I'm Right Here by Rose Haze

Disclaimer I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

Author's Note: Ugh, this chapter was one of the hardest to write. Most of it is in Cody's point of view so it's his take on what has been happening since the beginning of chapter fourteen. So, yeah, I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. Also, there are two important notes at the end of the chapter.

This chapter is dedicated tothose of you who correctly guessed what Cody was trying to say in Chapter Seventeen: Girl Version of Chandler, Sketchy Ghost, missyfan1234, randomstranger842, clowninthebox, and 0x0xLOVE and WARx0x0

Honorable mentions go to those of you who got some, but not all of it, right: ARandomKid, Aquila-de-Sakura, Nightlark, Chelsea, Spice of Life, SugarHighNutcase, Iris Early, The Archer, sweet-x-paradise, and ADJL-Freakazoid

And it is also dedicated to In NYC because I meant to dedicate my last chapter to him (her? Oh my goodness, I just realized that I don't know if you are a girl or boy! EEK!)

One more thing, I kind of abused the whole "..." thing in this chapter. It might get annoying, but I am not talented enough to think of another way to let y'all know that time is passing by, so please bear with me : P

Okay then…. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Nineteen

Time to Go

"After the first death there is no other" –Shakespeare

Chuck and Maddie stayed at the hospital until visiting hours were over at nine o'clock. Zack went back to stroking Cody's cheek. He did not say anything, but he hoped that Cody could somehow sense his presence.

"I think we're going to head out," Kurt said after a little while, "We'll be back first thing in the morning."

Carey and Zack said goodbye, then returned to their vigil. Now they were sitting on opposite sides of the bed. They were each holding one of Cody's hands. They looked like they were playing tug-of-war.

'In a way we are playing tug-of-war,' Carey thought silently, 'Zack and I are pulling Cody in one direction and death is pulling him in the other.'

Neither Zack nor Carey slept in the spare bed that night. They both fell asleep in the chairs they were sitting in, never letting go of Cody.

Cody's POV

I'm tired. I feel weak and scared. Something's wrong. It's like I'm hanging from a cliff. It's getting harder and harder to hang on. I want to let go. But I don't because Zack doesn't want me to let go. So I hang on for him even though I'm scared… it's scary holding on because I don't know where I am. It's scary thinking about letting go because I don't know what will happen to me—and at least I have my brother with me right now. So I hold on even though it's really hard.

Zack kisses my forehead. I feel safe when I can feel him. But now he's leaving! Zack! Come back, please! I hate being alone. I want Zack… or somebody that I know. I'm so scared and it's even harder to hold onto whatever I'm holding onto when Zack and mom aren't here with me.

Zack comes back after a little while. Mom is here too. She and Zack talk to each other then Mom leaves and it's just me and Zack again. Zack holds my hand. He's worried about me. I wish he weren't—that makes me feel nervous again. I want Zack to tell me that everything will be fine.

"I know you're going to be okay," he says. But he doesn't believe himself. I want to believe him, but I don't know if I can.

Mom comes back and it is just the three of us for awhile…

Somebody else is here now. She touches my head. She's very gentle but it still hurts. It hurts so bad. I want her to stop! My dad and Samantha are here now. Everyone is talking about blood and stitches. Don't they know that there is somebody hurting me? For a second I thought that maybe they weren't in the same place as this person, but they have to be because they are talking to her. But nobody does anything to stop her. Oh my God, I can't believe how bad it hurts. It's like she's peeling my face off or something. I just want this to end.

When she finally finishes hurting my head she leaves. But she says she'll be back. I don't want her to come back.

Zack, Mom, Dad and Samantha stay with me.

Some more people are here now. There are two of them. They talk to my family. They say they want to help me. I am just about to trust them… but now they are taking me away! They are taking me away from Zack and everyone else! I want them to stop but they don't. Why isn't anyone stopping them? Zack do you want them to take me away? Doesn't he care that I'm leaving? Probably not—he never has a problem with leaving me alone.

… I am really scared now. I have no idea what's going on. I think those people are gone. I'm alone again. I feel sick. It's hard to feel anything at all. I'm fading…

I think I'm going to let go now… but I can't.

I feel Zack with me now. There are others too, but I don't know who they are and I don't care. It's hard to care now. It's hard to feel…

All of the sudden I feel like I'm drowning. I can't breathe! I'm suffocating! I think it's ending now. But…

Zack. I don't want to leave him. He wants me to breathe. I open my mouth and air gushes inside. I'm breathing more clearly than I have since I came to this strange place.

Zack is holding on to the sides of my head. For some reason it doesn't hurt as badly as it did when that other person did it.

It's my legs that hurt now—like somebody's pulling them. But it feels sort of good at the same time. It's like a workout almost.

I'm moving. Oh my God, somebody put their hands on me and physically moved me. Zack is touching me now. He helps me get back to where I was.

