New chapter!!
CHAPTER 9
The following days passed by in a blur of physiotherapy, visitors and counselling. With a combination of medication and relaxation techniques, Nick was sleeping for longer periods and was having fewer dreams. When the nightmares did come, they were managed quickly and he could resettle faster.
All of his friends from the lab made regular visits and, as the days progressed, Nick drew comfort from their support and was able to participate in conversations more freely - concentrating for longer periods of time.
On the day before he was due to be discharged home, Grissom arrived, without Catherine for once, and sat alone with Nick for nearly two hours - just the two of them and the briefcase which Grissom had brought with him.
Grissom realised that he couldn't remember a time, other than when they were working a case together, that he had spent so much time one on one with his younger colleague. It had started out rather awkward.
Grissom, not particularly good with small talk, had tried to initiate the easy banter that Catherine always seemed to be able to generate. It may have been more successful if Nick was his old self. But he wasn't. At least not yet.
His emotions continued to fluctuate dramatically and rapidly. It was alarming for his visitors, although they were all prepared and coped well, and equally alarming and frustrating for Nick. He felt as if he was on a roller coaster - one minute smiling and talking, the next shaky and full of anxiety or tearful and withdrawn. The counselling was basic while he was in hospital - just focusing on getting him through day by day and, importantly, helping him to get much needed rest and sleep. The hospital psychologist had referred him to an independent psychologist, who he would start intensive sessions with once he was discharged.
So, Grissom worked with what he had - a quiet, polite, but anxiety riddled Nick.
Admitting defeat with the awkward conversation, Grissom started with his alterior motive. He was there on business. He had to debrief Nick - take his statement. It was protocol to hear the version of events from survivors of crime in order to analyse and improve how future investigations were managed. Nick was to be no exception and Grissom had volunteered immediately to be the one who went through the events with him. It was his way of reaching out to his young colleague.
Grissom proceeded slowly, making sure Nick was following the story and understanding what he was being told. He was invited to contribute whenever he could remember details. However, he was having trouble remembering much in between arriving at the scene and waking in the box - Grissom suspected it was related to the ether which had been used to subdue him and which was notorious for producing sustained amnesia. It frustrated Nick and Grissom watched as his anxiety grew, causing his hands to start trembling again. He watced as Nick gripped his hands tightly together almost unconsciously.
Grissom stopped momentarily and offered Nick some water, which he accepted gratefully. The pause in proceedings took the edge off the difficult conversation.
When it recommenced, Nick was able to offer more of what he remembered but it was taking its toll. The memories exhausted him and the emotions which he was forced to relive caused the shakes to reappear yet again.
Grissom slowed the pace even further.
Finally the time came for Grissom to discuss the webcam. He had delayed bringing up the subject, not sure what was the best way to introduce the fact that the team had been able to watch him throughout his entire ordeal.
He decided honesty and directness was the best and explained it carefully and slowly, watching Nick carefully - making sure that he was following what was being said. He watched as a frown of confusion passed over Nicks face before the reality set in. Nick stared at Grissom as his brain tried to put all of his questions into words but nothing came out.
Finally his mouth cooperated and he managed "How?"
Grissom raised his eyebrows in a shrug and sighed. He moved his chair in closer and dropped his voice lower as he answered. "Walter Gordan had attached a small internet camera to the lid of the box. It was connected to the light source so everytime we clicked on the icon it would activate the light and start transmitting through the weblink."
He paused and watched as Nick processed the information. The ongoing effects of the drugs combined with the exhaustion and the trauma from the kidnapping had slowed Nicks cognitive functioning a little - he was finding it difficult to think straight.
"But, the light was connected to the fan." Nick murmured to himself, he was looking beyond Grissom - it was clear he wasn't in the room at that moment - he was back in the box remembering how he had shot out the light.
"The light was connected to the fan," he repeated, "I shot the light 'cos it was connected to the fan. Was so hot and the fan kept stoppin' and...and the ants. The ants came in and got all over me and were bitin' me everywhere. An' I couldn't move they were bitin' me so bad." His voice was becomming more agitated as he remembered the details - his accent getting thicker and thicker. Grissom reached out and rested a hand on Nicks forearm, squeezing gently to anchor him to the present.
"Yes. We were accessing the weblink. It was the only way we could make sure you were still OK. We didn't know the light was connected to the fan until you shot it out. We saw the fireants and idenitfied the species which, in turn, led us to the nursery and to you."
Grissom kept his hand on Nicks arm as he waited for a response.
Nick was still clearly reliving the events. He looked up at the ceiling as he recounted being found. "I was so scared. So scared...and the ants! They were bitin' me and it was hurtin' so much, An' the gun was there an' I was gonna do it!". He had forgotten about the gun. He had forgotten the feel of it under his chin and how he was so close to ending it all. How he couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly he was back in the room. He swung his gaze - horrified and frightened all over again - to Grissom. He pulled his arm away from Grissoms hand inadvertantly as he pulled himself up further until he was sitting bolt upright in bed. He pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on them, resting his head in his hands as the shakes started again.
"I was gonna do it, Grissom. I was gonna do it and I was shit scared and...shit! I was gonna do it! Then 'Rick was there an' you were there. But I was really gonna do it an' if y'all hadda arrived five minutes later..." he trailed off as he brought his palms up to dig into his eyes and dug his fingers into his forehead.
Grissom got to his feet and moved in close, resting his hands on Nicks shoulders and trying to anchor him again.
"But you didn't. And that's what you need to hang on to. You didn't pull that trigger and we found you in time and you're safe. You're OK. That's all that matters."
"But..."
"No, Nick. You're here. That's all that matters."
Grissoms voice was soft and confident. It was a voice Nick could trust. It was the same tone as when Grissom had calmed him while still in the box. And it worked now.
Nick kept his head in his hands a moment longer, finally scrubbing his face with them and dropped back on the pillows.
Grissom waited a moment then continued.
"Dont take it with you, Nick. You're here. That's all that matters."
His full bodied shakes had subsided but his hands were still trembling.
Grissom stood and moved back to the chair.
Opening the briefcase, Grissom removed photos of the nursery and Gordan's warehouse. He moved back to Nick and looked at him momentarily - making sure he was OK to continue.
"Nick," he said, "I'm going to walk you through the evidence. I want you to stop me if you don't feel you can go on. OK?"
Nick sighed deeply again and nodded slightly.
Grissom smiled at him. The last week he had seen another side to Nick - a side he had always suspected had been there but that he had never really thought about. He saw incredible strength of spirit, amazing courage and, most importantly, he saw a man with a real future ahead of him. He would need help, of course. But Grissom was more determined than ever to be there as a friend as well as a colleague.
Sitting next to the bed, Grissom spent much of the next hour going through the photographic evidence. He walked him through each piece and patiently explained everything. By the end, Nick was exhausted, physically and mentally. He had coped better than Grissom had expected with all the photos, but was tiring rapidly by the end.
Packing the photos away, Grissom picked up his briefcase, stood, moved to the side of the bed and reached out to gently squeeze Nicks shoulder, giving him another encouraging smile.
"Take it easy, pal. You call me if you need me. OK? Anytime." Grissom said.
Nick nodded slightly.
"Thanks, Grissom. For everything."
Grissom smiled
again.
"Remember, Nick. Don't take it with you."
Please review. I know I say that after every chapter but I do really appreciate it and need a bit of extra motivation at times. Thanks in advance : )
