Okay I was gonna do Review Responses but no one reviewed last chapter so let's just get straight into it.
The episode began with everyone eating breakfast. "This tastes like shit." Duncan said.
"Slayyyy Duncan." Noah said.
"Shut up." Duncan said as he shot Noah.
Confessional: "I feel like I have a good chance of winning, eh?" Ezekiel said. "I'm against three girls, one gay, and one guy who spends a lot of time around girls! I've pretty much already won!"
Confessional: "OMG, I'm, like, so totally gonna win!" Noah said femininely. "I've had an iconic time here though.
Confessional: "I've enjoyed my time here, but only when Sparem-die was gone. She fucking sucked." Katie said. "I might be able to win, but Duncan and Gwen are probably too epic for me to handle!"
Confessional: "ThThThThThThThTh." Beth said meanly. "ThThThThThThThThThThThTh!"
Confessional: "I fucking hate everything about this place." Duncan said. "Except Gwen, she's epic."
Confessional: "I fucking hate everything about this place." Gwen said. "Except Duncan, he's epic."
"Hey, campers!" Chris said, walking into the mess hall. "Are you enjoying breakfast?"
"No." Everyone said.
"Well, it's time for the next challenge!" Chris said. "Now follow me so I can randomly sort you into duos!"
LATER...
Everyone was sorted into groups of two, though they were still in the mess hall. The groups were Duncan and Gwen, Ezekiel and Katie, and Beth and Noah. They were all handcuffed to their partner.
"Today's challenge is three challenges!" Chris said. "The duo who wins the most challenges wins immunity!"
"My partner does not slay." Noah said.
"Don't worry, you can use this wimp key to unlock the handcuffs!" Chris said. "If you do that though, we'll have to kill you!"
"So what's the first challenge?" Gwen asked.
"It's to eat those entire piles of disgusting food!" Chris said, gesturing to three piles of disgusting food on the tables. "One person will feed it to the other person, who will eat it!"
"ThThThThThTh." Beth said.
"Now, go decide who the feeder and the eater will be!" Chris told them.
"I'll be the eater." Duncan said.
"Okay." Gwen said.
"I'll be the eater." Katie said.
"No, I'll be the eater, eh?" Ezekiel said. "It's a woman's job to prepare the food, and a man's job to eat it!"
"But I have experience!" Katie protested. "I murdered Sparem-die's only friend and ate her dead body!"
"Fine, but I'll feed you very forcefully because I hate women." Ezekiel said.
"I'll be the eater." Noah said.
"ThThThThThThThThThTh!" Beth argued.
"But I have experience swallowing things!" Noah pleaded.
Beth pulled out a gun and pointed it at Noah. "Okay, you can be the eater." Noah said.
Confessional: "ThThThThThThThTh." Beth said.
"Everyone, go!" Chris said. Suddenly, everyone started eating.
Duncan was eating flawlessly and Gwen was feeding flawlessly.
Ezekiel and Katie, on the other hand, were struggling.
"choking noises" said Katie as Ezekiel shoved the food down her throat incredibly fast and violently.
"HAHA STUPID WOMAN." said Ezekiel.
Noah and Beth were struggling even more.
"ThThThThThThThTh." said Beth.
"No it's yucky." said Noah.
Beth pulled out a gun.
"Okay I'll choking noises." said Noah as Beth shoved the food down him throat incredibly fast and violently.
"ThThThThThThThTh." said Beth.
Eventually, Duncan and Gwen won. "Duncan and Gwen win the first part of the challenge!" Chris announced. "Everyone follow me to the beach for round 2!"
AT THE BEACH...
"Okay guys, you have to canoe to Boney Island!" Chris told them. "I don't remember what happens after that!"
WITH DUNCAN AND GWEN...
Haha, I stole everyone's stuff!" said Duncan.
"That's so based!" said Gwen. "But who are you gonna frame it on?"
"Your mom." said Duncan epically.
Everyone laughed at Duncan's cool and funny joke.
WITH NOAH AND BETH...
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH MY EYES HAVE BEEN STOLEN AGAIN." Noah screamed. "THIS IS NOT AN ICONIC QUEEN SLAY."
"ThThThThThThTh." Beth laughed.
WITH EZEKIEL AND KATIE...
"Hey, what gender are you?" Ezekiel asked.
"Female."
"EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!" Ezekiel screamed as he pushed katie off the canoe.
"What the fuck." Katie said.
