Chapter IX: "Gimme Shelter"
"Be true to yourself. Make each day a masterpiece. Help others. Drink deeply from good books. Make friendship a fine art. Build a shelter against a rainy day." -John Wooden
There was darkness, an all-encompassing void that shrouded.
But to comprehend the value of nothing, one had to be firmly enraptured in existence.
It had been so long since he had last breathed life. The conquests of love and knowledge that once burned brightly in his mind like candles on an altar had now faded and grown dim, lost in the millennia as they slipped past during his slumber.
But now…?
They were waking.
It was once again time to be and light the stars. The sleep was over and, once again, the work had to be done.
A great feeling of joy, love, and compassion welled up within him, saturating his being with its power, at the thought of guiding others and sharing with them the joy of rebirth. It stirred him so that his companion began to wake.
"...it is time…?"
"Yes! We are needed-"
"-we-"
"-are-"
"...Scirrhus…"
"...hhuuoooghhhh!" it rasped in an eldritch voice that was older than every living creature on the planet.
It was the last glorious remnant of the previous cycle, a living metaphor of rebirth, love, and creation. The Last Petal of the youngest rose in The Garden was going to plant the Seed and bloom the Orchid.
Everything was glorious as the first few flies began making their pilgrimage, landing on Scirrhus and laying their eggs on its ancient skin. The call of The Loved was waxing once again under the new moon and the revelry of it all made his insides warm once more.
The planets were in place once again.
The Envoy of Creation would herald the departure of the Last Petal, as it finally took its place on the youngest rose in The Garden.
But first, there was ever so much to do in order to properly prepare for the coming future.
"So much…" Scirrhus thought as a gnarled hand reached out to push the creature away from the ancient tree it had been occupying. The weathered bark was rough and hewn with age that could almost rival Scirrhus' own.
This was but a first step, it realized as it disengaged itself from the wizened tree and planted two rotting feet upon the previously undisturbed ground.
"Buboes, phlegm, blood and guts! Boils, bogeys, rot and pus! Blisters, fevers, weeping sores! From your wounds the fester pours…" Scirrhus sang softly, taking another step and moving to examine its surroundings.
xxxXXXxxx
"So, my cute—nay, precious—students," Kakashi began brightly, "does anyone recognize this exercise?"
The three Genin of Team 7 remained silent as they warily regarded the compact, triangular formation they had been arranged in.
It kept all three of them just beyond an arm's length away, allowing Kakashi to easily weave between them as he spoke.
"No?" the Jounin simpered with a mock pout. "Not even you, Sakura-chan?"
"Umm…" the girl began slowly from her spot at the head of their small triangle, "no, sensei. I've never done this exercise, and I don't recognize it as any of the ones I've read about…"
"Really?" the Jounin asked in surprise, weaving between Naruto and Sasuke before coming to stand in front of her. "It's actually quite an effective method for honing the finer intricacies of taijutsu, Sakura-chan."
Sakura glanced back at her two teammates briefly, just in time to catch Naruto shuffle uncomfortably, eventually returning her attention to Kakashi. "But aren't we too close to move around freely, Kakashi-sensei? Shouldn't we spread out more?"
"Aaaand that, Sakura-chan," Kakashi began theatrically, "is why I consider you to be the 'smart one!'" He briefly regarded all three of his students in turn, double-checking to ensure they remained in their assigned positions. "The goal of this particular exercise is to hone your defensive reflexes. You see, students, the best recourse is usually to simply dodge an incoming attack, but," he lectured, letting the proverbial second shoe hang poignantly in the air, "that is not always an option, dearest students."
Kakashi paused and looked at his only masked student, noting the jinchuuriki's barely contained fear with relish. Sasuke appeared indifferent, the Uchiha had clearly resigned himself to their fate if his closed eyes were anything to go by.
And then there was Sakura.
Kakashi's smile blossomed under his mask.
Teaching truly was a joy.
"When evasion is not an option you must be able to defend yourselves, my adorable students," Kakashi enthusiastically lectured. "A wise ninja follows the path of least resistance, this is true," the Jounin sagely advised, "but being a successful shinobi means learning how to adapt- if you cannot evade, you must defend."
Sasuke opened his eyes, Sharingan picking up speed as he watched his sensei.
Kakashi smiled, unbeknownst to the world thanks to his mask, and cleared his throat theatrically. "As Genin, you are the antithesis of what, in conventional terms, would be described as the 'cream of the crop.' No," here he paused thoughtfully, relishing in the twitch of Naruto's jaw, "you are but naked—nubile— neophytes– shivering in the cold, cold wind." the Jounin explained. "And out here there be monsters!"
Naruto rolled his eyes at Kakashi's theatrics, managing to get half a shake of his head in just before Kakashi snapped a jab off to his nose faster than the jinchuuriki could react to.
