Chapter 7: Earth, San Francisco, Torres-Paris Family Residence, 2400

Tom Paris walked through his front door with fatigue. After spending four hours in shuttle simulations with the Nova Squadron cadets, he'd spent the other four hours of his day tweaking the Voyager holoprogram's specifications on encounters with the Kazon. He was mentally exhausted, but he also felt the need to burn off some excess energy after having been cooped up in one holodeck or another all day.

"I never thought I'd say this," he said to his daughter in lieu of a more customary greeting, "but I'm sick of being on the holodeck."

L'Naan didn't glance up from the padd she was reading, so Tom dropped onto the couch beside her with a slight groan and took a good look at her. While he was grateful that Q Junior's disappearance had nullified the debate on whether or not she should head to university the fall, he could tell she was more upset about it than she let on.

"What are you reading, squirt?" His voice was soft, trying to show her his concern.

"Data's biography," she said without lifting her eyes.

That's a good sign. Maybe she's getting excited about school again.

"Haven't you read that already?" She nodded. "Don't you have all the specifications memorized by now?"

L'Naan marked her place in the text and looked up at her father. "It's not just a technical manual, Dad," she said with a little impatience. "It's about Data's dream of becoming human, about his hopes and fears – about how little actually separates man from machine."

Properly chastised, Tom fell silent for a moment. "Why do you want to build androids, L'Naan?" he asked seriously. It occurred to him that he'd supported her goal to the best of his ability – enrolling her in advanced computer courses, sending her to special engineering summer camps, bringing home faulty equipment for her to tinker with – but he'd never actually had a conversation with her about why she was interested in artificial intelligence. Not for the first time, he felt disappointed in himself as a parent.

"How can I explain it?" she began. "It's like figuring out what makes us human. What being alive means. It's not about engineering at all, really – although that part's pretty cool, too – it's about the meaning of life." She took up her padd again, signaling she was finished talking to him. "You wouldn't understand."

"Don't discount me so easily," he said as he rose from the sofa. He paused in the doorway to the kitchen. "I hope we can have a talk about it before you head to Galor IV. I'd like you to help me understand."

L'Naan's eyes drifted back up to her father. "You mean it, Dad?"

Tom nodded sincerely. "I do."

He returned a moment later with a gin and tonic in hand. "Rough day," he explained when she raised an eyebrow at the glass. "Harry and I decided that we're going to revive the annual camping trip tradition, even though you kids are all grown up. Do you have any interest in coming with us?"

"No," she replied automatically.

"Don't you at least want to know where we're going this year?"

L'Naan shook her head, eyes still on the padd. "I can't face everyone, Dad. There'll be too many questions."

Tom took a slow sip of his drink as he watched her.


"Come on, Chakotay, out with it," B'Elanna prodded. "I've confided in you my entire life, and you never return the favor."

Chakotay may have been smiling, but he wasn't at all persuaded. "If you think I'm going to let two stubborn women tell me what to do, you're wrong."

"Try living with three," Tom called from the kitchen. "All of them Klingon!"

"Stop eavesdropping and finish making dinner!" B'Elanna called back. She leaned a little toward Chakotay and said in a conspiratorial whisper, "Come on, I won't tell him."

"You always tell him," he retorted smugly. "Let's change the subject. The word in the rumor mill is that there's an annual camping trip in the works."

B'Elanna took a moment to take a drink of her coffee and then set the mug on the coffee table. "There is," she acknowledged.

"I wouldn't dream of telling you how to live your life or manage your friends," Chakotay began.

"But you want to know why you and Janeway have never been invited," she finished. "Look, Chakotay, these camping trips have always been Tom's thing. They were really just an excuse to get the kids together. I guess he didn't think it would be very much fun for the two of you."

"And I'm sure no one thought it would be fun to stand at attention around the campfire," he guessed. He could tell from the slight hesitation on her face that he was right. "I know Kathryn will always be 'the admiral' to you and Tom and Harry, but she thinks of herself as your friend."

