a/n: I'm so sorry it took so long. Life's been...umm...okay. But thank you everyone for your lovely comments. I almost want to give up on this story...but I don't know...I put so much time into it and it is special to me because it was my first big work...and I just want to thank everyone who stuck with me for all this time. A BIG THANK YOU to SeriousSam for all his help in the past. Please see his works! He's a great writer and person...so I'm sorry for posting this without letting you know...I'm being impulsive.
Ahhh okay...let's start.
I Do It For You
The rain had stopped, but the clouds still hung low, biding their time. The gray atmosphere seemed to pervade the hospital room, no sun peeking in through the small window.
The only color in the room seemed to be the orange of his civilian clothes and the deep red hibiscus blooms placed inelegantly in a grimy glass of water. They were short stemmed and brilliant, full petals curling out, beckoning any surveyor to guess their hidden meanings.
They were the only sign that Hinata had ever been there and they were the first things Hanabi saw when she opened her eyes.
Her sight was interrupted, patched and blurred until she could just barely make out the pale furnishings of the room, the red blobs in the corner on a nightstand, the gentle beeping of a monitor flaring green as she wondered if this was how her sister saw the world.
Eventually the blurry red blobs resolved themselves into the groaned, rubbing at her throbbing forehead, trying to assuage the pain blossoming behind the bandages.
'I deserve this. For what I did to her.'
She felt a grim satisfaction at that thought, and a small smile flitted across her face as she noticed who her only visitor was.
The orange became quite clear and she winced because it was so bright in comparison to the rest of the frigid pallor of the decor.
"You're awake!" He chirped, and she couldn't help the louder groan that escaped her.
There was too much blue in those eyes. Too much open sky and cheery hope now. It only made her headache worse.
"Too loud." She groused, hoarsely gripping the sides of her head. Her lengthy brown hair fell into her eyes, her vision still a bit blurry.
He shrugged apologetically, giving a sheepish grin. When he saw her hands come to cup her throat, he immediately drew closer to her hospital bed, taking care not to stumble over the edges of slipping silk sheets.
He quickly poured some water from the glass pitcher on the bedside table into a paper cup. He handed it to her as a peace offering, relief and amusement quirking his lips into a small smile.
She took the proffered drink without an ounce of hesitancy, bringing it to her chapped lips with a zeal rivaling his for ramen.
He heaved a sigh of relief, the subtle tension of his movements became more relaxed, languid almost.
As annoying and scary as the brat was, she had been his only ally within the Hyuuga during Hinata's absence. He had grown an odd sort of fondness for her. Hanabi had been the last remaining tie between him and Hinata. And it was with a bittersweet determination that he had tackled the seemingly minor Hyuuga problems cropping up over the past five years with Hanabi's intel.
Hinata had come to him only a day after returning from Kusa, her face pale and hands trembling, no glasses in sight, telling him in a flat tone that Hanabi had been branded. Immediately, he had followed on her heels, blazing through the village to check up on the kid.
Still confusion reigned in his mind, as he wondered why she had stopped fighting after all these years. The brand had always loomed as a threat over her. It was only Hinata that somehow had remained as a barrier between the younger Hyuuga and the dreaded seal.
She had done so much to stop it from happening, and yet now it all seemed futile.
Hanabi had seemed so frail, sleep restless and bandages tight across her high cheekbones. Three days unconscious, and Hinata had not been able to take it no longer. To his dismay, she refused to speak, only staying by her sister's bedside, tucking her in occasionally, mopping up her forehead when her fever rose.
And as soon as Hiashi had stepped into the room, the anger crossing Hinata's expression was none like he had ever seen before. It was frigid. Sharp and piercing like shards of a broken mirror. It was almost a mirror in his thoughts. Hinata's cold eyes had turned nearly white, her stance was tall, and despite her short stature, she had managed to embody the same dark and light pride that Hiashi held in abundance. Twin expressions marred by only the blue of Hinata's hair in the harsh light of the hospital room.
She had brushed past the previous clan head, back straight, eyes like stars, and tendrils of hair floating behind her.
Hiashi had said nothing. He had merely taken the chair previously occupied by Hinata, and tenderly took up the towel to begin wiping Hanabi's forehead. He ignored the assigned medic when she came to check on her patient and he ignored Naruto's occasional presence, white eyes set on the girl who looked so much like him.
