Chapter 12: Earth, San Francisco, Starfleet Headquarters, Office of Admiral Kathryn Janeway, 2400

She stood at the window overlooking the bay, hands clasped behind her back. A ship was moving slowly out to sea, and she was fantasizing what it would be like to be aboard when her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Ensign Wyatt poked her head inside. "Ma'am? There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?" Janeway asked, still gazing out the window.

"L'Naan Paris, ma'am."

Janeway turned toward the door with a smile. "By all means, send her in."

L'Naan took three small steps into the admiral's office, her hands clasped in front of her. "Good afternoon, Admiral."

"Hello, Miss Paris. What can I do for you?"

Without asking permission, L'Naan crossed the room and took a seat in front of the desk. Janeway bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. It was a perfectly human thing to do, but perfectly un-Starfleet. A break from the protocol that usually surrounded her in San Francisco. She followed and sat on the other side of the desk.

"Admiral," L'Naan began in a small, soft voice, "I was hoping you had some time to talk to me about the Q."

"You're trying to decide whether or not you should forfeit your powers."

"How did you know?"

"Oh, L'Naan," Janeway admonished, "who hasn't told me? Both of your parents, your sister, Andrew – they've all contacted me in the last forty-eight hours."

L'Naan shook her head. "I should have known." She sighed. "Every time Charlie appears, there's this collective groan in the room. I've noticed you don't respond to him the same way."

"That's true," Janeway admitted. "I might roll my eyes a little, but I suppose I'm fond of him."

"Everyone keeps giving me a litany of adjectives to describe the Q – nefarious, duplicitous, notorious. You don't see them that way?"

Janeway gave a crooked smile. "More like self-righteous and Machiavellian, but that comes with having greater power than others. Before the Prime Directive was established, I'm sure there were plenty of species who felt that way about the Federation." She raised an eyebrow and wagged a finger in L'Naan's direction. "I've gotten to know Charlie and his father. They're eager to please us in a way."

L'Naan nodded, accepting the admiral's judgment of Charlie. "I was hoping you could tell me more about what happened the first time you met Charlie. Could you go over that experience with me again?"

"I can do you one better." Janeway reached into a desk drawer and retrieved a padd, which she slid across the desk to L'Naan. "Ship's logs and my personal logs from all three Q encounters."

L'Naan caught the padd and activated it. Her eyes quickly skimmed the words before rising to meet the admiral's. "How can you give this to me? Isn't this a violation of some regulation?"

"It'll all be public once your father and the Doctor and Reg finish the Voyager holoprogram. Admiral Paris declassified the logs."

"Grandpa?" L'Naan asked with concern. "He doesn't know about this, does he?"

"About you and the Q? Not that I know of."

L'Naan tapped the data padd against her palm. "Thank you, Admiral."

Janeway held up a second padd. "I think this one will interest you as well. Not many people know about it. Commander Riker of the Enterprise under Captain Picard."

"I've heard of Riker," L'Naan said. "That must have been before Captain Klees took command."

"Years before. Q offered Riker the same thing Charlie's offering you now."

L'Naan's eyes widened. "What happened?"

Janeway handed her the padd. "Read it for yourself. It didn't work out." She detected a slight quivering of L'Naan's lower lip. "This upsets you?"

"I – I thought I was special."

"L'Naan," Janeway said tenderly, "you are special."

"To my family, I suppose. I guess not to the Q. So what happened to Riker?"

"He found the powers isolated him from the people he cared about, and he asked Q to take them away." Janeway watched L'Naan carefully for a moment. "There are a few things you have to remember when you're a Starfleet officer, L'Naan. You should always approach every situation skeptically – it makes you a better scientist and tactician."

"But?"

"But sometimes," Janeway continued, leaning forward slightly, "you just have to take things on faith. After that day you came attacking Charlie in my backyard, I told Chakotay there was a connection between the two of you. I don't believe Charlie would intentionally try to hurt you."

"So 'malicious' isn't one of the adjectives you'd give him?"

