I'm Right Here by Rose Haze
Disclaimer I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Author's Note: Yeah, it has been about a month since I've updated. I have had very little time to be working on my stories though. Some of you know why, and that is also why this chapter was extremely hard for me to write, because it hit so close to home. But still, I'm really sorry it took me so long to get this up. I hope that my faithful readers are still with me despite how long I've been taking. Speaking of my faithful readers, the reviews I got for the last chapter were the best ever! I appreciate each and every one of them, and I hope I get some just like them for this chapter :P
Chapter Twenty-two
The Truth
"My scream got lost in a paper cup. Do you think there's a heaven where the screams have gone?"-Tori Amos
Kurt and Samantha came to the hospital after lunch. They met with Carey in the waiting room on Cody's floor. She was having coffee with Celeste while Lexie played on the floor.
Carey and Celeste stood up when the two of them approached, "This is my ex-husband, Kurt and his girlfriend, Samantha," she told Celeste. She turned to Kurt, "This is Celeste. Her son is staying in the hospital too."
The group made a round of 'hello's', then Celeste excused herself and Lexie and they left.
"We need to talk," Carey said. Her voice was void of any emotion. She knew had to be said, and she was going to get through it without crying. She pulled the two pamphlets out of her purse and handed one to Kurt and one to Samantha.
"Cody's not getting any better," she said brusquely, "I spoke with Dr. Harrison earlier today. He told me—"
"You want to take Cody off life support," Kurt said curtly, interrupting her.
At once, tears sprung to Carey's eyes, "I don't want him to suffer anymore. If—if we do this now, something positive can come out of this tragedy. According to the doctors Cody's hitting a plateau. Even if by some miracle he wakes up, he'll be a living vegetable."
Kurt inhaled a deep breath. He loved Cody and he wanted Cody to know that. He would never be able to tell him that if they pulled the plug now.
"There's no chance that he'll recover?" he asked in a defeated voice.
Carey bit her lip, "They won't give me any answers. I think there's a small chance, and as much as I don't want to give up hope…" she trailed off.
"We're being selfish keeping him alive," Kurt finished for her.
"Yes," Carey said. Tears fell freely down her face now, "It's unfair to Cody. And it's unfair to Zack. He's here everyday. He hasn't been to school or anything. He put his entire life on hold. And so have we. Cody wouldn't want us all to throw our lives away."
Kurt nodded, even though he felt that he didn't know Cody well enough to make that assumption. He looked at Carey and asked, "Have you told Zack?"
"No," she whispered, "I'm going to do that now."
"You're going to tell me what now?"
Carey turned around and saw Zack standing behind her. He was holding two of the books that he got out of the library for Cody.
"Zack," she said, surprised, "Are you finished reading already?"
"No," he answered, "One of the nurses is giving Cody a sponge bath. I just came out here to take a break."
Carey looked at Kurt and Samantha, "We'll be back," she told him, "I have to take Zack somewhere."
They nodded in understanding.
"Come on, Zack," she said, "We're going downstairs."
"No, I'm going back to Cody's room in a few minutes. They said it wouldn't take to long."
"Zackary, you are coming with me whether you like it or not," Carey snapped. She was still upset with him for how he was acting earlier that day. She wanted to be gentle as she broke the news to him, but at the same time, her patience with him was wearing very thin.
"Fine," he muttered, knowing that he was pushing it, "But I'm not staying for too long."
The two of them headed toward the elevator and went down to the floor below the one they were on. Celeste told her how to get to where she would be with Lexie and Ricky.
"I met a few people while we were here," told Zack, "a little girl and her mother. She has a son here too. He's waiting for a liver transplant."
"Mmhmm," Zack said impatiently. He wanted to get back to Cody's room, not listen to his mom talk about a bunch of strangers.
The elevator stopped. Zack followed Carey down a series of long halls.
"If you could describe Cody in one word, what would it be?" Carey asked him.
"I don't know," he replied as he stared at the floor, "He's a lot of things."
"That's right," she said, "He's smart, thoughtful, and compassionate."
'He's a good brother,' Zack thought silently, not wanting to talk to his mom, 'He's a good friend and a good person.'
"Good," he said out loud, "That's the word I'd use to describe him."
'That doesn't seem like enough. He's more than good.'
"He's very giving," Carey added. They turned another corner, "He cares about other people."
"I know that, Mom," Zack said in annoyance, "Can you get to the point?"
For once, Carey ignored his attitude, "Yes. We're here anyway."
Zack looked up. They were in front of a private room. Carey knocked on the door.
A little girl in pigtails with big chocolaty brown eyes opened the door.
"Hi, Carey!" she exclaimed, "Mommy! Ricky! Carey's here!"
There was a loud whirring sound coming from the room. Zack peered around the little girl and saw that there was a boy, just about his age and size, sitting in a chair, attached to a machine. He had light brown hair. He looked really tan compared to his mother and sister, then Zack noticed that it wasn't a tan that set him a part. His skin had a yellowy tint to it. He was really skinny.
"Hello," said the mother, "You must be Zack. I'm Celeste. This is Lexie," she motioned to the boy who was hooked up to the machine, "And this is Ricky."
"Hi," Zack said awkwardly.
Ricky weakly raised is hand, waving to him.
Zack looked at Carey and clenched his teeth. He was furious with her. She totally put him on the spot. He wanted to leave to be with Cody, but he couldn't just say that. It would look rude.
He stifled a sigh, and sat down as his mother and Celeste talked.
"I'm sorry about your brother."
Zack looked up at the sound of Ricky's voice.
"Uh, thanks," he said, "He-he's going to get better though."
