A/N: Family gatherings such fun. Day 4/Monday still.
Chapter 40: Awkward Conversations
Despair, panic fill my thoughts. I can't imagine a good outcome to this scenario. I really don't need all these images. I shakenly ask, "What did Nick tell you?"
Bonnie replies, "Oh, not much just how some foxes don't like their tails being overstimulated, certain methods of petting are preferable to others."
Nick says, "What did you think happened?"
I blush. "Let's not get into that… but you came out all flustered and said my mom was insane."
"Yes, she is. These questions are rather unexpected."
Bonnie defends her decision. "I wanted accuracy, the internet is not too reliable you know."
"Gee, thanks."
Stu asks, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
Bonnie replies, "Why not? I don't see the harm in it."
Mental crisis averted it seems. Mother did not go there thankfully. That would have been too much. Nick says, "Time to find Olivia. She should be home, shouldn't she?"
We leave the room and move around the house. We search for Olivia. It's just fine that she's already chatting with a group of siblings. I guess we shouldn't interrupt. We try to leave stealthily but they hear us. The fluffle embraces Nick. Nick says, "Help Carrots."
I reply, "You'll be fine." I left Nick alone with Olivia and a fluffle of my siblings. Speaking of foxes at home, what's Frostfang up to? I search for Frostfang and what I see surprises me. Kits are everywhere around here and she's reading them a story. Shadowslight is also there, I guess I never paid too much attention to what happened to her. When did Shadowslight come into our house?
"And so, Hazel joined the Black Rabbit's Owsla." Frostfang finishes her tale. "Any questions?" Frostfang notices me. "Judy, I'm surprised Nick left you alone."
"Do you have so little faith in me? Do I have to be supervised constantly?"
"Yes. Tom, go escort her back to Nick." Her mate escorts me back to Nick. I don't object but I am annoyed. Tom's wearing blue entirely and for once not doing something perverted with Frostfang.
We find Nick and Tom leaves. Nick's currently, in the room cuddling with a lot of my siblings. I say, "Nick, they don't trust me to be alone in the house."
Nick remarks, "Do you want to be away from me now?" A hint of despair is heard in his voice.
"How could you even think that?"
"I'm uncertain of what you want… it worries me Carrots. By the tone of your voice, you seem to be annoyed to be stuck with me."
I admit, "I do want some time alone… well the capacity to be alone. Frostfang doesn't trust me to be away from you in the house."
Nick says, "Alright everyone, you've all spent enough time with me. I have to take care of my bunny now." They voice disapproval at having to leave us alone. "Olivia, you can stay." She stays with us. Nick and I lay next to each other on the floor. Olivia takes her place on top of Nick.
Olivia tells us about what life has been like for her. Her family didn't accept her because of what we did. It was our choice to save her but they never looked past it. I desire their death. My wings flare up in rage. How dare they treat her this way? She's innocent of everything. "I will kill them for you."
"Judy, have you lost your mind? They're still her family."
Olivia says, "Can you kill them please? They never treated me well since then despite how much I've tried."
I reply, "Yes, of course." What happens next is something I couldn't predict.
Nick snarls in rage at me. "You aren't going to kill her family Judy. I will make sure of it."
"Why do you deny me this? Olivia wants it. It should be enough. I am sure we can find a way to do it legally."
Olivia interjects, "Why Nick? Why? They treated me badly, enough for me to want to live with both of you."
Nick doesn't seem to understand. "Judy, you weren't there when I led everyone to Bunnyburrow, where Frostfang made a big speech about how this is a new beginning for everyone."
I am annoyed at his lack of comprehension. "Nick, you can't be serious! They treated her badly and I want vengeance for her."
"You will not be killing them period. I find it's out of line and if you think you are in the right, we'll ask the Prime to judge us. We'll follow his decision on this matter."
Why does Nick want to involve third parties? All I need is his approval. "Why complicate this?" My ears droop at his lack of approval of my actions.
Olivia says, "Don't fight over me. I want you both to be happy."
Nick comforts me with his tail. "I don't want you to go down a path of vengeance Judy. It's not right and it's not what the old you would have wanted."
The old me? "Is change so bad? You became a police officer because of me."
"It's not change, that's the issue but rather how you changed. Momentary decisions can lead to regrets, I did hear how you tried to kill your own mother and father once."
"You heard about that?" What does he think of me now?
"Yes, I understand and don't hold it against you."
"What should I do now?"
"Support Olivia and be there for her. Make sure she is happy from now on."
"Won't we be too busy being members of the order and all?"
"Your family can support Olivia as well, both you and she aren't alone in this. Your family seems to treat Olivia much better than her old one."