Occasionally, an odd expression had come to his visage, and Naruto recognized it with some surprise. Guilt…
Naruto had come to visit again today after he had finished some of his assigned Hokage duties, nervousness and hope buoying him through this second hand hurt. It seemed his interaction and involvement with this family would cause him never ceasing pain...but this was something he had promised to Neji and to her...and it would be a cold day in hell before he broke that promise.
But still…
"Why?"
The question slipped past his mental guards with ease, flying from his tongue as easily as most of his speech seemed gifted to do.
Hanabi's large eyes turned to him, weary, but certain. She looked far older than her eighteen years, the lines in her forehead and around her mouth reminding him of her just-as-tired father.
"I do it for her."
"But she did all of that stuff to protect you!"
His gaze turned accusatory, admonishing her decision.
"I know. And that's why I had to free her from that burden. She'll have the freedom she needs now without...this," She gestured towards her bandages, "without this being a threat."
"BUT-"
"Too loud." Hanabi interrupted, wincing slightly.
"S-sorry...it's just...she went through a lot…"
"She did it for you too." Her pained glance fell on him, daring him to deny her claim.
But he knew all too well that he couldn't. His silence was all the answer she needed.
"So you finally realized it? Good." She grunted, and rested her head back against the pillow. Her eyes became glued to the ceiling, tracing patterns in the dots and slashes of the tiles.
He felt the heat float to his cheeks, faint embarrassment rising at the thought that this little girl was far too perceptive for his liking. He tugged at the zipper on his orange jacket, the glint reminding him of the quicksilver in Hinata's eyes and he knew his face would just grow redder if he thought of her anymore.
"She'll probably be at one of the training grounds. She'll be really angry." He quickly said, trying to divert the subject.
"Mmm…"
"I should probably go tell her you're awake."
"Yeah…"
"I'm gonna go get-"
"She's probably really angry. She won't want to listen."
"So?"
"Tell her old sensei to get her.''
He opened his mouth to protest, to say matter of factly that those two had not spoken in five years and who knew how Kurenai Yuhi would react to the mention of Hinata Hyuuga. For all he knew, she might still resent the abrupt farewell and the long years of silence. His expectations for a favorable reception were not high.
Hanabi cut him off yet again.
"It'll be fine. Trust me."
He nodded, and was about to go when she gripped his wrist.
He stopped, because there were tears gathering at the corners of her eyes and rolling slowly down her cheeks. And there was worry in her look that stirred pity in his heart.
"What if it's not enough? What happens...when you're not strong enough to protect something that is precious to you?"
He covered her hand with his, giving a gentler smile.
"You get stronger."
There was nothing but the crazily beating lub-dub of her heart, the sound loud and all consuming as she covered her ears with tiny, trembling fingers.
Fear had always controlled her actions. There was nothing new about this.
She still heard them. Heard them calling her name and the delirious shouting drifting through the now empty halls of the main compound. The fever had yet to break and she felt the stifling heat of the summer's evening.
Her father was in the room now, most likely still having that death drip on her mother's pale hand, never leaving her side despite a wailing Hanabi or a missing Hinata. He was consumed with grief.
But Hinata could not...would not...refused to look upon her dying mother. She could not bear to see the half mad, gasping spectre on her mother's bed with gaunt cheeks and those dull purple eyes. She buried herself deeper into the mass of clothes at the back of the little closet.
Her knees were drawn up tighter to her chin, head tucked and ears covered.
Another cry joined in the pained yells and Hinata knew that Hanabi had woken up. Little sister Nabi whom she had promised her mother would be taken care of.
The desire to protect someone she loved was stronger than her fears.
She burst forth from the closet, tripping on the folds of her tiny kimono.
Weaving past rushing servants, invisible to the frantic rush, she made haste to the nursery, arriving before any of the attendants.
And as she looked into the crib, tiny hands grasping even tinier fingers to comfort the wailing babe.
"Shh...It's okay Nabi-chan...I'm here…"
She kept whispering it to herself and to the calming baby, wincing as a new yell echoed through the halls.
She drew strength from holding her sister.
But she would regret when her mother died that same night, Hinata's name on her lips.
She hadn't said goodbye.
