then shot each other a look.
James laughed. "Spencer, do you want to pick the music?" he asked.
"I'm not well-versed in music," he admitted. "Music history, though, I could-"
James turned the key in the ignition. "Let's go with Hozier," he said.
"Hm?" Alex said as she tossed Spencer's blanket over him and his booster seat. "Oh! Thank you!"
Spencer caught Hotch raising an eyebrow at James, and James's ears turned red before he shrugged awkwardly and pulled out of the driveway. He wasn't sure what that was for, but he nestled himself under the soft warmth of his blanket as James started the drive to school.
By the time they made it he felt ready to tackle school. Alex lifted him out of the car and smoothed his hair. "We can leave our stuff here until after class," she said, but she folded his blanket neatly and tucked it in her school bag before he even had to ask her about it.
The four of them walked across campus together; Spencer held Alex's hand tight. The sun was shining but the air felt cold and thin. He shivered. Las Vegas never felt like this, and certainly not in October.
Breakfast was finishing up when they got to the dining hall, and the rest of their friends were wandering out. "Hey, there you guys are!" Derek called. "Hotch, you feeling better?"
"I'm fine," he said, a little clipped.
"Did you guys get the group text?" Emily asked.
Spencer tilted his head up. "I'm not in the group text," he said.
"That's because you're a baby," Emily said, booping his nose. He scowled. "The cake my mom ordered is getting dropped off later, so I think we should go to the old amphitheater after classes for the party."
"What party?" JJ said.
"My birthday party," Emily said. "I mean, it won't really be a party, but if the cake is as big as I told my mom to get, it's going to take all of us to eat it. Everyone's gonna have to eat like three slices."
"Wait, you're the 12" three-layer?" James said. "Marble cake, raspberry filling, chocolate ganache?"
"Yeah."
"Uh…then yeah, Jeff is dropping it off around three today," James said. "Happy birthday, Em, I didn't know it was today."
She waved her hand dismissively. "Eh, I've never been much of a birthday person," she said. "It's usually just an excuse for my mom to throw a lavish party and invite all of her coworkers' kids over so she can schmooze with the parents. And the themes are usually something stupid like 'Paris in the springtime' or 'pink Victorian circus.' All I really care about is cake."
"Well, if anyone paid attention to my google calendar, they would have known," Penelope huffed. "Does no one check my google calendar?"
"I don't, but it's not because I'm a baby, I'm just not very technically savvy," Spencer said. "Can I really have three slices of cake?"
"No," Alex and Hotch said at the same time, just as Emily said "hell yeah, squirt!"
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13th
"Whoever decided to schedule midterms right after family weekend is distinctly sadistic," Penelope complained. "I didn't even think about them until literally my first class yesterday. And we have musical auditions tonight? Kill me now."
Dave took a sip of his coffee. "The midterms won't be that bad, carina," he said. "And we still have two weeks to prepare."
"Easy for you to say," JJ retorted. "You're a senior and you've already turned in your college applications. We're freshmen, we're just starting out."
Derek reached around Penelope to pick up one of her highlighters. "Listen, they usually offer extra credit assignments afterwards, so if you tank on the test, just ask about it," he said. He paused. "Baby girl, do you have any highlighters that aren't pastel?"
"No, actually."
Dave straightened his pile of review packets. Alex had unlocked the library for them for their lunch hour, and the nine of them had claimed a corner for themselves, spreading out over one of the long study tables and spilling over onto the couches with their snacks and drinks and textbooks. He was less worried about his tests than he was for the creative writing project Strauss had assigned for the midterm grade. After how badly his last assignment had fared, he really needed to write something impressive.
Emily threw her head back and groaned loudly. "This sucks," she said. "This fucking sucks."
"Can you swear a little more quietly? This is a library," Alex said, not looking up from her notebook.
"This fucking sucks," Emily whispered. "They seriously expect us to take a test for every class?"
"Mm-hm," Hotch said as he furiously erased something from his math review guide. "And if you think this is bad, just wait until finals."
Spencer looked up from his book. "I can help people study if they need help," he offered.
"It's okay, darling, I know you'd like to help, but you can focus on your own studying for right now," Alex said.
Emily propped up the heels of her boots on the table, perilously close to Dave's laptop. "Hey, Spence, you're small for your age, right?" she said. He shot her a dirty look. "Think you can fit into my backpack and whisper answers to me?"
James laughed. "Maybe you should just study instead of trying to think of ways to get out of your tests?" he said.
"I should have picked my own classes," Emily sighed. "Then I could do easy shit. Like Dave having to come up with a cute little story. Or Alex getting to twirl around in a tutu."
"It's the Giselle act one variation, and I'd like to see you try it," Alex retorted.