Janeway laughed. "In Charlie's case, no. He might not have even known that his father had made a similar offer to another human in the past. I'm sure to him you are special."

L'Naan considered this for a moment, skimming the padd. There's nothing here about the Q losing omnipotence. There was a critical piece of information that Janeway didn't have, she realized. In the admiral's mind this was all another Q maneuver, not a life-or-death scenario. "Well, I guess I have what I need." She rose out of the chair. "Thank you for seeing me."

"Wait a minute," Janeway called. L'Naan continued toward the door. "L'Naan Paris, stop. Sit down."

L'Naan hovered at the doorway for a moment. She turned around. "Admiral Janeway, with all due respect, I'm not Starfleet. I don't have to obey orders."

"I'm not ordering you," Janeway said. "I'm asking you, as one friend to another, to sit down and talk to me."

"All right," she conceded. She returned to her chair.

Janeway noticed that L'Naan was trying to avoid her gaze. "There's more to this than you're telling me."

"I don't want you to get into any trouble with Starfleet Command."

"I am Starfleet Command."

"I don't want to tell you anything that would violate Charlie's privacy and make you have to take action," L'Naan tried to explain. "But, yes, there's more to the story than I'm telling you."

"Does this have to do with Riker?"

L'Naan knew she had the upper hand, and she decided to do something she had never done before. She was going to lie to the admiral's face. For a good reason, she reminded herself. To protect Charlie.

"I know it's stupid of me, Admiral, but they told me I was the first person they offered omnipotence to. I'm just disappointed to learn that I'm the latest pawn in their game of 'let's have fun with humanity.'" She traced the arm of the chair with her forefinger the way Miral did when she was upset and hoped she was giving the admiral a convincing performance.

"It's usually your sister who's the dramatic one," Janeway noted carefully. "I'm surprised at how upset you are."

L'Naan sneaked a glance at Janeway to see if she really believed her. She decided to press on. "Admiral, do you think I should do it? Join the Continuum?"

"I think they'll expect you to demonstrate Qness before you're allowed to join."

L'Naan looked up sharply. "How did you know about that?"

"How did you?" Janeway asked, revealing her cards. "Why don't you tell me whatever it is you and Charlie have been hiding from me for the last six months?"

L'Naan sighed as the curtain fell on her performance. Oh, well, I've never been much of a liar anyway. That was always Miral's area of expertise. "Q Senior paid me a visit." She noticed a slight flush cross the admiral's face at the mention of his name. "Yes, he's still attracted to you." Janeway's face reddened even as she scowled. "It's okay, I know how much you love Chakotay."

"L'Naan," the admiral said bitingly. "Stop doing that."

"I'm really sorry," L'Naan said honestly. "I can't stop. I just look at people and know things about them. Qness?"

"Something Charlie's father explained to me. It's in my log. Before the Continuum would accept Charlie back when he was a teenager, he had to demonstrate Qness."

"How did he do it?"

"He offered his life for Icheb's."

"No wonder he keeps asking about Icheb!" L'Naan leaned back in the chair for a moment, processing. "That's Qness? It seems so human. I thought the Q didn't believe in sacrifice."

"Don't tell Charlie this," Janeway said in a conspiratorial tone. "But I think the Q are a lot more like us than they want to believe."

Oh, Admiral, you have no idea.


Torres-Paris Family Residence

"What are you reading?" Charlie asked as he materialized in L'Naan's bedroom.

L'Naan, no longer startled by his sudden appearance or disappearance, looked up from the padd on her lap. "It's Data's biography. He was the first sentient android. He served in Starfleet."

"Under Captain Picard."

"Did you know him?"

"No, I wasn't born yet, but Q made him laugh once."

L'Naan smiled the way she always did when Charlie provided further evidence that the Q had hearts. "I would have loved to have seen that. It was Data's greatest dream to be human."

Charlie sat on her bed, and L'Naan shifted over to make room for him. "What's so interesting about his biography?"

