The Cure
DISCLAIMER: Danmachi belongs to its respective owners. This story is a fan-made depiction of a fan what-if route of the original work and the characters in it abide by the fictional laws in the setting.
Author Note: If you'd like to support me, please consider joining the dis cord server 42SQENPj54 or supporting my Patron IreJasmine
Chapter [18] : (Con)Sequence 1
Part 20
What was he supposed to do?
His heart yearned for his mom's peace of mind and if his actions could give her an outlet in which she could waste all her pent-up emotions, Bell would gladly give Alfia one.
Years, for years Alfia had bottled up her emotions —Bell knew. All for his sake, for his growth, all so he wouldn't develop the same emotions that she had; dark emotions that festered for the loss of a loved one, for the deliberate loss of someone so important in their lives…
A past that Alfia had always hid from him, actions that Alfia had always been careful to never speak of when in his presence, even when her life had been at peril —Her life was still at peril and Alfia still refused to tell him, to give him the story of how his mother had died.
But…
He knew.
He was told.
He had learned.
Where Alfia had tried to hide all the past from him, in order for his future to be one without the shadow of her hatred and Meteria's death… Bell had still learnt of what happened, all thanks to the unlikely connection that he had made once he reached Orario.
His friends… his new friends…
Bell's heart ached.
It was his will –his actions and thoughts– that would make his new friends' hate the price that he would've to pay to finally give Alfia some peace of mind.
What else was he supposed to do?
His inactions may or may not have caused a Goddess to return to heavens.
His inactions may or may not have caused his Goddess to fall in a precarious situation.
Worse, had Alfia not decided to stop him for someone slighting her, he would've been the one to throw everything they had worked so hard for into the trash.
One finger's width was all it would've taken for Bell to commit one of Orario's taboos.
The death of a God —the deliberate killing of one.
How was he supposed to explain himself to his… friends…?
How else was he supposed to explain his actions to the woman holding his head in the middle of the streets of Orario?
From the moment she had seen him, from the moment she had spoken to him, from the moment that his body had instinctively moved —Alise hadn't let go off his head yet, for once her cold armor wasn't getting in the way of her warmth… not that it mattered, once he spoke —once he said what his actions and inactions had caused… he wouldn't feel it again.
Ever.
Another stake pierced his heart, causing his fingers to dig into Alise's back and seek that which he would lose were he to explain himself.
"*****"
It didn't matter what she said —He couldn't even hear what she said.
Would it have mattered?
Would any of it have mattered?
What was he even trying to justify himself for?
Would she understand him? Perhaps, she would and still would hate him for it —He knew, no. He expected Alise to hate him for it.
For all her carefreeness, Alise was not a woman without her own sense of justice.
It was why his face turned hot, not from embarrassment or anger, but from the tears threatening to spill from his face; Bell knew, it wouldn't matter what he said, it wouldn't matter what he tried to do, the past was the past.
It was set in stone.
It wouldn't change.
He had tried to kill Loki.
He had almost killed Loki.
He had almost killed the Goddess that took in Alise and Ryuu, despite their actions for the loss of their loved ones, and assumed all responsibility for them.
Worse.
At any moment now, at any second, Alise would feel her blessing disappear —All because Bell hadn't put a stop to his mom, to Alfia, from taking Loki away and making an immortal understand why mortals were so different from them.
He could've stopped Alfia —He wouldn't have, but it was in his power to stop her.
His mom would listen to him before anything or anyone else, even before her own feelings and emotions; If Bell had told her to stop, to let it go, to use him as a punching bag back in their home for what had happened, Alfia would've listened.
But he didn't tell her anything.
Bell had simply watched her leave, with a bleeding Loki, through the streets of Orario.
And wishing —praying that…
…
Praying for what?
What was he supposed to be praying for?
Did he even pray, before?
He didn't believe in Gods or Goddesses— Not after knowing, after learning that they had been involved in his mother's death.