"And writing is a lot more difficult than it looks," Dave said.
"Really?" Derek said. "You're literally just making stuff up and putting it on a page."
Dave stared blankly at his Google doc. "There's a lot more to it than that," he said. He was trying to sound assertive and confident, but it came out in a whine like a kid about to lose at a board game. "There's characterization, and story structure, and narrative themes, and dynamic voice-"
"You should let us read what you've written!" Penelope piped up. "We can help! I'm sure we can give you feedback."
"No!" Dave blurted out, his hands hovering on the lid of his laptop. All eight of them swiveled to stare at him. "I mean…thanks, Penelope, but no."
"It's probably a lost cause, he doesn't let anyone read his stories," James said. "I've been trying to convince him to let me read them since middle school."
"Seriously?" JJ said. "You don't let anyone read your stories?"
"That's not true," Dave protested. "I mean…Strauss has read them."
"That's different, that's because she has to grade them," Derek said.
"What's the point of writing if you do let anyone see it?" Penelope asked.
"Emily Dickinson didn't publish any of her poetry until after her death," Spencer added.
"Yeah, but I don't think she had any friends," JJ said. "Why won't you let your friends read anything?"
Dave stared at his screen. "I don't…I don't know," he confessed.
He fell silent. Somehow, in all of his scheming to someday become a world famous author, he had forgotten about the part where people he knew would get to see what he had written. Especially friends. They were right, no one had ever read his stories.
Dave cleared his throat. "I don't know why you're so focused on Alex and I having easy exams, Emily," he said. "Aren't you fluent in French? Your French I midterm is going to be stupidly easy."
Emily brightened. "Oh hell yeah!" she said. She pulled the review packet out of her pile and tossed it on the floor. "One less thing to worry about."
—
"You're sure I didn't need to prepare anything for this audition?" Hotch said again.
"I'm a hundred percent sure!" Penelope said.
"Really? Because you look pretty prepared."
Penelope shrugged. She wore a bright green dress with her blonde hair clipped away from her face with shiny gold barrettes, and she carried a large tote bag slung over her shoulder. "I just like to be ready for any situation," she said. "But you'll be fine. I promise."
Hotch opened the door to the theater, held it open for her, and then froze. The lobby was full of girls in jewel-tone dresses just like Penelope's, their hair curled and pinned, and every single one of them wore heels and carried a black binder with a glossy photo of their face on the front. "Penelope, what's happening?" he said.
She breezed past him. "Hold on, I have to get my character shoes on," she said. She plunked down in a chair and rummaged through her bag. "Whoops, that's my leo for the dance portion."
"The dance portion?" he said desperately. "Pen, I'm going home."
She paused, a shoe in each hand. "What? Why?"
"I can't do this," he said. "I'm not…I'm not a theatre kid. This is way out of my league. I'm going to make a fool out of myself and they won't even cast me."
"Nonsense, you're a boy with a pulse, you're going to get cast," Penelope said. "The girls just always take this way more seriously because they know that there's three of them for every role, but they're going to be scrounging around desperately to get the bare minimum of boys. You should have seen my middle school last year when we did Newsies Junior."
"What's a newsie?" Hotch said.
"Oh, Aaron! You made it!"
He turned around and his heart dropped. Haley waved at him happily. Her navy dress made her eyes shine more blue than gray. "Hi," he said, his mouth going dry.
"They just pulled the first girl in to sing," Haley said. "Are you signed in?"
"No, not yet, we just got here," Penelope said, struggling with the buckle of her shoe. "Do you mind taking him?"
"I can probably-"
"Not at all," Haley said. She took Hotch by the hand. "Come on, I'll take care of you."
She was holding his hand. She was voluntarily holding his hand.
"So you've never done this before?" she asked as she led him over to the signups table.
"Never."
"Don't worry, I've got you," she said. She picked up a clipboard and a pen and handed them over. "Here, just fill this out and I'll talk you through it."
He made it through the basic information before he balked. "What if you don't have any previous experience?" he said. "Or training."
"Oh, that's fine, you can just write that," Haley said. She leaned around his shoulder, close enough for her cheek to brush his upper arm. "You can mention that you're in theatre club too."
He could barely hold the pen. "What role should I say I'm going for?" he asked.
"That depends," Haley said. "Are you going for a lead?"
"Hell no," he blurted out, and she laughed.
"Yeah, that's a lot for your first musical," she said. She took the pen, her fingers grazing his, and wrote something down. All he could think about was the strawberry and peach scent of her perfume. "There. You'll be fine with just ensemble. Although…have you thought about being an understudy?"
"I don't think so," he said. "Ensemble is…is more than enough."
