I'm Right Here by Rose Haze
Disclaimer I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Author's Note: Okay. This is kind of important. I want everyone who is reading this to know that this website is the ONLY place where I have posted this story. It has been brought to my attention that someone (or someones) has been posting my stories in the official Dylan and Cole Sprose fan club. This is being done without my permission. If the person who has been doing this is reading this right now, I am asking you to stop.
Oh, and many thanks to In NYC for letting me know about the issue mentioned above.
On to a happier note, here's chapter twenty-six! It's one of the longest chapters so far. And I think I've worked out my issues so expect updates to be more frequent!
Oooh! Shout-out to XxLeDuhxX who left me my 600th review!
Chapter 26
The Battle of St. Lucia
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." –Benjamin Franklin
A trail of leftover tears slid down Zack's face. He was still sitting in the chair by Cody's bed. He cried for over an hour after Cody came so close to waking up, only to slip back into his own world where he could not be touched.
But Zack was not crying anymore. He didn't have the energy to. But still, tears leaked out of his eyes, his lips shook, and every so often he would let out one lonely sob.
Zack stared at his brother with sore, bloodshot eyes. Cody did not look any different than he had earlier that day, but something didn't feel right to Zack. There was something different about the way he seemed.
"Cody," he whispered, picking up his hand, "what's going on?"
Zack swallowed, feeling a sense of dread. For the past few days whenever he was with Cody he felt something. He was not sure what that feeling was, but it was there, letting Zack know that hope was not lost. It gave him the confidence to believe that Cody would be okay. And now there was nothing.
Zack squeezed Cody's hand, "Don't do this to me, Code," he said, his voice shaking, "Please don't leave me, Cody."
And he started crying again, so suddenly that he surprised himself. His entire body convulsed as if he were having a seizure, and he could not catch his breath. The back of his throat ached. A lonely cry resonated through the room as tears streamed down his face. He realized just how alone he would be without Cody.
-----
"This is Trevor's favorite," Mrs. King told Carey as she handed her a covered dish of pasta, "Just heat it up with the mushroom sauce. I know it sounds weird, but I've never had any complaints about the taste. And the carbs will be very energizing.
"Thank you," Carey said, forcing herself to smile.
Mrs. King looked at her with sympathetic eyes, "How are Zack and Cody?"
Carey raised her eyebrows. Nearly everyone who came to the hospital asked her about Cody. But not everyone realized that Zack was suffering too.
"Zack's miserable," she confided, "this has been so hard on him. And Cody," she paused, her eyes misting up, "Well, Cody's holding on."
"That's good," Mrs. King said, nodding, "and how are you holding up?"
More tears built up in Carey's eyes, "I-I don't know."
Mrs. King set the dishes down and took Carey's hand, "It's never easy for a mother to see her child in pain."
Carey shook her head and bit her lip, forcing her eyes to lock in her tears.
"It's okay to cry," Mrs. King said softly.
"No," Carey choked out, "I've already cried too much. I have to be strong—for Zack."
"Zack's not here right now."
Carey laughed and a few tears escaped, "You're right," she said, "Zack's with Cody. He's always with Cody," the pitch of her voice rose as she struggled against her battle with the tears, "He just sits there, holding Cody's hand and talking to him--," she stopped, her voice catching, "He-he just sits there, waiting for Cody to wake up. But from what the doctors are saying, he's probably n-never going to. And no matter how many times I try to tell Zack, he refuses to hear any of it."
Mrs. King patted Carey's shoulder, "he's staying positive."
Carey nodded and wiped her eyes, "And that's a good thing—except if Cody—if he," she shook her head again and bit down on her lip. She could not let those words out. IF she kept them to herself maybe they wouldn't come true. But if she said it out loud it would become too real.
Mrs. King looked at her. She had tears in her eyes too, "go on."
Carey took a deep breath and continued in a low voice, all the while thinking, 'if I say it quietly enough it might not come true.'
"If Cody dies Zack won't be okay. He-he's not okay as it is. But if he loses Cody, a part of him will be lost too. And he's so adamant in believing that everything's going to be fine. If he dies now—," she broke off, "If he dies now I'm scared about what might happen to Zack."
She took a tissue and wiped her eyes, "I can't lose both of them."
For a few minutes, neither of them spoke. They thought about what Carey said.
"Does having their father here help at all?" Mrs. King asked, breaking the silence, "for Zack, I mean."