Thud...thud..thud..
Kiba winced as it continued, the everlasting sounds of a poor training post being decimated past recognition.
"What's it gonna be now? Almost three hours...huh Akamaru?"
The dog nin gave a low whine, laying his massive head on outstretched paws.
"I'm worried too, but someone ain't talking!"
He said this a little louder, hoping for to catch her attention for once.
Another whine and then a loud crack had them both looking up at their smallest team member. Red dotted the remains of the wooden post, her hands held in front of her, her shoulders heaving as she gulped for much needed breath.
The back of her dark long sleeve clung to her back, beads of sweat running down her neck and cheeks, hair slipping out of its voluminous bun.
"Uhh...Hinata...I think you should-"
BAM!
She had rounded towards another post, already beginning another barrage of flat palmed strikes, arms moving so fast, he was starting to see doubles.
And he stopped trying to calm her, because the tension in her stance and the flatness of her gaze told him she was furious and the anger was roiling in a way he had rarely seen before. That wasn't determination in those eyes of hers...that was hopelessness and fury, burning like cold starlight.
The way her eyes narrowed too did not make her look any happier. Kiba couldn't tell if it was because of her newly poor eyesight (something that still rankled) or if it was because she was angry, but he didn't want to test it.
Her chakra was rising, and even the cool autumn air could do nothing to quell the fire within her at the moment.
But to whom the anger was directed towards was unclear even to her. There was a large part, pricking and stabbing like shrapnel in her chest all aimed towards herself. Another chunk directed towards her father...another to Kazuhiko...another to Kusano...another to the Daimyo...to the Hyuuga council…to Ino's rumors...to Fate
"Hanabi knew her place. You are the Head of the Clan now. Do what you must."
She punctuated each thought with another strike, relishing in the pang of hurt that raced up her arms with each hit and the ache of sore muscles tearing with overuse.
"I'm such a fool. Such a weak pitiful fool." She murmured quietly. "I failed her."
"I failed her."
Thud
"I failed her."
Thud
"I failed her."
"HINATA HYUUGA!"
Every muscle in her body froze, bittersweet feelings of affection and fear running through her in an iron grip. That voice...she had been expecting Kiba's usual complaints, instead the person shouting her name was…
"Kurenai-sensei…"
The name came so easily, years of camaraderie, admiration, support and love rushing to her. Guilt flared anew because she had not come to her yet, shame stopping her from ever making the visit.
She could face Kiba-kun's and Shino-kun's hurt and questions...she could face Ino's curiosity...Naruto's gentle inquiries...but this was something else.
She turned ever so slowly, vaguely noting that Kiba was not behind her like he had been a few moments ago...or was it perhaps an hour ago?
Her thoughts stilled all at once. They didn't matter because...
There at the edges of Training Ground 8, feet planted firmly, form tall and face inscrutable stood her teacher...her friend...her mother figure when no one else had been there.
The years had certainly been kind to Kurenai Yuhi.
Her eyes shown with that same warmth the color of currant wine. Her curling hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, some loose strands brushed the collar of her green jounin vest. Long gone was the bandage dress or even the plainer dresses she had worn when on maternity leave. They were replaced by a set of dark pants and a red long sleeves rolled up to her elbows.
Time passed quickly, and there seemed to be few moments between Kurenai-sensei's arrival and her grasping Hinata's bleeding hands gently to bandage them.
Her eyes widened as she realized they were the same type as those wound around Hanabi's forehead...bandages that would hide a mark forever binding her sister to a life of servitude. The dead weight of failure fell heavy on her once more. The anger turned inward and cold.
But Kurenai did not stop winding the bandages, Hinata's blood staining them pink. Her tone was steady as she wound the long, white cloth over stinging palms.
"Naruto told me that Hanabi is awake. She's been asking for you."
And just like that, Hinata burst into tears, burying her head in Kurenai's ready shoulder. The smell of hibiscus blossoms flooded her senses, and the reality of her return finally broke through.
As reluctant as it was, she was ready.
The walk to Kurenai-sensei's home was painfully forgiving.
Hinata had always been the type to punish herself more thoroughly for transgressions than others would. Bad habits die hard, and she had turned into an incoherent, blubbering mess who babbled apologies and spoke in half-truths.
