Chapter Twelve
The floor tiles were cold to Hinata's bare feet as she stepped into the darkness of the small bathroom. Her hand moved alongside the wall, searching for a light switch; she found one, and flipped it. Hesitantly, a single lamp flickered for a moment, then stayed on. The bright light hurt Hinata's already sore eyes, but she didn't avert or cover them. She looked around absent-mindedly. The bathroom walls were coated with tiles much like those on the floor, only larger. The ceiling was made of wood. All of it was white, clean and smooth.
She leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to steady her trembling legs. She felt weak. About half an hour before, she had woken up in pain, pain in every inch of her body, so oppressive she hadn't dared to move for a while. More than before, she had realised that she was completely reliant on Kiza's medicine now, and even with that she could almost feel the disease eating away at her. Naruto had brought back a bit of that medicine after his talk with Kiza the night before, and Hinata had taken some of it once she had managed to move again, but there wasn't much left now – just enough to get through the day, probably. And tonight, she would have another third of her powers extracted, which would be ruinous for her health as well. At that thought, she suddenly felt nervous. The news of Kiza being taken away and locked up had shocked her, and had made her even more confused about whether helping Neji was still the right thing to do. Both Naruto and Kiza seemed convinced that it was not, but they had their own interests in this. Kiza to keep her clan safe, and Naruto... to keep her safe?
Hinata blushed at the thought. I shouldn't delude myself like that. He cares for me, I know that... but I can't tell in what way. I might have known, and I want to know, but... I don't know if I could deal with the wrong answer right now. And there is too much at stake to let my own problems mix in this.
She looked in the mirror, stared at her own reflection. Not that there was a point. The state of her eyesight right now reduced her image to some blurry shapes, which didn't help to make her feel any better. She sighed.
All the promises I made, the vows I swore, what do they matter now? To defend my rights, to fight for what I care for... to stand up for myself, for my own goals. But how can I do that if the two things I want most cannot both happen? I care for my clan and my family, and I'm willing to give up all my powers for them, but I also care for Naruto. So much... and if I go through with this I give up on ever being with him. Even if I make it through, he wouldn't care for a blind, powerless girl. Not in the way I'd want him to.
She walked over to the shower and turned it on. With a hiss, the water spouted from the shower head and hit the floor with a surprising amount of noise. Hinata reached out gingerly, touched the water beam with her hand. It was cold as ice. She shivered, and goose pimples formed on her arm. She patiently waited for the temperature to rise, then took off her clothes, hung them over a towel rack and stepped into the stream, closing the shower curtain behind her. With a sigh of relief she felt how the hot water caressed her shoulders, loosened up her muscles and washed away the dirt and sweat of the past four days.
If I had let him finish his words, she mused dreamily, what would I have heard? Did I interrupt him because I was afraid he'd say what I want him to say, or because I was afraid he'd say something else? In the heat of the moment, I might have jumped to conclusions. Why would he like me as anything more than a friend, if he hasn't seen me in years? But they also say love can just hit you out of the blue... so what if he does feel that way about me? I could be making a huge mistake here.
Slightly peeved with herself, she let the water run over her face. It reminded her of that night, when she had shouted at Neji, had told him she'd rather die than live without Naruto. And he had trapped her, putting the lives of her friends at stake, telling her her love was impossible. If her father found out...
She suddenly froze as a new thought emerged in her mind. If her father found out, yes... but what if he didn't find out? What if she just straight up asked Naruto, but didn't tell anyone about it? His answer would give her some peace of mind either way, and perhaps so much more... and if they kept it secret long enough, her father wouldn't have to disapprove and they could avoid all the trouble Neji had summed up!
Is this the chance I've been looking for? I just want to be with him, care for him, show him how much he means to me. I would want to see his kind smile every day... even if I have to keep quiet about it to everyone else.
She smiled guiltily to herself, but she felt undeniably excited by the idea. She couldn't deny standing up to Neji had felt exceptionally good, and she wondered how it would feel to do the same to her father.
It has been decided, then. If I get a good chance, I'm going to ask Naruto how he feels. I just hope I can work up the courage for that...
On a shelve next to her stood a number of tiny glass bottles with coloury contents. She couldn't read the labels, but she had had the foresight to ask Naruto to identify them for her the evening before. She picked one she knew contained shampoo, removed the cap and brought it to her nose, and inhaled the sweet scent carefully.
Lavender. Why not?
Gently but firmly, she lathered her long, dark hair, taking her time to make sure she didn't miss a single spot. As long as she kept herself occupied, she wouldn't have to think about tonight, wouldn't have to give in to the panic that slumbered just beneath the surface. She didn't fool herself; calm though she looked, it was just a mask, part of the barrier she had developed during her life. On the inside, uncertainty and fear raged. But she couldn't let that show. Controlling your emotions was one of the traditional values of being a shinobi.
