Chapter 2 - Of Time and Fate
...
James was swimming in darkness. He had lost her; it was his fault that he couldn't save her. He found the darkness comforting as it encased him like a blanket, protecting him from the harsh reality of what was waiting for him when he woke up. A life without M. On some rational level, he knew she would have died at some point, but it was too soon.
"If you had a second chance would you take it?" A disembodied voice echoed softly.
James looked around the darkness for the unknown voice, but could see no one.
"Hello?" he shouted, hearing his voice echo around him, but there was no answer. Then again he didn't expect there to be. He probably just imagined it.
"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself, James Bond."
James stood to his feet on alert as a second, more harsher voice joined the first.
"Who are you?" he demanded.
"We go by many names, but you may call us, Moirai."
James turned around to see three white lights start to come closer through the darkness. All of this was impossible. They were just a myth, nothing more. He must be going mad, none of this could be real.
"I can assure you we are quite real." The third voice told him in amusement.
"Then why don't you show yourself," he challenged.
The sound of benevolent laughter was his only reply. "We have no form, but perhaps you would believe what we have to say, if it came from someone you trust."
He took a step back as the three lights merged together creating a single ball of light, before it changed into the human form of a woman with all too familiar piercing blue eyes, and silver hair.
"M?" he whispered hardly believing what he was seeing. This had to be a dream or side effect from the drugs. There was no other explanation.
She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "No, I'm afraid her time for the moment has come to an end, James."
"Then who are you?"
"I told you, we have many names." The entity using M's voice replied. "But that's not the reason why we have come."
James narrowed his eyes wondering what it was this thing wanted.
"Then why are you here?"
"To put it simply, we are here to give you a second chance."
James had heard some strange things in his life, but this topped them all.
"You're bluffing. This isn't real. This full conversation isn't real and you most certainly are not real."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, James." she reached out and grasped his hand in her own.
He tried to pull his hand away, only to feel her grasp tighten.
"Believe what you will. When you wake up, you won't remember this conversation. But let me ask you this, If you had the opportunity to save the woman you loved, would you take it?"
"In a heartbeat." he said without hesitation. "But there is always a catch."
"You are smarter than you look. The only catch is, that if you change one event that has already occurred, you will set in motion a new set of events that could cost you more than what you have already lost."
"But there is a chance to save her?"
"Yes, there is. But there is no guarantee that you will succeed."
"Then why are you allowing this?"
"Because you have suffered enough heartache, James. It's time you have some happiness in your life."
"And we both know whose fault that is for denying me that happiness in the first place!"
M raised an eyebrow at the hostility in his tone, "touche."
James didn't know what to do. He could take the chance and try to save M a second time, or he could fail and risk losing her all over again.
"You're positive there is a chance of saving her?"
"Yes, we wouldn't have suggested it otherwise. You have the chance to save the woman you love, James. Isn't that what you want?"
"More than anything."
"Then you have told us all we need to know." M gave him a smile. "You have one chance, James. Fail this time and you have lost her for good. There is more at stake this time around. You will have to be vigilant and pick your allies wisely. Someone you thought you could trust, will deceive you in the end."
"What do you mean?" James asked confused.
"You will find out soon enough." M's voice started to grow fainter, as she started to disappear.
"M!" James called out desperately willing her to come back.
"One last chance, James. Use it wisely."
/*\*/*\
James' eyes snapped opened, the deluge of lights on the white tiled ceiling above him made him wince. He could feel his body lying on a soft bed, as he blinked a few times to clear his mind and vision, wondering where he was and how long had passed. The drugs dissipated slowly and the lingering after effects left him with a dry mouth and anguished mind. The full reality of the situation began to fill him, and the image of M's dead lifeless body continued to haunt his thoughts. They should have just killed him. Anything would have been better than trying to live a life without seeing the face of the woman who had meant everything to him. He wondered what they had done with her body? He had to find out.
Trying to sit up, he felt a sharp pain in his chest and lower body wondering what else Tanner had done to him. Feeling tears of pain sting his eyes, he tried to move his head but had no energy to do so. He hadn't felt this weak since the incident with Le Chiffre in Montenegro.
A tight grip in his hand caused him to look down to see a woman's hand clasped in his own. Following her arm, his eyes widened in disbelief as he saw who it was sitting fast asleep in the chair next to his bedside.
