A/N
You have my apologies that this is out of order. When I put up the next chapter (also a Hitomi POV), this will go in place after Jabs, but for now it's here. Yep, it's taking you back in time a few months.
Dedicated to Il Fusco, who had a good point that I skipped too much. Thanks for the encouragement. I write by feeling, and I have been so stressed lately that it was hard to properly feel out what Hitomi needed to say.
But here you go. I hope it lives up to any expectations.
xo-CE
Hands
Hitomi endured her mother's primping with closed eyes. The ship was nearing the city of Fanelia. She could feel it. Even though the single window out her parent's chamber faced the way they'd come, she knew they were getting closer.
On the couch next to her, her father harrumphed as Nika chided her, yet again, for her hair being so tangled.
"You're a queen, now, Hitomi," she began.
"Will be," her father gruffly interjected.
"As good as," her mother argued before continuing on with her lecture. "You need to be mindful of how you look at all times. What were you thinking going out when we were at full speed like that?"
Ignoring them and the brush her mother pulled through her wind-tangled hair, Hitomi kept her eyes shut and focused on her breathing.
She knew all this. The pressure of the looming responsibility before her swelled within her chest, as if the air were thick and heavy with dank moisture, instead of light and thin as it ought to be up here in the airship.
So what if she got windswept hair for enjoying a final moment of freedom and exhilaration?
Ever since take-off days ago, her skin had prickled constantly with nervousness. The closer they came to her new home, the more she'd craved the brisk air of the balcony to cool herself off and free up her lungs. Besides, she'd been desperate to look out at the wintry mountains passing by without any screen between her and them, to remind herself why she was doing this, why she was marrying a man she'd only spoken to one time.
At least her dreams had been peaceful and she was well-rested. Since accepting the proposal, she'd slept long and deep. The weeks before that– prior to the gala and after– she had lived and re-lived her introduction to King Van on repeat. Always the same moment, too: her putting her hand out and him taking it before she looked up into penetrating brown eyes. For weeks, she had awoken to the sensation of her heart fluttering, and for as much as she analyzed it, she couldn't understand why their clasped hands evoked such a visceral response.
Soon enough, her mother was satisfied with the new braid in her hair. By this time, the airship had circled the city, slowed, and then rocked, indicating the anchors had been launched overboard, tethering the ship to the Fanelian airfield.
Her time to disembark had come. Hitomi's stomach twisted as she struggled to breathe.
With her father sitting close on one side, Hitomi neurotically smoothed her gold skirts with a shaking hand. Her mother reached over and clasped her hand tightly.
This was it.
She turned wide eyes to her, suddenly not ready to let go of this final, simple moment with them as their child. Once she stepped out of the ship and was welcomed into Fanelia, she would be under the care of her future husband. Sure, she'd still have time with her parents before the wedding– and that was a sort of consolation– but it would never again be like this, just her and them.
Her mother knew it too. Hitomi watched with a pang as Nika's delicate chin trembled even as she gestured for them to stand.
Somehow she held herself together while her mother first tied a winter cape around Hitomi's shoulders and then kissed her cheek. She could endure her embrace with only a tight throat.
But she couldn't for her father. When he wrapped his powerful arms around her, she felt her fortitude begin to wane. He pulled away and gripped her shoulders, gazing into her face, his lips pressed tight and a deep crease between his eyes.
"When you step off this ship, you will no longer be–," he began in a strangled whisper, but emotion cut his words short. He stroked a knuckle down her jaw.
She saw him blink rapidly, and that was all it took. Tears welled her vision as her heart squeezed, an all-consuming pain she didn't realize she could feel. She sucked in a shuddering breath. "I will always be your little girl, Papa," she said, her words a barely audible whine. Her mother reached over to dab her cheeks with a handkerchief.
Zaemon's green eyes shimmered as he shook his head grimly. "This is what I raised you–" he began, but he inhaled and pressed his eyes closed, his lips quivering. When he bent forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, he said in a hoarse whisper, "You will be a wise queen, my daughter." Abruptly, he let her go and turned away, adjusting his formal jacket with a shrug of his shoulders before stepping briskly out the door and into the hallway.
Hitomi spun desolately into her mother's arms. "Mama," she said in a whine, gripping her close, burying her face in the familiar smell of her mother's neck.