Watching in morbid fascination as the punch flew out perfectly, Sasuke's Sharingan memorized every single detail of Naruto's crumpling form. There was blood dribbling from his broken nose before the blonde's hands even reached the aforementioned appendage.
Sakura gasped-
"The three of you will not have the luxury of 'easing' into your ninja careers," the Jounin stated, turning toward the kunoichi and shaking his head gravely. "We're gonna have to do this hard and fast and not one of you is gonna like it!"
Sasuke thought that Sakura, being a by-the-books kind of girl, would truly appreciate Kakashi's form as he delivered a devastating kick to her thigh if she could see it through the Sharingan. The doujutsu showed him every single possible route their sensei could have taken to deliver the blow in a myriad of afterimages just before Sakura crumpled to the ground clutching her spasming leg.
"Zabuza Momochi is not known for being a kind man," Kakashi lectured, ignoring his two moaning students and turning his attention towards Sasuke. "In fact, you could say he's built his reputation on treason, cruelty, and inhumane practices. He will recover and he will adapt."
"Hn."
The Jounin shook his head slightly. "Ever the loquacious one, eh, Sasuke?"
The Uchiha shrugged his shoulders noncommittally.
Kakashi snapped out a jab to his throat, forcing the Genin to duck and use his forearms to halt the knee to his head that followed.
"Good, good!" Kakashi remarked. "If you cannot retreat, you must defend, children!" he spoke to all three shinobi as Naruto and Sakura shakily returned to their feet. "Understand, kiddos, that Zabuza isn't going to be pulling his punches," the Jounin said flatly, "and if he gets through your defenses…"
Kakashi shunshin'd between his students, kicking out Naruto's knees, chopping Sasuke in the neck, and elbowing Sakura in the spine. "…you'll either lose an arm, a leg, your head– or just plain 'ole get cut in half!" he resumed seamlessly. "So it's gonna be really important that everyone follows my orders with the utmost professionalism and accuracy when we find ourselves out in the field. Furthermore, we're going to have to up Team 7's training, because moaning on the floor isn't a strategy that'll beat Zabuza and his compatriots."
The three Genin sluggishly got back on their feet, gingerly nursing various points of impact.
"A little warning would have been nice, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto ground out after finally managing to stem the flow of blood from his nose with the aid of Kyuubi's chakra.
"Zabuza wouldn't have warned you." The copy-nin shrugged dismissively. "Besides, I can't just keep beating the three of you savagely, so I had to make those first couple of love-taps really count. I'll need the three of you fit for duty in order to distract our enemies while I handle the important stuff–"
"—gee, thanks—" Sakura mumbled.
"–like killing Zabuza, killing Gatou, and stabilizing Wave," the Jounin continued, ignoring his female student's grousing. "So everyone needs to get ready to learn how to play some serious defense. I trust your ability to put the pointy end of the kunai into your enemy," Kakashi elaborated, "but I find your ability to avoid the pointy end of your enemy's kunai… lacking."
The elite Jounin could have wept tears of joy at the determined looks plastered on his students' faces as they steeled themselves for another round of practice.
"We may just all make out of here, kids," he gushed before punching Sakura in the diaphragm. "We just might," he reiterated, turning his attention away from the vomiting kunoichi and towards a gulping Naruto.
xxxXXXxxx
"You, my friend, look like shit twice baked over. Did you know that?"
"Did you know that I fucked your sister once?"
"I– wait, what!?"
"Goddamn right, I did, Zori," Waraji affirmed as he slowly rose to sit on the edge of his bed and light up a cigarette. "Her twat was tighter than a noose, and her morals were looser than the rope at the end of it." The older samurai chuckled at only something he found funny before pulling out a small, black case from his nightstand.
"Waraji, so help me God," the younger ronin seethed, "do you–"
"—want to let you smell my fingers? No, not particularly but—
"–want me to beat the living shit out of you?" Zori hissed back menacingly, thumbing the katana at his hip while Waraji extracted a syringe from his case. "Because me and Mister Sword here will be happy to oblige you, dickhead."
"You would not survive the attempt– I'd mutilate you in ways that only your nee-chan's vagina could sympathize with," Waraji dismissed as he pulled out a lighter and spoon. "Even an ignorant wad of mung such as yourself should be capable of understanding that." he continued, fiddling with the spoon gently. "Just because your sister is the easiest, dumbest fuck walking around this filthy island is no reason for you to die needlessly."
"Hey, smack hound," the younger man bit back as he watched Waraji tie off, "I will fuck you up if you don't shut your goddamn mouth about Sei-chan."
"Yeah, you fucking do that and see what happens, bitch," Waraji muttered as he held the tourniquet tight with his teeth.
