Two months. I know I'm a failure. Ah, sorry, I've had a little thing called chronic writer's block, plus I've been editing an original piece of work that I've been writing for a few years. I took a break from this for a little while to do that, and now I'm taking a break from that to do this. :)

I know, I have no excuses, but I only hope the chapter makes up for my lack of posts. My co-writer has been unable to fully keep track of the plot that I have created, so I'm going to have to finish this out solo. She's still going to edit for me, however. We don't have that much left! Hang in there, keep reading.

RxR! Luv ya guys!

-TG


Chapter 18: Black And White

Alice POV

Jasper actually laughed at that. His mood seemed to have lightened considerably, which may or not have been a result of my suddenly chipper attitude permeating the atmosphere. I was hopeful now, and I practically shook with anticipation. I had made a plan, and it would work. This plan was going to work, I kept repeating to myself. I would make it work, some how.

Jasper, as if realizing it wasn't a joke, spoke, "It sounds like a great idea, Alice, but getting rid of Maria is easier said than done. I mean, I see where you are coming from: the first step to taking down an army is to take down it's leader, right? Lose all form of organization by taking down the organizer?"

He was starting to sound like a Texan soldier again, and I imagined him in uniform, discussing battle tactics that could save his country instead of discussing ways to ultimately tear apart a seemingly small, yet horribly formidable, territorial vampire army that could easily take down an entire section of the United States Army. I didn't focus on that grim truth, though. I was focusing on the image of Jasper in uniform still... And I was content with that until he started talking reality again. "As much as I like the idea of tearing Maria apart, you would have to remember that she would have 20 vampires behind her to back her up... Which would attack us the moment they realized we were a threat..." Jasper paused, waiting for the smile to come off my face or the hopeful glint in my eye to dull again.

He continued, determined to find a waver in my fierce determination. "And once they realized we are a threat to their leader, they would probably kill us. I mean, after the training I have put them through they'd be more than equipped to take down the two of us, and there's a snowball's chance in hell that they may rebel against Maria for my sake, especially after all I've put them through." Jasper laughed at the thought, which made me curious to know exactly what all his "training" contained... I shivered at the thought, which made Jasper think I had finally come to my senses. But I still smiled and waited for him to stop looking at me like I was crazy.

Still, he tried to dissuade me, "And even if we did take down Maria in the process, which would grant me enormous satisfaction, we would still die... which would not be good and would eliminate the point of this whole plan."

He waited, and finally I decided to speak, "Who said that we were going to kill her?" He opened his mouth as if he were about to speak, but he stopped himself, thinking about what I had said. When he didn't come to any conclusions, I continued. "Isn't that the Volturi's job? Fixing problems?" I urged him to realize my ingenious plan, but he was still not getting it.

"As great as that sounds, you're forgetting that if the Volturi kills Maria, they will kill us." He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it practically was. But he still had not eliminated my plans yet.

"Who said we'd fight them?" I asked.

"Well, whether we fight the volturi or not, we'd still be guilty by association... and we would still die." For once, the fact that all of Jasper's outcomes seemed to end in death was funny to me, because he still hadn't figured my plans.

"Who said we'd be associating with them?" I said matter-of-factly. Now Jasper was really confused.

"Ok, so you're saying that we won't run, but we won't fight? Yeah... don't think that's going to work out so well because... well, there is really no middle ground on this issue. We can't get what we want here."

"Says whom?" I prompted.

"Says reality." Jasper retorted. He still didn't see the humor in this potential death or death situation. I unwrapped my crossed arms and reached up to put my hands on either side of his beautiful face. I stroked his cheek bone with my thumb as I admired his scarred, but magnificent skin.

I spoke in a whisper, like I was talking to myself. "Less than a month ago, I was a normal human teenager. Now, I'm a vampire who is in love with the world's strongest, bravest, most caring man to ever walk this earth. I can see the future, and you can manipulate emotions! Jasper, look around you; Reality has nothing to do with the world we live in." Before he could speak, I reached up and kissed him quickly, cutting off anything he was about to say. "And if it does? Well, if reality plays any part of our world then the reality you know must be far more expansive than you give it credit for."