B'Elanna was caught slightly off-guard. "I think of her as my friend, too."

"No," he corrected, "you think of me as your friend, and she's part of the package."

B'Elanna opened her mouth to protest but couldn't find a suitable retort. Chakotay was more than a friend to her; he had been her captain, her savior, her crush, her family. While serving under then Captain Janeway, B'Elanna had developed an appreciation and respect for the woman, even if their relationship was occasionally contentious. They would always be connected because of their experiences on Voyager, but they weren't likely to start spending time alone together without Chakotay and Tom.

Tom's relationship with Janeway was different. He felt he owed his life to her in some ways, and he respected and admired her. They were compatible in ways that B'Elanna and the admiral weren't, and they were able to enjoy each other's company. But Tom was still in Starfleet, and that put a limit on how intimate his relationship with the admiral could be. The same was true for Harry.

"It would mean a lot to me if you invited us to come with you this year," Chakotay said. "Since it'll just be adults anyway…"

B'Elanna nodded. She owed him that courtesy, she knew. "You're right. I'm sorry we never invited you before." Chakotay nodded back at her, indicating that they were back on solid ground, and B'Elanna took the opportunity to needle him again. "I'll invite you camping as soon as you tell me whatever it is that's bothering you."

She could see a smile spread on his lips as he took a sip of herbal tea. "All right," he said, putting his cup down on the table. "I think Kathryn wants to get married."

B'Elanna nearly choked. "Really?" she managed to ask. "Do you want to?"

"Of course."

"So then what's the problem?"

"Her. She's got it in her head that I don't want to. If I push the issue now, she'll think I'm only agreeing to it to please her. She makes up her mind about things sometimes and can't be reasoned with."

In a flash Tom was sitting on the coffee table facing them. "That sounds like someone I know," he said intensely. "What you have to do is decide if you want to wait for her to come around or if you want to beg."

Chakotay frowned at B'Elanna, who merely shrugged at Tom's unwelcome presence – and keen hearing.

"Chakotay," Tom continued with intensity, "think about all the times you tried to persuade her to make a decision. How did you convince her?"

"Tom," B'Elanna warned, "he didn't ask for your help."

"I don't convince her," Chakotay said honestly. "I express my opinion – I tell a story – and she listens and says she respects what I have to say, and then she does whatever the hell she wants."

Tom gave a laugh. "So I guess you've got a worse situation than I do."

"I guess. Women with Irish tempers can be just about as bad as Klingons."

B'Elanna watched them banter about whose woman was more intractable for a moment, her face clouded over. "Very funny, both of you," she interrupted. As they turned to look at her, she rolled her eyes. "Chakotay, instead of all this scheming, why don't you just talk to her honestly?"


Indiana, Bloomington, Janeway Residence

"Not every healthy, happy relationship needs to culminate in marriage," Kathryn pointed out.

Chakotay licked his lips, rather enjoying the ride. He was about two parsecs away from convincing her, he knew. Given that he'd already gotten her to come half way across the galaxy (both literally and in terms of this discussion), he figured he was doing well. "Of course," he agreed seriously.

"If it isn't broken, don't fix it."

"Of course."

"We're fine the way we are. What if marriage changes all that?" She looked at him as though she expected a response, so he nodded in agreement. "I don't know, Chakotay. This is a big decision."

"It's really not. And, anyway, you're the one who brought it up in the first place."

"Because I thought you wanted it."

"You've been living with me for fifteen years. You know all my habits. You know all my idiosyncrasies. How do you not know how I feel about this?"

She couldn't answer. "How can I prove to you how important you are to me?" she asked quietly.

"You don't have to."

"Someday you'll regret the direction your life didn't take."

Chakotay shook his head. "For such an intelligent woman, you can be surprisingly dense sometimes. I'm not a victim of circumstance."

Kathryn frowned and put her hands on her hips. "I love you, you know."