But Kurenai-sensei merely embrace her long lost student and told her that she understood that now was not the time to talk. Curiosity had never been her weakness and understanding had always been her strength.
So for the second time in a few days, Hinata let herself be cradled and embraced by a person she had hurt.
The rest of the week passed by in a flurry of activity.
Hinata was pronounced the official heiress of the clan, given silken cream robes with the Hyuuga crest emblazoned on the obi and rushed through a bureaucratic nightmare worse than any of the physical rituals could have been.
Hiashi did his best to guide his eldest, but the strain in their relationship did nothing to help matters.
They would walk silently through the corridors together, heads held high and silvery eyes sneaking surreptitious glances at each other when they thought the other was not looking.
Hinata's anger was rekindled every time she saw the bandages on her sister's forehead, and no excuses could be made because she knew that in the long term, this was all for the best. A ruthless apathy would sometimes tug at her reasoning, and she would justify Hiashi's decision with all the cool precision that was deemed perfect for a Hyuuga.
But then she would remember who she was, and that she was as much a Hyuuga as she was a Konoha shinobi. And leaving behind anyone, sacrificing someone when there could have been another way, was tantamount to becoming the lowest kind of scum.
So here she was, rounding the corner on the outside of the compound, tired and needing respite from the endless parade of nonsense that she had been assailed with.
Her robes had been discarded into a messy pile back at her sparse, unused bedroom in the main house. Her casual, civilian clothes were a nice break from it all. For once, she could feel a little free and a little more normal.
Her steps grew lighter, her smile a little wider as she resolved to spend today for herself. She was already making a list of things she would like to: visit Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-kun, buy some flowers to liven up the little room at the inn she was still renting, perhaps invite Tenten for a long needed talk...
Unfortunately for her, plans have a bad habit of being derailed.
She turned the corner at the far west end of the compound where the greenery devolved into the dull concrete of the town and where there stood an annoyingly in-her-way Sasuke Uchiha.
His dark eyes roamed over her buoyed expression, narrowing when he caught sight of the pendant that dangled in plain sight against her gray sweater.
Instantly...so quickly that the poor girl had a hard time remembering anything….he was in front of her, an accusing grimace etched onto his pretty face.
"We need to talk."
Hinata Hyuuga's week had officially turned sour, and she refused to be intimidated by a pompous, overly worried rude person who could not even give her a polite greeting. She didn't know how much he knew, nor how much he cared, but she understood at least part of his motivation.
Protect Naruto. Protect the village. Above all.
Too bad his black and white stance on politics made him entirely too blind to see that they were on the same side.
She met his challenge, a polite smile curling across her cheeks.
"There's a teahouse I've been meaning to visit. Would you like to accompany me, Sasuke-san?"
He nodded his head, uncrossing his arms to gesture that she should lead the way.
And so it began.
Delicate. Not a threat. The words bounced in his head as he ran an insultingly quick assessment on the pale, tiny creature seated politely before him. He struggled to ignore the physical cues of her frailty, knowing that she was far more dangerous than she let on. Her skin was flushed a sickly shade of red, and her eerily blank, lavender eyes were lowered demurely behind her glasses. She sipped intermittently at her steaming cup of tea, slim fingers clutching the swan-like handle; porcelain upon porcelain.
Her little feet tapped lightly to the soft threads of music permeating the already noisy café, and he
regretted placing this encounter on her turf.
The bright red and gold of the decorations hurt his sense of décor, the sickly sweet autumn theme
wrapped them up in a sphere of pumpkin spice and a suffocating warmth. She seemed to be enjoying herself though, her head bobbing slightly and wisps of hair slipping from her sloppy bun. Her plain gray sweater hung off her shoulders and either it was far too large or she was far too small.
His lower lip curled minutely in disgust. How had this waif thrown the illustrious feudal court into the throes of such an intricately designed chaos? How had she once again captured Naruto's fancy…yes, fancy…he refused to believe that even his idiot of a best friend was stupid enough to let his heart be stolen by this little liar.
As different as he was from the loud and brash Naruto, Sasuke had just about the same amount of patience; none at all.
"Leave him alone." He said flatly, dark eyes boring holes into that dark head of hers.
Her head stopped its bobbing, and she lifted it to look at him, past the rim of her teacup; sharp eyes cutting through the steam of the piping hot Hibiscus tea.