Carey laughed bitterly, "For Zack maybe. But in the end it will probably do more harm than good. Kurt's not a very dependable person. When things start getting too rough, he bails," she sighed, "he hasn't even seen the boys for years. Who knows how much more time would have passed if this hadn't happened," she rolled her eyes, "and to top off this lovely visit, he brought that ditzy child with him."
"Maybe he just wants to make you jealous," Mrs. King offered.
"I wouldn't put it passed him," Carey said, "The only person Kurt cares about is Kurt. He doesn't care about who he hurts as long as he gets what he wants."
Mrs. King pursed her lips together, "no wonder he makes such a great lawyer."
"He's not that great of a lawyer," Carey said quickly, without skipping a beat, "he's working in some second rate firm that mostly handles small claim cases."
Carey ran her hand through her short hair, trying not to look as guilty as she felt. She knew that what she was saying about Kurt was not entirely true. But she couldn't help it. Somehow talking with Mrs. King was reverting her back to some trash talking teenager.
Mrs. King realized that they were beginning to take things too far, "Well it's good that he's here now," she said neutrally.
Instead of listening to her conscience and taking the mature route of exiting the conversation that Mrs. King had paved, Carey dug in even deeper, "Seriously, the doctors told us that Cody would most likely respond to positive reinforcement. But if he knows that Kurt's here that's more of a reason for him not to wake up. And don't even get me started on that little witch, Samantha."
As soon as the words left her mouth, Carey regretted them and wished that she could drink them back in. She knew in her heart that neither Kurt nor Samantha were half as bad as she was making them out to be. In fact—although she would barely admit it to herself—having them there had been a big help.
Mrs. King cocked an eyebrow, "I'm sure it's not that bad," she reasoned.
Just as Carey was about to agree with her and apologize for her outburst, she heard an angry voice from behind her.
"Or is it that bad, Carey?"
Carey's heart sank as she turned around to face her ex-husband.
"I should go," Mrs. King said quickly, "I'll be in touch soon."
Carey said goodbye to Mrs. King then spun to face Kurt. Samantha was standing there with him, looking indignant.
"You were eavesdropping, Kurt? How very mature of you."
"Of me?" he exclaimed, "you were sitting here, insulting me loud enough for anyone to hear, and I'm the immature one?" He shook his head, his eyes blazing, "You haven't changed at all, have you? You're still the same old Carey. Nothing's ever your fault."
Carey's blood ran cold, "Don't go there, Kurt."
"You're always the victim. It was my fault you never made it as a musician because I got you pregnant. It was my fault that our marriage broke apart. I was never around so you just had to cheat, right?"
"Kurt--,"
"And now you're saying it's my fault that Cody might not wake up. What's next? Was it my fault that Cody got hit by the car? Cause I hate to break it to you, honey, but you were the one who was late picking him up."
Samantha gently placed her hand on Kurt's shoulder, "Kurt, calm down."
"You know what else is my fault?" he roared, ignoring Samantha, "The fact that you've never found anyone else. The fact that no other man has ever wanted you? My fault!"
Carey's mouth dropped open slightly, "Well you don't see me shacking up with a bunch of underage gold-diggers, do you?"
"Yeah, that's because you make minimum wage and live in a hotel," Samantha retorted.
"Nice," Carey laughed, "You just had to defend yourself with such a witty remark."
Samantha blinked coolly, "That's hardly what I would call defending myself. Kurt knows that I love him—for who he is. And he loves me. That's all that matters, Carey. And I'm not going to waste my time defending our relationship to his jealous ex-wife."
"That's fine with me," Carey snapped, "The less I hear of your voice the better."
Kurt was shaking his head, "You know what?" This is exactly why I'm never around! Because you act like this! Nothing in the world is worth putting up with you."
"How can you say that?" Carey asked in a low voice, "We may hate each other, Kurt, but don't even say that about our children."
Kurt massaged his temples, "And now everything's my fault again."
Samantha slid her hand to Kurt's side, "We don't have to listen to this, Kurt," she said defiantly, "we can just go."
Kurt ignored her again, "You'd like that, wouldn't you Carey?" he taunted, "You would just love for us to leave. Then you can explain to Zack and Cody why Daddy doesn't want them anymore; again. You can be the martyr again."
"I never—you know I would never say anything like that."
"I don't know you," he said, his voice rising, "Because the woman I married fourteen years ago never would have brainwashed my children to turn against me. That woman doesn't exist anymore"
"I did nothing to turn the boys against you!" Carey screamed, "You did that! You were never there!"