"Hey, Hinata!"
With a shriek, she dropped the shampoo bottle, which hit the floor with a terribly high-pitched sound but miraculously stayed in one piece.
"Naruto-kun?" she stammered. She hadn't expected him to be awake already, and the doors didn't have locks on them to prevent any guests, or rather captives, from locking themselves in, which didn't really add to the sense of privacy.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," his voice came from the other side of the curtain. "I just wanted to say I'm going to find this library I told you about."
"Ah. Yes. Okay." She hugged herself apprehensively.
"So, I'll meet you there later on? That is, if you want to help. You don't have to, of course. I mean, I wouldn't mind, but if you don't feel like it-"
"I- I do! But... I can't read with these eyes, so I don't think I would be a lot of help... but I might come to keep you company, if that's alright?"
"Yes, of course! I mean, be my guest. I'll see you there, then." He paused. "So, I'll be going now."
"Yes."
"Um. Are you okay, by the way?"
"I'm fine, really. Just washing my hair."
"Ah. Want me to rinse it?"
"N-Naruto-kun!"
"Just kidding! I'll see you later."
Hinata waited for the sound of the door slamming shut, then breathed out in relief. She could almost feel the fire on her cheeks, and her hands were so shaky she nearly dropped the bottle again as she picked it up.
Controlling my emotions, who am I kidding? Even just hearing his voice makes my heart go crazy...
She quickly finished her shower, dried herself off with a rough towel and put her clothes back on. They were dirty and smelly, but that was unavoidable for a shinobi on a long mission, and she was used to it. She brushed her teeth with her orange toothbrush and ate some of the food that had been left outside the door and brought in by Naruto while she had been showering. She noticed he hadn't eaten even half of it, even though it wasn't that much – he had probably left most of it for her. She felt strangely touched by that. Naruto wasn't generally one to leave much food.
She looked at the clock – it was almost eleven in the morning. She quickly finished eating, then stepped outside, closed the door and looked down the long corridor.
Where should I go? I could go the library as well... even though I can't help, at least I could be with Naruto. Though that might just distract him... maybe I should go outside, get some fresh air again. I don't think I'm fit to live my life underground like the people here.
She put her hands in the pockets of her vest, and her right hand touched something small and hard – the tiny plastic container that contained Kiza's medicine. She gripped it tightly. Without that medicine, she would be done for soon enough. Being with Naruto or going outside would have to wait – she had to tell Neji about her sickness. He was the only one who would listen to her and might be able to get her more medicine.
However, she had no idea where she could find him. After all, the only time she had seen Neji down here was when he had picked her up at the hospital area. She didn't know where his room was or what he was doing during daytime, and she doubted any of the Branch members would know.
No, wait. There's another place I know he's been at least once. The chamber where the transfer ritual took place. Neji said it was in some sort of temple... he might be there to prepare for tonight.
It was worth a shot. With that aim in mind, she followed the tunnel all the way to the hall that separated the outer caves from the inner caves. She was pleasantly surprised to see that there actually was a tunnel labelled 'temple' – it just went to show that things didn't always have to be difficult. Feeling strangely cheerful she started walking following the winding path, and she quickly noticed that no other tunnels connected this one to the rest of the inner cave system. The reason for that was probably a practical one; this tunnel led into a different direction than all the others, which would make it a lot harder to connect them. It was also sloping upwards, against Hinata's expectations – she had vaguely expected that something as symbolic as a temple would lie a lot deeper for a people living underground.
After she had been walking for about ten minutes without meeting so much as a single soul, the tunnel widened again and opened into a much larger chamber, the details of which were impossible to make out as it was pitch dark. Hinata felt disappointed. For some reason she had fully expected Neji to be here, but she doubted he or anyone else would walk around in this darkness. She turned around again, wondering where to look next.
Then a sound arose from the centre of the chamber, a soft moaning of someone in pain. Hinata froze, looked over her shoulder and tried to peer through the darkness, which didn't work.
"Hello?" she called. There was no response, just another groan, softer than before.
"Is anyone there? Are you in pain?" Hinata tried, but only silence greeted her words this time. Nervously, she grabbed a nearby torch from the wall and stepped into the chamber. The fire didn't produce nearly enough light to make her comfortable, and she kept a watchful eye on the shadows that seemed to be closing in around her. The echoes of her voice gave her a vague idea of the dimensions of the room, and it didn't seem to be unusually large, but it certainly was unusually creepy and if not for her caring nature she would have long turned around and run away.
Now she could hear unsteady breathing just ahead of her. Her heart pounded like the drums on a speeding warship, her hands were trembling, her eyes were fixed on the edge of the dome of light. The air was very cold. A few more steps, and then she saw a hunched figure on the ground, facing away from her, quietly groaning in agony.