"I do know. And I love you, too."

"You were wrong before. Neelix would have been the best man. Tuvok would have recited Vulcan love poems."

At that Chakotay laughed. "How exactly does a Vulcan love poem go?"

Kathryn looked at him with a mischievous smile. "'She walks in logic, like the arid night,'" she began.

"'How do I love thee? It would be logical to enumerate the ways'?" he suggested.

"We shouldn't make jokes at Tuvok's expense," Kathryn said as they both tried to suppress their laughter.

"You should marry me," he said deliberately.

Her face froze mid-laugh. "What?" She turned to look at him and saw that he was serious.

"You heard me," Chakotay said resolutely.

"Was that a proposal?"

"A suggestion."

"But I thought…"

"You thought wrong." His dimples appeared as he couldn't help but smile. A scientist and an admiral, but sometimes you can't see what's as plain as day.

"Why now?" Her eyes showed her bewilderment.

"Because you want to," he said simply. "And because if you don't agree to it, I'll tell you a story from my people that will persuade you anyway."

She attempted a few responses, but she didn't manage to get any of them out.

Chakotay grinned as she shook her head in futility. "Can't you at least muster one word for an answer?"

"Yes."


San Francisco, Starfleet Headquarters, Office of Admiral Kathryn Janeway

Andrew Kim sat anxiously in one of the chairs facing Admiral Janeway's desk. He'd been summoned for a meeting at 1315, though he wasn't sure why. He'd arrived on time and had been escorted in by Janeway's assistant, but he'd been waiting for nearly fifteen minutes. The admiral was usually quite prompt.

At last the door to the office opened, and Janeway blew in. Because he had known her on a personal level before he had known her professionally, Andrew was familiar with two sides of her personality. There was "Kathryn," who made lemonade and told funny stories on her back porch, and there was "the admiral" who wore a stern expression at all times. Even though they were at Starfleet Command, and even though she was wearing her uniform, she looked light – blissful, even – and Andrew was more than surprised.

"Andrew, Chakotay and I have decided to get married," she declared as she crossed the office to her desk.

"That's fantastic," Andrew said. "But why did you need to schedule a meeting with me to tell me that?"

Janeway sat down behind her desk, her elbows resting on its surface. "I don't want you and Miral to think we're trying to steal your spotlight."

Andrew smiled, and for a moment Janeway was convinced she was looking at Harry Kim. "Admiral, I couldn't be happier for you, and I'm sure Miral will feel the same way. Why don't we all celebrate together?"

Janeway lovingly patted his arm. "Chakotay and I aren't going to have a wedding."

"Really? That's a shame," Andrew said earnestly. "Maybe Miral and I can give you a toast at our reception?"

Janeway studied him. His eyes held the same kind, affectionate look that his father's did. She remembered him as an infant rather subdued in nature, then as a part of a two-headed trouble-making monster with Miral when they were toddlers, as an awkward adolescent unsure of how to deal with his rapid development, and as a young cadet embarking on his first steps to adulthood. In her eyes, he was still young, but with a quiet wisdom and one fresh pip on his uniform that indicated he was ready for bigger challenges. She felt a sense of pride thinking about how he had turned out. She also felt incredibly old.

"What's wrong me?" Andrew said aloud, rising from his chair. He came around the desk and embraced her, catching her off guard. "Congratulations," he said again. "Just because we're at Starfleet, I forget all manners."

Janeway raised an eyebrow as she returned his embrace. "Not many ensigns go around hugging admirals."

"Not many admirals are godmothers to ensigns," he replied.

At that Janeway smiled. She put a hand to his cheek affectionately. "Now, Ensign, tell me about your new assignment. I hear your commanding officer is pretty tough."


Eastern Mojave Desert

B'Elanna's eyes caught Chakotay's across the campfire as Kathryn Janeway doubled over in laughter. Her hair fell out of its tidy arrangement as she struggled to catch her breath.