Haley smiled and handed the paper over to a senior in a theatre club shirt; they scribbled a number with sharpie onto a sticky tag. "You're all set," she said. She peeled off the backing and pressed the tag to his shirt, rubbing a light circle on his chest to make sure it would stick. He could barely breathe. "Now you just need to wait for them to call your number!"
That took so much longer than he thought.
Each student was called in one by one, bubbling over with loud nervous energy. Hotch sat next to Penelope, who was listening to a song on her phone and mouthing along with the lyrics. He was beginning to regret this. Spending more time with Haley wouldn't be worth all this pressure.
"Number twenty-seven?"
Penelope slapped his arm. "That's you!" she said. "Oh, sorry, that was more intense than I planned."
"Is there still time to leave?" he asked.
"Oh, no, not if they called your number."
Hotch groaned. "Wish me luck," he said grimly.
"We don't say that here," Penelope said. "We say break a leg."
"That's so much worse."
He walked into the theater, his heart sinking down to his shoes as he walked down the aisle. To his horror, there was an X taped to the brightly lit stage, someone from the music department was waiting at the piano, and multiple people were sitting behind the table in the front row.
"Aaron, hi!" Mrs. H said brightly. "I'm glad you're here."
He walked slowly up the steps to the stage, blinking in the light. "Hi," he said.
"So we've got our music director, our choreographer, and our stage manager here," Mrs. H said. "What did you bring to sing for us today?"
He swallowed hard. "I don't…really have a song, I think?" he said.
"That's okay!" she said. "Is this your very first audition?" He nodded. "Don't even worry about it. You can sing whatever you want, whatever comes to mind, even if it's just 'Happy Birthday', and then we'll just test out your range. Okay?"
"Okay," he echoed. He cleared his throat and sang the first song he could think of; he wasn't sure if a random indie rock song was appropriate for an audition, but it would have to do.
He sang through a verse and a chorus and stopped awkwardly, sliding his hands in his back pockets. "That was great, Aaron," Mrs. H said. He wasn't sure if she was lying to make him feel better or what. "We'll just test your range, okay? Stand next to the piano and sing the notes on an ah, just so we can get an idea of how high and low you can go."
Was it possible to die from awkwardness? He hoped the floor would open and swallow him up. But he trudged over to the piano, hands still in his back pockets, and tried his best as the girl plunked out notes.
As the notes got higher she frowned. "You're a little flat," she whispered. "Do you hear that?" He strained to listen as she played the notes again. "Yeah, that's better."
It felt like a century before they finally stopped. "All right, that's great," Mrs. H said. "Thank you so much, Aaron. Do you have any questions for us?"
"Uh…no, thank you," he said, and he walked as quickly as he could out of the auditorium.
"How did it go?" Penelope asked eagerly.
"I-" he started to say, and he caught Haley's eye from across the room. She shot him a bright smile and a double thumbs up, and he smiled back. "It wasn't that bad."
"Good!" Penelope said. "Are you ready for the dance call?"
His smile dropped. "I need to leave."
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 14th
JJ walked a little faster, her heart thunking in her ribcage. Her teacher had canceled class so they could work on their midterm projects, so she should definitely not be in the athletic center. But she was sure the dance studio would be empty.
Except it wasn't. She skidded to a stop, her heart sinking in disappointment. There was already a class there, piano music muffled through the door.
But it was a ballet class. She angled herself so she could peek through the window in the door without being noticed.
When she was young she used to watch the big girls in their pointe class while she waited for her mom to pick her up. Suddenly she was six years old again, staring at the juniors and seniors as their pointe shoes skimmed over the floor and wondering if she could ever possibly dance like that.
With a start she recognized Alex. She seemed almost unfamiliar in this setting, a filmy skirt tied over her dark blue leotard and her red hair swept back in a high bun. But her expression of stubborn concentration was familiar and unmistakable; she stared intently at the student currently dancing as she tapped her fingers idly against her thigh. Counting beats, maybe, or trying to make sure she remembered the steps.
JJ hadn't seen her dance before. Alex was good, better than she could have guessed. Envy twisted in the pit of her stomach. If only she hadn't quit. That could have been her.
She had only gotten her pointe shoes less than a year before she quit. If she hadn't given up, she would have gotten to dance en pointe for her recital at the end of the year. She had even had a good featured part, and her mother had just ordered her costume. But she never got to wear it, and it had been shrink wrapped in plastic and shoved in the back of her closet for years now. Doubtless she'd grown too much to wear it now.
JJ huddled in the hallway, watching Alex and her class practice. She could see how tired she was, the sweat beading at her temples, but she was jealous anyway. She would kill to do that. She would kill to dance again.