Nika's gentle, feminine hands rubbed her back. "I know how you feel, Hitomi," she said, her words tinged with sorrow. "It's better to do this now, my love. Let it out. Feel all of it and let it go."
Hitomi did just that. She allowed herself this one grace of feeling, an acknowledgement of the primal pain of parting, her entire being shuddering as her soul seemed to cut in half for the ache. Instinctively, she knew that once this had passed, she must step out of this old skin and into a new one, a new role, a new life. She wasn't sure she was ready. Was she strong enough to be a queen?
But in spite of her doubts, her emotions ebbed away and her sobs quieted. She began to feel the pain dim.
Her mother's soothing voice sounded in her ear again. "There, now, my little love. Dry your tears, my queen. You must not let them see you this way," she said. "You must not cry anymore."
Hitomi sniffed and nodded, pulling away to dry her face in her handkerchief. The agony of the loss of her former life was still present– it probably always would be– but by allowing herself to feel it, to let it run its course through her, it was no longer overwhelming. She thought she could bear this dim ache.
Wiping her face again, she looked up, satisfied that she could meet her mother's brave smile with her own.
Before stepping outside, Nika had swiftly primped her again, quickly glossing her lips and then dabbing her tear-streaked cheeks with a shimmery powder. A couple sparkles had caught in her eyelashes, and now, escorted by her father, they glinted as she blinked out at the bright, snowy scene around her. The brisk air cooled her hot cheeks, and she hoped that smoothed over the remaining evidence of her emotional episode.
A surprising crowd had gathered to welcome her, filling the compact Fanelian airfield. Beyond the mounted guards circling the royal coach at the end of the gangplank, men, women, and children pressed together, calling out and waving to her, their smiles readily visible. Hitomi's heart lifted, and while tears threatened at the sight, she blinked them back easily. These were the people she would promise to serve, and their obvious excitement filled her. She smiled back and waved as demurely as she could.
She scanned away from the smiles and crinkled faces of the people before skipping across and then returning to the auspicious figure waiting, his gloved hands clasped together, at the end of the gangplank.
King Fanel.
Her future husband.
She swallowed, hoping her blush didn't turn too dark, and dug her fingers a little into her father's gloved hand.
Earlier, she'd wondered if the king would be disappointed that his future bride was reusing the golden gown from the gala, but when she saw him in the same white uniform he'd worn– she could tell by the particular cut of the jacket, as it was nicely fitted with two extra seams along the length– she laughed to herself. At least they had this simplicity of taste in common.
Cautiously, she lifted her eyes to his face, wondering if it was the same as she'd remembered.
Yes, there was the dark brow and the intent gaze, though his hair wasn't slicked back. It fell a bit over his eyes, but even so, in this light, she saw him watching her. As she grew closer, his eyes glistened bright and ruddy in color, like the cinnamon she enjoyed in her tea.
A tingle ran up her spine.
He wasn't smiling, but she saw his neck bob as he swallowed and looked away from her gaze.
They stopped before him. Her father took her hand, kissed it, and then held it out towards King Van.
"King Fanel, I deliver my daughter into your hands and to your kingdom," he said softly, gravely.
Hitomi tamped down a flush of uncertainty as the king hesitated, his eyes widening as he looked first from her father, to her, to their hands held out before him. Was he so unfamiliar with this basic, paternal, Freidian tradition?
The priest behind him– the Head Minister Arlott, she guessed by the tall cap and long robes– smiled and coughed.
The king, his face definitely a shade pinker, stiffened and bent his head to her father.
"I am honored, General Kanzaki, that you bestow such trust upon me," he said, his voice almost cracking. He cleared his throat and hovered his hands barely over theirs, an awkward mixture of Fanelian and Freidian customs. "May Escaflowne rain down blessings upon your– our families," he muttered before quickly removing his hand.
She heard her father exhale as he let go of her and stepped back to be with her mother. Hitomi quickly closed her outstretched hand into a fist. "King Fanel," she said with a bow of her head, waiting.
Obviously relieved at the switch back to a strictly Fanelian custom, he clasped her gloved fist in both his and lifted it to his lips. "Welcome to Fanelia," he said simply before pressing a ghost-like kiss to her gloved knuckles.
"Thank you," she replied, but her words were lost in the cheering of the crowd.
