"She started it! I was asking an entirely rational question, and she made it as if I was doing something wrong."

"Hold on, let me stop you there. What did you ask Hermione exactly?"

It was lunch, and while she knew most would be at the Great Hall, she doubted that he would be there along with the others. When she reached the Slytherin common room by the dungeons, she had walked in to find him in a state of mess. With the badge that officially appointed him as a Head Boy somewhat skewed on his left breast pocket, his shirt was in a state of mess. Splashes of brown (no doubt from the alcohol he held in his hand) stained his torso. His left sleeve was folded up to his elbow, while the right one remained by the wrist, making his appearance disordered to anyone's eyes. Even more so with the ugly stubble that was growing by his jaw.

"What are you doing?" she had asked. Audrey pressed her fists by her sides, all the while glaring at the blond in front of her.

"Drinking. What does it look like I'm doing?"

Audrey raised her eyebrows. "You do realise Firewhisky is illegal here, right?"

"So is spandex, but that never stopped people from wearing it."

"I don't remember that being in the dress code."

"That's because it isn't."

Audrey scowled. "You're drunk."

"Hammered, smashed, pissed, drunk; you name it, it's there."

Audrey snorted sarcastically. "So, is this how you're going to move on? Is this how you're going to fix this mess? Drinking 'till you're pissed out of your mind?"

"It numbs the pain." She couldn't stop the slight rush of tears that burned her eyes when she heard how miserable he was.

"It numbs the-? Dude, you have to be kidding me! Are you even listening to yourself? You sound pathetic!"

"Pathetic, huh? It's better than having to go through heartbreak." Draco's eyebrows knitted together in self-repulsion and shook his head. "Oh my god, you're right. I sound so cheesy I can almost smell it."

Audrey was only half-listening to him, opting to take a look at the state of her cousin.

Audrey whistled a low tone. "You cleaned up good."

"I don't appreciate irony at this point."

"What's the point of saying anything if you're just gonna be more offended?"

"If that's the case, maybe you should just shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone."

Audrey didn't even blink when she heard him swore at her. "Look, I think I can help-"

Draco's snapped his gaze to her with a glare full of contempt, and said, "Well, you can't. There's nothing you can do to change her mind."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

He had stood up and paced around, which didn't go far as he swayed at every turn. He stopped and sat down on a pointy edged settee. He grimaced in embarrassment, his face flushing to beet red. Draco Malfoy was never one to show weakness (or any other emotions really), but his closest friends and family knew, behind closed doors, he was a melodramatic actor at his finest. It highly amused Audrey for the fact that no matter how haughty and arrogant he appeared to be in public, he was just as annoying as any other teenaged boys.

He hesitated. "I asked Hermione about..." He whispered the rest of the sentence.

"What? All I could hear is-" Audrey proceeded to make swishing sounds, probably her attempt on imitating the wind on a stormy night. It was a total exaggeration in his opinion.

"I asked her..." Still, he mumbled the rest of the sentence as if he just found out what was it that he said had made things wrong.

"Dude, I wanna help, I do," Audrey took a breath, "but I don't think I can do that if you keep on talking like you're a vacuum cleaner."

He put on a confused pout, and if the situation wasn't pressing, she might have the time to think it was cute. "What the hell is a vacuum cleaner?"

"Right, forgot that you're a wizard. It's okay, I'll tell you later. I was exaggerating-" That was an understatement, "Now-"

"Humour me," he interrupted her.

"What?"

"Humour me. Tell me what a vacuum cleaner is."

"What? No! I-"

"Is it a sex toy?"

A picture of Draco with a vacuum cleaner crosses her mind. Oh God, she will never live that down.

"Fuck no! Vacuum cleaners are cleaning appliances! It's in the freaking name!"

"So you don't use it for sex?"

"No! God no! What makes you think that vacuum cleaners are for sex?"

"Well, you told me about dildos last week and-"

Audrey looked at him incredulously. "That doesn't mean vacuum cleaners are sex toys! Not all muggle things are sex toys, you know!"

"I'm sorry. It just got me thinking-"

"You're disgusting."

Draco wrinkled his nose. "You were the one who told me about them."

"Only because you asked."