Back then, before she left, she had only learned the beginnings of pointe. Working in the center was still a little scary. But she watched the senior dancers cross the room in steps she recognized and she knew, she just knew that if she could only have the chance, she could do that too.
"JJ?"
She whirled around, falling backwards to sit on the floor. "Alex, hi," she stammered. "I, uh…was just passing through…"
Alex shifted her weight, her empty water bottle balanced in her hand. "Were you watching class?" she asked.
JJ glanced back at the window, then back up at Alex. "Uh…yeah, just for a little bit," she said.
"Have you thought about getting back into ballet?"
"No," she blurted out. "No, I just…no, it just brought back some nice memories, that's all."
"I could teach you, if you want," Alex offered. "Not anything crazy, but if you wanted me to refresh you on some basics or something. And they usually hold auditions for second semester transfers at the end of November if you wanted to try out."
"I…I don't have time with soccer," she said, her stomach twisting in knots. "Thanks, though."
"I've got to refill this and get back in there, but…let me know if you ever change your mind, okay?" Alex said.
"Okay," JJ echoed, sliding back to lean against the wall. This was a mess. The whole situation was a mess. If only she hadn't gotten it into her head to do soccer. If only she didn't hate it so much. If only she hadn't quit dance in the first place.
I need to dance again, she thought, but she had the horrible sinking feeling that she never would, not the way she wanted to.
"Are you nervous, Penelope?"
"Of course I'm nervous!" Penelope said. "I got a callback! This is so much!"
Hotch made a face as he slumped farther down in his seat. "Really?" he said.
"Really!" she said. "I can't believe I got a callback! For my first high school show! I'm only a freshman, and I'm only thirteen, and I'm up against girls who are a lot older than me and have a lot more experience than I do!"
"Oh," Hotch said. "So…this is a big deal." He cleared his throat. "What are we supposed to do for this?"
Penelope shrugged. "I'm not sure, every director is different," she said. "They might have us sing songs from the show, or read scenes, or dance-"
"If I have to dance again, I'm leaving," Hotch said flatly.
"No, you won't, not if Haley's here," Penelope said, tilting her head back to lean against his shoulder and bat her eyelashes.
He scowled, but his ears turned bright red. "No, no, I'll definitely leave," he said.
She giggled, but she was interrupted by Mrs. H walking onto the stage. "Hey, everybody!" she called, and the buzz of excited chatter in the auditorium immediately went silent. "We have a lot to get done tonight, so we're just going to jump right into this and start reading scenes." She held up a huge stack of photocopies. "The first scene is going to be Robbie, Julia, and Holly, so when I call your name, come up and take your sides, and I'll give you a second to read them over. I'm going to start with the shopping mall scene, so if I could please see…Grayson as Robbie, Harper as Julia, Lily as Holly…"
Penelope fidgeted with her bracelets. She was called back for Holly, and even though she didn't think she would be cast, she was still fervently hoping for the chance to show what she could do.
"…and if I could have Kate for Holly, Haley for Julia, and…Aaron for Robbie."
Hotch's head shot up. "Did she call my name?" he hissed.
Penelope gave him a push. "Yes! Go up and get your script!" she hissed.
Hotch was clearly out of his element. He dropped back into his seat with the script pages in his hand and stared at it as if he'd never seen the written word before. "What do I do?" he asked.
"Read it over and wait for your name to be called, and then go up on the stage and do it up there," Penelope said.
"Do I…do I have to memorize it?"
"No! Just read it! The highlighted lines, for Robbie."
She thought she had adequately prepared him for this, but judging by the way the paper shook in his hand as he attempted to skim it, he was not ready. By the time his name was called, she almost felt guilty for dragging him into this.
But the guilt went away as soon as Haley smiled at him. She wore a pink dress with a narrow pearl headband, and even in her character shoes she was only up to Hotch's elbow.
Mrs. H adjusted her ponytail. "All right, kiddos, start whenever you're ready," she said.
Haley stepped forward, immediately in character. "Oh my god, that's it! That's the dress! That's the dress I was meant to get married in!" she said, barely even looking at the script in her hand. "What do you think? Can you picture me in it?"
"Yes," Hotch said, and even though she could tell he was nervous, Penelope could hear the genuine warmth in his voice. He towered over Haley, tall and lanky in his jeans and his white tee shirt, and his dark hair flopped over his forehead. They looked adorable together.
Haley smiled at him, sweet and radiant. "You think I'll look all right?" she said.
"You'll look beautiful," Hotch said, and he glanced up at the page and looked at her. A flush rose on his cheeks, and Penelope knew that wasn't acting. "I mean, the dress is really…do you think they bedazzled this?"
That got him a genuine laugh, and he looked out at the auditorium in surprise. Kate immediately jumped into her first lines, her hand on her hip. "…the wedding kiss is going to be super sloppy!"