King Van straightened and took her by the hand, circling her the same way he had at the beginning of their dance, as if he were presenting her. Just as then, his grip on her was firm and strong. Hitomi smiled, first at him and then the people, tipping her head to them before stepping up into the open carriage.
A footman covered her shoulders with a fur cape and stole before she settled down. The king sat straight and formal next to her, the red velvet cushion plainly visible between them. He rubbed his hands together. She looked behind to see her parents getting in a separate, closed carriage with the ministers.
They didn't speak much, and while her senses were all-too-aware of the important person to her left, she kept her gaze elsewhere. Here and there as they passed through the close, winding streets, King Fanel pointed out a statue of the god Escaflowne or an old king, or named a charming square they crossed, but most of their procession to the palace was spent waving at the throngs they passed. She was too preoccupied to notice her new home grow closer.
Paper flowers found their way to her feet, thrown either by admiring young girls or by brazen young men, whose low-Fanelian accents were almost as charming in their roughness as their flirtatious smiles. Hitomi laughed and waved as they ran along the carriage, while on the other side, the bravest of men called out barely-veiled, suggestive congratulations to the king. Through it all, King Van remained unimpressed and waved politely now and again, but only to those who didn't jeer at them.
Just once did his stoic expression break. At the last corner before turning through the gates and winding up to the royal grounds, a large woman stood, dressed in black and draped in an exquisitely embroidered ebony veil. Dramatically–operatically– she lamented the loss of "the most eligible bachelor on Gaea". Hitomi watched the king's reaction to the public performance, side-eyed, unable to hide her amusement. He was pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, but when he noticed Hitomi laughing, he shook his head and smiled at her, the edges of his face softening as his eyes glinted pleasantly.
It was the same look she'd seen during their dance.
An expression she had decided would be nice to live with.
Contented, the future queen sat back and basked in the silence of the royal grounds, the only sound the scraping carriage wheels and clopping horse hooves over brick and stone as it wound its way up the steep sides of the plateau.
The leafless, snowy branches of the Great Tree drew her eyes as it loomed high and broad overhead, as if it were welcoming her into its arms and her new home. A pair of red birds flew from its depths, circled, and came to rest elsewhere in the tree. Just then, a breeze swept up, blowing snow off the branches and across the cloudless blue sky. In the sunlight, Hitomi watched as the crystalline flakes glittered and swirled in a mesmerizing dance, settling all around the carriage and dusting the hedges coming into view, bordering the gardens.
Her breath caught.
She'd seen this before, years ago. In those long-ago dreams of the Great Tree she used to have. She'd nearly forgotten. She used to see the snow swirl just so in the sky, before she stepped into the paths of the–.
"Are you alright?"
Startled, Hitomi snapped her mouth shut and blinked, her vision coming into focus.
They were leveling out before the tall facade of the royal palace. Ancient, wooden, and almost fort-like compared to some palaces she'd seen, Hitomi sucked in a breath at its beauty now. The fresh snow atop the curled corners of the roof and layering the wooden beams of the many windows made what others called a rather homely palace appear rather the opposite.
"Ah…Lady–Kanzaki?" King Van's hesitating voice broke through her thoughts.
Blinking, she turned to see him watching her with his eyebrows knit together.
He'd asked after her well-being.
Hitomi pressed her gloved hand to her cheek. "Yes, I– uh," she stammered, unable to put into words the way her heart thrummed with sudden joy, or the serenity warming her breast. It was a very different sensation from the cutting ache she'd experienced before leaving the ship and her parents.
She sucked in a breath. "I was just–the Great Tree– it's– it's very beautiful in the winter. Especially with fresh snow," she said in a rush, hoping he'd forgive her embarrassed smile.
His eyes narrowed, and for a moment, she worried that he'd scorn her obvious blundering. But as he turned forward, the corners of his mouth twitched. "I'm glad you think so," he said, so softly she barely heard him.
She pulled her eyes away from his profile just in time for the carriage to come to a stop before the end of a modest line of servants, who all stood with their hands clasped before them and their heads bowed respectfully, waiting to be properly introduced to their new mistress and future queen.
King Van stepped out first and then lifted his hand for her. Hitomi looked at the modest line of servants and then back at the Great Tree. When she stood, she took her future-husband's hand, a smile on her lips.