It was so easy to point fingers, to say "it was your fault" to anyone who hadn't lifted a hand to put a stop to the sequence of actions that led to his mother's death; whether she would've lived through his birth or not mattered little.
That was not how his past had played out.
Even for his own Goddess, for Hephaestus, he could —No, he had found ways to blame her in his mind, in his immature heart; If Hephaestus had said anything, anything at all, there would've been a chance wherein his life wouldn't have been what it currently was.
There was a chance that his mother wouldn't have died while being chased, while bleeding to death, while holding him and praying that his life was spared—
He hated himself for it.
He hated himself for robbing his mother of her precious life.
He hated himself for robbing Alfia of the sister that she so loved.
He hated himself for…
For blaming everyone else for the actions that had led up to this point, to the current situation in his life that he had no idea of how to deal with.
Was it his fault?
Or was it their fault?
Bell refused to think that it was nobody's fault —His young heart said someone had to be at fault, someone, anyone!
He just needed to know who to blame, who to point fingers at, who to…
Oh…
Who was he kidding?
Who was he trying to fool?
The past was the past.
It wouldn't change.
He couldn't change it.
Not now, not in a million years —Never.
Every second that passed was gone, never to return, never to change, and forever to remain as part of his memory.
And if it was the last time that he would feel this —feel that which he had never had before, then…
"Alise."
"****"
Even now, he couldn't hear what Alise said, but… it mattered not; he could still feel her arms around his head, around his body that was slowly shutting down with every passing thought.
"I'm sorry—"
And hope—
Dearly hope—
That if Alise was to find it in her heart to forgive him—
Then Ryuu and Riveria would, too…
They had become important to him, they were important to him, immensely so —Learning from them what he could be, understanding how far he could go as long as he tried, and the belief —someone's else belief that he could accomplish his dreams.
Ryuu and Riveria gave him that.
They were not Meteria nor Alfia, they were no Goddesses either —They were strangers– Had been strangers.
Someone who knew nothing about him, someone who didn't expect anything upon meeting him, yet still…. Yet they had still found it in their hearts to believe that he could accomplish what he had set out to do.
How could he explain his actions to them?
Could he even explain his actions to them?
Did he even want to explain his actions to them?
Did he even need to explain his actions to them, in the first place?
He was young —But that was an excuse.
He was immature —But that was an excuse.
He was… lonely —But that was an excuse and a lie.
Alfia had tried her best to never allow him to feel the loneliness that permeated their secluded lives, she was everything to him –It was his goal to give Alfia back a minuscule piece of everything that she had sacrificed for him.
He did not need to explain himself, he shouldn't, he wouldn't—
Again, who was he kidding?
As much as he wanted to hide it, as much as he wanted to ignore it, as much as he wanted to cast his eyes away from the emotions blooming in his heart –Bell knew, deep down, he cared.
He cared too much.
He cared far too much.
They had made him care, for someone other than his mom.
Could he close his heart to them?
Yes, and do it so easily too, but…
He didn't want to.
"Riveria is fine, Bell, you don't need to worry about formalities considering we'll be together for a while."
He really didn't want to.
"Let's eat something different together, every day." Ryuu smiled-
The life that he always dreamed of having; the forbidden taste of that which he always desired once his mom was cured— They had given him that.
Turning his heart away from them would mean betraying all he had worked for…
"Is there nothing else besides me motivating you?"
What was he supposed to do?
His heart yearned for the lo— acceptance of someone other than his mom, for the days that he and Alfia would be free from all the dreariness of never knowing if the next day would be the last that they would see each other.
A future, gloom and uncertain, which could only be altered if they were to remain by his side, or so he believed —Or so he wanted to believe.
It was their help that made him grow; where Alfia had given him the ability to adapt, his new friendships gave him the push to do so.
Turning away from them would be like spitting in their faces, disregarding all their efforts and emotions –He couldn't do that.
He wouldn't.
…
But they would.
Once they knew.
Once they were told.
Once they learned, from him.