Zori settled for a glare before pulling a chair from the seldom-used desk and taking a seat. "Sometimes I really do fucking hate you," he began, "bloody rectal belch that you are."
Waraji chuckled before letting go of the tourniquet and flexing his bicep to test it. "Well, my opinion of you isn't much better, but I know you didn't come over here to figure out that you're absolutely worthless– that ship left port same time as you left your momma's gaping smile." he finished as he clicked the lighter and ignited its flame.
"Yeah, right fucking detectives– that's me and you." Zori mumbled as he watched Waraji extinguish his cigarette in an overflowing ashtray before the older man carefully measured out his dose and injected it.
So..." Waraji sighed before setting down his used syringe and falling back to his bed, "...what does 'Chief Gatou' want, Inspector Zori?"
"For us to round up some piggies."
"For feeding or for slaughter?"
"Both– one of the new guys actually gave Gatou a good idea. We'll be rounding up five of 'em plus one civie."
"Who's the native, then?" Waraji asked softly.
"One of the real constables, actually. Gatou got word that he might be looking to sell out to the Konoha-nin. The guy with the sword says he's got to go."
"You mean the fucker who got his ass handed to him, right? That asshole?" Waraji slurred, reaching over and grabbing another cigarette from his night stand.
Zori nodded.
"Yeah?" Waraji lit his cigarette with the click of a lighter. "Fuck him." he spat with a plume of smoky whorls. "I don't need his shit," the ronin spat disdainfully, "and I especially don't need shit from his little kept-boy-of-a-catamite."
"Hmmm… fair point, I suppose…" Zori agreed lightly, letting the shoe hang in the air for a bit, "but I also like not having my legs chopped off by a giant sword," he countered. "Not to mention whatever that kept… boy—who I might actually be a girl with tied down tits, I think—will do to my soft, pink, and naked body before, after, and/or during the aforementioned amputation of my legs."
Waraji sat up. "…well… when you put it like that it sounds more reasonable, listening to those two faggots–"
"—who can literally fuck us in every conceivable way, mind you—"
"–suddenly becomes a lot more survivable-oriented. That's a plan of action I can get behind," the ronin nodded. "I think you just need to work on your presentation, Zori. You got this thing where you talk and it makes you seem like a worthless piece of shit– it really overpowers the intent behind your argument. But, with my help, we were able to work out whatever gibberish your mouth-brain was trying to vomit into my earballs." Waraji nodded before putting on his pants and grabbing his sword. "But if you wanna talk about gibberish, this one time I was fucking your sister at your Dad's house–"
"–enough!" Zori shouted, cutting off Waraji's rant. "Just shut the fuck up about Sei-chan so we can get on with our fucking day already! We need to go find the rat and handle him first. After that we can have a relaxed day of intimidation, murder, and casual drug abuse."
"We are living the life, brother," Waraji nodded as he checked his sword and ensured it was properly secured to his person. "But, now that you mention our… duties to Gatou, I recall that we will need to pay a little visit to Jubei's at the end of our day."
"What? Cleaning up his body and burying it in an unmarked grave wasn't enough?" Zori asked as he pulled out his bumper and proceeded to indulge in a few bumps.
"When did we do that?" Waraji asked with a lopsided grin. "I remember watching Omaru and Nanase carry his body to the grave. I also seem to recall telling them to shut the fuck up and do all the shoveling, too."
"Oh, yeah!" *snort* "We sure did. I forgot that we're management now– the times they are a-changin'." Zori added, tilting his head back and making sure he got his drip going.
"Either way, I expect to find a rather sizeable stack of cocaine and heroin bricks—minus what we skim for ourselves—that will need to be returned to the warehouse." Waraji elaborated as he made to leave.
"And what happens if we get there only to find nothing?" Zori asked innocently.
"Then we start cutting people open and feeding them their own shit-filled intestines until someone spills the answers we want to hear," the older ronin said flippantly as he walked out the door, letting the sun warm his skin.
"And here I thought things were gonna change thanks to these new ninja," Zori sighed, following his partner, "but it seems like business as usual is here to stay. Joy."
The younger ronin stopped, taking an extra bump for good measure, before he crossed the threshold and shut the door behind him.
xxxXXXxxx
"So… are we just not gonna talk about it, then…?" Sakura fished casually.
A scathing glare was the only reply the kunoichi received as the two Genin continued to trudge along on their scouting patrol.
"Wow. Really?" the girl scoffed. "We're really just going to stroll along in silence, ignoring the rather violent," Sakura paused, searching for the proper word, "...beating Kakashi-sensei gave us? You don't even want to discuss what he did to you, Naruto-kun? You should at least let me have a second look at your face when we get back and can drop our henges…"
"I'll be fine." the blonde grunted.