Ricky nodded uncertainly.
Zack looked at the machine.
"My dialysis," Ricky explained.
"Oh," Zack said, embarrassed that he was caught starring He did not know what Ricky meant by "my dialysis" but he did not feel like asking.
"When is your brother getting better?" Lexie asked.
"I don't know," Zack replied. He wondered how they knew about Cody in the first place. He assumed that their moms must have talked about it or something.
They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes until Carey broke it.
"Zack, do you want to go back and see Cody now?" she asked.
"Yeah," Zack said, leaping up to his feet. Immediately, he felt self-conscious doing so. He knew that Ricky probably couldn't do that. He turned to Ricky.
"I guess I'll see you later," he said.
"Bye."
Zack and Carey left the room.
"What was that all about?" Zack asked once they were out of the room.
"I just wanted you to meet Ricky," she explained, "I wanted you to see someone who is in need of a new organ."
"Why?" he asked apprehensively, not liking where there conversation was headed.
The two of them entered a small tearoom, "Let's sit down, Zack."
"No."
Carey sat down in one of the chairs in the room. There was another one facing it.
"Come on, Zack."
"I want to go be with Cody."
Again, Carey pulled the pamphlets out of her purse, "Zack, Dr. Harrison gave me these to look over."
Zack looked at the pamphlet, "When to pull the plug," he read out loud. He looked up at Carey, shaking with disbelief, "No," he whispered, "No, you can't do this to him! I won't let you!"
"Honey, calm down," she said, "Let's talk about this."
"I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" he screamed.
"We don't have to do it right away. We can discuss it first and wait and see if he makes any major changes, but Zack, we at least have to think about what would be best for Cody. And what would be best for other people. We can donate his organs—"
Zack covered his ears. He knew he was being immature doing this, but he didn't care.
"No," he whispered, "I'm not going to listen to you. He's going to get better."
"Zack,"
"HE'S GOING TO GET BETTER! YOU AREN'T KILLING HIM! YOU AREN'T TAKING HIS ORGANS JUST SO YOU CAN GIVE THEM TO YOUR STUPID NEW FRIEND!"
He threw the pamphlet at her, "I HATE YOU!" he exclaimed, "I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS!"
Carey stood up. His words stung, but she knew she could not believe them.
"Zack, he can save lives this way," she said, trying to keep the tears in, "If we leave him the way he is he may never wake up."
"Or he could wake up tomorrow and we'll never know that because you had to kill him."
"He's not going to wake up tomorrow, Zack." She put her hands on his shoulders.
"Don't touch me!" he cried, pushing her away. He started crying a little harder. It was hard to breathe
Ignoring him, she stepped closer.
"Get away from me."
"Please don't do this, Zack."
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" he shouted again, "I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOU!"
He stopped, unable to speak through the wrenching sobs. He tried to push his mom away again, but he had no strength left. He crumpled to the floor and dissolved into a mess of tears.
Carey knelt beside him. She gathered him in her arms. He resisted at first, then leaned against her, sobbing.
"I don't want him to die," he managed to get out.
Carey rested her head on top of his. She rubbed his back and held him close to her, "I know. Neither do I."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she whispered, "Don't worry about it now."
"Please don't take him off life support, Mom," he begged, his voice came out in shaky gasps.
She kissed the top of his head, "We'll talk about it later."
He wiped the tears from his eyes, only to have more form and run down his face.
Carey held Zack there for awhile. She comforted him as he cried. He did not say anything else after that. She wished that there was something that she could do to help him cope. She knew that he was accepting the fact that he was losing Cody.
"Mom?"
Carey shifted slightly and looked at him.
"Is there really no chance that he'll get better?"
"Dr. Harrison told me that there was no way he would allow Cody to be taken off life support unless there was."
Zack sighed, "Can I go see him? Cody I mean, not Dr. Harrison."
"Yeah," Carey said, helping him to his feet, "I want to see him too."
They went back upstairs to Cody's room. Kurt and Samantha were in there, standing on one side of the bed. Zack went to the other side of the bed and picked up Cody's hand.
"Kurt, Samantha, can I talk to you outside for a second?" Carey asked. She wanted to give Zack a minute alone with Cody.
Zack smiled softly at her, silently thanking her. When he was alone he sat down in a chair.
"I'm back, Cody," he kissed his cheek, "I have to ask you something. I know you can't answer me, but that's okay. Um, is this okay? What we're doing to you? Or would it be better if we"—he stopped, tears caught in his voice—"would it be better if we let you go?"
He looked at Cody. He traced his finger across his soft, pale face, wanting to memorize everything about him.
"Are you there Cody?" he asked, desperately, "Please, if you're in there, give me a sign."
He waited for a second and nothing happened. He picked up Cody's hand again, "Cody, I love you. You're my best friend, and if it would be better for you if you—if you died, then I can accept that. It'll be hard, but I'll accept that." He squeezed Cody's hand, "I don't know what to do," he said, his voice rising, "I need your help deciding what to do. Please—we've been able to communicate without words before. And you always know what to do. Can you just give me a hint? Find a way to help me."
He stared at his brother's face.
His eyelids fluttered.
"Oh my God," Zack whispered. He stroked Cody's cheek, "Cody?" he asked, "Cody? Are you awake?"
Nothing happened. Zack's heart sank. He'd let his hopes go up again.
He buried his face in his hands and cried. Why won't he just wake up?
He stopped crying immediately. Cody might not have awakened, but his eyes did flutter…
'...right after I asked him to give me a sign.'
To Be Continued…
A/N Please review
Up next: Chapter Twenty Three Untitled as of Now