Jasper looked deep into my eyes, as if trying to piece the little fragments together in this puzzle I was creating. Finally, he gave up trying to figure out what I was saying and just decided to ask me. "Alice, what are you trying to say?" He sounded defeated, as if I had raised his hopes, but he already knew he would be let down. He should know better than to think that I would let him down.

"What I'm saying is that maybe this isn't just a black or white situation, or a black and black in your case. Maybe this isn't even a gray situation! Maybe! This situation is so out of the box that you would have to invent a new color for it, maybe even the eighth color of the rainbow that only we, as vampires, can see. What I'm saying is this situation does not have to end with our death." I raised one eye-brow in a questioning look and continued, "You're saying we either die cowards or we die unclaimed heroes, right? Let's not die. Let's fight and live to tell about it."

Still, my cryptic answer did not satisfy Jasper, but this time he decided to play along with me. "Ok, so we fight and don't die? Sounds like a plan to me. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Oh, that's right; because the Volturi is practically invincible. But we can forget about that little detail- what's your idea, Alice?" He crossed his arms defiantly, and it only fueled my fire more to see him with an attitude. I smirked.

"Well, Jasper, have you ever thought of sticking around to make sure that Maria can't chase us?" Jasper just blinked in confusion, but didn't say anything. I continued. "I'm asking you to go back to the army again. Go back and act like the best, most enthusiastic soldier Maria's ever had. Say you have a genius plan and give her details. Think of something that will require you to leave the group just before the battle starts. Instead of actually doing it, come meet me. I don't know if we can avoid the Volturi, but we can try. Then, we stay- watch the battle to make sure no one is left to find us. Carefully avoiding leaving any trace for the Volturi to find, we leave! We watch Maria's army be destroyed, even if I don't like the idea of watching all that killing, and we walk away unscathed!" I finished, and still Jasper didn't say a word. At least now he seemed to pondering the possibilities.

Finally, after many seconds of just standing there, he answered, "That's crazy." My heart dropped with his outright refusal.

I urged for more feedback. ".... Just crazy enough to work?" Still Jasper stood there, leaving me in suspense.

"It's more than crazy enough to work: it's so crazy that we might even get out without a scratch. And it's so simple that I'm surprised I didn't think of it..." Jasper hung his head as if he were ashamed of himself. I went to him, reaching my hands up to put them on his shoulders.

"That's because you're all or nothing; you don't see the in-between stuff." He wrapped one arm around my waste, picking me up until I was at eye level with him.

"I guess that's why I have you then?" He smiled, kissing me before setting me down to the ground again. If my balance wasn't perfect, I might have been dizzy from the kiss. I smiled up at him, loving the way he accepted my ideas when, just a few seconds before, he denied that there had been any other possibility than death. I nodded in response to his rhetorical question. Though he knew my answer, I felt at that time that it was necessary to assure him of my response.

"You know you always will." I said, though the look on his face troubled me. He didn't look reassured at all. He appeared pensive. "Don't you?" I asked, worried for a moment.

"I do. I was just thinking that..." He trailed off with a sheepish look, obviously not willing to finish the sentence. My mouth pulled down as I saw that ashamed look.

"You can tell me anything." I pushed, afraid of what Jasper could be thinking. If I let him build up those emotions inside without letting them out, who knows what he could convince himself of? Could he even consider for a moment that I might not want to be with him? That would be absolutely crazy.

"I know I can." He paused. "It's just... you deserve someone stronger than me. You didn't want to kill a human, and you've succeeded thus far. You found a way out, but now I'm not sure if I can do it. I've been convinced for the past decade and a half that there was absolutely no way out of this fate. As much as I love you, I know it will never be enough if everything I do is against your morals."

I tried to interrupt him, "Jazz-"

"That's just it, though." He took my hands in his. "I don't know if I could ever leave you. It's not often that vampires' minds change, but you've changed mine. You've changed my whole world so drastically that there's no going back from this. I don't know how I'd be able to cope without you." I frowned at all this talk of leaving me. If I had anything to do with it, Jasper wasn't going anywhere. He had made an impact on me as well—one that couldn't be so easily dissuaded.

