I'm Right Here by Rose Haze

Disclaimer I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

In place of the customary author's note, I give you a conversation between me and my schizophrenic friend, Calhoun.

Calhoun says, "First of all, Rose, you are the schizo—that's why I'm here, remember?" "Must we muddy the water with details?" I ask him.

"We must."

"Well, fortunately we don't have time for that," I remind him, " have to apologize to all of my readers for not updating in forever."

"Even though you promised you would." Calhoun interrupts.

"I had work!"
Calhoun rolls his eyes, "You sit in an air conditioned box all day and eat ice cream! That's not a job and that's not an excuse."

"I had to baby-sit the twins!" I cry out in defense.

"Once."

" I have summer reading!"

"You've already read both books," he points out.

"Well, I had to go over them…"

Fed up, Call says, "Nobody wants to hear your excuses, Rose. If they clicked the link that brought them here, they want to read the chapter—not a fake conversation."

Good point. The chapter is below!

Chapter 24

Brothers

"I'm losing my sight, losing my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine" –Papa Roach

The bright sun, warm weather, and chirping birds painted a cheerful background in the courtyard of St. Lucia Memorial Hospital. The bright green grass was freshly cut. The flowers in the gardens were watered and thriving, a menagerie of colors and fragrance hid the sharp thorns.

In the center of the courtyard, in the midst of nature's beauty, Kurt Martin held his son in his arms. Zack cried for awhile, whispering "he's not gone," over and over again, until finally he seemed to give up and fell limp in his father's hold.

Kurt carried Zack back to the hospital and his mind seemed to travel in reverse. He remembered carrying his sons to bed when they were very young. He glanced down at Zack in his arms. His thick eyelashes were clumped together with tears. His face was red from crying. Every so often a jagged sob would interrupt his even breathing, a faint memory from his breakdown.

Kurt stepped inside and was engulfed by the cool air conditioning. He took the elevator upstairs to Cody's room. His body was sagging with Zack's weight.

He stirred.

"Where am I?" he mumbled without opening his eyes.

"We're in the elevator," Kurt replied.

Zack opened his eyes and made a motion signaling he wanted to be put down. He was confused for a second. He did not even realize he had fallen asleep.

The elevator stopped and they got out.

"I want to see Cody," Zack said defiantly, "I want to be alone with him."

Kurt rested his hand on Zack's shoulder, "I'm sure that'll be okay."

They turned the corner and began to walk down another hall just in time to see Samantha walking quickly in their direction, with tears in her eyes.

'No,' Zack thought frantically when he saw that she was crying, 'Cody...'

His heart sped up and he felt light headed all of the sudden.

Kurt caught her by the shoulders, "What happened?" he demanded.

"I've had enough of that bi—," she stopped herself and looked at Zack, "Of your ex-wife," she finished icily.

Kurt sighed, "Sam, what happened?"

Zack leaned against the white wall and closed his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and felt his heartbeat go back to normal.

"I'm going to Cody's room," he said quietly, more to himself than to Samantha and his dad. He continued down the hall, hearing their voices get quieter and quieter as he got closer to Cody's room. Once he got there he opened the door and walked in.

His mom was sitting there, holding Cody's hand. She was wearing the same red shirt she had been wearing since the day before. Her hair was sticking out in some places and her face looked tired and old.

Zack sat down next to her, "Did you have a fight with Samantha?" he asked her.

Carey looked up, "No we just—have you been crying?"

He shrugged, "That's all I ever do anymore."

A thin smile appeared on Carey's lips. It was void of happiness and amusement and everything else that a smile should have.

"Do you want to sit with him?" she asked, "I should take a shower and get cleaned up."

"It's almost time for dinner," Zack said, donning his own emotionless smile, "Shouldn't you have thought about that a little earlier?"

She kissed the top of his head, "You know who you're starting to sound like?"

"Who?"

"You."

Zack thought about that, 'I really haven't been myself lately,' he realized.