"Yeah, hard head and all," Sakura dismissed with an airy wave of her hand, "but what about your feelings, sweetie? What about those scary places deep inside of you where your 'thick skin' can't protect you from Sensei's… pertinent words, Naruto?"
The jinchuuriki came to an abrupt halt, rounding on his teammate in barely restrained fury. "I'm doing this as a favor to you, Sakura. Do you think I want to be patrolling for nonexistent enemies in this shithole right now when I could be training like Sasuke?"
"I figured it was a fifty-fifty shot between you having an ulterior motive or just wanting to get away from Kakashi when you jumped at the chance to come out on patrol." Sakura conceded. "I was almost silly enough to believe you wanted to spend a little quality time with me, Naruto-kun." the kunoichi simpered. "Almost," she reiterated with a grin. "Almost. But I most certainly didn't see a favor coming my way!"
"Yeah, well I'm seriously reconsidering it if you're going to insist on being insufferable." Naruto bit back as he ducked under an overhang of branches. "I suggest you just keep on following me and wait for the explanation we both know you're going to get."
"Yeah… we could…" Sakura began, "...thing is though, when Kakashi turned his back on you during his whole 'you will not moonlight as an arrogant mercenary attempting to capitalize on the exploitation of a country's government and people to further your own foolish interests' speech, the look on your face made me certain you were going to pull out your sword and try to kill Sensei."
Naruto stopped and eyed his teammate with an unreadable expression. For a few seconds both Genin remained silent as Sakura continued to study the jinchuuriki with open curiosity.
"I've only ever seen that look on one other person's face before," she continued. "It was Anko's. She was taking me out to lunch when I was still an academy student and a Chuunin said he could still smell Orochimaru's stink on her skin." Sakura sighed heavily before continuing along in the direction Naruto had been leading them in. "I watched a little piece of her die that day because of that man's cruelty. It was weeks before they found his body, Naruto-kun. And they never did trace it back to Anko, even after all these years, her record is still clean."
Sakura stopped walking when she realized Naruto was no longer following her. She turned to face the blonde with an arched brow.
"Why are you telling me all this?" he finally asked, ignoring the fact that he had help Anko hide the body. It was rather embarrassing having to explain his actions to Lucien-sama when the Speaker had inevitably found out.
"Because, for just one second, you were going to do it, Naruto." Sakura finally answered. "You were going to try and kill Kakashi. Do you deny it? Am I incorrect in my observations?"
Naruto shuffled uncomfortably, not quite meeting Sakura's gaze.
"Well, at least you aren't insulting me by assuming I'd be stupid enough to believe a lie," the kunoichi scoffed with a shake of her head. "But your silence is incriminating enough."
"Seems moot seeing as how I didn't do anything…" the boy mumbled to himself.
"No, you didn't," Sakura agreed, "and Kakashi could have gotten his point across without hurting your feelings. But you were going to attack your commanding officer, you impulsive moron! What the hell is wrong with you!?"
"But I didn't. And he didn't hurt my feelings, Sakura!" Naruto snarled back. "I'm not some child with a scraped knee and a broken toy!"
"You are a child, you simpleton! And Kakashi is supposed to remember that he's a fucking adult who shouldn't take your opinion of him for granted," Sakura countered heatedly. "It's hard enough to kill nuke-nin as it is, we don't need his bullshit and your ego complicating things further."
"My ego?"
"Yes, your ego, Naruto. It was bad enough Kakashi metaphorically pantsed and spanked you in front of Sasuke and I, but what really pissed you off was the fact you found out that you aren't half as clever as you've deluded yourself into believing!" the fuming girl accused. "You thought you we're so clever, didn't you?" Sakura insisted, emphasizing her accusation with a poke to Naruto's chest. "'The Great Naruto Uzumaki,'" she drawled, her tone conveying implied finger quotes, "is just too clever to be figured out by anybody else, right? You are the only Genin deluded enough in his own superiority to think themselves capable of outsmarting an elite Jounin, much less Kakashi Hatake."
"Did you ever bother to note that, for all his threats and warnings, Kakashi-sensei still has no idea what is that I'm up to?" Naruto asked simply. "Did you ever bother to note that you don't even know what I have planned?"
Sakura frowned. "Are you saying that, even after that god-awful beating, you're still going to go through with whatever asinine scheme it is that you've cooked up?"
"I have a plan, and I intend to execute it. I admit that Kakashi is good, better than I gave him credit for, and because of that I didn't take as many precautions as I should have. I should have assumed he would want to keep an eye on all of us. Not doing so was clearly a mistake." Naruto deadpanned. "That 'beating,'" the jinchuuriki shuddered in remembrance, "was him conveying his desires to remain uninvolved. It doesn't change any of what actually needs to be done. It just means that I've got to be that much more secretive about it."
"And what, Naruto, is it that needs to be done, exactly?"
