A/N: Thanks for reviewing! I apologize once again for making you wait. You know when you reach that point where you're so busy that you completely forget that something as great as fanfiction exists? Yeah, I had reached that point. But I'm back now! :) Again, sorry. I hope that you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Same.

Chapter 9 – It's Darker and Much Harder to Be Me

Reid stormed through the emergency entrance of Georgetown University Hospital, with JJ, Garcia, Elle's mother and Vincent following closely behind him. He stopped running when he saw Morgan. "How is she?" He asked his close friend breathlessly.

Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder. "She's fine. They're putting her in a room; they want her to stay overnight."

"Did you tell them she was pregnant?" Reid asked concerned.

Morgan nodded, "Yeah man."

Reid breathed a sigh of relief as he saw a doctor walking towards their large group. She was tall and thin with long, blonde hair. "I'm Dr. Kelly Accardo. We have Ms. Greenaway in a room now. She was slightly dehydrated, so we put her on an IV. She has a nasty bump on her head, but no concussion. We're keeping her over night because her test results will not be back until tomorrow afternoon. She was exhausted when she came in. She's sound asleep now but you can go in and see her if you want, in twos please." She smiled at them before she turned and led them towards Elle's hospital room.

Reid walked alongside Morgan. "What test results, they can't find out anything about the baby because…"

Morgan cut him off, "She asked for a rape kit."

Reid stopped walking. "What?" He squeaked out.

"She insisted because she was unconscious for a while." Morgan patted him on the back supportively. "Come on man."

They continued walking down the hallway until the doctor stopped. "Try not to wake her, okay?" They all nodded and she smiled once again before she left.

Reid graciously let Elle's mother and Vincent see her first as he paced back and forth with his hands in his pockets. JJ and Garcia hugged him caringly before they left with Hotch and Gideon, but they all promised that they would be back to see her tomorrow. Morgan stayed with Reid until Elle's family came out and then he left, also promising that he would be back tomorrow.

Elle's mother's eyes were red and puffy; it was very easy to tell that she had been crying. He hoped that it had been tears of joy at being able to see her only daughter again. "Are you staying the night, Spencer?" She asked. Her voice was shaking. Reid simply nodded and gave her a small smile. "Good, she needs somebody. We'll be back first thing tomorrow morning." She kissed Reid on the cheek and Vincent gave him a firm hand shake before they left. Reid could tell that Vincent still didn't like him, but at least now he could see that he loved Elle dearly.

Reid took a deep breath before he slowly opened the door to her room and stepped quietly inside. He smiled as he saw that she was sleeping peacefully. However, he also noticed the bandages on her wrists, ankles, and forehead, and the dark circles under her eyes. But she still looked absolutely beautiful.

But he had also never seen her look so vulnerable…and fragile. It was something that was very foreign to him. Elle was strong and independent. She liked to do things on her own and she had been taking care of herself since she was a teenager. But lying in the small hospital bed, it was like she was his beloved, porcelain doll that he had to protect.

He walked over and took a seat in the chair on the left side of her bed. He lightly placed her hand in his and caressed it lovingly. "I love you so much," he began to talk to her softly as she slept. "I hate how it took almost losing you to realize that I couldn't live without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He smiled and gently kissed her small, delicate hand before he leaned back in his chair, content with watching her sleep.

He was just starting to doze when Elle bolted up in her hospital bed. She was crying. He immediately got up out of his chair and took both of her hands in his. "Hey, hey, it's only me, its okay," he used his soft voice to comfort her.

She turned towards him, just realizing where she was and who was with her. She looked into his saddened brown eyes. "Spencer," her voice was low and uneven. He nodded before she asked helplessly, "Can you just hold me?" He nodded quickly as she moved over to make room for him in the hospital bed. She lay back down in the bed and he lay next to her. He wrapped his arms cautiously around her but once she wrapped hers tightly around his waist he pulled her as close to him as possible. He ran his hand slowly through her hair as she sobbed uncontrollably into his chest.

"Oh, it's okay," he said soothingly before he kissed her tenderly on the top of the head. He had a feeling that she was releasing a lot of pent-up emotions.

She began to cry even harder as she tried to form sentences. "…just…sso…th…that…here…" was all that he managed to pick out.

"What?" He asked quietly.

She looked up at him and laughed lightly as she stroked the place on his dress shirt where she had been crying. "Now I have your shirt all wet."

He laughed. "That's okay. I don't mind."

She snuggled into his chest as she said, "I'm so happy that you're here. I feel so safe with you."

