Chapter five: Scars

I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that
I care too much
Our scars remind us
That the past is real

"Hermione." A voice said.
"Severus?" Hermione yelled back. She was in the Shrieking Shack. "Dad!"
There was a groan and she looked to her father's bleeding body. His skin was paler than usual and glistening with sweat. He reached out to her with shaking hands. "How could you let this happen to me? You did this to me. You let me die."

Hermione shot up screaming, but she was alone. It was a dream. Just a dream. She collapsed back with panted breaths. She could do this. Hermione swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She needed to clear her head. Grabbing her father's journal, she stumbled her way downstairs to the common room.

February 1st1993
After a month of near constant brewing, she is able to leave the Hospital Wing without the fur and tail. Though the tail was rather adorable.

May 8th1993
I was heading out to the pitch when Albus walked toward me briskly. Immediately I knew something was wrong when he said, "You must come with me now."
Hermione lay stiff on the hospital bed, poised as though mid-step and having been surprised. Petrified, my Hermione has been petrified. I hugged her to me as best as I could, whispering to her that I would make everything okay. I can fix this.

"Hey, Ariel." Hermione looked up with a red nose and glassy eyes as Remus sat down beside her on the sofa.
"Hello."

He grabbed her hand. "What's wrong, love?"

She wiped her face and smiled, completely missing his term of endearment. "Just my story. It's sad."

"Ariel, I swear I didn't know about Sirius was going to do. Please believe me. And he didn't mean it. He's just- protective."

"I understand." Remus tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, but wasn't brave enough to kiss her.

"Tell me about yourself."

"I'm really not that interesting." She said quietly.

"I find you interesting." He insisted. "Please? Tell me anything."

"I'm allergic to aloe vera. Once when-er- camping with my friends, I got terribly sunburned. We all did, so we went looking for some. I had hives for a week."

He laughed and she smiled at the memory. Ron's face took forever to finish peeling and Harry couldn't wear a shirt. He and Ron took turns sneaking up to each other to slap the other on the back. Remus wiped the tear that overfilled down her cheek.

"Do you miss them?"

"We've been through some much together. Inseparable since we met and this is the longest we've ever been away from each other since we were eleven. Even holidays we spent together."

"What are they like?"

"Ron's a clown, but brilliant when you don't even expect it. He never loses at chess. Harry- " Here's where she felt guilty. He should be here with his parents and seeing Sirius again. Meeting James. "Harry's a bit of a mix between James and Sirius really. He has a terrible temper, but he means well."

Somehow they fell asleep, he propped back into the corner and her draped over him. Close to her usual time for waking, something woke her. Remus' snoring. She actually found it endearing as she smiled against his chest. Her arm itched, as it sometimes did. Severus had convinced her this was neither the time nor the political climate for such a statement as not hiding it. Especially if they were to be friends- none of the Death Eaters could find out.

She knew that she and Remus would end up together, but she had to help Severus. Maybe she should just go with the way things went. He almost kissed her last night and she was both relieved and disappointed when he didn't. At this moment Remus started to stir.

"Morning," he croaked with a dry mouth. He was in pain prior to the full moon that night. "Am I comfortable?"

"Exceedingly so." She laughed.

"What's going on here?" James asked, his arms crossed and Peter and Sirius on either side of him. Hermione sprung off Remus in embarrassment.

"We were just up late talking," Remus said, unaffected by their obvious disapproval. "Fell asleep."

"Oh?" Sirius asked. "Anything interesting?" He never took his eyes off of her. She took a step back scratching her arm from being close to Peter and his Mark.

"What's wrong with your arm?" James asked, suddenly grabbing her hand. No, not with Peter. But then he rubbed a thumb over her hand and the scars from fifth year. Phew, wrong scar. The four boys stared at it unblinkingly. Hermione jerked her hand away.

"Nothing, just an old scar." Remus, who'd smelled her anxiety and fear a moment before, stood up.

"Nothing?! Ariel, who gave you a Blood Quill?"

"Please, I really don't want to talk about it. Ok? I have scars. It happens."

"Yes, but- "

"Remus!" She shouted and he recoiled. "I'll tell you when you tell me about yours, yeah?"

His face went green and she escaped to ready for classes.

"You know, Ariel," Lily said as Hermione did her hair Saturday morning of the 19th. Lily had wanted to get to know her roommate better. "You're very lucky."

"Oh? How do you figure?"

"You're the only the girl I have ever seen Remus even remotely interested in."

"I thought you had a thing for James Potter."

Lily's face went red. "I don't have feelings for Remus, I was inquiring to see if you did. You'd make a really cute couple."