"—I'm so sorry."
He couldn't take it anymore, nor could his body.
Bell fainted.
- 0 - The Cure - 0 -
Alise caught Bell's slumped body after the several minutes of silence where he'd essentially burrowed his face into her bosom; she had tried teasing him about his actions, of how far out of character they were, but he had remained silent.
She worried.
Bell was their friend; someone she could truly trust and call one.
Then he had started crying, muttering words of apologies into her shirt that quickly became stained with his tears; she couldn't understand in the least what was going on in his head.
But she knew, he needed someone to be there for him.
For once, Alise was glad that it wasn't Ryuu who had met the young white-haired adventurer since there was no way that her rather-reserved friend would've known how to handle the same situation, not that she wanted to steal Bell away from her friend, but…
Every situation required the proper course of actions, least they make the situation worse.
"Gee, if I had known it would've turn out like this, I wouldn't have left you out of my sight, Bell." Alise muttered to herself as the city folk stared, curious, as to what had happened between her and the unconscious boy in her arms. "You really know how to set a woman's heart racing, huh?"
She wouldn't leave him there, no way in heaven's would Alise do so; she would bring him back home and if she was questioned by anyone, she had his permission -he had nodded his head in her bosom, after all.
Hence, Alise easily lifted Bell up, in a princess carry that made him look far more innocent than he truly was; he weighed almost nothing to her, he didn't even make her muscles budge an inch, but she still found it hard to carry Bell.
"You've truly taken it to heart that you can bother me at any time, huh?" Alise harrumphed to Bell's sleeping, red, face, jostling his upper body upwards until his face nestled in the crook of her neck and wouldn't get in the way if she were to fully carry him horizontally.
He didn't respond, obviously.
Alise snorted to herself, "You're so going to owe me one, Bell."
She held him tighter, securing Bell to her body before starting her trek back home with the unexpected addition of an unconscious Bell Cranel; they must've been for quite the interesting sight if their passerby's gaze was anything to go by.
Her, Alise Lovell, the Scarlet Harnel, the former captain of the Astraea Familia, and… an unknown boy, young and unconscious.
The rumors that would come from her current actions, Alise dreaded even thinking about some of them -Heck, she knew that if Ryuu were to listen to such rumors first, then her elven-friend would chew her out before hearing her side of the story first.
Luckily, Alise expected Ryuu to be home, so the elf would be the very first to hear about what had happened -not that Alise still understood why Bell had suddenly hugged her and cried until he passed out, but it would make her life easier.
Had something gone wrong for him?
It was likely, she knew him that much at least.
But there was very little that would make him so upset, at least to the point that Bell would willingly forego his discomfort of being touched by Alise of all people and even seek comfort from her.
Either way, Bell had needed her, and that was enough of a reason for Alise to help him -ulterior motives aside.
"Miss Alise, who's that?"
Alise was stopped at the gate to her current Familia's manor, by someone she had probably met at some point but hadn't put much thought into remembering.
"My friend."
"You're not planning on bringing him inside, right?"
"What if I am?"
"Mister Finn—"
"Does not order me around, only Goddess Loki gets to do that."
"But—"
"Move aside."
"Yes ma'am!"
Alise was not one to throw her weight around, but if it had its uses, then why the hell not?
Bell needed somewhere to rest, somewhere to lay down until he recovered consciousness and somewhere where he would feel comfortable enough to speak of his emotions and the events that had caused his current discomfort.
Like she had told the guard, only Loki had any say on what she could or couldn't do; a two-sided promise wherein Loki accepted Ryuu and Alise despite their tumultuous past, and wherein Alise and Ryuu did not have to respond to anyone but the Goddess herself.
They deferred to Riveria because of her seniority and the trust they had in the royal elf, but to everyone else… They—
"Ha!?" A demi-human sneered in the lobby of the manor, "The fuck are you bringing people over, huh?"
—They were Familia; members under the banner of the same Goddess.
Nothing more, nothing less.