"We can't help these people if they aren't willing to help themselves." Naruto stated firmly before turning and resuming their journey. "I'm going to give them a little kick in the pants because Gatou has them so heeled, it's fucking pathetic."
"They're just regular people, Naruto," Sakura sighed as she followed after the blonde.
"So is Gatou, Sakura-chan, so is Gatou."
Sakura did not have a response to that, and so settled for frowning thoughtfully as they continued on. A few minutes later, the pair came to the edge of the forest and stopped a few paces before the tree line broke.
"We're here." Naruto said. "See that house?"
"Yes." Sakura answered, spotting the simple cottage that sat close to the forest. "What is this place?"
"This, Sakura, was the home of Jubei[last name]. He was a distributor for Gatou who made a very comfortable living off of the people in this area." Naruto answered. "It just so happens that he was the individual Kakashi ordered me to assassinate two nights ago when you were busy showing that rapist sheriff his own intestines."
"How did you know about the girl?" Sakura hissed. "I didn't mention that in my report to Kakashi-sensei!"
"I know many things, Doctor Haruno, psychologist extraordinaire," Naruto laughingly replied, "but I know that particular detail because of the shadow clone I had following you. I know Sasuke found his clone well before he reached his target. But, at last glance, he was headed to that fancy part of town- the one that doesn't smell like shit." the jinchuuriki revealed, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. "But I did get to see your little show, Sakura-chan. It broke my heart when I received the memories. You're far too pretty for tears."
"I hate you Naruto," Sakura spat bitterly as she turned to press the heels of her hands against her eyes. "I can't believe you watched me go through that. I hate that you saw me like that, you had no right."
"Yeah, you have every right to hate me, but I was curious to how you and Sasuke would handle it." the Genin dismissed. "You did well, though. He was a sick little fucker that needed it. Trust me, I saw the… accoutrements he had laying around."
"I'm still pissed at you, jackass!" the kunoichi shot back petulantly.
"I know, that's why I'm making up to you right now. I'm trying to make things square because I feel I owe you that as a teammate." Naruto insisted. "You're not an asshole like Sasuke," he added after a pause.
"Or you?" Sakura asked with a grin in spite of herself.
"Or me."
Sakura smiled as Naruto turned and made his way to the cottage's back door, beckoning her to follow.
"So what could be in a dead man's home that could possibly get me to forgive you, I wonder?" Sakura asked as the two Genin made their way into Jubei's home.
"Well," Naruto replied casually as he rounded a corner and stopped at another door, "like I said, 'ole Jubei was making quite the mint for himself. And, that night I came a-knocking, he just so happened to receive a brand-new shipment of goods!"
"Goods?" Sakura repeated with a raised brow.
"This, Sakura-chan," Naruto began with an air of bravado as he gestured to the sealed packages on Jubei's desk, "is pure, uncut cocaine!" the Genin revealed with a sweeping gesture. "But the brown ones are some bricks of fine china."
"I– what…" the girl spluttered. "'...fine china…?'" she finished lamely.
"Yeah, you know how families only bring out the china for special occasions?" Naruto explained, kneeling down to check under the desk. "Fine china has been refined and produced in a lab- it's a higher quality than the black tar most people come across."
"...really?" Sakura blinked. Since when did Naruto know about drugs?
"Yeah. The poppies are grown in Kaze no Kuni. Then they get shipped to Kusa no Kuni—don't even get me started on the racket between Kusagakure and the government of Kusa no Kuni—and the poppies that stay become black tar." Naruto elaborated before standing back up and placing a wooden box on the desk. "The poppies that leave Kusa no Kuni get distributed to other parts of the continent and the ones that make it to Yugakure become high quality china!"
"..."
The room was quiet, save for the sounds of Naruto fiddling with the contents of the small box, as Sakura's analytical mind took in the information her teammate had just volunteered. From a purely logistical standpoint, it made perfect sense. Kaze had the climate for the plant the drug was derived from, and Kusa was at a prime location to reach the rest of the countries populating the continent. The kunoichi wasn't exactly sure how Yugakure become designated as the… classy—it wasn't the right word, but it was the first that came to mind—heroin producing country.
Sakura could buy it, it was most definitely reasonable. But, it most certainly did not explain-
"How in the hell do you know so much about drugs of all things, Naruto!?" The girl asked incredulously.
"Not 'drugs', Sakura-chan, heroin." he stressed, pulling out a pair of buds, much to the kunoichi's continuing shock. "I got a guy," Naruto continued, thinking of Tetsuo and his habits, "and he really knows his stuff."
"...you have a guy?"
"Yeah!" the blonde chirped as he proceeded to gut a cigar. "And I make it a priority to be well informed whenever it's possible!"
"Know thy enemy," Naruto thought as he recalled a lesson Lucien-sama had explained to him personally.