"Um... excuse me," Hinata began in a shrill voice, but the figure started, jumped up and lashed out at her. In a reflex she crossed her arms before her chest to block the blow, but the force behind it was so strong she got knocked back and fell to the ground. Her attacker walked over to her unsteadily, and looking up she saw who it was. Towering over her stood Neji, his features lit by the fallen torch, but it was also not Neji – his protruding eyes showed no trace of awareness of what was going on, but they were furious with pain and an animal-like ferocity. The veins on his temples bulged as if they were about to burst as he directed his gaze at Hinata, who tried to crawl away backwards. With a lightning-fast movement he grabbed her throat and pulled her up, holding her dangling above the ground with no apparent effort, but this time Hinata was prepared and she struck both her palms against the arm holding her, forcing as much chakra into it as she could muster. Neji cried out in pain and was forced to drop her, and as she hit the ground she rolled over and then ran, and ran, and ran for the light of the exit. The darkness seemed to lunge at her, and behind her she could hear Neji's anguished screams, but she reached the doorway safely and kept running all the way back to the entrance hall, not once looking back. Soon, Neji's cries could no longer be heard, but they still echoed around in her mind as she frantically tried to make sense of what she had just seen. She had to find Naruto!
***
In a storage room, somewhere at the very edge of the inner cave system, Kiza sat huddled up in a corner, staring at the wall, thinking. There was nothing else to do. The room was mostly empty apart from some dusty crates which, she had quickly found out, contained some rusty tools and some greasy, oil-stained rags. Then there was the thin mattress, worn, pale and ripped up here and there, but still the only thing she had to lie on, and a blanket which smelled terrible but at least kept her warm. And that was all she had.
The reason she was there was because the Hidden Branch did not have any prison cells. It didn't need any; crime was almost non-existent as it was completely pointless. Who stole from another Branch member only stole from himself, and who upset or hurt someone would do so in the knowledge he'd have to live with it for the rest of his life, since nobody was ever allowed to leave.
So Modosu had put her in here, far away from anyone else, with a solid lock on the door and two guards a bit down the hall. She knew about the guards thanks to her Byakugan – like most Branch members she had never developed it quite well and her range of vision was positively miniscule compared to that of the Hyuuga from Konoha, but it sufficed in these situations. Not that she had any use for this information. She wasn't going anywhere.
She found herself wondering how long her medicine would sustain Hinata. She had not been able to make many pills in such a short time span and with everything going on, and she feared that as Hinata's disease progressed she would need more and more medicine to suppress it. She had told Modosu of her worries, and he had said he would look into it, but she didn't trust him any further than she could see with her Byakugan, which, as said, wasn't very far at all.
She stared at the wall. She wondered how long she would have to sit here, alone, without the faintest idea of what was going on. Then she decided she would rather not know, and tried to think of something else.
It helped that at that moment she could hear footsteps nearing her room. Alarmed, she got to her feet. Whoever was approaching had to be coming for her – hers was the only room in use out here.
The footsteps came to a halt, and the door was unlocked and then flung open, carelessly. A man entered the room.
"Hello, Kiza," he spoke.
Kiza's features darkened noticeably.
"What," she asked once she had gathered the right amount of contempt in her voice, "do you want?"
"That tone of voice..." Rousoku examined her curiously, as if she were a caged animal. "You haven't changed much, I see. And in other ways, you have changed quite a lot."
He closed the door behind him, and when he regarded her again he did so with an infuriating disappointment in his gaze. "Kiza, Kiza, Kiza," he said sadly, and every word made her blood boil. "When did you become so rebellious?"
"When? You ask when?" She quivered with anger. "Oh, I don't know! Maybe around the time you decided I wasn't worth caring for and left me to take care of myself? Left me to die? Could that have been it? Does that ring a bell to you at all?"
Rousoku held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Do calm down, would you? I am not here to argue."
She jumped at his words like an angry cat, claws brandished. "What do I care what you're here for? How do you even dare to stand in front of me after everything you've done? In case you haven't noticed, which I know you haven't, my life has been really pleasant without you! So by all means, go back out that door and never show your face again!"
Rousoku hesitated. "You are obviously very tired and confused," he said eventually, "So I won't hold your words against you. Let's get to business now."
"I mean what I say!" Kiza cried, but Rousoku silenced her with one sign of his hand. He was obviously getting annoyed with her already, and when he got annoyed he got unpredictable. She stared at him darkly.
"I have been told that you hold quite a sway over my villagers," he said, "and that you have been encouraging them to reject me. A ridiculous notion, as I'm sure you will come to see in time. You are far too young to understand the responsibility that lies on my shoulders. I am honour bound to fulfil our ancestors' wishes."
"Honour bound!" she exclaimed. "And what about the villager's wishes? Are the voices of the dead more important to you than those of the living?"