"I'll be back in a little while," Carey said, not waiting for a reply, "Maybe you and I can get some supper after that. Mrs. King dropped off a casserole earlier today. We can heat it up."

Zack took her seat when she left.

"Hi, Cody," he whispered, "it's me."

He picked up Cody's hand and brought it to his cheek. His stomach clenched as he looked at him. Cody had been smart—brilliant even, before the accident. Now he did not even have control over his own body.

"Cody," Zack whispered desperately, "please don't leave me."

He thought about all the times the shared—the good and the bad. He remembered sliding down staircases, playing their music too loud, running through the halls of the Tipton and getting into trouble. He remembered the times that Cody helped him with his homework—sometimes willingly and sometimes not. He remembered beating him at video games and basketball.

Tears stung Zack's eyes.

'It'll never be like that again,' he forced himself to realize, 'even if a miracle happens and Cody does wake up it's not going to be the same.'

He closed his eyes.

"Hey, Cody," he said, his voice shaking, "You wanna to go downstairs?"

"No, Zack," he said, raising his voice to a higher pitch, "You're just going to do something to get us in trouble again."

"Come on," he said coaxingly, in his regular voice, "We'll only get in trouble if we get caught. And that's not going to happen.

He heightened his pitch again, "but it always happens."

"But I have this awesome idea. We're going to take all the inner tubes from the pool and bring them outside and use them as a trampoline to—,"

"Stop, stop," he said in the higher voice, "Zack you're crazy…"

He blinked. 'I am crazy.'

"Oh my God," he buried his face in his hands, dropping Cody's in the process, "First sign of going crazy? Talking to yourself."

'Maybe it's not so crazy,' he reasoned, 'At least I know that I can hear. Everybody's been talking to Cody and we don't know if he can hear us.'

He picked up Cody's hand again and stroked his palm with his hand, "Can you hear me, Cody?"

More tears sprang to Zack's eyes as he patiently waited for a reply, "I miss you, Code. I miss talking to you. Remember all those nights we stayed up late just talking?"

'Please answer,' he begged silently as the tears began to fall, 'please Cody...'

He sniffed and wiped the tears away, "I'll be right back, brother," he whispered. He kissed his forehead, "I have to tell you something, I just—I want to get it right."

He squeezed Cody's hand, "I'll be right back," he said again.

As quickly as he could he ran down the halls to the waiting room. Luckily there were not any doctors, nurses, or orderlies there at that time to yell at him to slow down. When he got to the waiting room he hurried passed his dad and Samantha, who looked like they were having a very serious conversation, and went straight to the receptionist's desk.

"Can I borrow a pen and a piece of paper?" he asked, panting.

The receptionist looked up, "Of course, dear," she said, handing him what he asked for, "bring the pen back whenever you're finished with it."

"Thanks," Zack said. He ran back to Cody's room.

He went over to the small table that was in there and sat down in front of it. He stared at the blank piece of paper, and brought the tip of the pen to the top of the gleaming white page. And like magic, the page began to fill. The words spilled out of his pen like sand from an hourglass.

Zack didn't tell many people, but he really liked to write. He wasn't very good at writing papers for school or making up stories, but he could always write down his feelings. Sometimes when his problems got too big for his head, he would grab a pen and solve them on paper. It helped him a lot when his mom and dad got divorced, and then when they started moving all the time. Cody had suggested that Zack start writing in a journal like he did, but Zack said it would be too much like homework.

After about twenty minutes, Zack still had plenty left to write, but unfortunately there was not enough room. He had written all over the page—front and back. He even used the margins.

'Too bad the page was so small,' he thought as he put the cap on the pen.

"Okay," Zack said as he returned to his seat beside Cody, "I'm ready now."

He folded the paper in half and set it on the bed, "There's so much I want to say to you, Cody," he said, "I want you to be awake to hear it, but since you aren't I'll just say it now."

He picked the paper up again, and began to read.

To Be Continued…

A/N Please review!

Up next: Chapter Twenty Five The Letter