"Touché."

Audrey shook her head in bewilderment. "You are a sick pervert."

After a moment of processing what she said, he shrugged. "I've been told worse."

Audrey snorted in annoyance. "You're not gonna tell me what happened, are you?"

"Nope."

Audrey closed her eyes, and counted to ten, in hopes that maybe her temper wouldn't lash out and break any of his bones. Instead, she moved from her position at the fireplace and perched herself on the armrest of the chair by the tenacious blond. Besides, it wasn't as if she wanted to poison him or anything; he wouldn't be any use for her if he were dead.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the blue phial. She hoped this would work.

"Here." She placed the flask into his hand. "Drink this."

He twirled it about in his hand, looking at it with suspicion. "What's this?"

"Something to sober you up; it might even help you with your little problem." It wasn't entirely a lie.

Without any more urging from her, or maybe he was too drunk to question her further; he uncorked the phial and tossed the contents into the back of his throat. He spluttered and coughed at the extremely bitter taste; a dark grimace stuck on his face.

"What the hell is this?"

She didn't answer but kept on staring at him, as if she was expecting something. Draco looked back into her eyes and gasped in confusion when he saw the anticipation in them.

"What did you do?"

She didn't get the chance to reply before he threw himself down onto the floor, screaming in pain and shock. Audrey braced herself against the armrest to prevent herself from reaching out. She had read the side effects in the book, and this would only be momentary. But what happened next, it was completely out of her comprehension.

His limbs slowly began to retract back into his body; as if he was shrinking. Hair started to grow thicker around his figure. His body arched forward; digging his shortening nails into the floor. His clothes were torn off by the sizeable thing that was growing by his backside; a flurry of black and white blurred her line of view. His sharp nose turned darker and shorter; his eyes became smaller and murkier, and his stubble turned long and bushy.

With a squeak of surprise, his transformation was complete.

He crawled from under the torn clothes and sniffed the air. With his little black nose in the air, twitching from left to right, she couldn't help but notice how adorable her cousin was in this state.

Audrey burst out laughing. "I always knew you're a stinky little fella!"

Even with his tiny eyes, she could see that he was glaring at her with contempt. He snarled, showing off his surprisingly sharp teeth, and launched towards her with his now-four legs.

"Immobolus!" She was faster, though. He stood frozen with his small furry body hunched over; his teeth still bared.

She felt for the little note on her robe pocket and pulled it out. Checking to see everything was in order, she decided to add a postscript after taking a glance at her furry little cousin. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an abandoned quill and ink pot on one of the study desks. Quickly, she went and snatched the quill, scribble down a few words, and placed it back into the inkpot.

She took one more glance at her cousin, whose immobilisation wouldn't last long now. His open mouth let out a small trail of saliva trickling down his chin.

"I'm sorry, but you brought this on yourself. Don't worry, though; it will be all right."

And with those words, she took off towards the exit, leaving him alone with a pool of saliva forming by his feet. She knew that the spell would wear off soon, and for the sake of her skin; she should get out of there while she still could. She nodded at Pansy and her lackeys as she walked passed them, smiling when she was out of Audrey's sight; thinking about the endless possibilities on how she would react to see a rogue animal on the loose.

She smirked. Better get to the Great Hall before that happened then.

~.~

Everyone was eating lunch when the doors burst open.

Ronald Weasley, a third of the Golden Trio, one of the people that had helped Harry Potter to defeat the Bastard-That-Finally-Went-Down, had never looked more flustered than he was in the Battle right now. His arms flailed about, cold sweat dripping down from his forehead, and his face etched with urgency. Almost everyone stared at him with a mixture of confusion and worry, while the others opt to ignore him entirely.

Everyone fell silent when he screamed. "Hermione! Hermione!"

He started running again, but his feet accidentally stepped on his too-shabby robes. He landed on the Ravenclaw table with a grunt, pitchers of gravy and pumpkin juice spilt all over its bench and his hair. The nearest students squeal or shout in protest, hopping away from the drenched redhead.

The silence didn't last long. Everyone guffawed and pointed at the red-head, his face flushing darker than his hair, either from running too much or out of embarrassment.

