I'm Right Here by Rose Haze

Disclaimer I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update.This is the first chapter that I had to write off the top of my head. I am going in a different direction than I originally planned. This chapter is going to be mostly about Carey, but I squeezed in a few brotherly love paragraphs that I cannot stop writing : )

> > > The pacing of this chapter is going to be different from the others. I felt like the story was dragging because I was writing every second that took place over the days. Let me know what you think about this compared to the other chapters :)

> > > Anyone who watches Days of our Lives or General hospital will realize that I am very uncreative when it comes to picking out names for random characters. So, yeah, that's my disclaimer for that :P

Chapter Twenty-One

A Small Voice

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." Aeschylus

Cody did make it through the night. Neither Carey nor Zack fell back to sleep. When the sun began to rise it was not long before Nurse Robin came in to do Cody's morning exercises. Zack stayed and helped, and Carey left the room to find Dr Harrison.

---

Carey slowly walked down the halls. Her head was reeling from the quick conversations she just had with Dr. Harrison.

Earlier that morning he and some other doctors ran some tests on Cody, and just as they feared, he was getting worse. He was still weak from what happened the night before. And they did some tests to see what level of activity his brain was on, and they were discouraged to see that Cody had been completely unresponsive until the very last test. He was not brain dead, but he was as close as he could be.

Tears filled Carey's eyes, 'Why is this happening to my son?'

She rounded the corner and entered Cody's hospital room. Zack was sitting on the chair next to his bed, reading to him. He made a trip to the hospital library when Cody was taken away for the tests.

"Hey, Mom," he said brightly when he saw her, "I've been reading this science book to Cody. It's about different kinds of medical discoveries from the twentieth century. It's actually kind of interesting. Did you know that penicillin is made from mold? And when people who are allergic to mold—"

"Zack," she interrupted him, "We need to talk about what happened last night."

He ignored her, "Robin told me that a lot of people read to coma patients. This seems like the kind of book that Cody would like, doesn't it?"

"Zack," she said again, "This is really important."

"Can you wait until I get to the end of the chapter?" he asked, "I think Cody really likes this."

Carey sighed, "I'll be back in a few minutes, and then we'll talk."

She closed the door behind her and went down the hall to get a cup of coffee. She thought about Zack. When he woke up that morning his attitude did a complete one eighty. He saw what happened the night before and considered it to be a miracle. He was more optimistic than ever that Cody would make a full recovery.

Carey poured herself some coffee and sat down in one of the sofas in the waiting room for that floor. She stirred in a packet of sugar. She thought about what Dr. Harrison told her. He gave her some pamphlets to look over but she could not bear to read them. She knew what they were about by looking at their titles which included: When to Pull the Plug and The Hardest Choice.

She had them tucked in her purse which was slung over her shoulder. She was just about to dig through it so she could throw the pamphlets away when a little girl sat beside her.

"Hi," she said, "I'm Lexie. Do you have a puppy?" (1)

Carey laughed, "No I don't. Do you?"

She nodded, her dark blonde pigtails bounced as she did so, "His name's Cupid. I share him with my brother but I might not have to do that anymore."

"Why's that?"

Lexie's big brown eyes clouded over, "His liver's broken and he might have to go to heaven."

Carey's breath caught and her stomach dropped. She hadn't meant to bring anything sad up, "I'm sorry to hear that," she said.

"I wanted to bring Cupid here to see him but Mommy said no. It's not fair. They miss each other."

"I'm sure they do," Carey whispered.

"That's why I have to be here," said Lexie, "Cause of Ricky. That's my brother. Is your brother sick and that's why you're here?"

"No," Carey said, smiling softly even though she was about to bring up Cody, "My son is hurt."

"Lexie, come on, stop bothering this nice lady."

Lexie and Carey looked up. A young woman with messy blonde hair was standing in front of them. She looked tired in her wrinkled clothes. It looked like she hadn't slept in days.

'I probably don't look much different,' Carey realized.

"She's not bothering me," Carey said, "I don't mind the company. You can join us."

The lady sat down and smiled graciously at her, "I've seen you around here these past few days," she told her, "My name is Celeste."

"I'm Carey."

"Her son got hurt," Lexie told her mother.

Celeste looked at Carey, "I'm sorry," she said, "How is he?"

"Not good," Carey admitted, "he was hit by a car. He's in a coma now."

Celeste nodded sadly, "How old is he?"

"Twelve."

"That's how old Ricky is!" said Lexie.

"Yes," agreed her mother, "He's going to be thirteen next month. We're waiting for a liver transplant."

"I hope you get one," Carey said sincerely. She felt a close bond with the woman who sat across from her. She obviously knew what she was going through.

"Thank you," she said, "And I hope everything works out for your son too."

The two of them talked for a little while longer, about the different ordeals that the two of them were going through. After a few minutes Celeste and Lexie left to go downstairs to Ricky's floor and Carey stood up and returned to Cody's room.

---

Zack finished up the chapter on medicinal discoveries and closed the book. His eyes hurt from reading the small print. He did not understand most of what he read to his brother, but what did make sense to him he found to be very interesting. He put the book on the small table beside the bed and held Cody's hands.

"I hope you liked that," he said to him, "There's a whole library of books for me to read to you, but hopefully you'll wake up soon and you can read them on your own. How does that sound?"