"Whatever do you mean by that, Sasuke-san?" She lilted, smiling slightly.
Was it just him, or was that the faint echo of steely doors being slammed shut? Had this been the same look she had given Naruto on the day before the drunken debacle? If so, he could see why he had been so hurt. Naruto was just that kind of a sucker; a few carefully aimed words and a frigid look from even the most distant of friends were enough to send him into a depressive episode.
She continued to sip at her tea, a maddeningly persistent rhythm which gave him the impression that she was prepared to play that kind of game.
His fingers twitched slightly, and he wanted nothing more than to take his cup of hot matcha tea and throw it on her plain, pale little face. What a shame that the beautiful teacup with its blue vines and gold filigree would probably be destroyed in the process.
"If you hurt him…" He trailed off, the threat heavy in the air. Unspoken was that his protection extended towards the rest of Konoha…
'If you hurt them…'
Her smile widened, genuinely surprised.
The clink of the teacup on its saucer was almost inaudible, so poised and practiced she was with her tea.
"Is that not a bit hypocritical Sasuke-san?"
She laced her fingers together, and tilted her head ever so innocently. Her eyes looked into his, and he thought it disconcerting; the blankness of her gaze, the penetrating purple hues shifting with her mood.
He understood now why her look had made his heart race so at the very beginning…because it was a perfect mirror. A one way glass that showed him exactly what he was feeling, but none of her thoughts.
And it was frightening, because no other Hyuuga saw as clearly as she did.
He found himself comparing the ghostly color to the vibrant, pained green of someone else's.
The unbidden thought had his breath stopping ever so slightly, and he banished that thread of
contemplation, storing it away in the darkest recesses of his mind, somewhere between the ability to laugh and the image of Rock Lee in a speedo.
Hinata had seen the split-second reaction, the hitched breath, the clenched jaw.
'Guilt.'
She felt a surge of empathy for the man; they were both plagued by the same guilt; the same culpability for pain caused to those they cherished. But she could not let up, not when Sasuke was so keen on unearthing her every emotion; not when he was so willing to expose her.
'We're on the same side, Sasuke-san.' She said in her thoughts, knowing that he would rather go bald than accept any of her assurances.
She chuckled slightly at the image.
"I mean it Hyuuga." He bit out, his fingers twitching some more, his matcha a lukewarm concoction now.
Upon her arrival and his journey with her, nothing but amusement and hope for a resolution had been felt. He had looked forward to her reunion with Naruto, egged on the poor man and nudged him in her general direction.
And then the Hyuuga began their movements again; rumors circling the town like the little fannings in the murky depths of his matcha tea.
He had sent his dearest friend into the clutches of her trap, into the greed of her cursed family.
Hinata may have been skilled in concealment, but she did not enjoy the discomfort of a strained
discussion. Nor did she enjoy inflicting pain by bringing up the past, and so she used an audacious and somewhat unorthodox route to lighten the mood.
Her eyes widened and her mouth parted in seemingly genuine surprise. Her cheeks flushed, and then she said.
"Sasuke-san, have you…have you told him yet?"
Dark brows furrowed over dark eyes, and he grit his teeth. His patience had all but gone. "What are you talking about?"
A delicate hand rose to rest on her chest, a look of soft pity crossed her face and he wondered just what this crazy woman was going on about.
"Oh I see then…" She muttered, and took another sip of her tea; the suspense was maddening.
"What."
"…"
She pursed her lips, tracing the rim of her cup with a delicate finger.
Sasuke did the only thing he could, and picked up his own cup to finally drink his matcha tea. The full bodied beverage rolled past his tongue, the savory blend calming him slightly.
The silence stretched for a bit longer, until her blush grew more pronounced and then…
"So you do love Naruto."
What followed was a choking Sasuke and a bemused Hinata wiping green tea off of her lenses.
"What the actual FUCK, Hyuuga?!"
When she was done cleaning them and returning them to their previous position, she placed a sum of money enough for their drinks, gathered her coat, and stood smoothly.
She smiled down at him one last time.
"Love comes in many forms. Just so you know, I do it for them too, Sasuke-san."
He made no move to leave. He could only stare after her, the tinkling of the bell announcing her departure in a way her first one had never been.
