AUGH! -runs this way and that trying to get things done- Ok, you could say this is a very special update, mainly because I'm having an extreme panic attack right now. I aked my mom why there were two letters from my school in the mail (because nothing good ever comes from there) and she said that she's going to talk to me about it when she gets home. I went downstairs and rooted through the mail, and it seems that I have an F in algebra even with tutoring, and mostly Ds and Cs. So I'm kinda in deep water here.

Plus it doesn't help that when I talked to my Mom over the phone before we hung up, she asked me (not in the same words) if I was going to kill myself while they were gone. I recently went through a period of suicidal thoughts that I am now going to therapy for, but why does everyone always assume that every little kick is going to make me go emo and slit my wrists?! I want to get past this, but if everyone keeps thinking I'm a loose cannon, it's only going to get worse. And even though she said it was an honest fear, it only makes me feel worse for scaring her in the first place.

So yeah, there probably won't be an update until I get myself out of that Hell called bad grades. Plus, I think it kinda sucks that the next couple of years of my life have to be so freakin' serious, because they're going to define the rest of my life, when all I really want to do is enjoy the little time I have left. Great, not I'm making myself sad again...

Anyways, here's chapter five.


Chapter Five

Hisoka was annoyed as hell. He had been served a huge lecture, rant, and a stern talking-to all rolled up into one convenient little package. Tatsumi had chewed his ass back in the office. And Hisoka had to go and see Chief Konoe now that Tatsumi was through with him.

Tsuzuki wasn't even allowed to go with him. Not that Hisoka felt that he necessarily needed his partner for his meeting with the Chief, but the elder shinigami's overbearing presence was oddly relaxing to him. As much as he told himself that he didn't need his partner, Hisoka couldn't help but feel a little down.

Hisoka supposed that he should be grateful that Tsuzuki was the one who usually got in trouble, and that he himself had a relatively clean record with Konoe. He made an effort to keep somewhat easy relationships with his fellow shinigami (excluding Saya, Yuma, and Terazuma since he hated Tsuzuki and generally avoided Hisoka). Those relationships were nothing that you'd call close, but were still comfortable.

He pulled up before the door to the chief's office and took a deep breath, knocking before going in. The room was occupied by a pair of comfortable brown couches and plants were everywhere.

The Chief looked up from his desk as Hisoka shut the door quietly behind himself. "Well, I'll be damned. And here I thought that Watari was just causing up trouble again. Welcome back, Kurosaki."

Hisoka stopped in front of the desk and managed a nod of his head. "It's good to be back, Sir."

There was silence for a moment. "Where have you been?"

"Hyuga, in Kyushu."

"Have you been well?"

"Unfortunately, not really."

"That's a damn shame."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

Silence descended again. Well, what did you expect? Hisoka thought to himself. I mean, you leave for five years and then show up again out of the freakin' blue! Of course it's going to be difficult to hold a conversation with someone who hasn't even heard from you in half a decade!

"You know, we all missed you, Tsuzuki most of all. Sit down."

"Huh?" Hisoka snapped out of his silent reverie and took a seat on the couch.

"It's true. You'd be surprised. We were all complete wrecks. It wasn't as bad as if someone passed on to Heaven, but it was still pretty bad. I nearly got sick of leaving my office seeing the way everyone was."

"It was that bad?"

"Oh yeah. Tsuzuki was the worst. He hardly ever went by the office anymore; he was too busy out looking for you. I would have to call him on his cell phone in the field if he had a case that needed solving. It's kind of sad, really; he finished all of his cases in record time, but then he went back to searching."

I didn't think he would miss me that much. Hisoka realized with sickening clarity. I was too afraid of hurting them with my powers to realize how much I was hurting them with my absence.

Konoe stopped and rubbed his temples. "I… don't know what to say… Damnit, Kurosaki, what happened?"

Hisoka looked away, ashamed of himself. "I was afraid… afraid of hurting everyone."

"How?" Konoe's expression was puzzled.

Hisoka slowly reached out with his mind, making the box of sweets on Konoe's desk slide across the desk, before launching a chocolate into the air and into his outstretched hand. Konoe's jaw dropped. Hisoka could feel surprise emanating from him, and it was making his head hurt.

A knock at the door distracted them both. "Come in." Konoe called.

The door opened, and Tsuzuki walked in. Contrary to his usual cheerful expressions, his face was dead serious. He walked across the room and sat down on the couch next to his partner, folding his legs and remaining silent, as if daring either Konoe or Hisoka to protest.

Hisoka thought about chewing him out, but the look in his partner's amethyst eyes was able to melt all protest from him in an instant, so he made himself comfortable, tension easing out of his shoulders as he slumped slightly in his seat. Tsuzuki smiled at his partner's reaction and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. Hisoka closed his eyes and relaxed against the back of the couch. His mind wandered a little, and he lost touch with reality for a moment…

"Ahem." Hisoka was jerked out of his daydreaming by Konoe clearing his throat impatiently. "What is the nature of your… power, Kurosaki?"

Hisoka gulped uncomfortably as he shifted in his seat. "Emotional."

Tsuzuki inhaled sharply, and Hisoka gently probed his mind, though he pulled out quickly as he felt both shock and worry, which made him a little happy that Tsuzuki had his barriers particularly high today. Konoe's frown deepened. "How did you first figure it out?"

"Well, the night that I left, I had a nightmare, the kind that scares the crap out of you. Unfortunately for me, I had a very rude awakening: in the form of a screw nailing me right in the noggin'." Hisoka tapped his head right above the brow. "Unfortunately, considering that I wasn't even consciously directing my powers, it left little to the imagination of what I could do without intending it."

"Do you have anymore control than you did back then?"

"A little." Hisoka's frown creased as he opened his hand, which still had the chocolate in it, made the sweet spin around the couch a few times, and returned it to the box of Konoe's desk. However, about halfway in the air, it faltered and bounced off the desk. "It's… stubborn. Not as hard to control as my empathy, but challenging in its own unique way."

"Stubborn, huh? Kinda like you." Tsuzuki said with a smile. Hisoka turned glared at him.

Konoe stood up and walked to the door. "That will be all."

"That's it?" Hisoka jumped over the back of the couch and balked in surprise. "Why are you letting me go, Chief?"

"Well, I've heard your explanation, I know you're an honest person, and more importantly, you've already had your ass ripped by Tatsumi, and that's more than enough for a lifetime, let alone a day. I want you to take the rest of the day off before officially returning to work." Konoe smiled. "Good to have you back, Kurosaki."

He left the room, and Hisoka turned to Tsuzuki, who was grinning at him from the back of the couch, where he had his head resting on his arms. "What do you want?"

"Nothin'." Tsuzuki replied nonchalantly as he stood up and folded his arms behind his head. Seeing Hisoka's resulting pout, he grinned. "What do I usually want? You, me, and a restaurant for tea. Now."


So, now that that's over, I would like to express my undying loyalty to my reviewers. Once I get past my problems, I will be back. Nobody can make me stay away for long. Oh, and I'm kinda on borrowed time here, so I didn't have time for any shout-outs. I'll put them in once I get back. Love ya guys! See ya!