"So would you and Potter, but yes, I do find Remus very attractive."

"He's so irresponsible though, and arrogant. Rude. Conceited. I could go on with the list."

"Yes," Hermione interjected, "but he's also loyal, caring, decently handsome."

Lily sighed, popping a Bertie Bott's bean into her mouth and grimacing. "Then why don't you date him?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Because he's rude and conceited." The two laughed. "In all seriousness though, give him a shot. He might surprise you."

"Maybe you're right. Hey! Let's dress up today."

"What for?"

Lily was up and across the room at her wardrobe in a blink. "So I can tease James and you can impress Remus."

"He's in the Hospital Wing sick."

"Do it with so I won't be dressed up alone then."

Hermione groaned in protest, but got up anyway. "Only if you accept a date with James."

"Fine," Lily consented, though Hermione suspected she wasn't too put out about it. "But I get to pick out your dress."

Hermione agreed and Lily pulled out a sleeveless dress that fell almost to the floor in a light fabric. "Wait! Don't you have anything with long sleeves?"

"Oh hush, this will look great on you. Now hold still." Lily pulled at Hermione's robe, but she resisted.

"No really, Lily. You don't understand."

"Don't be so silly."

"I'm not- " Rip! Lily and Hermione both fell back, each holding a piece of torn fabric, leaving her arm exposed. Lily gasped, looking up at Hermione with tears.

"Oh," she whispered. It looked angry and painful as if it were fresh rather than over a year old.

"Lily, you mustn't tell anyone."

"I promise," she said, still somewhat in shock. She shook herself out of it upon seeing Hermione's sullen expression and went back to the wardrobe- pulling out a long sleeve, cotton dress with sunflowers all over it. She held it out with a weak smile.

"What are you wearing?" Severus asked as they headed toward the Black Lake.

"Why? Do you like it? I'm sure I could find it in your size, though I don't think you quite have the legs for it." She gave a demonstrative twirl.

"Haha." They stopped under a nice shady tree right by the water. It was her birthday, and she was content to spend it just like this- soaking up the sun before it got too cold. Today, she agreed to let Severus draw her, though she already had the drawing in the journal. He propped up against the bark with his knees up and his sketchbook against his legs. She laid on her stomach with the journal.

May 30 1993

All of the victims of the Basilisk have been healed and I watch my girl embrace her friends. I swear she's going to be the death of me.

July 1 1993

As soon as I heard about Black escaping Azkaban, I found myself in front of the Grangers home. It was dark, just after ten, and she was awake reading, Pride and Prejudice. I rolled my eyes, there is accounting for taste, but she is safe for now.
I'm watching my girl grow up with me. Having to watch from the sidelines is almost as bad as not being there at all. Albus tells me again that I must leaver be, but he has no children of his own. What can he know?

Severus groaned and Hermione looked up in question. "I can't get your hair right," he said, pouting.

"Relax, you'll get it and it'll look amazing."

"How do you know?"

Because I'm looking at the finished product? "Call it a gift."

"You sure have a lot of those," he commented bitterly.

"What can I say? I'm blessed." She sat up. "It will look great because you never do anything half way."

Several yards away, James, Peter, Sirius, Lily, and her friend Marlene- Sirius' fancy of the week, sat on a blanket. Sirius is glaring at Ariel and Snape.

"I still think she's one of them." He said grumpily.

"I don't know. Padfoot. Maybe Remus is right. Did you see that scar?"

"Scar?" Lily asked James in alarm. "What scar?"

"There's a scar on her right hand," Peter said. "Says 'I will hold my tongue'. Moony says it was a Blood Quill."

"Did you notice she was scratching her arm?" Sirius scoffed. "Her left arm? James did, but he had to play mother hen again."

"What are you talking about?" Marlene said from her place with her head in his lap. "Who?"

James sighed. "Sirius here is under the impression Ariel Mason is a Death Eater. And I do not mother hen people!"

"But isn't she related to Professor McGonagall or something?" Marlene asked.

"Goddaughter," Lily sighed from her book.

"That just makes her a good spy," Sirius insisted.

"She's not a bloody Death Eater!" Lily said forcefully, all but yelling. Everyone blinked at her in shock. None of them had heard her curse even remotely.

James asked hesitantly, afraid she'd bite his head off. "Have you seen her arm?"

Lily nodded, but would say nothing else and Sirius still wasn't convinced.

That night after curfew Hermione snuck into the infirmary. Remus looked awful- pale, sweaty, and even more scars on his face than the day before.