"It's okay, Ron. I got it," Luna said, with her airy voice, brandishing her wand from the back of her ear. She flicked her wrist, and in an instant, the mess was gone.

He stood up and brushed himself off. He smiled at Luna gratefully and (ignoring the others) headed towards the Head Girl, whose mouth was twitching with amusement. Even when she was used to his incessant idiocy, this might be the best moment yet.

"What do you want Ron?"

"Didn't you hear me? I have something for you!"

"You didn't tell me that."

"Well, I have something for you. You see-"

"So, you chose to humiliate yourself by screaming into the Hall like a banshee?"

"Point taken. But 'Mione-"

"And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"

"Sorry. But I have to-"

"You know, whatever it is that you're going to say won't make any sense anyway. It's not-"

"I have something for you!"

His sudden outburst took her aback. It had to be crucial for him to shout at her like that. "What is it?"

"Here." He thrust a piece of folded parchment to her line of view, shaking it slightly when she didn't make an attempt to take it from him.

"Where did you find this?" She asked.

"Somebody gave it to me. Said that it's important."

She pulled it out of his hand and tentatively unfolded the parchment. Her eyes grow bigger as she scanned the parchment; gasping when she reached the end.

It had only said:

Dear Hermione,

Draco Malfoy had met with an unfortunate accident. Only you can turn him back into his normal state. You have until midnight to fix this. Good luck.

P.S. You might need a spare change of clothes

She didn't recognise the handwriting at all, and it was obviously wasn't signed. As if on cue, she heard a shriek from the entrance of the hall. Pansy Parkinson, who had come back to repeat her year just like everyone else, screamed frantically with disgust. Her shrill voice was enough to make Hermione's ears bleed.

A few other Slytherins were following her lead towards the Great Hall; squawking and squealing in the same time.

"Skunk! Skunk! There's a skunk in the dungeons!"

And Pansy promptly fainted to the ground.

It caused a bigger uproar to the students, not out of fear but the exact opposite. Everybody started laughing again at her expense, temporarily averting their attention from Ron. A person who fainted just because of a skunk? A notion that was ridiculous even for Pansy herself, but she wouldn't have time to rebuff herself if she was unconscious, would she?

For Hermione though, it wasn't funny.

Not the slightest bit.

It was evident the note didn't come to her at a random time; this was planned.

Out of all the things that he could be, she thought.

After making sure Madame Pomfrey had secured Pansy to be taken to the hospital wing, she made her way towards the exit, pushing through students with urgency, leaving some to curse or whine at her haste. She didn't care; she needed to get to the dungeons as soon as possible.

She failed to see a couple smiling at each other across the Hall; their plan is working.

~.~

"Where's Hermione going?" Harry looks up from his plate. Ron - who had sat down to enjoy his well-deserved lunch after the embarrassing debacle just now - shrugged.

"Don't know. Hermione ran outside as soon as she read the note I gave her."

"What note?"

"Couldn't read it. It was charmed so her hands would only open it. I wish I could, though; she turned pale when she finished reading that thing."

"She did?"

Harry only got a nod as a reply because Ron's mouth was too full. Well, at least he was brushing up his mannerism on the dining table.

Harry made up his mind. He pushed himself off the bench he was sitting on and crossed over it. He stood up and walked ahead, but not without tilting his head and said, "I'm going to check on her."

Ron nodded and resumed his route on being the world's most disgusting guzzler. Harry sauntered behind a few First Years, who were discussing the events prior, but not once had they mentioned Hermione. Maybe he was the only one who noticed her going out.

He made his way to the corridor that led to the moving staircases. He saw a flash of brown rounding around a corner, and there was no doubt that it was his best friend's bird's nest of a hair. He could vaguely hear footsteps trudging after him, but Harry didn't turn around to realise someone was following him until it was too late.

~.~

Hermione's wand was in her hands; her posture was ready for a fight. She was rarely in the dungeons (except heading for Potions Class, of course), and the place would always give her the shivers. It riled her to no end, for no matter how long she had known this place, she was still afraid of the dungeons and what might lie lurking about.

The war does that to you. Especially when the person started it in the first place happened to come from this very part of the castle.