"In church? In front of God and all our relatives and stuff?" Haley said, glancing up from the script. "I think everyone would be grossed out."
Penelope watched them in rapt attention. God, they're cute, she thought. I need them to get cast in this show. If they get cast, I'll have them dating by Christmas break.
"No porno tongue, church tongue."
"What's a church tongue?"
"Um…it's hard to describe."
"Why don't you show me?"
Both girls turned towards Hotch. He was staring at the script, and the red flush had spread to the back of his neck. "Look, guys, I gotta go," he said, and Penelope wasn't sure if he was still reading or that was his genuine reaction.
"Just shut up and hold still. Go on, Julia," Kate said. She waved her hand, fluttering the script pages. "I have to see if I'm going to make an educated decision."
"Okay, just for educational purposes," Haley said. She stepped closer to Hotch and took his free hand in hers.
Penelope saw him swallow hard. "You may kiss the bride," Hotch said, craning his neck to try to read off the page.
"I do," Haley said.
"I do too," he said, and as Haley tilted her chin up to be kissed, he tentatively leaned down towards her, holding her hand to his chest.
"That's great!" Mrs. H said, just before their lips could touch, and they leaned away from each other. "That's perfect. You guys can leave your scripts at the edge of the stage, and I'm going to call up the next groups. We're going to do a scene with Robbie, George, and Sammy…"
Penelope grinned. Haley and Hotch were in love, she was sure of it. They just needed a little nudge to get there.
I can do that, she thought as Hotch hurried back to sit next to her. I can nudge them together.
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15th
Derek slammed his history textbook closed and slid it away from him across the common room floor. "This is too much homework," he said. "If I have to do one more worksheet, I'm gonna scream."
"Please don't, Spencer hasn't slept the past two nights and I finally convinced him to take a nap," Hotch said absently as he typed on his laptop. "If you wake him up, I will also scream."
"The homework only gets worse from here, buddy, so you might as well prepare," Dave said.
Derek threw his head back and groaned loudly. "Can't I skip ahead to senior year like you guys so I can just coast into my full ride football scholarship?" he said.
"I don't…I don't think that's how that works," JJ said.
"It's not," Alex said. "And even if you get scholarships, you need a decent enough GPA. They look at that when you start applying to colleges."
"Was that directed to me? I feel like that was directed to me," Emily said.
"It wasn't, but if the shoe fits…"
"I will throw a shoe at you, Alexandra."
JJ frowned. "Hotch, can I borrow your laptop charger? My battery's dying," she said.
"You live in the same building, you can't get your own?"
"Yeah, I live four floors down."
"That's a good point," Hotch said as he got up. "Hang on, I'll go get it."
Derek stretched out on the floor, his arms flopped above his head. "Seriously though, I'm just going to be a football player," he said. "Why do I have to learn science and shit?"
"Because it's good for you to be a well-rounded individual, with a broad education," Penelope said.
He propped himself up on his elbows. "Can't you be on my side with this, baby girl?" he said.
"No, not this time," Penelope said, smiling sweetly at him.
Hotch strode into the room and tossed his charger at JJ, who caught it easily. "Thanks," she said. He nodded, but he crouched down to whisper something in Alex's ear, and she followed him quickly down the hall.
"Penelope is right, though," James said. "And besides, you need something to fall back on, just in case football doesn't work out."
Derek scowled. "What do you mean, if it doesn't work out?" he said. "What's going to happen in my hypothetical future."
"Wait, wait, let me explain!" James said, nearly dropping his pencil. "Not that it's a matter of if you're good enough to get a scholarship for football or play professionally or something. It's more of…what if something happens to you? What if you…bust up your knee and you can't play anymore and you need a backup?" Hotch walked through the room, a laundry basket under his arm. "Hotch, help me out here."
Hotch paused. "What?"
"Derek needs a backup career just in case he gets a career ending injury or something," James explained.
"Oh," Hotch said. "Oh, yeah, listen to James."
"What would be your backup plan?" Penelope asked as Hotch headed down the stairs.
Derek shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it," he said. "I mean…when I was little I wanted to be a police officer like my dad, but I don't know anymore."
"When I was little I wanted to be a professional actress who also wrote and illustrated children's books, but I don't think I can manage both careers, I simply don't have the time," Penelope said.
"I'm going to be a lawyer who writes books, I guess," Dave sighed.
"You guess?" Emily said. "I feel like law school is something you need to be, like…committed to."
Dave rolled his eyes. "My parents committed to it for me, apparently," he said.
Emily leaned back in her chair and grinned, her black lipstick sharp against her perfect white teeth. "Yeah, my mom tried that when I was a kid, I think she finally gave up by the time I turned twelve."