It was a question she'd been asked more times than she could remember, and the response she always gave inevitably failed to persuade. L'Naan looked at him with wide eyes and explained softly, "It's really about how we define machines and how we define humanity, trying to find answers to why we exist."

"I'd love to read it."

L'Naan tipped her head sideways as she looked at him. He was telling the truth, she knew it implicitly, and it made her smile. "I knew you'd come back," she said happily. "Somewhere, inside, I just had this belief that I'd see you again."

"After you kissed me, how could I not?" Charlie asked with a grin.

"You know humans do a lot more than that when they like each other, don't you?"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Of course, but what's the point? I'm not going to get pregnant and tote around a fetal version of myself."

It was L'Naan's turn to roll her eyes. "Charlie, sometimes you have to keep your mouth shut. You really –" She had to stop as she began to laugh. "You really just don't know how to say the right thing at all."

"You'll teach me," he said, ignoring her laughter. "We have plenty of time. So where are we going tonight?"

"Well, I thought I'd show you where I go to look the stars – or where I used to, before I met you. When I was little, my dad used to sneak us onto the roof so we could look at the constellations. It's not quite the same as seeing them from space, but…"

"No," he said reassuringly, "I want to understand how you see the universe."


Galor IV, Daystrom Institute for Artificial Intelligence, Dormitory Room of L'Naan Paris, 2401

Having celebrated the winter holidays on Earth with her family, L'Naan flashed herself back to Galor IV two days before her second semester was to begin. She submitted a formal letter notifying the school of her intention to discontinue her studies with a tinge of regret.

As she packed up her personal belongings, her lab partner Jenari followed her from one end of the dorm room to the other. "I can't believe you're leaving," she said. "Of all the people in our class, I never would have thought you'd be the drop-out."

"I am not a drop-out," L'Naan said as she placed a pile of folded clothing into a duffel bag. I wish I'd never taught you that phrase. "I have a project bigger than Vorik to work on, and I can't do it here."

"Can't you at least tell me what it's about?" Jenari asked.

"I can't, I'm sorry. But you can read my emotions. What do you think is happening?"

Jenari concentrated on her for a moment. "It's something really big, and you're really excited about it. But there's something else – apprehension. You don't know how it's all going to work out, but you're eager to try."

L'Naan nodded. "So be happy for me."

"What do your parents think about you dropping out?"

"Jenari, quite using that expression!"

"Sorry."

L'Naan continued to empty her dresser drawers into the duffel bag. "My mother, as my sister would say, 'went Bolian.'"

"What does that mean?"

Oh, Jenari, I'm going to miss how completely out of touch with the galaxy you are.

"It's an inappropriate colloquialism," L'Naan patiently explained. "She freaked out. She panicked. She got upset. Flew off the handle."

"I get the idea. You know, Brez is pretty upset that you broke up with him."

L'Naan resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Brez will be fine. We weren't really meant to be together, anyway."

"Where are you going to go? The next passenger ship to Earth isn't due for three more days."

"Uh, I've arranged my own transportation." She zipped her duffel bag and looked at her friend. "I really enjoyed working with you last semester. I wish I could stay around long enough to hear Vorik speak."

Her robotic cat Schrödinger poked his head out from under the bed, and L'Naan felt a rush of guilt at having forgotten him. She knelt down to retrieve him.

"Jenari, I'm not going to be able to Schrödinger with me. Will you take care of him? And promise me you'll love him and Vorik?" L'Naan petted the cat for a moment before passing him to Jenari.

"I promise you I'll treat them both like you would," Jenari assured her. "I'm going to miss you. Keep in touch, okay?"

L'Naan nodded and said cryptically, "I'm fairly certain I'll be able to talk to you any time you think about me."

Jenari tossed a puzzled look over her shoulder as she left the room.

L'Naan slung her bag onto her shoulder and took a deep breath as she looked around the empty dorm room. For as long as she could remember, this was what she'd wanted to do. She'd gotten her dream. And she was about to give it all up. She snapped her finger and vanished from Galor IV.