She glanced left and right, making sure that she wasn't being followed. She didn't want to be hexing some random innocent student in her fright. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves; cursing her too self-righteous self and for not bringing a familiar with her.

Surely Crookshanks was a good company in these times, right?

Her train of thoughts was cut off when she heard something scurrying about in the shadows. Bloody dungeons were too dark, even if it was in the middle of the afternoon.

"Lumos," she whispered. The soft blue light illuminated the corridor she was in, but it wasn't enough to brighten the whole space (much to her dismay). Her shadow was the only thing she can see, but she had a feeling that that was beside the point.

Something was with her right now. Or rather someone.

She turned around, hoping to see something out of convenience. Like a statue or a painting, and thankfully; all she could see was the wall. The noises were getting louder, though; as if they were heading towards her. Despite her better judgement, she trailed after the sound – the more she moved, the louder they got.

She almost got a heart attack when she saw them. In the darkness, where her light didn't reach, a pair of red something gleamed. It was so faint that you could almost miss it, but with a squint of her eyes, she could see them clearly. They gazed at her with intent, not moving at all; and it was frightening the shit out of her.

So, she did something any rational witch would do if she were scared.

She sent off a hex.

It missed them by a couple of millimetres, and a yelp of fright was heard as they dashed away from her sight. She followed it, and with her wand in her quick hand, she pointed towards the direction she was heading. With the light igniting the way, she saw a flash of black and white rushing towards the nearest girls' bathroom.

Draco?

Her feet follow its path, intending to investigate, but she couldn't go any further as she was pushed back by an invisible force.

"Oomph!" She grunted as her behind lands on the floor. A squeal of amusement echoed the walls.

"You have been strained, oh what a mighty fall. What seems to be your pain; makes me guffaw!" Another shriek of laughter.

Peeves.

"What do you want?" She glared at the ill-behaved poltergeist.

"Nothing of convenience, which you can obtain. For I am bored, so I'm laughing at your pain!"

She growled in frustration. "Stop rhyming! You're not even good at it."

"Says the girl who's still on the ground."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Your face doesn't make any sense."

"At least mine isn't purple."

Peeves dramatically stroked his chin with his hand as if he had a long beard to tend. "Touché."

"What do you want?" She tried asking again.

Peeves pouted. "I'm bored. There's nothing much to do in the dungeons."

"Then why can't you just go somewhere else?"

Peeves put on a naughty smile. "Why pull pranks on students out of significance, when I have the Head Girl right here?"

Hermione pursed her lips. She needed to think of something quick if she was going to get to the bathroom, and time was already wasted as it was. If the note was any clue, and Pansy's annoying screeching was any warning, the thing she saw earlier was Draco Malfoy as a skunk, and she had exactly nine hours and forty-two minutes to change him back.

Things were worse even before Peeves had decided to show up.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea crept in her mind. "Do you want to know a secret?"

Peeves' pointy ears perked up. "What secret?"

"Have you ever wondered what's the Bloody Baron's fear is?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, everybody is afraid of something, but no one knows what his fear is. I do, though-"

"What? Tell me! Tell me his secret!"

"Do you want to know?"

"Yes." Peeves' eyes are bulging with anticipation.

Hermione dramatically sighed, as if she was being coerced. "Well… he is claustrophobic."

"He's- what?"

"He is claustrophobic."

Peeves' forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"It means that he's afraid of Santa Clause."

Peeves gasped in delight. "He's afraid of Santa Clause?"

"Mhmm."

Peeves smiled with absolute joy. "This is perfect! It's perfect for me because I could finally get back at him after all these years of being scared of him. It's perfect for revenge!"

"Yes, it is." She resisted the urge to laugh.

"I'm going to scare him so hard, that he's going to wet his robes!"

Even when she knew that it was impossible, she nodded in encouragement anyway. "You go and do that."

Peeves winked at Hermione and floated away from her; muttering about scary ghosts and irrational fears. Hermione let out a chuckle at how surprisingly gullible he was, especially if it was for false information about the ghost of Slytherin. She brushed herself off the ground and continued towards the bathroom.