It couldn't be real, but the warm hand of the woman's in his own told him otherwise. He watched her chest rise and fall softly as she continued to sleep. James was beyond confused at what he was witnessing. He needed answers, as well as something for the pain.
Tracing the back of her hand with his thumb caused the woman beside him to stir. As her eyes opened and found his, she quickly stood up and looked down at him.
"It's about time you woke up." she told him softly, before reaching over to press the nurse call button.
"How are you alive?"
The simple question caused her eyes to fill with worry. "What do you remember?"
"You died. I held you in my arms as you died and I couldn't save you."
Before she could inquire further, the nurse entered the room and asked her to stand back. She tried to let go of Bond's hand, but his grip only tightened, refusing to let go.
"Don't leave me," he pleaded.
"I'm right here, James," she told him softly.
"When did he wake up?" the nurse questioned as she examined him.
"Only a few moments ago. He seems to be confused…"
The nurse took a note of it on his chart, "It's normal for a patient who has been tortured and unconscious for a large amount of time to become confused and experience some memory loss. However, we will continue to monitor him in case there is any prolonged damage that we aren't aware of."
James lay on the bed confused wondering what on earth they were talking about. He hadn't been tortured. Not in the physical sense. The last time he was tortured was in 2006, which was six years ago.
"I'll give him another dose of morphine to help with the pain. He was lucky. We didn't think he would pull through, but it seems Mr Bond is one for defying the odds."
"Trust me, he has been known for it."
The nurse gave them both a smile and replaced Bond's chart at the base of his bed. "Heart rate and blood pressure are normal. However, his body is continuing to heal, so it will be sometime before he is able to return to work. I trust you will make sure that he won't over exert himself."
"I'll make sure of it."
"Very well, I'll have a colleague bring you something light to eat. It will mostly be a liquid diet for a week or two at most before going back to solid food."
Bond gave a groan, not looking forward to having to endure this special diet for two weeks.
"When can I leave here?"
"When I deem you fit enough to leave, Mr Bond. I'll be back later to check in on you."
Bond heard the nurse leave and gave a relieved sigh. Now he could get those answers he desperately needed.
"You must be thirsty."
Bond gave a faint nod, as he felt his bed rise into a sitting position allowing him to fully take in the woman's appearance. She was exactly as he remembered her; strong and determined, so full of life as if she had been reborn. She was nothing like the woman who had looked so broken and frail in his arms.
"Small sips, James." She held the straw to his lips, as he let the cold water sooth his throat.
Once he had enough, he watched her place the cup back on the bedside cabinet, before taking a seat back in the chair next to his bed.
"What did you mean earlier, when you said I was dead?"
"Exactly that, M. You were killed thanks to one of my genius plans. I guess you were right, my charm does get everyone killed in the end."
It was M's turn to become confused, "I don't recall ever saying that to you, James."
"You told me that in Bolivia after you thought I had gone rogue. You were adamant that I was clouded by revenge and you no longer trusted me."
"James you have never been to Bolivia. If you have, I certainly never sent you there." M tried to hide her worry.
"I went there after Mitchell tried to kill you at the safe house in Siena when you were interrogating, Mr White."
M's ears picked up at the mention of Mitchell, deciding to look into his activities later. "Who is Mr White? He sounds like a bloody cluedo character."
James could feel himself losing his patience, "He is a member of Quantum, and was responsible for blackmailing Vesper before she drowned in Venice."
M narrowed her eyes, "What's the year?"
"What do you mean, what's the year? It's 2012."
James noticed she was looking at him strangely as if he had grown a second head. "Why are you looking at me like that, M?"
"James, the year is 2006. You have been in a coma for a month. We thought you were never going to wake up. Mathis found you tied to a chair, beaten, naked and unconscious. Miss Lynd is still recovering from her injuries, and LeChiffre was found dead, with a bullet in his skull."
"That's not possible? We were on the run from Silva, a man you know as Tiago Rodriguez."
M's eyes flashed dangerously, "Where did you hear that name?"
"All you need to know is that I tracked him down after a man named Patrice stole a hard drive that held information with the name of every NATO agent embedded into terrorist organisations. He was responsible for blowing up your office and was hell bent on killing you because you handed him over to the Chinese in exchange for the release of six British agents."
