A bit of a short chapter this time but hopefully not long until the next chapter.

CHAPTER 21

Nick walked down the corridor, head hung low and tuned out to the hustle and bustle of the lab. He was having a hard time adjusting to the fluctuating moods again. They had been difficult enough to cope with the first time around when he had just been released from hospital. He thought that was all behind him but, again, one minute he was in control and the next he was full of anger and hostility. It was as if seeing Kelly Gordan had reignited all of the old anxieties and fears that had plagued him in the early stages of his recovery.

He made his way into the carpark and sat heavily on the concrete step to wait for Grissom. He momentarily thought about ignoring his boss and driving himself home. He knew that Grissom would be talking to Catherine and both would be planning the next step in his recovery for him. He was sick of being treated like a kid and even more immasculated with being treated as a victim.

But ignoring his boss would mean more explaining of his actions and his mindset. And he couldn't be bothered with that either.

So, he waited.

He played the events of the day through his head, stopping and replaying the most excrutiating parts over and over again. The more he thought about them, the more agitated he became. With the agitation came the shakes - reawakening with avengance. And yet, still, the recent memories replayed in his brain.

He felt sick. He felt dizzy. He felt sweaty again. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and it scared him. His chest ached. Was he having a heart attack? Was this what it felt like to have a heart attack? Was he going to die? He didn't want to die!

A hand on his shoulder made him jump and swing an arm around in a defensive punch.

Grissom leapt back, his hands held up in surrender.

Nick cursed under his breath and stared up at Grissom - his eyes were radiating fear and sweat was beading around his forehead.

"Sorry, Nick."

Grissom's eyebrows were raised as he watched his young colleague - concern evident on his face. It was clear.

His guy needed help.

Now.
He had spoken to Catherine in the locker room and they had discussed the need to get Nick professional support and quickly. They had agreed to meet together with Nick the following day to work out a strategy for discreet management of his anxiety. As Grissom stared at him, however, he wondered if that was soon enough.

"Nick?" Grissom asked quietly.

"Gris...." Nick grabbed his shirt in a fist over his chest, his breathing was fast - as if he'd just run a marathon. "Grissom..."

His voice was pleading for help.

Grissom knealt in front of him and reached a hand to his forehead. He maintained eye contact with him as his other hand reached for his cell phone. He held down a number and, thanks to the beauty of speed-dial, called Albert Robbins.

After a very brief and one-sided conversation, Grissom ended the call and turned his full attention back to Nick.

His eyes were closed tightly now and his breathing had turned into pants. He tried to push himself up but Grissom's hands held him back.

"Just sit, Nick. Slow your breathing down and just sit, OK. You're alright. You're OK." Grissom spoke with quiet authority.

"Griss....heart 'ttack....ches'...." fear was clear in his voice.

Grissom brought both hands up to hold either side of Nick's face - one pinky finger resting on Nick's carotid artery in his neck, measuring the racing pulse beneath. He was starting to get really worried.

"Nick, it's OK. Doc Robbins is on his way. I think it's a panic attack but we'll get you checked out, OK. Just concentrate on slowing down your breathing. It alright."

Nick's hands continued to claw at the fabric of his shirt as his eyes suddenly snapped open and he tried once again to push himself to his feet. Again, he was held back.

The doors to the carpark flew open and Doc Robbins came to an abrupt halt as he barrelled through followed closely by Catherine. He lowered himself down awkwardly to Nick's level and moved himself right in front of his patient as soon as Grissom moved out of his way.

Grissom stood and went to stand next to Catherine.

"What happened?" asked Catherine quietly - still edgy from Doc's call out to her from the hallway as he hurried past.

Grissom shrugged and ran an exhausted hand across his face. He filled her in briefly about what had happened when he'd found him.

They both stood in worried silence as the doctor assessed Nick. He took a sphygnomanometer from his kit and took Nick's blood pressure, talking to him softly all the time. Nick was still in obvious pain but his acute panic seemed to ease ever so slightly.

Doc Robbins held steadying fingers to Nick's neck and felt his pulse before pulling out a stethoscope and listening to his heartbeat manually.

Wailing sirens could be heard getting louder and louder until, finally, an amulance entered the carpark and pulled up close by.

Nick's anxiety increased as two paramedics got out of the ambulance and knealt next to Nick and doc Robbins. The doctor filled the paramedics in on Nick's condition and offered a few quiet words of comfort to his patient before he pushed himself back up onto his feet and moved to Grissom and Catherine.

"He'll be OK." he said simply. "It's a panic attack but we'll get him to the emergency room and run some cardiac enzymes on him just to rule out a coronary event. The paramedics will do an EKG when they load him into the ambulance, but I'm almost 100% certain they'll come back clean."

"Thankyou, Albert." said Grissom. "I'll go with him to the hospital."

Doc Robbins nodded and looked grim.

"Keep me posted." he said before turning back to the paramedics and collecting his gear.

Nicks eyes were still closed but not as tightly as before and his breathing was easing up even more.

One of the paramedics headed back to the ambulance and unloaded a stretcher and the two men manouvered Nick onto it and loaded him into the back of the vehicle.

Grissom glanced at Catherine and shrugged.

"Meet you at Desert Palms?" he asked

Catherine nodded.

"I'll be on your tail." she said as she followed the doctor back into the lab to get her bag and keys.

"You're with us?" asked one of the medics.

Grissom nodded and climbed into the back of the ambulance.

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