He waited for a reply that never came then sighed.

"You really scared me last night, Cody," he said, as tears sprang to his eyes, "It was the first time I realized that I really could lose you." He squeezed his brother's hand, "I'm not going to worry about that anymore though. I know you'll never leave me. You promised you would never hurt me again and you never break promises do you?"

He stared at Cody, looking past the wires and bandages and other equipment. He imagined that his pale cheeks were bright and rosy. He imagined that his hospital gown was a t-shirt and his favorite jeans. And he imagined for his closed eyes to open.

He scooted his chair closer to the bed and kissed Cody's forehead.

"I'm not going to break promises anymore either, Cody," he whispered, "I promise that when you wake up that I'm going to be a better brother."

The door to the room opened and Carey walked in.

"Your dad's still not here," she mused out loud.

"He said he would come sometime before noon," Zack reminded her.

Kurt and Samantha came to the hospital the night before after Cody's near death experience. They stayed for awhile then went back to the hotel.

"I know," she said, sitting down, "Now, I really need to talk to you."

Zack stroked Cody's arm, "About what?"

Carey sighed, wishing he would pay more attention to her. She hated what she was about to tell him. She wanted to protect him from the reality of the situation, but she knew that that was not possible.

"He's not doing well, Zack."

"He's going to be fine," Zack said defiantly, looking into her eyes, "I know he is."

"Zack," she pleaded.

"I don't want to hear it," he said, suddenly standing up, "Cody's going to be fine and I'm not going to let you tell me he's not." He walked to the door than stopped. He spun on his heel to face her.

"Leave," he whispered in a low, commanding voice.

Carey stood up and crossed the rooms. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him, "What did you just say to me?"

"Get out," he replied, not even wavering, "I'm tired of running away every time you piss me off. I want to be with Cody right now."

Carey's eyes flashed. Her hand tingled. She had never come so close to wanting to slap her own child. Instead she stared down at him with her stone cold eyes.

"If you ever speak to me like that again you can just get out. I did not raise you like this."

Neither of them moved.

"I am going to leave," she said, her voice was still dangerously low, "I'm telling myself that you are not thinking clearly because you are worried about Cody and you haven't been sleeping. Because I know that no son of mine would ever, ever speak to me like that."

She walked out of the room and returned to the waiting room where she collapsed into the sofa and began to cry. She hated this. She hated that Cody was suffering. And she hated what it was doing to her and Zack's relationship.

She reached into her purse to get her cell phone out, but her hands touched the pamphlets first. She stared at them without actually reading them.

She thought about Cody. She hated to see him suffering. She would have done anything to protect him—anything in the world. She thought back to something that happened many years before.

It was when they lived in Maryland. Zack and Cody were three years old. Even then they had their own distinct personalities, which had changed over the years, but not by a lot. Cody was the independent one. He was able to venture out and do his own thing, something that had not changed. Zack was the trouble maker of the two. He never liked to do anything without his brother. That also had not changed over the years.

Carey and Kurt agreed that the boys should not spend every single moment together. They wanted the twins to find their own identities. So every so often, they would split up and each of them would take one of them out for the day.

On this particular day, Carey took Cody to the park and Kurt took Zack to the swimming pool. After a long day of playing in the sun on the monkey bars and the swings, Carey took Cody home. On the way to the house, she stopped at the gas station. She took Cody inside so she could pay. She was just out the door when she heard the words that managed to stick with her for nine years.

"EVERYBODY FREEZE!"

Carey looked up and saw a man with a gun. He was holding it out in front of the cashier.

Everyone in the store did exactly what the gunman told them to do. They froze. Everyone except for Carey that is. She crouched down and through herself in front of Cody.

'I won't let him hurt my son,' she thought with determination.

What happened after that that was very anticlimactic. There just happened to be two police officers in the store who managed to get the situation under control, and arrest the gunman in a matter of minutes.

Carey was very shaken up after this, as was everyone else in the store. But one thing was certain. She knew without a doubt that she loved her children more than anything in the world. That day she proved to herself that she would do anything for them—even die.

A small voice snapped Carey out of her daydream.

"Why are you sad Carey?"

She looked down. Lexie was back.

"I'm just worried about my little boy," she told her, "Is your mother up here?"

"Yeah," Lexie replied. She pointed to Celeste who was walking toward them.

"Long time no see," Celeste joked. Then she saw Carey's tear stained cheeks, "Did something happen?"

"I just had a fight with my son," Carey said, wiping her tears away, "My other son."

Celeste nodded in understanding, "These are very stressful times," she paused, "Well, we'll leave you alone. We just came up here because Lexie left her doll. If you need to talk to anyone let me know."

Carey thanked her and watched them go. She headed back to Cody's room. She knew that Zack was probably still mad at her, but it was important that the two of them talked. Zack did not realize it, but he had a very big decision to make.

Carey sighed before walking back into the room. She did not want to upset Zack with the news, but he had to know the truth.

To Be Continued

A/N: Please review: ) Oooh, I'm writing a story with xfilesguy123 called Pain. Please review that too. And while you're at it, please review Surviving High School which I'm writing with Strawberry Finn. Okay, I think I've asked enough from you :P

Up next: Chapter 22 Truth