"So what are you going to do?" JJ asked.
"Take a fucking gap year and travel," Emily said, her chair tipping a little farther back. "The whole backpacking through Europe vibe. And then I'll figure out what I want to do eventually."
"Blake can't relate, he's wanted to be a doctor since he was six years old," Dave snorted.
James shrugged. "Yeah, so what?" he said.
Alex walked in, holding Spencer's hand. His hair was damp and curling, as if he'd just had a shower, and as soon as she sat down in her armchair again she pulled him onto her lap. "What about you, Alex?" Penelope asked.
"What about what?" she said as Spencer buried his face in her shoulder and she tucked his blanket around him.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Emily asked.
"I want to study," Alex said, her brown eyes thoughtful as she rocked Spencer gently on her lap. "I'll get my doctorate in linguistics. I'll teach, maybe write books."
"Think you'll ever get married?" Dave asked slyly.
"I don't know, probably at some point, I guess," Alex said. James ducked his head and smiled, half hidden.
Derek folded his hands in his stomach as he sprawled out on the floor. "I dunno," he said. "I still want to play football. College football, and then the NFL. I guess I should have a backup plan though." He rolled over on his stomach. "But it's gotta be something cool, like…like a firefighter or an FBI agent or something."
Emily sprawled out on her unmade bed, staring at the ceiling, and dragged her hands over her face. She knew she needed to wash her makeup off, but she also just couldn't be bothered.
Alex walked into their dorm room in her pajamas and set her bathroom caddy on her shelf, trying to balance her phone between her shoulder and her jaw. "...but you think he can get back to sleep?" she was saying in a soft low voice. "Okay. Okay, because if you think I should come over, I can be there in a few minutes." She paused, her lips tugging down in a frown. "Well, if you're sure. Okay. Call me if anything changes, though."
She set her phone down on her desk. "What's wrong?" Emily asked.
"Spencer's…not feeling well," Alex said, sighing heavily as she picked up her ballet bag and set it on her bed. "God. He'd been doing so well lately too."
"Poor little guy," Emily said.
Alex paused and examined her pointe shoes. "Do I have to prep a new pair already?" she said, half to herself. "Dammit. I don't have time for that tonight."
Emily kicked off her shoes one at a time, letting them fall to the floor. "What else do you have to do?" she asked.
"I've got some work to do for ASL class," Alex said absently as she sorted through her bag, swapping out her leotards and tights. "I've got an essay for English, but it just needs to be proofread and the closing rewritten. And I have some reading to do for Russian class, but I can probably do that while I'm working at the desk tomorrow."
"Jesus Christ, I'm tired just hearing all of that," Emily said. "You're always doing something. When do you ever slow down and have fun?"
Alex folded up a clean leotard and set it in her bag. "I have fun, I spent last weekend at the Blakes' house," she said. "See? Going off campus is fun."
"Yeah, but I heard it through the grapevine-"
"Derek?"
"-yeah, Derek, he said that Hotchner had food poisoning and he was puking like crazy before you guys left," she said. "And then you're a single mom to the munchkin. I have a feeling you did a lot more babysitting than having fun while you were there."
"I'm not a single mom."
"Oh, correction, you're raising a tiny child with Hotch," Emily said. She rolled over onto her stomach. "Dude, you need to relax."
"I'm relaxed," Alex said. Emily shot her a pointed look, and she sighed heavily. "I'll relax later."
"Yeah, but when's later?" Emily pressed. "You're constantly studying or dancing or working in the library or taking care of a kindergartener."
"He's not in kindergarten."
"Semantics. You know you can stop moving for two seconds and everything will be fine, right?"
The corner of Alex's mouth tugged down. She seemed younger than seventeen in her tank top andblue floral pajama pants and her hair looped into a messy bun at the top of her head with a pink scrunchie. "I mean…yeah," she said. "At least some things, I guess."
"You need to take some time to just…not be like this," Emily said.
"Thanks, Em, that's super helpful."
"Oh, you know what I mean!" Emily said. She pushed herself up to sit crosslegged on her bed. "You should come with me to a party."
Alex snorted. "I don't think I'm the partying kind," she said.
"Okay, okay, fair, but you should do something!" Emily said. "Go out and do something stupid. Be lazy for once in your life. Go on a date. Have you ever even been on a date?" Alex shrugged as she set her ballet bag on her desk next to her school bag, but Emily saw her ears turn red. "Alexandra Miller! You've never been on a date?"
"Not like…a real date," she said, her hands on her hips. "It was the eighth grade dance, my dad took us to McDonalds beforehand and he didn't even want to hold my hand by the time we got there, much less dance."