As she entered the bathroom, a stench of something she couldn't name assaulted her, but it was sure as hell wasn't something pleasant either. She glanced at the toilets and was taken aback by how disgusting most of them were. Was that a used tampon?

"Draco?"

There was no answer, but then again, what can a skunk do when a human was calling it? Blow a rape-whistle?

The thought made her silently scoff at herself.

An answering squeak reverberated through the disgusting room. She stood corrected.

"Where are you?"

A whimper told her where he was. She trailed after the pitiful sound, making sure she didn't step on something that might make her burn her shoes later. The room was dark (except the parts that are brightened by her wand), a few of its cubicles looked as if a herd of hippogriffs had a stampede before when she was here, and the stench was getting stronger by the minute. She feared that if she kept it up, she wouldn't be able to find any purpose of maintaining a nose anymore.

But she knew that she couldn't stop now because Draco needed her.

"You know, maybe it's time for you to come out? I'm sorry I sent a hex on you, I promise I won't do it again."

The sounds of tiny pitter-patter by the stall next to her caught her attention. She tilted her head sideways, and when she saw the little four-legged creature creeping out towards her, she gasped.

While most are black and white, this skunk was the exact opposite. Black fur lined its middle, stretched from the tip of its nose until the end of its tail. It had a small, black snout with long white whiskers on each side. Its paws were small and stubby, but she was confident that behind those soft little things hid sharp claws that could make her bleed if it wants to. Its eyes are the best part because unlike most skunks, instead of tiny little black dots that might inflict fear on others; its eyes are dark grey. Its eyes looked wiser than any other animals she had come upon; even Crookshanks was an unworthy opponent.

It was officially the most beautiful skunk she had ever seen.

She tilted her wand to his direction and placed a charm on his body. He looked at her questioningly, and so she answered, "It's a charm I found while I was away. It'll help prevent your smell from fusing into the air. It's a very handy spell, especially when you were stuck with two teenaged boys in a tent with no indoor plumbing."

He bobbed his head up and down. Well, at least he could understand what she was saying.

She knelt in front of the skunk and laid out a hand. It was staring at the latter with a distrustful tilt of its head, but after a few moments of deliberation, it climbed slowly onto her fingers. Once the little fellow fitted itself comfortably on her hand, she stood up, placed a comforting hand on its back, and headed towards the exit.

~.~

"Okay, let's see what we can do here. Just stay still, and I'll get you something to eat. You must be starving."

Hermione set down Draco on her bed and disappeared through the door. He didn't like being a skunk. Everybody was scared of him, but not in a way he would have liked. He usually revelled in the fear he could inflict on others, but today he felt less than inclined. Nobody wanted to be near a skunk. And nobody was stupid enough to be turned into one.

Apparently, he might be the biggest idiot if that statement rang any truth.

Besides, he stank. A lot.

Hermione came back with a plate of roast beef sandwich and set it out in front of him. It smelled good, and forgetting the fact that he was brought up with etiquette; lounged hungrily for the snack. Being a skunk had its advantages too it seemed, as the apparently small sandwich for average sized humans was big enough for him to be full.

Hermione left him to enjoy his food; her thoughts are too occupied even to realise how similar he was to Ron when he's gobbling up the sandwich. She closed her eyes in trepidation. She was still reeling by their fight two weeks back, but even though she was adamant into ignoring him for the rest of his life, she knew that no matter how much Hermione tried, she will never live it down if she were to ever disappoint him just because of her pride.

His words were hurtful, but then again, if she thought back about what happened, she had no one but herself to blame.

~.~

(iii)

He had headed on his way towards her room after a long day of Quidditch practice, hoping that he could take a shower and cuddle with his girlfriend.

Indeed, Draco Malfoy was a cuddler, but he would deny it if anyone asked.

Once he entered the room, however, he could feel that there was something wrong in the air. Hermione sat down on the edge of her bed, while she stared at the floor; fiddling with her wand.

"What's wrong?" He had asked.

He wished he hadn't.

"Who's Astoria Greengrass?"

"What?"

"Astoria Greengrass, who is she?"

Draco blinked confusedly at her. "She's a Slytherin. About two years younger than us- Why are you asking me this?"

Hermione finally looked up, and he was surprised to see them so swollen as if she had been crying for days. "You don't know, do you?"