Rousoku licked his lips. "The voices..." he started, but then stopped again. He eyed his daughter suspiciously. Then he shook his head.
"The villagers don't know what is best for them. What kind of life is this, hiding in these caves? Are we any less than the head family, that we are not allowed to live in the rich Konoha?"
"These caves are our home!"
"No. They're just a hiding place, and they've never been more than that. Our ancestors never intended for us-"
"There you go again, with your ancestors! Stop living in the past! Look around you, and try to see what is real for a change rather than what you want so badly to be real."
He waved her words aside with a simple gesture, and she realised she wasn't getting through to him at all. He was too stubborn, too caught up in the illogical contraptions of his own mind. She could only hope Neji was a more open-minded type.
"You still haven't said why you are here," she insisted coldly. "And I would appreciate it if you could just get it over with and leave. Your presence annoys me."
The corner of his mouth twitched slightly. "I had intended to try and make you see reason, to make you understand that the last thing this clan needs in its current situation is internal conflict. I had hoped that you would be willing to make up for your mistakes and use your influence to tell the people to follow and respect their rightful leader, as they should. But I can see you are a lost cause." His mouth was a thin, hard line as he looked down upon her indifferent, almost arrogant expression.
Then he smirked.
"You're just as ignorant as your mother was."
A moment of silence followed. Then Kiza looked up at him, her gaze sad but unflinching. "I figured you would say something petty like that. Do you think anything you can say about her can hurt me now? She is gone. You might as well have some respect and not speak ill of the dead."
She could tell from his expression this was not at all the reaction he had hoped for; his smirk disappeared and his eyes darted from left to right. She felt little but contempt for him, a weak man pretending to be a leader. She folded her arms.
He might have gone on arguing, but thought better of it.
"Fine," he said instead. "It doesn't matter. You can rot in here for all I care. I was merely offering you a chance at redemption." He shrugged. "You're still my daughter, after all," he added without the slightest hint of warmth.
A stunned silence followed.
"What?" Kiza asked, as if she hadn't quite understood.
"I said, you're still my daughter. After all."
Kiza looked at him incredulously. He hastened to explain.
"I wouldn't have given anyone else a second chance like this, you see. But since we're blood relatives..." His voice trailed off uncomfortably as Kiza looked away. He frowned. He felt something was off but couldn't put his finger on it.
"Did you...?" he started, but stopped again. The atmosphere in the room had changed, and he knew it had something to do with her.
Then, finally, came her voice, terrifyingly soft.
"Your daughter...?"
She looked up at him, and something glistened in her eyes, something that unsettled him more than her words alone. It was a fierceness he had never seen before, but it was completely under control, like a katana is deadly under the control of a samurai. He was astounded to find that it frightened him, and he had to fight the urge to back away as Kiza slowly stepped closer to him until she had to look almost straight up to stare him in the eye, which she did.
"No," she said quietly, and her voice could have split solid rock in two, "that bond between you and me was broken long ago. You have become just an obstacle this clan has to overcome, nothing more."
Rousoku wanted to interrupt, but there was something about her that left him unable to find the words or even the breath to speak them with. Her gaze was intense like a seething fire and as unavoidable as death itself, and this sudden change was very disconcerting. He started as she suddenly stirred, but she only moved to her toes and brought her face next to his.
"I will not let you destroy us," she whispered in his ear, "and I will not let you ruin Hinata's life the way you ruined mine. I swear on my mother's grave, if I get out of here – which I will, eventually – and I find out you laid so much as a finger on Hinata, then I won't rest until I have inflicted every ounce of pain you caused her back on you. Thousandfold." Then she leaned back and regarded him calmly.
Rousoku was stunned. He was utterly unable to come up with a response. He tried to speak again, but his words seemed to wither on his tongue. He looked away, stared back into her eyes, then looked away again and suddenly turned around and paced out of the room angrily without saying another word. He slammed the door behind him, and some dust came twirling down from the ceiling.
For a moment, Kiza stood there, calm and immovable as a statue.
Then she breathed out and slumped down on her mattress triumphantly, feeling extremely relieved and pleased with herself. She hadn't intended to say what she had said, but it had come naturally, a result of the silent anger and frustration she had build up towards her father over the years. It felt exceptionally good, as if she had gotten a load off her chest.
She had always been a positive thinker, of course, and she couldn't help but feel this little victory, insignificant though it was, might signify a larger trend, just like her successful speech had the other day. She felt that she was on the right path in dealing with her father, with the clan, even if she didn't know where that path would end. But she hoped it would lead to a brighter future. And not just for her own clan, but for the one in Konoha as well.
She stayed on this train of thought until she got bored with it. Then she jumped on another, and after a few minutes she was staring at the wall again, lost in thought.
She wondered what Naruto was up to.