Ezekiel rowed away towards Boney Island at light speed, hoping to get away from the yucky woman.
WITH DUNCAN AND GWEN AGAIN...
"Let's just get ONE thing straight on this Mountain Dew web board. Mountain Dew Baja Blast is the best fucking drink ever created. Nothing even comes close. Not a single drink. That's fucking RIGHT, your favorite Mountain Dew version fucking EATS SHIT in comparison to Mountain Dew Baja Blast. This is a FACT, and nothing you can say could come CLOSE to refuting it. Don't fucking try, you pathetic little shits. This drink has been around since 2004 and it's STILL a big fucking deal. How many other Mountain Dews can live up to that same standard. Mountain Dew Code Red? Fucking garbage. You know who drinks Mountain Dew Code Red? Edge-lord 13 year olds trying to start a gaming youtube channel. And balding 45 year olds. And fucking nobody else. Mountain Dew Voltage? There are still people crying to bring back fucking Mountain Dew Revolution and Mountain Dew Supernova. Mountain Dew White Out? Discontinued. Mountain Dew Game Fuel Cherry? Gone. And I know what you're going to fucking say. "Mountain Dew Baja Blast sucks a dick because it lost to Mountain Dew Pitch Black in the Dewmocracy in 2016!" Well, guess what, dipshit. Mountain Dew Pitch Black is discontinued. You can't get it anymore. But people actually give a shit about Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Holy fucking shit, right? No one fucking cares about your edgelord shitty ass fucking Fanta Grape ass shit. The only person I knew who bought that shit was my buddy Eric, who now believes in fearmongering conspiracy theories like an idiot. He isn't my friend anymore. Both because he's a wingnut, and because he won't drink Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Mountain Dew Pitch Black fucking sucks. And no one fucking wanted it. So they got rid of it, like any rational multi-billion dollar company would do. Mountain Dew Baja Blast is still the fucking best Mountain Dew. It hails from Taco Bell, which is the greatest eating establishment known to fucking man. Have you ever had a Crunchwrap? They're fucking great. How about the Quesarito? Or the Nacho Fries. Or the Quesalupa. I could go on. Taco Bell is the greatest fast food ever fucking invented, so it makes sense their Mountain Dew flavor is the greatest fucking thing. KFC, and it's Mountain Dew Sweet Lightning? Fucking absolute garbage. No one wants to eat that shitty microwave chicken and peach flavored medicine. They got rid of fucking potato wedges so they could cheap out on a lazy copy of the Taco Bell Nacho Fries. Except they turned good fries into absolute garbage. How the fuck they managed to do that, no one will EVER fucking know. Mountain Dew Southern Shock, at BoJangles? Whose fucking idea was it to name a drink "Southern Shock?" Are they "proud of their heritage" or something? Do the executives have fucking confederate flags flying in their bedrooms, like the traitors to America they are? Absolute bullshit. Mountain Dew Baja Blast is the only fucking fountain drink worth a damn. Have you seen another fountain drink so highly demanded, they're forced to release it in bottles and 12-packs at the fucking grocery stores so people can hoard it like the apocolypse is coming? God no. I went to Sam's Club last year and they had it in fucking 36-packs. They don't even sell regular fucking Mountain Dew in 36-packs. And they keep putting it out every year, because people fucking buy them by the cartful. But, you notice, they don't keep it on shelves all year. This is because they realized that if they take it off shelves for six months, they can make a big deal advertising its return for the other six months, and then people go fucking wild buying it. It's fucking smart. Do you ever see people going wild buying cough syrup ass Mountain Dew Code Red? God no. How many other Mountain Dew versions are a big enough deal to get a diet version? Not very fucking many. I've seen like, a diet Mountain Dew Code Red, which got discontinued because no one bought it. But they have a diet Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Because even the diabetics and sparkling-water hipsters drink this shit up. I've seen people who shrivel at the thought of regular Mountain Dew, lose their fucking shit over the presence of Mountain Dew Baja Blast 12-packs at Walmart. My fucking grandma drinks Mountain Dew Baja Blast. There is nothing you could say to sway my opinion - Mountain Dew Baja Blast is the best fucking drink ever created." Duncan said.
"I agree." Gwen said.
WITH NOAH AND BETH...
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH MY EYES ARE STILL GONE." said Noah.
"ThThThThThTh." said Beth.
WITH EZEKIEL...