"WELL LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHENEVER WE SEE EACH OTHER!"
Samantha rested her hand on Kurt's shoulder, "Baby, please," she said in her gentlest voice, "don't say anything you're going to regret."
"Not now, Sam," he said. He glanced in her direction, fully intending to continue his screaming match with Carey, but something in Samantha's expression made him stop.
He sighed, "Come on," he said, slipping his hand into hers, "Let's tell Zack that dinner's here."
Together they walked down the hall, leaving Carey alone.
------
Zack stopped crying almost as suddenly as he started. The blood that ran through his veins was laced with apathy.
'Cody's gone, Cody's gone, Cody's gone. He's never coming back. He's not waking up.'
"Cody's gone," he whispered. He said it again, with more force in his voice, "Cody's gone."
He stared at Cody, watching him breathe. Zack stared at him until he didn't see Cody anymore. He saw a body, a shell. Nothing.
Zack dropped the body's hand, stood up, and left the room.
He heard voices as he walked down the deserted hall. It sounded like people were fighting. He paused at the door of the waiting room.
"defending our relationship to his jealous ex-wife."
Zack squirmed uncomfortably. That was Samantha's voice.
"That's fine with me! The less I hear of your voice the better!"
'And that would be Mom.'
Zack sighed. He knew that it wouldn't be long before Samantha and his mother's arguments turned ugly. But strangely, he didn't give a damn. He placed his hand on the doorknob, 'They're embarrassing themselves,' he thought irritably, 'Somebody needs to tell them to shut up!'
But what he heard next stopped him in his tracks.
"This is exactly why I'm never around!" His father yelled, "Because you act like this! Nothing in the world is worth putting up with you!"
An army of emotions broke through his wall of apathy and bled down the cracks like tears. Zack rested his forehead against the door of the waiting room. He heard the yelling and the screaming, but the words did not register.
'Nothing in the world is worth putting up with you.'
Zack tried to catch his breath as he remembered all the Christmases and birthdays that he celebrated without his father there. A card or a phone call would come days later, explaining that he had been too busy. Or he couldn't afford to take off work. Or there had been an emergency.
'But that wasn't why—it was because I wasn't worth it.'
Tears ran down Zack's cheeks. He blindly staggered down the hallway, knowing that he had nowhere to go.
Moments later he found himself back at the door to Cody's room. He slid down the back of it. He leaned against the closed door and hugged his knees to his chest, sobbing uncontrollably.
'Cody's gone. Dad doesn't think I'm worth anything... am I worth anything?'
Zack's eyes popped open. He thought about the day of Cody's accident. What had he done that day?
'I bossed Cody around. I made fun of him. I caused trouble at the Tipton with the guests. I cost mom part of her paycheck. I made her late to Cody's meeting.'
At that thought, Zack no longer cared about what passersby would think when they saw him. He lay down, curled up in a ball, and cried. He cried like he had been all day—with harsh, wrenching sobs coming up from deep within.
"Zack! Zack, buddy, what's wrong?"
Zack opened his eyes and saw his father crouching beside him. He put his hands on Zack's shoulder.
"Get off me," Zack growled.
"What's wrong?" Kurt repeated, "Is Cody…"
"Why do you care?" he spat.
"Zack," Kurt said in a confused, wounded tone, "sit up."
He shot to his feet, "Don't tell me what to do!"
Samantha went to him, "Why are you crying, Zack?"
Zack whirled around and stared at his father, "is she worth it?"
Kurt screwed up his face, thoroughly confused, "What? What are you talking about?"
"How come you never visit us?" he asked wildly.
Kurt sighed, "It's complicated, Zack."
"I hate you," Zack whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear.
"What?"
"I HATE YOU!"
Zack breathed in heavily, loving the mixture of shock, pain, and confusion that crossed his father's face.
'Now he knows how I feel.'
He spun on his heal and walked into Cody's room, locking the door behind him.
He went to Cody's bed and brushed the hair off his forehead.
"Cody?" he asked, in a surprisingly calm, normal voice, "Cody, can you hear me?"
Cody lay in bed, silent. He was like a breathing corpse.
Zack sighed and sat down. It was getting late and he hadn't had any dinner. He was getting tired.
"Cody," he whispered, "I want this all to be over."
To Be Continued…
A/N Please review!
Up next: Chapter Twenty-Seven: Into the Night
