Chapter 10: In the End
Summary: The connection between Olivia and Rafael deepens as they share insecurities, act out a fantasy, and plan a future together.
Notes: Thanks for sticking with me on this one! It was just an excuse to have Nevada Ramirez, jealous!Rafael, and smut in one place lol.
The following morning, Rafael observed Olivia while she slept. She was the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on, and a soft smile spread across his face as he watched her. She reminded him of an angel, long locks of hair spread like a halo on the pillow, olive skin glowing in the pale morning light that seeped through the curtains.
To think he almost ruined what they had with his insecurity and jealousy, it tore him up inside. He bared his soul to Olivia the night before, yet there was still more he wanted to share with her. Rafael wanted to share everything with her, from his fantasies and hopes down to his fears and worries.
Olivia awoke feeling the heat of Rafael's eyes on her and she smiled contentedly, her fingers tracing along the curve of his face. "Mmm, good morning."
"Morning, love," he replied, lips pressing to her forehead. Sharing soft smiles and gentle touches, the couple eased into full wakefulness together until Rafael decided it was time to share the rest of what he had to say.
"Liv…" He wasn't sure how to even start, he had so much inside him that he needed to share.
"What is it, Raf?" Olivia asked, her fingers cording through his hair. Her brown eyes searched his face, a small, curious smile upon her lips.
"After everything that's happened with my brother and the way I let it affect our relationship, I want to be completely open with you. I don't want to keep feelings or secrets from you, Liv. Ever."
He took a deep breath, green eyes searching her dark brown ones for encouragement and support. He found what he was looking for and caressed her face, tucking locks of her hair behind her ear as he continued.
"Even though I know you and I are good now, I still have insecurities that I never realized would hit me so hard," Rafael explained.
"What kind of insecurities?" Olivia questioned, her voice barely more than a whisper.
They were still in bed, heads cushioned on their pillows, faces inches apart. The position added to the vulnerability of the conversation, and they were both keenly aware of it.
"The kind that make me wonder if and how I measure up. If you compare me to my brother or other men you've been with. If you wish I was better, bigger, more or less romantic, or any number of other things that you might find lacking in me. I worry that you regret the loss of prior relationships or the ones that you never had the opportunity to explore… and that you are just settling for me.
"I know it's not rational and I hate that these thoughts sneak in without my permission. I want to work on eliminating these doubts and I need your help." Rafael's voice tapered off into a murmur, eyes wide as he waited for his girlfriend's reaction.
Olivia was quiet for a few long moments, caught off-guard by the depth of his doubts and insecurities. Rafael could see the wheels turning behind her eyes and he waited patiently for her to formulate a response. In the end, she tipped her head forward, closing the few inches between them, and kissed him soundly. Though it lasted mere seconds, the kiss conveyed so much, and they both leant back with glassy eyes.
"I want you to always tell me your doubts and fears, Rafael, so that I can ease every worry you have. Right now, we'll start with this – you are incomparable to any other man I've ever been with. You are one of a kind. There is not a single thing about you that I find lacking or would want to change. You are perfect just as you are."
They spoke softly for an hour, never moving from the bed. They were wrapped up in each other's arms by the time they finished, and Olivia felt like she understood Rafael Barba in a way she never did before. She would never understand how such a confident and capable man could have so many insecurities, but she was pleased that she could assuage his doubts, particularly the ones in which he worried he wasn't good enough.
"You are the most amazing and wonderful man, Raf. I love you for everything you are and bring to this world. Please, never again doubt that you are good enough." She kissed him again, this time lingering to deepen the kiss.
The return to work on Monday proved distracting with heavy caseloads and investigations. The long days left the couple with few opportunities to see each other outside of work during the next week. Neither of them was satisfied given the recent vulnerabilities they shared and they both craved more emotional and physical closeness.
By late Friday afternoon, Rafael had enough.
Poking his head out of his office, he spoke to Carmen. "Please let Lieutenant Benson know that I need to see her here before she leaves for the day. The sooner, the better."
"Of course," the invaluable woman replied. "Anything else?"
Ignoring the knowing smirk and sparkle in her dark eyes, Rafael shook his head. "Once that's done, you can take off. Enjoy your weekend."
"You too, sir." Her smirk turned into a broad grin as she picked up the office phone to call the 16th.
Ducking back into his office, Rafael shed his suit jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves. He cleared his desk of clutter, readying it for Olivia's arrival. To set the mood, he dimmed the lights and turned on the gas fireplace at the far end of his office. He had plans for them and everything needed to be perfect.
His actual work done for the day; he relaxed on the couch with a glass of scotch while waiting for Olivia to arrive. His mind mulled over his plan, and felt his pants tighten with the images his imagination conjured. He ignored the bulge despite the itch begging him to take it in hand.
Thankfully, Olivia knocked on his door moments later, a broad smile on her face as she greeted him with a kiss. She pulled him close as the kiss deepened, moaning at the feel of him pressing against her.
"Mmmm. Hi, Raf," she purred in his ear as his lips moved along the ridge of her ear and down the delicate skin of her neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. Her hand slipped down his body, grazing his crotch with the barest touch. "What were you thinking about before I arrived?"
"You…" he breathed against her skin, pulling her further into the office as he dimmed the lights and locked the door behind her. With smooth movements, Rafael stripped off her clothing piece by piece, until she stood confidently naked and stunning before him. The sight was incredibly arousing and took his breath away.
"I think you are overdressed for the occasion, Counsellor." Olivia's hands worked his tie from his neck, beginning her slow and deliberate removal of the remaining pieces of his suit. He couldn't keep his hands off her as she stripped him, the intimate kisses and touches stoking the fire deep inside them both.