But I don't want to be here—wherever I am. I want to go home.

Zack and I are alone now. He stays with me until he falls asleep…

Mom is here. She says that she brought Grandma and Grandpa with her. It's not long before they are all arguing. I try to ignore them, but I can't. They are too loud… but not for long. They stop talking.

Now Dad is here with Samantha. All of the sudden everybody is fighting again. I want them to be quiet but they are so loud. I try to get them to be quiet but it doesn't work. I yell at them to stop, but only Zack is able to hear me.

He tries to comfort me by kissing my forehead and playing with my hair. He tells me that everything is okay.

But it's not okay. I—I think I'm dying. I don't want to die. I can't stop it.

I try to say good bye to Zack.

"I can't hold on," I tell him, "Everything hurts too much."

I don't want to leave him. But I have too, "I love you, Zack."

I don't think he understands what I said. He keeps on stroking my hair and he whispers, 'It's alright, it's alright, it's alright…"

He knows it isn't alright though. It's too loud.

For a second the screaming and fighting stop. Nobody is fighting anymore, thank God. It's completely silent for a few minutes, and then people start talking again. But the talking doesn't last long. Now they are all quiet. I like the silence, but there is tension in the air.

Zack is leaving. I don't understand why he doesn't want to be with me. Luckily for me, I'm not alone. Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa leave, but Dad and Samantha stay with me.

They talk to each other, then Samantha leaves.

Dad starts talking to me. He tells me that Zack and everyone else are downstairs, but they will be back soon. Then he groans. He sounds like he's mad at himself.

He takes my hand, then he starts talking to me again.

He tells me that he hasn't been around much because he and Mom don't get along. He says that he loves me and Zack and he wants us to be able to spend more time together. He kisses me and tells me that things will get back together.

Now he's holding my hand. It is quiet for a long time… Zack is here again. He tells Dad that he brought Max and Tapeworm with him.

He comes over to me and gently strokes my face.

"Hey, Cody," he says, "Max and Tapeworm are here to see you."

Tapeworm says hi to me. He sounds nervous and awkward.

Max doesn't say anything. Everybody's talking to her now. She doesn't answer her. Now everybody's frantic. I'm nervous. What's going on?

Max tells everyone that she is fine, and then she leaves abruptly.

"What was that all about?" Zack asks. He's nervous too.

Dad tells him that she probably just needs some time to herself. He tells them to give her a minute, then one of them can go check on her.

Tapeworm asks Zack if I can really hear them. Zack says he doesn't know.

I can hear you, Zack.

Tapeworm leaves to check on Max. Zack continues to stroke my cheek.

Mom comes in and tells us that Max and Tapeworm left with Tapeworm's mom. She kisses me. It's just me, Zack, Mom, and Dad.

I haven't been alone with my family for a long time. I like the feeling it gives me—Zack likes it too.

I'm not scared anymore. I'm starting to let go, and I'm not afraid of what is going to happen. I'm not scared for Zack anymore. He's happy now. He'll be okay. I wish I didn't have to leave him though. He probably won't understand. I hope that he'll accept it someday. It might take awhile, but eventually he'll be fine. Mom and Dad love him. They will take care of him once I'm gone. They'll be there for him.

I'm sorry, Zack. I love you, but it's time for me to go now.

I'm floating. I can still feel my family near me, but they are getting farther and farther away.

Samantha is with them now. Mom leaves, but she comes back with more people.

Zack leaves. No! Zack, come back! Please! I want you to be with me before it's all over! Please come back!

When he does come back I am very far away. We are fading away from each other. Dad and Samantha leave. Zack holds one of my hands and Mom holds the other. They don't want me to leave, but I have to. It's time for me to go. I try to say goodbye, but I don't think they heard me.

Mom, I love you. Thank you so much for taking care of me. I know you gave up a lot to raise Zack and me. Please be there for Zack when I'm gone.

I'm sorry I have to leave you, Zack. I wish we didn't fight so much—I'm sorry for the times I hurt you. I love you.

Goodbye Zack.

To Be Continued…

A/N: I have two things to say:

1 It might take me awhile to get the next chapter up. I'm doing some serious revisions to the end of my story. It will have the same outcome that I originally intended it to have, but I'm doing some different stuff to it because I was reading over it and the next few chapters are so boring, and I'm sure that nobody wants to read a boring story. It won't take me too long to get the next chapter up, because I'm only going to be changing a few things. I don't know how long it will take me to fix up the rest of them. It won't be longer than two weeks though, hopefully not even one week.

2 If anyone has some spare time on their hands (not too much of course) I think it would be awesome if you checked out my profile where it says "Volunteers Wanted". I've been working on this story, and I need some advice on it. It's not fan-fiction, but if anyone's interesting in like, critiquing it please pm me. And I will love you.

Please review!

Up Next: Chapter 20: Zack Remembers