I shushed Jasper before he could say more. "This is the last time I will tell you this, Jasper Whitlock. I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere. It's going to take more than that to get rid of me now. I'm hooked, babe." He laughed and the mood around us lightened as he did.

An idea dawned on me at that moment. "And I don't expect to change your diet just yet. The thing is, I'm not sure what repercussions come with animal blood. I know I couldn't function without sustenance for those weeks, but I think I'm OK now. I won't know for a while. Eventually my eyes will change more drastically, as I have seen already in my visions, but I don't know what else could happen. I need you to stay as strong as possible just in case you might need it. All I ask is that you try a new lifestyle after this is all over." After a moment of deliberating, he nodded curtly. Something in his eyes made me think he still doubted that there would be an "after this" for us to enjoy. I didn't blame him for doubting, because I was doubtful too. All I could do was hope we had a future beyond the next ten days.

We started walking back the way we had come. I knew that I would eventually have to part ways with him before my presence could be sensed near the meadow. Without the distraction of a battle in the middle of the field, I doubt I would be able to sneak past the highly sensitive vampires if I was within a half-mile radius of them. Jasper stopped just before the limit of my proximity, keeping our entwined hands in between us as he faced me.

"So I'll go grovel at Maria's feet, I guess." He said, disdainfully. He was probably imagining exactly what he could do to make her trust him again. As he briefly debated the best course of action, a few glimpses of the future danced before my vision. I didn't want to see what Maria could do to get compensation from Jasper, so I tried to ignore the premonitions. "It might take me some time to get her to trust me again, and I doubt she'll let me go on 'walks' anymore by myself. It might be a few days before I can see you again..." He frowned at that thought.

I knew he could feel my disappointment at this realization, but I smiled anyway. While time seemed shorter in this new existence, anytime spent away from him was too long. I knew, however, that if we succeeded in our mission we could have the rest of our existence together. That was enough to console me for now. I let the thought of forever with Jasper fill me up as I spoke, "That's alright. You need to gain the army's trust again if this is going to work. I'll be practicing hunting while you're gone. If you get a chance to see me while I'm gone, I probably won't be too far from the meadow. I'll stay within a few miles so I won't get anywhere too... public." I shuttered at the thought of possibly running into humans on a hunting trip. As I gulped, my throat burned without warning.

He glanced down at my expression sympathetically, rubbing his smooth hand across my cheek to momentarily distract me. It worked. I was drawn to him for the moment, and I closed my eyes to relish the feeling of his skin. I wished I could've stayed there with him. I wished I didn't have to practice not being a murderer, while he worked on killing the people who would ultimately lead to our deaths otherwise. He brought my attention back to my end of the mission, "Just stay a few miles around the meadow and you should be fine. We're a good distance from the city, and there are no camping areas in proximity. We picked this spot partially for its seclusion." I didn't want to think about the other selling point of their current property: the menu.

I nodded at his advice, also trying to rid my head of the previous thought without seeming too obvious. I looked into his eyes, knowing it was time to say goodbye for now. Sensing the time as well, Jasper took my face in between his hands, taking his time bending down to kiss me. We started slow, but I deepened it as I realized I might not see him for over a week. Just the uncertainty of our next meeting had me frantic to savor every moment I had with him. After what seemed like both an eternity and a millisecond, we separated. I stepped back slowly, knowing we had to say goodbye some time. I had to go against all instinct to leave him there, standing as he watched me back away slowly.

"I'll see you soon," He whispered, watching me as my backwards steps became more frequent.

"Not soon enough," I answered back. He nodded in confirmation. Finally, when we could barely see each other through expanse of thick tree trunks between us, I turned. Reluctantly and too slow for a vampire, I began my trek back to the meadow. My footsteps felt heavy, yet weightless at the same time. I wondered briefly if I would see Jasper again. If Maria didn't trust him, she could order him killed. If she kept him too busy to succeed in our plans, Jasper might not get to me before the battle. Now that I had thought of all the possibilities, I couldn't get them out of my head. Thought I tried to push them back in the corner of my mind, where they would only be subconsciously considered, they wouldn't go away. How I wished all those dismal thoughts would disappear.