She felt uneasiness grow, at the thought of Tiago being alive, and planning his revenge. She thought she had buried that part of her past for good, but it sounded like that wasn't the case.
"I took us to Skyfall, to flush Silva out and had Q leave a trail that would lead him straight to us. You told me you didn't want anyone else dying because of your past and this seemed like a good idea at the time. But later when Silva and his men attacked, I realised that it was a foolish mistake. You were bleeding out from a gunshot wound. Silva followed you to the chapel and it was there that I finally managed to kill him. I thought that was the end of it and we had won." he gave a humourless laugh, "However, It turned out he succeeded in the end. I caught you as you started to collapse. I held you in my arms, watching as the light left your eyes." James spoke softly never taking his eyes off M. ". I was too late to save you and you died not knowing…"
"Not knowing what, James?" she asked softly.
James looked away from her knowing that if he told her of his feelings for her he would be rejected and would lose her all over again.
"Talk to me. What didn't I know?"
"How much I love you," he muttered quietly, looking back up at M seeing the shock on her face at his admission.
M stood there in silence for a few seconds, before speaking. "I'm calling the nurse back."
"No." he tightened his grip on her hand. "I promise you, everything that I've told you so far actually happened, M. I wouldn't make this up. As you said, how else did I find out about Tiago Rodriguez? The name wasn't in your file. I didn't even know the man existed."
She still didn't fully believe what he was telling her.
"Trust me, M. I'm not lying to you. You have to believe me."
M narrowed her eyes, trying to find any deceit behind his words, wondering if he was taking her for a fool. However, what she saw in his eyes told her that what he had told her was true. The eyes staring back at her were filled with loss and pain. There was no trace of smugness or his usual cocky attitude. His eyes looked older than the man currently lying in the bed. It told her all she needed to know. This wasn't the same Bond she had left in the Bahamas. He may look and speak the same, but his eyes told her differently. It has always been said that eyes are the window to the soul, and Bond's soul seemed much older than his years.
"Please tell me you believe me, M? I'm not crazy. I can't explain what happened, all I know is that what I experienced at Skyfall was real."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I believe you. You're not the same man that I left in the Bahama's."
"What do you mean?" he inquired willing her to elaborate.
"You've changed," she said simply. "Your eyes hold what I've seen in so many Double-0 agents who are worn out and tired of the job. You look like a man who has nothing left to live for, when over a month ago you were egotistical, reckless and full of life."
He didn't know what to make of M's answer. He certainly felt older than the age of his current body. It made no sense how he could be in 2006 when he had already lived this life.
'One more chance,' he muttered under his breath not sure where he had heard the words. It didn't matter. He could change how events played out. It also meant that he had a second chance to save M from Silva and bring an end to quantum.
"I have a feeling I'm missing something here, James. What do you mean by 'one more chance'?"
"Do you believe in fate, M?"
M was taken aback by his question wondering where he was going with this, "I believe that events happen for a reason based on one's actions. Why do you ask?"
"I think I was sent back to this point in time to ensure that what lies ahead doesn't come to pass."
"James…"
"How else can you explain it, M? There is no other explanation that I can think of as to why I was sent here. It was during this time that we found out about Vesper's betrayal, which led us to White, Quantum and also exposed Mitchell as a traitor."
M's head was starting to spin with what James was saying. It was a ludicrous theory, yet at the same time, it made sense, much to her dismay.
"So, you want to what? Prevent events you've experienced from happening in the hopes of a better outcome?"
"Yes."
M leaned in closer, "If you change events, James, you could also put other events that didn't occur into motion…"
"I'm fully aware that my actions could have repercussions! But If it means you get to live, I'm more than willing to take that risk. I can't lose you again M. This time, I'll make sure your come out of this ordeal alive. You have my word."
"What you're suggesting could also put innocent people's lives on the line! My life isn't that important for you to risk the lives of millions!"
James' eyes flashed in anger, "I never want to hear you say that again, M! You're just as important if not more so than everyone else. Besides, that may not happen."
"And if it does? Then what? You could complicate matters and make them worse instead of better. You're essentially meddling with time and fate!" She snapped.
"It's a risk I'm willing to take. I can do this with or without your help, M. But I would rather have you on my side."
M thought over his words, "You told me earlier that you loved me. Was that true?"