"No, I don't."

Hermione stood up, and that was when he realised that there was a piece of parchment in her hands. With a shaky hand, she gave it to him. "Your mother sent this."

Draco retrieved it from her, and with a worried glance at her; he began to read it. His face was a blurry mixture of emotions, from confusion to anger, and from anger to understanding. He looked up from the letter to lock his eyes with hers, but she twisted away from his gaze; missing the pleading look that rushed across his face.

"It's not true."

"Really? Then why didn't you tell me about this? Your so-called tradition into finding a bride and sold to be wed-"

"That's not what it is-"

"I can't see any other explanation, Draco. You're tied into a marriage contract, and there's no other way that I could perceive it."

"What are- No. I- I don't even know her!"

"Well, your mother must've known her very well if you were to get married to her."

"I can fix this-"

"How? Your mum doesn't even know I exist in your life!"

And there they went again. They had always fought about the secrecy of their relationship, with Hermione choosing to reveal it to others, and Draco opposing to it. He didn't realise that it was hurting Hermione until now. He didn't even realise how serious the situation was until he received the offending letter.

He moved his feet forward until he was right in front of her. He grasped her face as gentle as he could; his presence was soothing against her body. "Listen to me, I'll think of another way to-"

She shook her head from his hands and shouted, "There is no other way! You have to tell her about us!"

"You know we can't do that-"

"Why do we have to hide? Why can't we just go out in the open?"

"What?" He caught onto whatever it was she had said, but he wasn't prepared to answer it yet. He needed her to repeat the question, so he could avoid from responding for a short period.

Unfortunately for him, she knew what his attentions were. "You heard me. I'm not going to repeat the same questions again."

Draco looked away from her eyes, hoping that by doing so, he wouldn't crumble under her stare. It was hard to ignore her, though, especially when someone as scrutinising as Hermione was gaping at him. He could feel her gaze, and while it was usually a good thing that he had her constant attention, it was unnecessarily an advantage now.

"You know we can't do that-"

"Why not? Nobody is going to judge us. The war is over and-"

He was hasty with his reply, even though he knew she would counteract in a millisecond, he said it anyway. "Do you think it's enough? Do you think people are going to accept us-?"

"-don't need people to accept us. All we need is each other-"

"Yes, but-"

"-been hiding for months and look where it got us into!"

"-fix it if you would just listen to me-"

"You still haven't answered my question!"

He dragged a hand across his face in weariness. "Look, your friends already know about us; I don't see the point-"

"The point is I'm tired of hiding-"

"You're tired of everything, aren't you?"

Hermione pulled back her head in disbelief. "Didn't you hear me? I was-"

"Why do you want to tell anyone? They're just going to make us look bad-"

"Since when do you care about what others think?"

"I just don't want to be seen with you!"

The look on her face broke his heart. The fire she had in her eyes slowly diminished. Her eyes turned dull as sadness overtaken her, and he knew that he was sorely mistaken. He had pushed her over the edge, but Hermione didn't react in a way. She just stood there, staring at him with distrust, as if she was seeing him for the first time in her life.

"I don't mean that, Hermione-"

"What do you mean; you don't want to be seen with me?"

"You know that's not what I meant-"

"What do you expect me to think? You just said that you don't wish to be seen with me!"

He let out a frustrated growl and grabbed her shoulders. "Listen to me-!"

"Why should I? You haven't done the same thing for me!"

"Don't make me use my wand on you-"

"What are you going to do? Hex me into listening to you? I'm not scared of boneless little boys!"

"Listen here, you little mudblo-" He stopped, tightening his lips together with widening eyes. He realised what he had said would sound like in her point of view, and he tried to rectify himself. But even with his effort, he knew he had already committed a massive mistake. Her face managed to show a myriad number of emotions, shifting from anger, to hurt, to betrayal, to anger again in just a few seconds.

Pulling away from his hands, in a falsely calm matter, she said, "Get out."

He flinched slightly at the monotonous tone her voice had picked up. "What?"

"I said, get out!"

Hermione finally found the use of her wand and stunned him out of her room. By the time he could recover himself, she had already shut the door.

~.~