And Tetsuo certainly wasn't a friend.
It was the first of several visits throughout Naruto's youth from the Night Mother's Speaker that revolved around carefully worded explanations and... demonstrations that dated all the way back to the night he killed Tarou and was taught the Tenets.
He idly wondered how much that had to do with the Kyuubi, deeper still, he wondered if he was doing this out of remorse for killing Sakura's traitorous father all those years ago.
"And you bringing me down to a dead man's basement to watch you smoke pot and listen to a lecture on the, ah… finer... points of poppy's journey from plant to drug equates to paying me back how?" the girl asked with an arched brow.
"Simple!" the Genin chirped "My guy will easily pay thirty-five thousand ryou for a single one of those cocaine bricks just so he can flip it and pocket some quick cash. I'll handle the whole deal; all you have to do is meet me…" Naruto paused as a most brilliant idea struck him, "...at Yashitoba's," he continued in a manner that dripped too-cool-for-school, "for the hand off, Sakura-chan."
"And why, pray tell, do we have to meet at one of the nicest restaurants in the Village, Naruto-kun?" Sakura asked dangerously.
"Because no one is going to suspect two young lovers out on a romantic meeting of being up to no good." Naruto said with a sly wink, before sobering and looking at Sakura seriously. "No one but you needs to know about this money, Sakura. It's not exactly legal to make thirty-five thousand dollars without paying any taxes, much less doing it by selling cocaine. Tell no one, don't make any suspicious purchases, and if your mother absolutely has to know then it's a bonus from a mission for… eh, make-up-a-reason."
"...fair enough," Sakura grudgingly admitted after a short pause. "But why are you doing this, Naruto?" she suddenly asked, narrowing her eyes at her grinning teammate. "I don't believe for a second that you're as altruistic as you want me to think."
The blonde merely reached over and grabbed one of the bricks that Sakura identified as not-cocaine and placed it closer to himself. "My guy won't sell this, but he'll sure buy it from me to keep for himself."
"And how much are going to get for that?"
"Mmmmm, for china like this Tetsuo would have to give me a hundred thousand ryou."
"So why can't we just give him two of those and split the two hundred thousand?"
"Because if we gave him two kilograms I would need to find a new guy shortly after mine overdosed. You can't give a junkie two kilograms, Sakura." Naruto chided gently.
"Well, I guess I can't blame you for taking the hundred thousand– you're doing all the leg work," the girl shrugged before quickly backtracking. "Not that I've agreed to this!" she hastily insisted, pointing a damning finger at the blonde. "You're up to something!"
"Well, you're getting more money than I am, Sakura-chan. I'm trading the heroin for a… favor from my venerable Tetsuo… sempai," Naruto offered as he neared the completion of his joint, secretly hoping Sakura had been too preoccupied to notice him ruin the blunt by ripping the cigar, forcing him to make use of the thin white papers. "He's the kind of guy whose favors can be much more valuable than money– he's a piece of shit like that."
"Well, I suppose I'll have to take your word on that one," Sakura deadpanned, "but would you mind answering one last question for me?"
"Anything," the blonde responded magnanimously, "for you, Sakura-chan."
The kunoichi rolled her eyes. "If everything you've said is true, why even tell me the details?" she asked. "Why not just give me the money and lie about the reason? Why even create the loose end?"
"He plans to offer you a share of the proceeds from the drugs in exchange for your services as a courier because he knows Kakashi-sensei is scrutinizing him now."
Naruto jerked up, nearly dropping the semi-completed joint, as Sakura gasped in surprise at their intruder.
"I follow the people who follow me." Sasuke stated simply.
The blonde remained silent, choosing to seal his joint with a deft lick of his tongue as he continued eyeing his uninvited teammate warily–
"You wanna use me as your mule!?" Sakura hissed, punching Naruto roughly in the shoulder. "Is that why you dragged me down here? To smuggle drugs for you?"
"No!" Naruto denied, rubbing his shoulder. "I came out here to get away from Kakashi-sensei, first and foremost," he insisted as he sparked the joint. "I was gonna have to talk to you anyway if I wanted to apologize– this is just hitting two birds with one stone, Sakura-chan."
"Then why were you mum on my role as your personal drug smuggler!?" the girl hissed fervently, striking Naruto once more for good measure.
"Because, Sakura," the blonde bit out from behind a cloud of smoke, "I figured I'd warm you up to the idea—not unlike foreplay—before I just slipped it in!"
The jinchuuriki took the brick of heroin and the kilo of cocaine and stacked them before pulling out a basic sealing scroll. "This is all you'll be carrying," he continued, channeling chakra into the scroll and causing the selected bricks to disappear in a puff of smoke, "and it's nothing more than a rolled up piece of paper that'll fit in your hip pouch– if Kakashi-sensei somehow finds it just say you don't know how it got there and he'll come kill me instead."
