Chapter 74
"Take care, guys," Hazeltail meowed to Turtleclaw, giving the tortoiseshell warrior a friendly lick on the ear. Hazeltail dipped her head towards Cloud before turning to Smoky and Floss. "I'll come and see you later. I'll bring Berrynose and Mousewhisker too." Hazeltail twined her tail with Smoky and gave Floss a tiny nod. Jaystar followed Hazeltail and Bearpaw out of the barn, still in shock of what she had heard. Why didn't Brackenfur and Sorreltail tell her? Or even one of her supposed "siblings?" Even Leafpool and Squirrelflight, Jaystar's two mentors, could have told her instead of lying to her! Jaystar wondered if she would've ever found out if she hadn't gone to the barn.
"Jay- I mean Jaystar!" The golden brown she-cat groaned as she heard Floss' voice and turned around to face her mother. Floss raced towards the departing ThunderClan cats, her sides heaving. Jaystar's eyes glared at Floss as she realized she had nothing in common with the plump kittypet. Jaystar was courageous warrior with friends who shared the same traits as her while Floss was a cat who no one ever could rely on, but selfishly relied on Smoky's love. Floss shrunk underneath Jaystar's hostile glare and the golden brown she-cat let her expression relax. Floss had at least tried to be her mother when she was a tiny kit. "I just wanted to say goodbye to you. I don't know if you will ever come and see us again, but..."
"I hope to see you again, Floss, and thank you. I'm sure it was hard to lose your kit even if it was for the better." Jaystar meowed, thinking of Rabbitclaw. Jaystar knew the feeling that Floss had felt giving up her kit. When Rabbitclaw had gone to live with Blackstar in ShadowClan, Jaystar had been sad until she realized Rabbitclaw could never have been satisfied living his life as a ThunderClan warrior. Instead Rabbitclaw was meant to fight for ShadowClan and become the father of Dawnclaw's kits. Jaystar padded forward and gave Floss a gentle lick on the cheek, mewing in a kind voice, "Goodbye Floss. Tell Smoky... tell Smoky goodbye as well."
"I will. Take care, Jaystar, you would've never been satisfied with a house cat's life. You are a Clan warrior through and through," Jaystar blinked, surprised at Floss' words. The way Floss spoke sounded so wise... almost like a Clan cat instead of a kittypet. Jaystar wondered how Floss would've fared as life as a Clan warrior. What type of cat would Jaystar have been then? One who would have known who her parents were that's for sure. Jaystar dipped her head to Floss and then flicked her tail to her clanmates, gesturing to them it was time for them to return home. Jaystar wasn't going home just yet; she wanted to talk to StarClan before she returned to ThunderClan.
Hazeltail seemed to realize this because the gray-and-white warrior asked, "You aren't coming home with us are you, Jaystar?" The golden brown she-cat shook her head and Hazeltail meowed, "I'll take Bearpaw home." Jaystar glanced at Bearpaw, who had remained silent through everything. Bearpaw blinked her green eyes and Jaystar realized- for the first time- that her apprentice was half-kittypet. Jaystar suddenly saw Bearpaw through different eyes, realizing how being even part kittypet changed the way you looked at everything. "I'll also tell Rosestripe and some of the senior warriors that you know and where you have gone. See you soon, Jaystar."
"May StarClan guide you, Hazeltail, Bearpaw," Jaystar mewed to her clanmates and watched them begin the journey back to ThunderClan territory. Jaystar turned to the opposite direction- more towards WindClan territory- and raced off to the Moonpool. It was moonhigh by the time Jaystar reached the Moonpool. Jaystar padded down the slope that she had only journeyed down once before and was in the small cavern. Padding up to the pool of water, Jaystar dipped her head and gave it a small lick. At once, Jaystar felt herself falling asleep. When she opened her eyes, Jaystar recognized the island and three warriors who stood in front of her: Firestar, Brackenfur, Sorreltail, and Honeyfern.
"We know why you have come," Brackenfur meowed, "You have a right to be here and ask your questions, but I ask you to see things from our perspectives as well as Firestar's and your kittypet parents'. Sometimes to solve a problem there is no right answer." Jaystar glared at Brackenfur, remembering how she had idealized him as a kit and a young apprentice. Even when she was a warrior, Jaystar remembered how she wanted to become a great warrior like Brackenfur. Now that Jaystar knew that Brackenfur wasn't her birth father, everything seemed to change. Jaystar had admired Brackenfur because he was a great warrior who shared her blood. Now Jaystar realized she only looked up to him because he was a great warrior with no ties to her. She could've admired Sandstorm and Thornclaw; two other warriors she didn't share blood with who were great cats.
"So what? When there is no clear answer to a problem, lying becomes the right action? I understand why you didn't tell me when I was a kit or an apprentice, but why not when I was a warrior? Or even deputy? I saw you all when I received my nine lives and not once, not once did you mention that I wasn't Clanborn! Why didn't Firestar say anything at least?! He must've felt some sort of bond with me! We are the only two kittypet leaders who ever lived in the Clans!" Jaystar paused, wondering if that was why Firestar chose her as ThunderClan's next leader. Did he want another non-Clan leader to live by the lake? "If you say I don't understand, then you are wrong. I told my kits when they were apprentices that they were half-Clan! They coped with it well! I'm as sure as the sun is going to rise tomorrow that I would've been able to cope!"
"I'm sure you would've, but were we willing to take the risk that you wouldn't grow cold to us as soon as you found out the truth?! I'm sure you know about the prophecy that surrounds you. 'The strongest of two will save the Clan.' Even though you weren't Clanborn, you matched the prophecy. You were a pair of two and proved to be the strongest since your brother died. Were we willing to risk the prophecy by telling you the truth and don't tell us nothing would've changed. How do we know if you would've felt loyal to ThunderClan anymore? How do were know you wouldn't choose your birth parents over the Clan that had raised you?" Jaystar glared at Sorreltail as she spoke. Jaystar's anger was only because she understood where Sorreltail was coming from. Jaystar didn't want to understand the lying members of StarClan.
"I almost told you so many times, Jaystar, but it was loyalty to my Clan that kept me from telling you. Firestar ordered your true identity to be kept a secret. After a couple moons, I forgot that you were of kittypet blood. You had become a sister to me and as you grew up, I felt as proud as if you were apart of my own blood. Please try and understand, Jaystar," The ThunderClan leader turned away from Honeyfern, having trouble meeting the golden brown she-cat's eye. Honeyfern was one of the hardest to face because they looked smilier to another. Jaystar realized that she was probably given to Sorreltail because of Honeyfern. They could've passed for littermates.
"Jaystar, please listen to us," Jaystar realized that she didn't want to hear Firestar speak. To her, it seemed like Firestar was the most guilty. If Firestar hadn't ordered that everyone remained silent then Jaystar would've found out the truth a lot sooner. Jaystar turned away from her former clanmates and raced away from them, desperate to wake up. As Jaystar ran, she heard Firestar call out, "Jaystar, come back! You are going into dangerous-" Firestar's voice broke off and Jaystar stopped running, realizing that she had ran into a different part of StarClan territory. At least she assumed it was StarClan territory. Jaystar didn't know that she was in the place of no stars... where all the evil cats of the past roamed.
