Chapter 4 - The Windy City (in black and white)
In the time I called home, the journey from Forks, Washington to Chicago, Illinois would take around two days by public transport. The ordinary person would dress for comfort in sweats and a t-shirt, relaxing in the padded seats of the trains along the way. 1918 was a very different story. The trains we took were loud and uncomfortable. The wooden seats became uncomfortable after about thirty seconds and wearing a heavy cotton dress was really not fun, especially in June. Whoever said ladies were not supposed to sweat had obviously never made this trip in these conditions. Whats more, a two day journey actually took five. Jacob was quiet for the first two days. I could tell he wasn't happy about what I was intending to do, but he was also avoiding discussing it, almost as if to acknowledge it would make it the truth. This made the first part of the trip pass very slowly. I had my ipod in my bag, but there was no chance I could risk slipping my earbuds in. If someone saw that tech we would be finished before we had even begun. So we sat in silence, watching the country slip by slowly. Occasionally some other passenger would sit by us for a while and then leave when we didn't engage them. What could we say? Hey, how bout them Yankees? Hell I wasn't good enough at history to remember what I could say and what I couldn't.
Then we hit Fargo, North Dakota. Fortunately for me the route had followed the northern line so the temperature had kept in the 70s, but now we were starting to move south and I could feel the difference. I looked at Jacob, trying to keep still. He looked back at me.
"Bella, are you as itchy as I am under there?" I cracked a smile and nodded quickly. "Thank god for that. How did people travel like this?"
"I guess it explains why people stayed in a town all their lives." I ventured. "And why people travel all they can now that it's easy."
"You have a point there." He chuckled, his easy smile was back. Thank the lord. "So what's the plan Bells? I mean, what are you going to do? Save him, run away together?"
It was the first time I'd actually considered the task at hand. Thus far it had just been about the journey in my head. Quil the elder had told us to go to Chicago and that was what we were doing. Now that he asked I had to admit it. "Jake, I have no idea." His eyes sparkled and his grin did not fade. "You know I guess with all the excitement of the trip I kind of avoided the thought of what comes next."
"But this was your plan all along, wasn't it?" He was still smiling but his voice had taken on a harder edge. "To stop him from leaving." I shook my head but he ignored me. "No, it's fine, I mean I suppose I always knew, y'know? I mean the thought of you actually staying with me for me..."
"No Jake, don't think that. I love spending time with you."
"Maybe, but you'll never actually love me, will you?" He was still smiling, but now it was a resigned smile.
"I accepted his leaving. Sure to begin with I thought I could try and go back to before my birthday and stop the whole thing, but I came to terms with my fate. I moved on and I can't help feeling you're my future, Jake, you." His eyes widened as the words sunk in. "This whole thing has been about my accepting his not being in my life, but on my own terms. When he left I was so shocked I couldn't take anything in, and when I came back into myself I realised I didn't have the final lasting memory of him that I wanted. Then your idea, your machine, gave me an idea of my own. To go and see him before he left, get a long last look so that I could pull on the memory when I needed it. Like I said, I thought about trying to make him stay, but then I thought long and hard about causality and fate Jake, I'm accepting that he didn't want me. It's taking me time to acclimatise but I'm getting there."
He sat there in silence for a while, just looking at me. I couldn't tell if he wanted to laugh, cry or yell at me. Then finally he spoke very softly. "Sorry Bella." His words were genuine. "I guess I never really saw it from your point of view." Then he pondered for a moment. "One last look?" I nodded. "Do you think that's what Quil sent us to Chicago for? One last look at the human version?" I shrugged. "Maybe seeing him as a normal average guy will make you see me in a different light..." He muttered.
"Why would I want to see you differently Jake?" I asked sincerely.
He blushed through the makeup. "Oh shit! That wasn't my inside voice, was it?" I shook my head grinning widely. "Oh, um, er, hey look at that tree..."
And that was enough to break the tension. He went back to his old self, warm and funny. We laughed together at the strange people we saw, especially in Minnesota. That station platform was full of seriously crazy looking people. Then, at last, we pulled into Chicago Station. It wasn't a town I had ever visited, but it felt somehow familiar, possibly from TV. The station was very nice, massive pillars on the outside gave it a Greek look. The sun was shining and people were everywhere. Jacob lead me, following directions, to a hotel near Garfield Park on the west side of town. I didn't ask where the cash had come from to fund this trip. Honestly I didn't want to know. We passed ourselves off as brother and sister, and the hotel clerk seemed to buy it. The area was nice, a few new buildings in the process of being built. There were people everywhere, and mostly the traffic on the streets was foot traffic or horse drawn carriages. I think the one thing that really disappointed me was that the whole thing was in living colour. I had expected the air to turn black and white or sepia or something. Seeing everything that should be old and worn ad brand new was bizarre but my mind was beginning to accept it. Then it happened.
It was the morning of our second day and I had ventured out to get some ice from the store across the street. A billboard outside told of the nearing end of the war. The war? Oh hell, it was World War One! The great war was raging in Europe. Wow. That made me feel very small. Anyway, I continued into the store after my reverie, and snagged a bag of ice from a big bucket. It seemed to be a quick seller, but at only 1c it wasn't hard to see why. I moved toward the till absent minded, wondering if Walt Disney had started smoking yet, when I saw a familiar face.
I held my breath. There he was. My heart fluttered in my chest. It was strange. His hair was a duller shade, less of the bronze hue. His cheeks held colour, and he wasn't quite the chiselled greek god that I remembered. God, had my memory worked so fast in lifting his image onto a pedestal? He was still very beautiful, but well within the human spectrum. Then I remembered what he had told me. The transformation changed a person. Made them much more beautiful so as to attract their prey easier. Still, it was amazing to witness. I drunk the image in, fearing that this was my last opportunity. Live with the memory of him as a human, and that will allow me to move on. No longer would my mind question if this beautiful creature could have loved me. Instead the question related to a mere mortal, and I could live with that so much easier.
I was just pondering how I could thank Quil the elder when he caught me staring. Oh shit. "Hello." He said, his crooked smile spreading across his face. "I'm Edward." He extended a hand, which I took and very nearly shook until I remembered to do a kind of curtsey thing.
"Bel...Sorry, Betty... That's me, I'm Betty." I almost forgot the name I had checked into the motel under. His smile widened.
"You speak strangely Betty, where are you from?" He was enraptured. Like I was some kind of shiny new toy.
"Oh, uh, a long way away." My mind raced. How to talk to him. I had to get away. "Washington State."
Before he could reply in his musical voice his name was called by a female, another sing song voice, as tuneful as his, and I took the opportunity to get out of there, dropping my ice bag and making a run for it. The sun was bright in the sky and it was warm outside. The horn of the car was loud. Too loud. Then it was dark.