Ezekiel arrived on Boney Island. "Ezekiel and Katie win Round 2!" Chris said. "Meet me at the campfire for round 3!"
AT THE CAMPFIRE...
Everyone was standing in front of tables with the heads of eliminated contestants on. "You have to stack the heads in elimination order!" Chris told everyone. "Now go!"
Noah and Beth were arguing if Courtney or DJ got voted out first.
"Courtney obviously got voted out first, she hated Gwuncan!" Noah said.
"ThThThThThThThThTh." Beth explained.
Ezekiel and Katie knew that Courtney was the first boot.
"Now, all we need to do is put Courtney's head at the bottom of the pile!" Katie told Ezekiel.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH A WOMAN!" Ezekiel screamed as he destroyed Courtney's head.
"How are we supposed to do the challenge now?" Katie asked.
"I'm so based that nobody will vote me out anyways." Ezekiel said.
"lmao true." Katie said.
Duncan and Gwen, on the other hand, were dominating the challenge.
"Courtney got eliminated first." Duncan said, putting Courtney's head at the bottom.
"Trent got eliminated second." Gwen said, putting Trent's head on top of Courtney's.
"Owen got eliminated third." Duncan said, putting Owen's head on top of Trent's.
"DJ got eliminated fourth." Gwen said, putting DJ's head on top of Owen's.
"Sparem-die got eliminated fifth." Duncan said, putting Sparem-die's head on top of DJ's.
"Cody got eliminated sixth." Gwen said, putting Cody's head on top of Sparem-die's.
Gwen and Duncan continued the elimination order before getting to Izzy.
"I wish Izzy was still here." Gwen said.
"Same." Duncan said. "Anyways, Izzy got eliminated seventeenth." Duncan said, putting Izzy's head on top of Tyler's.
"Sparem-die got eliminated eighteenth." Gwen said, putting Cody's head on top of Sparem-die's.
"And Duncan and Gwen win immunity!" Chris announced, riding in on a beaver. "Everyone else can be voted for tonight!"
Confessional: "Time to frame someone again!" Duncan said.
"Noah stole all our stuff." Duncan said.
"NOAH YOU STEALING RAT YOU'RE GETTING VOTED OFF." Everyone said.
"But my eyes got stolen!" Noah protested. "Why would I steal my own eyes!?"
"You didn't." Gwen said basedly.
Suddenly, Noah's eyes were back.
"Noah lied, we have to vote him off!" Katie told everyone.
ELIMINATION TIME...
"There's so much drama going on!" Chris exclaimed. "But anyways, if you get a bullet you're safe."
"Gwen, Duncan, Katie and Ezekiel are safe!" Chris said, shooting at them all as they dodged it.
"Now it's down to Noah and Beth, our two meanest competitors!" Chris announced. "The last bullet goes to...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...Beth." Beth got shot in the braces, which made them come off.
Everyone gasped as Beth opened her mouth to speak. "[CENSORED]" Beth said happily.
"Oh no!" Ezekiel said. "She's so evil that the only words she can say are swear words!"
"Noah, the gang has spoken!" Chris told him. "Please ride the Boat of Losers home."
"You guys haven't ate!" Noah yelled at everyone has the Boat of Losers took him away. "And you definitely left crumbs!"
"Thank god he's gone." Duncan said.
"Who will be the next person to go home?" Chris asked. "Find out next time on..
TOTAL!
DRAMA!
ISLAND!"
Votes:
Noah - Duncan, Gwen, Katie, Beth
Beth - Noah, Ezekiel
22nd - Courtney
Returned - Trent
21st - Owen (Deceased)
20th - DJ
Returned - Sparem-die
19th - Cody (Deceased)
18th - Bridgette
17th - Geoff
16th - Heather
15th - Leshawna
14th - Harold
13th - Eva (Deceased)
MERGE
12th - Trent
11th - Lindsay (Deceased)
10th - Justin
9th - Tyler
8th - Izzy
7th - Sparem-die (Deceased)
6th - Noah
Girls - Gwen, Beth, Katie
Boys - Duncan, Ezekiel
Notes:
Wow, what a dramatic chapter! Duncan framing Noah, Beth getting her braces off, and some third example!
I eliminated Noah for being the most cringe person left except Beth, but we need her to be around so there's a mean character to contrast with the niceness of the rest of the Final 5.
As for my opinion on Noah, he was okay when he insulted characters I didn't like but when he insulted characters I did like I wanted to punch him in the face.