"You seem to have put quite a bit of thought into this Naruto," Sasuke remarked idly as his Sharingan recorded the different patterns of smoke whorls billowing out of his blonde teammate's mouth. "Certainly more than you put into your half-hearted attempts to tail me last night."
"Well, I owed Sakura-chan on account of acting like an ass on the way to Wave, asshole," Naruto retorted before turning to Sakura. "Are you actually gonna try and tell me that you don't need the money?" he asked with a raised brow.
"...no," the girl admitted, "D-ranks are pretty… humble pay, and I know rent is always stressing out Mom." Sakura sighed and looked away. "With this, I could take care of the whole year's rent and start myself a little nest egg."
"Of course you could!" Naruto agreed enthusiastically. "I sure as hell would keep it for myself if I wasn't trying to promote team unity," he explained, leaving out the fact that he didn't technically need the money. "But I owe you one, and I had planned on apologizing to Sasuke for messing with his turn as team leader and making right with him as well," the Genin insisted before adding, "sure as hell reconsidering that now…"
"Yet the feeling of guilt for following and attempting to spy on me never reared its head." the Uchiha deadpanned.
Naruto only grinned, smoke billowing from his nostrils like a dragon.
"God, fine," Sakura relented, snatching up the scroll and placing it in her hip pouch "just don't fuck it up, Naruto, because I will hang you out to dry without a second thought. Yashitoba's," she snarled derisively, "like I can't see through that…"
"Great!" the jinchuuriki enthused. "Now if you'll just hit this to seal things up, we can leave this depressing basement and swap back onto patrol," Naruto nodded, holding the joint up to Sakura."
"Hn." Sasuke snorted—yes! Actually snorted—as Sakura gaped like a fish.
"Sorry!" Naruto bowed hastily to his Uchiha teammate. "After," he drawled painfully, "I proceed to make things right with Sasuke-sama as well…"
"I… that's not– not that, you idiot!" she hissed vehemently. "I'm talking about– you want me to smoke drugs!?" Sakura shrieked, her indignity taking her voice to shrill new territory. "What two wires could be crossed in that half-done-jello brain of yours to make you think that would be a good idea!?"
"Well, first you can settle down with the high horse, Sakura– this isn't an after school special." Naruto replied calmly, hitting the joint to keep it going. "I killed a guy last night, we killed some guys last night, and we're definitely gonna kill some more guys in the foreseeable future," he listed off, "so don't get all high and mighty over a joint between teammates. We kill people together, Sakura-chan, the three of us are gonna see, do, and hear a lot together."
"Well forgive me if your morally ambiguous logic doesn't exactly sway me to your cause," the kunoichi began, "but I suppose I'll start dismantling your opinions by pointing out that the… people," she spat the hate-filled word out like one might a mouthful of mud, "we killed were shit stains on society. It wasn't the most difficult of things. I'd even call it easy, all things considered. I imagine it'll be much harder to kill actual shinobi."
"It's not the same." Naruto dismissed easily. "They can defend themselves. At the very least a Genin can try to get off a kawarimi before he dies. But the people from last night? They were truly and wholly helpless. Assassination is not shinobi combat."
"Hn."
"Something to add, Sasuke?" Naruto shot back.
"Only feelings of great shame for actually agreeing with you for once." the Uchiha drawled, pushing thoughts of Itachi and his bloody ninjato from his mind.
Assassination entailed that every measurable step had been taken to ensure your target was as powerless as feasibly possible. Itachi had certainly shown an aptitude for it that memorable night under the full moon.
"See? Even Sasuke knows. We do what we do for the village because it's our job, I get that." Naruto conceded with a nod towards his pink-haired teammate. "But what we just did is supposed to be a big deal, and it's because the average human being is supposed to have a block about killing people just because they were told to. We did Chuunin work." Naruto stressed with a glance at his two teammates. "Whatever it is that's going on in this country is serious enough
to have Kakashi-sensei fast tracking our training. I imagine whatever it is that could twist his panties like that could actually be a serious threat."
There was a pause as all three Genin let their minds wander over what exactly that threat could be as they were confronted with the levity of being "out in the cold" for the first time in their lives.
"And, secondly," Naruto continued, capitalizing on the brief cessation of conversation, "You smoking this gives me a little insurance that you won't go running to Kakashi-sensei." He hit the joint once more and again offered it to Sakura. "It lets me know I can trust you and that you're not a fucking narc! Haven't you seen movies?"
"Ugh!" the girl scoffed in exacerbation. "Fine!" she snarled, snatching the joint from the grinning jinchuuriki. "Are you–" cough "–happy, you ass!?" she demanded from behind a hazy cloud of smoke. "Could you possibly be anymore juvenile?"