"Oh, Moony. Look what you did to him this time," she whispered woefully. Hermione kissed his forehead before laying A Winter's Tale on his bedside table before leaving.

Remus had woken up the moment the door opened, but thinking it was James or Sirius he pretended to be asleep thinking he could give them a fright. But it was Ariel. He was ecstatic she came to see him, despite his reason for being there. Then she spoke and it was as if she knew what he was, and the difference between Moony and Remus. He hated to think Sirius may have a point, not that she was a Death Eater, but that something about her didn't add up. She knew Moony, the scar on her hand, the way she talked sometimes, and she wasn't on the map. The map never lies. He needed to confront her.

"Mason! What are you doing out so late?" Sirius asked suspiciously upon seeing her alone in the corridor.

"I'd just gone to see Remus. He's asleep if you were wondering."

Neither pf them said anything. Then, "We need to talk."

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "I agree."

"Follow me," he said, leading her into an empty classroom that looked like it was used for storage. "I don't trust you," Sirius said frankly. "Any explanations as to why that is?"

Hermione sighed, perching herself on top of a desk. "Oh, there are several I'm sure. Just none of which I can inform you of."

Sirius looked at her hard, as though hoping he would see into her thoughts by doing so. "Show me you arm, Ariel." He whispered, his voice full of trepidation.

She was smart enough to realize this would have to happen sooner or later as Sirius was a very suspicious person by nature. He wouldn't let it go until he had his confirmation one way or another. So Hermione slowly rolled her left sleeve up until it was at her elbow. Sirius slowly lowered his gaze to her arm and all the air left him in a rush. He stepped forward and grabbed her arm carefully.

"Who did this to you?" He asked in a quiet rage. Now he wished he'd listened to everyone else, not sure he'd ever be able to get the sight of the vulgar word so cruelly etched into her skin. What kind of person would do this to someone?

"It doesn't matter." She told him and he looked at her with disbelief. "It was a long time ago it seems. She died a few months after this happened."

"Good. I hope it was painful."

"Yes, well, there's no point in in worrying about it now when there's nothing to be done."

"Who all knows about this?"

"You, Lily, and Severus." She knew at some point it might be a good idea to tell Minerva, but how do you go about with something like that?

"Snape?" He grimaced.

"Yes Snape. He's very important to me and I would trust him with my life."

Sirius nodded mutely. "I'm sorry about before, you've no idea how sorry."

"Don't be. I understand. You were looking out for your friends. I would have done the same."

Sirius chuckled weakly. "Let's start over, shall we? Especially if you're going to be with Remus when he bucks up the courage to ask, yeah?" Hermione blushed and he glanced down at her ring with raised eyebrows. "Unless there's already someone. Not Snape, right? Please say not him."

She laughed. "My father, actually."

"Well, shall I escort you back?"

She smiled. "You may."

He helped her off the desk and offered her his arm. "Milady."

"You can't tell anyone. Not even Remus or Peter."

"You didn't say James."

She scoffed lightly. "I don't think Merlin himself could convince you not to tell James if he threatened to string you up and hang you by your toenails."

He cringed. "Gruesome, but accurate. I approve."

The Fat Lady let them in with a wink from Sirius and Hermione hugged him before going to bed.

"Oi!" James whispered. "Where the bloody hell have you been? Do you realize how late it is?"

Sirius went over and sat on James' bed. "I confronted Ariel."

"Not again! Sirius leave the girl alone or Moony's going to kill you. I'll let him, I swear I will!"

Sirius covered his mouth. "Hush, and no. It was all very civil. I told her we need to talk and she agreed."

"Well?" James whispered. He was curious, despite what his Lily-flower had to say about it. "Is she?"

Sirius tugged at his hair, raking his hand through it rabidly. "James, it was horrible. There's no Dark Mark, just another scar. Prongs, someone carved it into her arm," his voice was frantic. "Someone carved 'Mudblood' into her arm with a cursed blade."

James' face went green and he didn't ask his friend how he knew it was a cursed blade. He probably didn't want to know. "That-that's sick. Who would- "

"She wouldn't tell me, just that they're dead whoever they were."

"That explains Lily earlier."

"You can't tell anyone, even Peter or Remus."

James nodded, not wanting to tell anyone. "He fancies her, you know?"

Sirius grinned.

~~~
So Sirius is taken care of, but now Remus? Hmm. And anytime Sirius grins should be reason for fear. Next chapter will be basically a part 2 of this one and I promise it's the one you've all been waiting for. What does everyone think of Severus' journal? Too sappy? Let me know what you think in the towel section down below. All the loves, Skye