When at last she sat back up, Chakotay pried her fingers off the canteen she was holding. "Okay, I think that's enough of Libby's special campfire punch for you." He sniffed the container and was rewarded with a noxious odor. "What's in here anyway?"

Libby grinned as she took a swig of her own canteen. "You don't want to know," she told him merrily. She offered the punch to Harry, who signaled his refusal as he rubbed her back affectionately. "Suffice it to say, camping without the kids is turning out to be a lot more fun than I anticipated."

That set Janeway to laughing again, and Tom and Harry turned to look at each other, raising their eyebrows.

"Admiral," Tom said, leaning toward her with obvious amusement, "you're drunk."

"Yes, Tom," she readily agreed, patting his arm, "I'm drunk."

Even B'Elanna couldn't help but laugh. She couldn't remember seeing Janeway so carefree before, so comfortable and happy among their ranks, and it made her glad Chakotay had been forthright about wanting to join them.

"Harry," Janeway declared, wiping a tear from her eye, "I had no idea you were such a good storyteller."

Harry looked triumphantly at his friends. "Finally someone who appreciates my fireside stories." He slid a marshmallow onto a sharpened stick and held it over the fire. "If you think that's funny, Admiral, wait until I tell you about the time when we were boating on Lake Victoria and B'Elanna fell into the water and –"

"Watch it, Harry," B'Elanna warned severely.

"Oh, relax, B'Elanna," Janeway said, still laughing. She picked up the canteen and thrust it in her direction. "Just drink some of this, and you'll think it's the funniest story you've ever heard."


San Francisco, Kim Family Residence

"Don't cut it like that," L'Naan snapped. "What are you doing? Square pieces?! Who eats pizza in square pieces?"

"Then you cut it," Andrew snapped back, handing her the knife. "I suppose you want triangular pieces?"

"Everyone eats pizza in triangular pieces. It's easier to hold that way."

Andrew walked over to the replicator and ordered a beer. "You're making me feel the need to drink, L'Naan," he called to her as he retrieved the frosty glass.

"It was your idea to hang out together tonight," she reminded him as she artfully cut the pizza the way her father had taught her. "There," she said with satisfaction. "Are we eating in the living room?"

Andrew nodded. "I have a new holovid we can watch. You want a beer?"

"Yes, please. I'll take the pizza. You bring the napkins." She carried the platter into the living room and settled on the floor with her legs tucked under the coffee table.

Andrew joined her a moment later with the accoutrements and knelt down beside her. He smiled. "Bon appétit."

"Stop acting weird, Andrew."

He held up a slice of the pizza, folding it just slightly in the middle so it would fit into his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

L'Naan took a swig of beer. "You only invited me here because our parents are camping right now, and you're completely avoiding any discussion of the Charlie vs. Galor IV debate. I know you're thinking about it."

"Actually, it was the furthest thing from my mind," he told her sincerely, handing her a napkin and motioning for her to wipe the corner of her mouth. "I was thinking that it's kind of fun to spend time with you, and I was wondering why we never did it before."

"Because my sister was always around, and she gets jealous if I even mention your name."

"Oh, Miral," Andrew teased, "I forgot about her."

"Ha ha." L'Naan reached in front of him for the pepper and sprinkled it onto her piece of pizza. Then she raised the slice to her mouth. The cheese stretched for several centimeters between her teeth and the rest of the slice, and she growled in frustration until Andrew pried it apart with his fingers. "Thanks," she said with her mouth full.

Andrew nodded. L'Naan was definitely in a grumpy mood, and she had been all summer. Luckily he had plenty of experience at dealing with the Paris temper and wasn't put off by it. He meant what he had said. With their parents out camping in the Mojave, it was nice to spend time together before she departed for school.

"Are you getting excited about going?" he asked.

L'Naan took another swig of beer. "A little," she admitted. "I wish Lenaris and I could make up before I go, though. Do you know she hasn't talked to me in over a month? She doesn't even know I changed my mind about going to the Daystrom Institute."