When they were both naked, Rafael stepped back and took Olivia in with such affection in his heated gaze that she melted against him almost instantly. The lips met softly at first before the rush of emotions and need overtook them. Their mouths and tongues crashing together in a tumultuous kiss, Rafael carefully guided her back toward his desk. Olivia let out a little "oomph" sound when the back of her upper thighs hit the edge of the desk and Rafael bent slightly, lifting her onto the cleared section of the hardwood.
Olivia's thighs parted innately, allowing Rafael to step between them to continue their passionate kisses. Her hips hitched forward, seeking the feel of his cock between her thighs and the delightful weight of it on her most sensitive parts. However, Rafael merely chuckled and tore his lips from hers, removing his glasses before sinking to his knees in front of the desk.
"Rafael," she whined, drawing out the syllables of his name to highlight her frustration.
Grinning up at her, he urged her to lay back as his head dipped between her legs, lips pressing along the inside of her thighs in open-mouth kisses. Olivia's body jerked at the first touch of his tongue on her folds and a deep moan escaped her lips when it swiped against her clit. The sound was music to Rafael's ears, and he dove in, devouring her with single-minded focus, licking and nibbling on the sensitive bud until she came spectacularly.
Chest heaving, Olivia struggled to lift her head. His vibrant green eyes sparkled at her with a self-satisfied grin, his face glistening with her juices. The sight made her pussy throb, and she sat up, still dazed from the strength of her orgasm, hands reaching out to urge him to stand before her again.
How he could ever feel insecure or doubtful about his importance in her life, she would never understand. He wiped the memory of any and every man she'd been with before him from her mind so completely with the way he loved her and made love to her.
Wiping his face, Rafael leaned in to press his lips against Olivia's, his tongue slipping into her mouth to share the taste of her still clinging there. He was painfully hard, his cock throbbing and aching for the feel of her surrounding him.
Gently easing her from the desk, knowing that her muscles were still weak, he breathed into her ear in a sultry whisper. "Turn around. I'm going to bend you over this desk and fuck you, hard." He felt her shudder against his body as her pupils dilated, making her eyes darken into bottomless pools of desire.
A fantasy Olivia only ever voiced aloud with Rafael was about to become reality. She kissed him roughly before turning around. Pressing her torso against the desk, the cool surface causing her nipples to harden impossibly further, and bent her left leg, lifting her knee onto the desk to spread herself for him.
Rafael stood stunned at the vision Olivia created before him, heart thumping in his chest. Wordlessly, he stepped forward, hands caressing her ass and up the ridge of her back. Long fingers tangled in her thick hair as his other hand wandered back down her body, stinging one ass cheek with a single slap along the way, before coming to a stop when two long fingers slid inside her depths.
She was drenched with arousal, already keening for more, begging for his cock to fill her. He could keep her waiting no longer, and lining himself up with one hand, he surged inside his girlfriend. Her walls clamped down on him instantly, causing his hips to jerk at the sensation. After a moment, Rafael moved again, setting an intense pace, hands gripping Olivia's hips as he pounded into her.
The office was filled with the sounds of pleasured moans and skin slapping, the scent of sex in the air. Before long, Rafael's movements became frenzied, the sensations of acting out the shared fantasy making it hard to last. He held out long enough to feel Olivia's walls spasm around his cock in an intense climax. She cried out "Rafael!" as the pleasure overwhelmed her, causing Rafael to nearly blow his load. As her orgasm waned, he pulled out and took himself in hand. Two quick yet long tugs on his cock and he came, hard, shooting ropes of cum across Olivia's plump ass, one hand on the desk to hold himself steady.
He fell back into one of the chairs in front of his desk, chest heaving, and admired his work with a wide grin. She made quite the scene still spread across his desk, breathing heavily, his cum spread across her skin. It was incredibly erotic and had he been 25 years younger, he would have pounced on her for round two. As it was, he squirreled the memory away for future inspiration as his breathing slowly returned to normal.
Once sufficiently recovered, Olivia slipped off the desk and into Rafael's lap, neither of them caring about the sticky mess. "That… that was mind blowing, Raf. By far exceeded my imagination, thank you for making one of my fantasies such an overwhelmingly pleasant and erotic reality." She kissed him deeply, fingers cording through his sweaty hair.
"Anything for you, mi amor. I'm sorry it wasn't in your office like you imagined. Here just seemed more secure with less likelihood of interruption." Rafael peppered her face with soft kisses. "I love you and I look forward to exploring more fantasies with you for the rest of our lives."
Olivia smiled at him, her deep brown eyes bright with affection. "Are you…" she tapered off as he nodded.
"Will you marry me, Olivia Margaret Benson?" His heart was in his throat, hope filling his expressive eyes, as he gazed at her. "I don't have the ring with me, but I refuse to wait another minute to ask you. I know exactly what I want and that is a life with you and Noah."
Her smile spread impossibly wider as tears sprung to her eyes. "Yes… yes, of course, I will marry you, you wonderful man."
Rafael kissed her without a word, his own eyes leaking tears of happiness that mixed with hers. After a few minutes of languorous kissing, Olivia leaned back, a slender hand still caressing his cheek.
"I can't believe you proposed while we're sitting here naked in your office and we don't even live together," she laughed.
"Well, this is my favorite view," he replied, leering at her teasingly. "And we can rectify the living situation right now. Move in with me."
"Ok," Olivia replied. "We'll start packing tomorrow. Noah is going to be so happy!"
They took their time making themselves presentable, stopping for kisses and touches here and there, before heading home to Olivia's place to spend quality time with Noah.
Six months later, Nevada received a wedding invitation and smirked, cold green eyes taking in the details of the pending nuptials. He didn't have many regrets despite the kind of life he lived, but one of the few he did have was not being the right kind of man for Olivia Benson. She deserved someone like his brother and his darkened soul reluctantly wished them happiness.
FIN