"Get the fuck out of my way Bete." Alise's feet became encased in the scarlet flames that she was known for, "I don't have the time to deal with you today."
The socially inept werewolf of their Familia sneered at Alise again, another spiel almost escaping his mouth but upon second thought, tsk'ed and saved it for himself.
Bete had already been warned about not fighting with the Scarlet Harnel in the past, not because of some superficial reason such as belonging to the same Familia, but because Alise's flames left scars that couldn't be healed if she wanted.
Bete tsk'ed again, turned around, and left from wherever he came from, all the while rubbing his right shoulder.
Alise reigned in her flames, a deep sigh following as she readjusted Bell in her arms, "The things I do for you."
The way Loki's manor was set up made Alise carry Bell up the main stairs before turning left, towards the women's wing, then up another set of stairs before she was on the floor where hers and Ryuu room was located.
It seemed that her little show at the lobby was seen by other people, or so she guessed after many members of her current Familia averted their gazes from her. It wasn't unusual to find Alise in a bad mood and be ignored, nor was it unusual for someone to go out of their way to butt heads with her, but when her flames appeared –that's when they knew not to get in her way.
Her past, Ryuu's and hers, was well-known; Loki's gamble, is what they called them in secret. Adventurers who returned where others had not, and who made sure no other Familia would suffer the same way they did, even when it put a target on their heads.
Fear and woe; admired and scorned.
More often than not, people would stay away from them —afraid that getting involved with them would put a target on their heads too.
But Bell had done none of that.
He knew their past.
He trusted them for their past.
They were his friends, his very first friends in Orario.
"Heh, I wonder if you understand just how much you mean to us." Alise told her unconscious friend once she found the door to her shared room, "You probably do…"
Getting Bell inside their room wasn't that hard, Alise was level 6, what was hard was—
"Why is Mister Cranel here!?"
—Explaining to recently-bathed Ryuu that no, she was not the one who made Bell fall unconscious and no, she was not going to be taking advantage of him.
"We met by chance, he uh…" Alise paused, Bell still in her arms, "He kinda' just dropped into my arms and passed out. Brought him over because, uh…" Alise carefully selected her words, "He seemed troubled and uh… we're his friends, so I thought, 'Hey, surely, he wouldn't mind us being there for him once he wakes up', yeah. That."
Ryuu didn't believe her, of course she wouldn't, but the fact that Bell was in their home, in their room, didn't change regardless of Alise's depiction of the events behind his presence there.
"Did you report his presence to the executives?" Ryuu questioned her while checking on the unconscious Bell.
"Not yet, but I'm pretty sure Bete will."
"Oh," Ryuu's ears twitched, "I see."
"Think you can take care of him while I go take care of that budding problem?" Alise lifted Bell's body slightly so as to make it easier for Ryuu to exchange places with her.
"Alright…"
As Alise expected, Ryuu took Bell from her arms in such a gentle manner that it made Alise grin –she was so going to be teasing Ryuu for her actions later, but for now, she needed to deal with their Familia.
Alise went back to the door and held onto the doorknob, "Now don't go doing anything to him that I wouldn't, you hear me~"
She closed the door —Something smacked against it with an "I won't do no such thing!"
- 0 - The Cure - 0 -
Bell's eyes were swollen, Ryuu noticed as soon as she recomposed herself from Alise's parting words. She was no stranger to finding Bell in rather precarious situations -they met from one, or rather from a misunderstanding- but it was the first time that she saw him look so weak.
It had nothing to do with the fact that he was unconscious, but rather the way his unconscious body seemed to curl into himself, as if trying to make himself smaller to the world.
There was no doubt in her mind that something terrible must've happened to Mister Cranel since the last time they saw him and while she wasn't too keen on the idea of Alise having brought him over to their Familia's manor, it was probably one of the better ideas Alise's had in the last week.
Ryuu knew Mister Cranel was someone who bottled up his emotions, someone who wouldn't speak unless his emotions got the best of him, and someone who would allow his emotions to hurt him.