Emily shook her head. "Alex, Alex, Alex," she said, clicking her tongue. "We've gotta fix this. We can't let you graduate from high school without going on a single date."
"I think I'll be fine if I don't."
"Come on, I need you to get what I'm saying," Emily said, sliding off the bed and crossing over to her. She squeezed Alex's arms. "Just live a little, Miller. You're not a forty-something career woman trying to have it all. Someday you will be, though, and I don't want you looking back on your high school years and thinking 'god, I wish I'd lightened up a little bit when I was still young and beautiful'."
Alex laughed. "I'll think about it," she said. "Just for you."
"No, do it for you," Emily said. "Do something fun and unpredictable."
"I'll try," Alex said. She patted Emily's cheeks. "But for now I'm going to do my very predictable skincare routine, make a cup of boring peppermint tea with my illegal electric kettle, and do my ASL homework in bed. While you are probably going to watch Tiktoks on max volume until you fall asleep without taking your makeup off again."
Emily grinned. "You know you love me anyways," she said.
Haley struggled to pull her coat on over her uniform as she hurried down the steps of her dorm. She'd overslept and Harper hadn't bothered to wake her up. And it was the one morning she actually wanted to be up as early as possible. The cast list was supposed to be posted, and she was desperate to see if she made it.
One of the reasons she'd fought so hard to go to St. Thaddeus was for their theatre program, but she hadn't expected how hard she would have to keep fighting. There were always dozens of girls at every audition, competing tooth and nail for a handful of roles. Back home she always got lead roles, and it was a shock when she was only cast in the ensemble of Hello Dolly, and she didn't get cast in the winter blackbox show at all.
At least it motivated her to work hard. She did some community theatre over the summer, and worked with her voice teacher, and while she hadn't worked up the courage to start actual dance classes (the ballet students were intense and she was intimidated) she at least learned a lot from cheerleading.
Haley hurried down the path, her heart beating wildly as she caught sight of the students swarming around the list posted to the dining hall doors. Please let me get something good, please let me get something good, she thought fervently.
She squirmed her way past the other kids and scanned anxiously for her name. For a horrible sickening second she couldn't find it, and then-
Ensemble/ u/s Julia: Haley Brooks
She stared at it in shock. Understudy. That was huge.
After a second she ran into the dining hall, scanning the seats for her friends. "Harper!" she called. "Harper, did you see?"
"Yeah, isn't it great?" Harper said as she tossed her dark hair over her shoulder and beamed. "I'm shocked, sophomores never get leads!"
"Right?" Haley said. "I hope I get at least one performance, but even just rehearsing it will be fun."
Harper wrinkled her nose in confusion. "What are you talking about?" she said.
Haley blinked. "I…I got understudy for Julia," she said.
"Oh, you did? That's great!" Harper said. "I got Holly." She smiled, her teeth white against her pink lip gloss. "The actual track, not the understudy."
Haley froze. "That's great," she said. "Congratulations." Her excitement felt like a popped balloon in her chest. Harper had already turned to someone else at their table, talking about the first rehearsal. "I'm…I'm going to go get breakfast."
She joined the line quietly, the echoing buzz of chatter in the dining hall blurring in her ears. It was stupid. It was so stupid to compare herself, and even more to be upset. She didn't even really want to play Holly, and Harper was talented. And she was understudying for Julia, the lead, the role she actually wanted. Sure, she might not actually get to do a performance, but at least it would be in the playbill.
"Morning, Haley!"
She glanced over her shoulder. "Hi, Penny," she said. The younger girl was pink cheeked and grinning so brightly it looked like her face might split in two. "Did you get cast?"
"I did!" Penelope said happily. "Ensemble, and the Cyndi Lauper impersonator! What did you get?"
"I'm ensemble too," Haley said. "And understudy."
Penelope's eyes widened behind her round pink glasses. "Oh my god, that's amazing," she said. "Who?!"
"Um…for Julia."
Penelope screeched, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. "Oh my god, that's amazing!" she said. "A lead! You're understudying a lead!" Haley laughed, feeling her cheeks heat up a little self-consciously. Penelope whirled around, nudging past Derek and JJ to get to Hotch. "Hotch! Did you hear?"
He turned around as she tugged frantically on his arm. "What? What's going on?" he said.
"Haley got the understudy for Julia!" Penelope said. "The lead!"
Hotch smiled at her, his dark eyes crinkling up in the corners. "That's great," he said. "Congrats."
She knew she was blushing and she tried to will herself to stop. "Thanks," she said. "I'll be mostly just ensemble, though, I don't know if I'll get to go on."
"Oh good, we're all in the ensemble!" Penelope said. "We can spend so much time together, it's going to be so much fun!"
"Yeah," Haley said, smiling at Hotch. "Yeah, it will be."