He paused for a moment as he wasn't sure if it was an appropriate time to bring it up. "Elle, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when…"

She cut him off, "Its okay, it was bound to happen eventually, you heard him," she tucked her hair behind her ears awkwardly. "He'd been stalking me for eight months."

"Well, I'm never letting go of you ever again." He wrapped his arms tighter around her small frame.

"Spencer," she started slowly.

"Yeah," he smiled; he loved the way that she said his name.

"What kind of FBI agent am I?" She asked insecurely.

"What?" He asked confused.

She looked up at him and he could tell that she was going to cry again. "How am I supposed to save other peoples' lives when I didn't even know that one of my neighbors had been stalking me for the past eight months?" That was what was bothering her more than anything else. How had she not felt him watching her? How had she not seen the signs? It was what she was trained to do.

"Elle…"

She cut him off, "Hold on, I need to tell you this. This whole thing with Ken didn't even worry me, to be honest. I was just concerned about you and our baby. But," she swallowed hard and wiped her tired eyes.

"What is it?" He asked curiously. "You can tell me," he stated sincerely.

She smiled softly and tenderly caressed his cheek. "I know." She swallowed again. "It just brought back a lot of memories and a lot of flashbacks that I really wasn't prepared to have." He knew that she was talking about what they had uncovered in her file but he wasn't going to push her for details. He was going to let her tell him at her own pace. "I thought that I had locked them away and then, boom, there they were, and it was terrifying. In comparison, Ken didn't even make me blink. It was like I was reliving when I was nineteen all over again. I was a completely different person back then and I really didn't wanna go back, and I hate him for making me do that!"

He began to rub her back again as her tears returned. He wanted to stay here and hold her and love her but a small part of him wanted to leave and tear Ken Decker limb from limb. He sweetly kissed her forehead. "Shhh, its okay. You're here with me now."

She laughed darkly. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" As he looked down at her with a slight frown she said, "I adore you, Spencer."

He kissed the top of her head once again. "And I love you…and our baby."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she declared in a whisper.

He smiled as he was slightly surprised by her revelation. But his heart practically fluttered in triumph. "Good, because like I said, I'm never letting you go."

She cuddled into him even more. "The first time was horrifying," she said changing the topic.

"The first time?" Again, he had a feeling that she was referring to the contents of her file.

"Nineteen," she paused and looked up at him. "I'm assuming that you guys had to open my file."

He blushed guiltily even though he was prepared for her question. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry that I lied to you." He looked at her confused. "That time in New York right before we started dating, when you asked me why I specialized in sex crimes, I lied to you." She started to speak, her sentences were short and her voice was shaky but concentrated. "I was nineteen and I trusted him." He instinctively held her closer; she was finally opening up to him. "He was Dad's partner and he was so good to Mom after Dad died. He helped us out a lot."

"It was a weekend in late April; I was studying at home for final exams. Anthony was away at Yale. Robert was working. Andrew was playing football with his buddies. Ben had taken Rafa to the park. Mom was away with Vincent at a hockey tournament in Buffalo. I was upstairs in my room. I heard a knock on the door. I answered it and it was him." She stopped; she could still picture him and hear his voice as if it had happened yesterday. "He asked me if my mother was home and I said no. So he said, 'All by yourself then?' I nodded and smiled. I said that I was studying for finals. He smiled and then his eyes turned cold and he grabbed me by the arm. He hauled me outside and forced me into the back of his van. He pinned me down. He was much stronger than I was. I was skinny and weak. I struggled and screamed as he ripped my clothes off. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a New Kids on the Block t-shirt. He stood up to take his pants off. I tried to getaway but he kicked me hard in the stomach and pushed me back down. He ripped my underwear off as he told me that he had been, 'Waiting for me to develop since I was a little girl.' I screamed as loud as I could. I tried to push him off of me but he just slapped me hard across the face. Then he raped me. He told me to put my clothes back on and go back in the house as if nothing had happened. I went straight to the hospital and then to the police station."

"When we went to court my lawyer told the jury that they found his DNA…" she screwed up her face in repulsion, "…in me. He said," she paused; she could still hear his voice inside her head even after all these years. "That I wanted it. The jury believed him because he had been a police officer for more than half his life. He was found not guilty and he walked. My mother was devastated. My brothers couldn't look at me the same for over a year. Andrew took it harder then the rest because of his temper." When she finished she immediately began to sob again.

He stroked her back relaxingly. "Go to sleep love, you're exhausted. I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise." She looked up at him and he read the silent question in her eyes. "Where else am I gonna go? Sleep." He kissed her forehead softly and lay awake as she cried herself to sleep in his arms.

A/N: So, that was vulnerable Elle. What do you think? Review!! :)