It was a situation she was extremely familiar with.
"What happened to you, Bell?"
Her question went unanswered, but she would still get one out of Bell once he woke up.
Gently, Ryuu set Bell down on her bed; making sure that his neck and head were well-cushioned with her pillow before she closed the window's drapes so the light outside the manor wouldn't bother her friend.
It was a little embarrassing seeing him exhale deeply but she endured it because the tension in Bell's face lessened partially or so she believed after taking a closer look at him.
Ryuu contemplated for a few seconds on what to do until she spotted drops of water had stained a spot on the bed, right besides Bell's head. She still had to dry her hair completely after her earlier bath, so with that in mind, Ryuu left Bell's side to grab one of her towels and carefully patted her hair dry.
While doing so, she glanced at Bell several times, hoping that he would wake up and explain what happened to him, but he remained unconscious; her curiosity got the best of her again, driving Ryuu to stand by closer to the bed where she could see if there was any other change to him.
She found some.
Bell had 'uncoiled' himself –his body had tilted sidewards, enough that his head now laid sideways on her pillow, and he was rubbing his cheek against it quite thoroughly.
For a moment, she was reminded of a small and rotund white animal with the way his face twitched, especially his nose; her lips twisted upwards, as did one of her hands that hovered over Bell's hair.
"There, there."
She wasn't sure what drove her to do it, but once her fingers caressed his white tresses, Ryuu knew it didn't matter —More so after it helped calming Bell.
He exhaled deeply again before a small smile formed on his face.
Something fluttered in her stomach at the sight before the feeling was overtaken by the annoyance of her back protesting from bending so weirdly to caress Bell's hair; She rectified the annoyance by sitting down on the bed, careful so as to not disturb Bell, before continuing her earlier actions.
Except this time, it was not just Bell's hair.
She prodded his cheek, finding it a little elastic but unyielding at the same time, before tracing his jaw —He shivered in response and moved so that more of his neck was exposed as he tried to move away from her curious fingers.
Ryuu's curiosity couldn't be stopped, then.
Her fingertips lightly set on Bell's neck; he was… warm. She traced the veins running across his neck, several times —Checking his pulse, is what she told herself to be doing, until she caught herself tracing below Bell's jaw again, as if tickling a cat.
And he responded like one, tilting his head upwards and seemingly waited for more.
Ryuu scuttled closer to his face for easier access but stopped once her thighs made contact with his arm that at some point had extended beyond the bed's edge; still, she was close enough to see his face better in the darkness of her room.
When… when had it gotten that dark outside?
Ryuu glanced up; sure, Alise had returned when there was some daylight out, enough that Ryuu hadn't needed to turn on the lights in their room, but! Had she not felt the passing of time? There was no light coming from beyond the drapes anymore, only the one making it stand out in the darkness of her room.
She needed to check if it had really gotten that late, so she stood up—
—She couldn't.
Something held her waist.
No, someone held onto her waist.
Ryuu's neck turned robotically.
Bell was asleep; his eyes were shut tightly, his breaths were long and even, but his arms—
His right arm curled over her right side, his right palm pressed against her stomach, his fingers dug into her sleeping blouse and skin alike —three digits wrinkling her sleepwear and two tickling her skin directly.
"B-Bell?"
He didn't react —His fingers did.
Ryuu clammed up as Bell's fingers bundled up even more of her blouse and in turn, also caressed her skin.
Unknown emotions crawled up her spine —Fluttering her stomach and warming her cheeks before her presence of mind returned, "B-Bell?"
"I'm…s…"
Ryuu's ears perked up: her brain disregarded everything to listen better to—
"…orry… ri… ry…"
Eyelids twitched —Red irises glimmered in the darkness.
- 0 - Part 20 / (Con)Sequence 1 End - 0 -
Author's Note: Ri? Ry? Riv? Ryu? Hmmmm... HMMM. hm.
- Jas / Shiiva