Alex pressed her fingertips to her temples and gritted her teeth as she stared at the page. She had planned to do her Russian class reading during her library desk hours, but she had read the same page three times and nothing was making any sense.
"…Alex?"
She glanced up. James stood in front of the desk, shifting his weight a little as if he was nervous. "I was going to ask you something, but…you seem really stressed," he said. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she said. She leaned her cheek on her hand and gazed up at him. "Remember last year, when I was so excited about studying Russian?"
He grinned and leaned his folded arms on the desk. "I seem to recall that, yeah."
"Yeah, I'm not super excited about it right now," she said. She gestured at the page. "I can't see straight."
"Maybe you need a little break," James said. "You could take a few minutes and sit with us. I think Emily's making a Honeybean run, do you want anything?"
She shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I need to get this reading done."
"Take a break," James said gently. "Take five minutes and do a little shelving, if you still feel like you need to get something productive done. You'll feel better after you walk around." He smiled at her. "I know you. You need a break."
She smiled up at him. "Yeah, you're probably right," she said. She closed her textbook, making a mental note of the page number, and walked around to the other side of the desk. "Wait, you said you had something to ask me?"
He shook his head, his cheeks turning faintly pink. "It's…it's not a big deal, it can wait," he said. "Let me know if you change your mind about coffee."
He headed back to the table, and Alex nudged her cart of books forward. James was right, walking around would help to clear her head, and the books needed to get shelved anyway.
Russian needs to get done first, she thought. If I still have time before dinner, I should probably go to the studio and run my variation again before my private tomorrow morning. And then after dinner I promised JJ and Penelope I would look over their history papers. Oh, but that works because Aaron asked if I could help him put Spencer to bed, he's having trouble sleeping again. And then tomorrow-
She stopped and leaned heavily on the cart, suddenly overwhelmed. Emily was right. She never slowed down. She never had time for fun. She was always studying and working and helping and planning ahead for the next day.
I'm seventeen, she thought. I should be going to parties. I should be going on dates. I should be staying up late for no reason and sleeping in and doing stupid teenager stuff.
She shelved the remaining books on the cart without really thinking about it, her mind tumbling and whirling too fast to think anything through properly. What would it be like to just slow down and do something fun and stupid? Be a little reckless for once? Could she even do that?
She pushed the cart towards her friends, still caught in her trance. "…okay, okay, I think I have everything," Emily said, typing everything into her phone. "God, I don't know how I'm going to carry all this. Alex, are you sure you want anything?"
"Yeah," Alex said slowly.
"Chai latte?"
She frowned. "Could you get me a frap?" she asked. She never got fraps. She always felt like they were too unhealthy, and she felt bad for much extra effort it seemed to be for the baristas. But she's always wanted to try one. "Um…a cookies 'n' cream one?"
"Yeah, sure," Emily said as she added it to her list. "Unusual choice for you, but okay."
Alex drummed her fingers on the handle of the library cart. A bold choice. She did it. A small one, but still.
"Hey, Alex," a voice called from across the library.
It took a second to register. "Oh, hi, John," she said. "Are you looking for another book recommendation?"
"Not this time, actually," he said as he caught up to her. "I was looking for you."
"Oh," she said. "Okay."
John smiled at her with those piercing blue eyes. "I was just wondering…if you'd like to go see a movie in town with me next weekend," he said.
Alex's mouth went dry. "Oh," she said in a small voice. "Like…like a date?"
John laughed a little. "Yeah, like a date," he said. "I'm getting a car this week, and I thought I'd ask if you like to go out with me."
An electric shock ran through her body. A date. She was being asked out on a date. For next weekend. But this week she needed to prep for midterms, and there was an oral presentation coming up, and extended library hours-
"Yes," she blurted out. "Yes. Okay. I will. I will…go on a date with you next weekend."
John's eyes lit up. "Awesome," he said. "I was really hoping you would say yes." He took her hand and pressed a folded little piece of paper in her palm. "That's my number, feel free to text me whenever."
"Sure," she said, the edges of the paper cutting into her damp palm.
"Seven o'clock on Friday?"
"It's a date," she said, and he laughed happily as he half walked, half jogged out of the library.
She turned to her friends and stared at them in disbelief. "I…I have a date," she said, bewildered.
"Yeah, you sure do, champ," Dave said. "Good, uh…good job."
They all seemed as startled as she was, as if they also couldn't believe that practical, predictable Alexandra Miller had spontaneously said yes to a date, her first real date.
James seemed more than startled. All the color had drained from his face, and for a horrible second it almost looked like he was on the verge of tears. But he smiled at her, and she figured she was imagining things.
"Happy for you, Alex," was all he said.