"She still thinks you're ditching everything that matters to you because you like some guy?" L'Naan nodded. "Was that the reason you had decided to go with Q?"

"Kahless, Andrew, how can you even ask me that? That's like me asking if you wanted to join Starfleet because Miral was!"

"Fair enough," he said reluctantly, "but, you know, it was a plus."


Eastern Mojave Desert

"I know we agreed to leave Starfleet back in San Francisco," Kathryn began as Tom and Harry groaned audibly, "but, Harry, it's really time for you to think about your next career move. There are going to be a few captains getting bumped to admiral in the next few months."

"Let's not even talk about it. I haven't been in charge of a ship in a long time."

"True," Kathryn said soberly, "but there are ships whose missions are to do exactly what you're doing at Command. And you've already passed the bridge officer's test."

"Admiral," Harry said politely with a smile, "I'm not sure that's the career move I want to make."

Kathryn nodded. "I'm just trying to look out for you."

"Why Harry?" Tom pouted. "What about me?"

Harry grinned. "For the record, I think you would make a great captain."

"Thanks, Har," Tom said, aiming a spear at him. Harry pulled the toasted marshmallow off it and popped it into his mouth. "You could be my first officer any day."

"You two sicken me sometimes," Libby said, shaking her head before taking another drink. "I mean, really, you're just so in love with each other." She looked admonishingly at Kathryn. "We said no Starfleet."

"You're right, Libby," Kathryn agreed. "I'm sorry."

"How's L'Naan?" Chakotay asked B'Elanna in a soft voice. "We really missed her at the excavation. She would have been a great asset to the team."

B'Elanna sighed slightly, shaking her head. "She's planning to go to the Daystrom Institute, but she has completely isolated herself from everyone around her. I've never seen her like this." She shivered. "We said no kids."

"She's right," Harry added. "No talking about the kids."


San Francisco, Kim Family Residence

Having devoured the pizza and washed it down with two beers each, L'Naan and Andrew leaned against the couch, watching a holovid in silence. Neither was very interested in it, but they were stuffed and tired, and it was easier to keep watching than to think of anything else to do.

When Andrew gave a huge yawn, L'Naan turned her attention back to him. "I guess I should get going," she said, beginning to stand up. She pulled herself to her feet, and her knees buckled slightly. "My legs are asleep," she declared, dropping onto the couch.

Andrew watched her kick her feet back to life. "You're welcome to stay here tonight, you know."

"It'll take me five minutes to get home on the transport," she said dismissively. "Anyway, why are you being so nice to me? Dinner and a holovid, and now you're offering to let me sleep over?" She frowned. "I don't need your pity, Andrew."

"And you won't get it," he said, raising himself onto the sofa next to her. "I promised your sister I would look out for you, and I'm a man of my word."

L'Naan rolled her eyes. "When are you two going to realize that I'm not a kid anymore? I don't need anyone looking out for me."

"If you say so," he said, leaning back against the sofa cushions. "What do you think our parents are doing right now?"

"Probably talking about us."

"I hope my dad doesn't tell Admiral Janeway how I accidentally deleted yesterday's sensor logs." He felt the judgment inherent in L'Naan's eyes and added quickly, "We had a back-up." He yawned again.

"Okay, Drew, I can take a hint," L'Naan said, rising once more.

"Hey, kid," he called seriously as she made her way to the door. "Stay for the night."

L'Naan turned around to look at him. "Why?"

"Because you've spent the last month alone. The least you can do is spend one night with a friend." He paused. "I'm worried about you."

L'Naan's hands balled into fists at her side, but she felt a lump rising in her throat. She nodded. "Can we watch a different vid, though? That one was really boring," she said, moving back toward the sofa.

Andrew could hear the emotion in her voice, and he nodded slowly, stretching his arms around her. "Of course, little sis," he said, stealing Miral's nickname for her as he pulled her close, "anything you want."