"It was and I regret not telling you sooner. The woman I loved was in front of me all this time, and it took your death to realise that I should have buggered your rules and told you. Even though I would have known and still know that you would never return my feelings, I want you to know now, that I mean every word. I love you, M. I always have and always will."
M looked down at their joined hands in regret. She couldn't return his feelings. One because of her job and two, this James was someone she didn't know, even if he seemed to know everything about her.
Looking back up at James, she saw the understanding in his eyes, "I take it you already know my answer?"
James gave her a sad smile, "I do, but I hope one day when you're ready, you will be able to see past the agent."
"James…"
"You're truly worth waiting for, M." he brought her hand to his lips, softly placing a kiss to her knuckles.
She tried to ignore the warm sensation in the pit of her stomach at his actions. While she may not return his feelings at this moment, perhaps in time she would be able to adapt to this new side to James.
"Now that you have gotten that out if your system. Perhaps, it's time we discuss everything that you remember about these events. Only then can we decide on the best course of action to take. I will not have you run head first into a situation, just because you think saving Miss Lynd or killing this Mr White will change anything."
"I know, M," he tried to keep the annoyance from his voice.
"Do you?" M challenged. "If you hope to succeed with this plan of yours James, we need to think about all possible outcomes before we decide to act. You also need to understand, that while you hope to change certain outcomes, some things aren't meant to be changed. No matter how much you may want them too."
He gave a resigned nod, "I understand that M, but we have to at least try."
"Very well. We will discuss this in more detail later. But first, tell me; what am I like several years down the line."
"You honestly want to know?" James asked amused.
M gave a faint smile, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."
James couldn't help but return her smile, "Let's just say your threat to have me killed, became reality. It was just by sheer luck that the field agent you had assigned to me was a crap shot."
M stared at him in stunned disbelief. It must have been a serious mission if she had ordered a field agent to take the shot when Bond was the best she had.
"Apart from that, you don't change much, other than your suits."
"What about my suits?" she looked down at her modest black dress, that was accompanied by her grey jacket.
"Let's just say, I prefer the ones you currently wear," his eyes roamed her body taking in her curves.
"I think I get the picture." she tried to keep the annoyance from her voice when he saw his eyes wander. "And my eyes are up here, Bond!"
He gave a smirk and tore his eyes away from her chest. It was the first time she had called him Bond since he had regained consciousness. He didn't know whether to find it amusing or disappointing that she had stopped calling him, James.
Hearing footsteps approach, they both turned to look towards the doorway to see a nurse enter with a tray of food. Placing it down on the table, she quickly marked something on his chart before leaving.
M looked at the tray and tried not to smirk when she saw the bowl of tomato soup accompanied by a glass of water.
"And here I thought I would never have to suffer through another liquid diet." he regretfully let go of M's hand to pick up the spoon.
Taking a spoonful, he felt his hand shake as he tried to lift the spoon to his mouth.
"Let me," M muttered softly, as she reached over for the bowl of soup and took the spoon from his hand.
"Well, this is already different."
"What do you mean?" M asked holding out another spoonful of soup to his mouth.
"You being here," he ate the soup from the spoon and quickly swallowed it. "The first time I was recovering from Le Chiffre's torture, you were in London. You never visited, or inquired about my health. The next time I contacted you was when I sent you my resignation and after Vesper killed herself." James told her softly. "It makes me wonder what changed."
M didn't know what to say. Was she really that heartless? While it was true she couldn't leave London every time one of her agents were injured, she could have least have phoned the hospital or even Mathis for any updates on his health. Yet, it seemed she hadn't even bothered.
"Do you know if Mathis called me the last time you were tortured, James?"
James couldn't recall Mathis mentioning him calling M to keep her updated. "No, I don't believe he did."
"Well then, there's your answer," she replied as she remembered receiving Mathis' phone call informing her of James' injuries, which resulted in her ordering Villiers to call in Tanner to cover for her until she returned.
He let M feed him the rest of his soup as he thought over what M had told him. It meant there was already changes starting to occur. If he had any hope to succeed in changing known events, he had to try and be one step in front in order for him to plan his next move. He wouldn't make the same mistakes a second time.
M was right, he had to fill her in on everything that had happened if they had any hope of changing the outcome. In his eyes, failure wasn't an option. This time, he would make sure she survived, even if it cost him his own life in the process.