"Yes, they do." Rousing us from our embrace was the fact that it was time for supper. We all went to the dining table. Chatter among the family was about foxes and how to treat them properly much to my dismay. I suppose I should be happy that family's much more accepting of foxes now but not like this. This feels wrong, I don't think many of them are interested because of love.
I don't know what to make of this, it seems fine right now but it also feels like disaster waiting to happen. Nick rouses me from my thoughts. "This is wonderful, such open acceptance, just look at Frostfang." Yes, kits are obsessed with her.
I choose to just observe while everyone else socializes. I can't shake this feeling of impending doom as if something really bad is going to happen in the future. The surroundings are peaceful I'll give it that. Dinner ends without anything happening. We go to my bedroom. Nick chooses this time of all times to bring up another topic. "You have to talk to Jennifer."
Yes, I have to talk to the one who tried to seduce Nick and succeeded. "Why bring this up? Do you have a death wish?"
Nick is apparently less than impressed with my question. He pins me down on the bed. "Look, you have to resolve everything with your family. I don't want any lingering resentments you feel right now that might lead you to doing something drastic in the future."
Olivia comments, "I ran away from mine. Why can't she do the same?"
Nick reacts unexpectedly. "Silence, she is mine and I will fix her."
Olivia runs away crying and terrified. I ask, "Why did you do that?"
"I want what's best for you above all." He didn't even answer the question.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Why did you say that to Olivia? Why did you refer to me in that sense?"
"What did I do?"
I look into his eyes, he's sincere. He acts as if that moment never happened. "What do you remember?"
"Why are you acting like this Carrots? Is it because you don't want to talk with Jennifer about what happened?"
He really doesn't know and he's acting as if I'm the one acting strange. "You really don't know." I pause for a long time. "Nick, believe me this isn't related to Jennifer. It's about what you just said to Olivia."
"She's right here in the room, isn't she?"
"Your response just terrified her and she ran away crying."
"Are you making it up and trying to get out of this?"
I cry. Tears start falling out of my eyes. "Do you really not trust me?"
"I wish I could. I don't want to lose what little remains of the rabbit I knew."
"You really think that I'm making all this up" I pause after that statement. I finally gain the courage to ask, "How can I convince you otherwise?"
Nick for once gives in and concedes he might be wrong for once. "If we go find Olivia and it turns out nothing is wrong. I'll lose the remaining trust I have in you."
Nothing could go wrong. Olivia does deserve an apology from Nick at least. "We should find Olivia."
We leave the room and try to find Olivia. The other inhabitants are minding their own business. We find Olivia in Frostfang and Tom's room. It seems the kerfluffle has taken up residence there. All of them are listening to Frostfang's tales. Olivia greets us enthusiastically. "Judy! Nick! Come listen to a story."
I say, "Nick's here to apologize for his actions earlier?"
It was at that moment my world was shattered. "For what? What did he do?" How could she not remember this incident?
I ask Frostfang, "Was Olivia happy when she came here?"
Frostfang replies, "Nothing was amiss with her. Is something wrong?"
Nick taps his foot on the ground. "Judy's making up tales about how I made Olivia cry and how she ran to this room as a result. I knew I couldn't trust Judy."
I reply, "But I'm not making it up Nick!"
"Where's the evidence then?"
"Olivia is the evidence."
Olivia says, "Come, listen to Frostfang's story don't fight." We both decide to stay in the room to listen to Frostfang's story.
Frostfang starts a new story and everyone listens with eager anticipation. She tells us a tragic tale, of the fall an immortal pair. They both lost trust in each other. They decided to fight against their enemies when their time came, they chose not to return in order to be with the partners they wish they had. That remains a theory because they still haven't returned. The tale of Cinder and Wind, a tiger and a sheep.
I ask, "Why did you tell that story? Out of everything else."
Frostfang replies, "You know why."
I look at Nick. I can sense it affected him on some level but I think he's trying not to show it. He says, "Let's go, Judy." Such formality and not even using the nickname he gave me.
Before we leave though, Olivia asks us, "Can I stay with Frostfang for the night?"
"Of course, you can." Nick gives her approval and she stays with my siblings to listen to even more tales. We go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I decide to ask my other siblings if they saw Olivia crying or terrified. None of them said they have. This bring me doubt.
Nick and I go to sleep in my room. Nick says, "Carrots, I'm sorry for trying to change what you are."
I reply, "I'm sorry that I lied about Olivia."
Dreams don't come easily. I keep thinking what would happen to us as if we were the ones featured in the tale. I can't sleep even though I'm cuddled up with Nick beside me. What would happen to those that want perfection so much that they reject reality? Cinder and Wind both did. What if that happens to us? What if one of them lived but the other was lost in paradise?
A/N: This chapter took a surprisingly dark turn.