"I look forward to killing more people and finding out with you, Sakura-chan!" the blonde snapped with a salute before taking the joint and turning towards Sasuke. "Now, I wanna get the fuck out of here, so tell me what I can do—"
"–I want a favor." Sasuke interrupted with a smirk.
"—for you. I–" Naruto paused, glaring at his teammate. "...fine," he relented with a shake of his head. "Any idea as to what it is, exactly, you want that favor to be?"
"No." the Uchiha replied succinctly. "You just seem like the type of person I'd like to have owe me a favor."
Sasuke didn't exactly grin—it was more of a malicious smirk—as Naruto scowled petulantly, clearly upset at being lumped into the same group as his friend. The jinchuuriki's discomfort was one of the few bright spots of being on Team Seven.
"Yeah, well fuck you, I suppose," Naruto bit back.
"Why? Trying to make Sakura jealous before your date?"
Naruto's reply was forestalled as the girl in question's snort of giggling laughter broke up the tension as all eyes turned to her.
Sakura's hands flew up to her mouth, cheeks reddening under the scrutiny, as she tried to control her laughter. "...it was funny…" she defended lamely.
"I guess she's 'feeling it'." Naruto deadpanned before turning to Sasuke and once again hitting the joint. "Your turn, Uchiha." the blonde stated, holding the joint out to his teammate.
Sasuke eyed the joint warily, Sharingan revolving as it continued to record the multiple plumes of smoke floating away from its glowing ember.
"We all know you're gonna hate it, bastard—you hate everything, after all—so you might as well do it to avoid being called a pussy." Naruto added sagely. "And it's the only way you're gonna get a favor out of me."
"I have no response to that." Sasuke admitted before taking the offered joint and inhaling deeply.
Another of Naruto's comments was lost to shock when, as the Uchiha made to hand him back the joint, Sakura's hand snapped out to intercept the pass-off and take the joint for herself.
"What…?" she asked self-consciously after exhaling a lungful of smoke. "When else are we going to have an opportunity to do something like this? If half of what you say is true, Naruto, then we're about to fight a fucking war."
"Yet you don't seem half as moist as Anko-chan would be at the prospect of large-scale slaughter, Sakura-chan." Naruto pointed out genially.
"If only you put the same effort into being discreet as you did with your quips, Naruto. Perhaps Kakashi-sensei wouldn't have beat you as savagely as he did." Sasuke interrupted, forestalling Sakura's scathing retort. "Though I confess I'll forever treasure the imprinted memory of his snap-jab breaking your nose." The Uchiha allowed the minutest quirk of his lips. "His form was perfect."
"And here, is the sole drawback of the 'sweet leaf,' boys and girls," Naruto drawled. "Even the silent ones become little chatterboxes. I don't think I've heard you string this many words together in the past six years I've known you, Sasuke."
"Hn."
"Though, it'll definitely help you cope with whatever it is you feel from telling that woman exactly how you were going to kill her." Naruto retorted casually, killing the mood perfectly and dropping the temperature ten degrees. "You two practically had it worked out step by step!"
A morbid silence swallowed Team 7 as Sasuke's Sharingan whirled in remembrance of his first night on his own in Wave. He had accepted it, despite Yuna's pleas for mercy. She begged for her children, he wasn't there for them anyway.
Just her.
Yuna Manako. Great bookkeeper and assistant to Gatou.
She was in too deep–
"How?" Sasuke finally managed. "I watched your clone dispel. I saw it!"
"You did," Naruto nodded while Sakura gaped, the joint long forgotten by the three ninja, "and I can promise you that that is exactly what you saw. My clone was sloppy," the jinchuuriki grinned, "and I'd imagine you… hn'd… quite superiorly at my predictability just before you shunshin'd and elbowed me in the back of the skull–"
"—Then how did you—"
"–I bet you were even disappointed when you found out it wasn't me and that little Sharingan of yours showed you just exactly what it was that you expected to see." Naruto continued, standing up and stretching his back. "You didn't even bother to ask yourself if the clone was a distraction, man. After you popped the clone…" the blonde tsked with a feral grin, "you didn't even bother to check to see if I was following you, as well."
Sasuke stood gob smacked. "I was certain you would follow Sakura personally," he finally uttered, "I was sure of it… I–" the Uchiha shook his head, "That was your one and only freebie, Naruto."
There was a pregnant silence that suffocated the room for a second-
"...holy shiiit, Naruto!" Sakura gaped. "What the fuck!?"
"Hey!" he interrupted quickly. "I never intended to use what I saw against you. I get it, invasion of privacy– I fucked up!" Naruto moaned exasperatedly with a flourish of his hands. "I'm making that right, now! You!" he spouted, pointing at Sakura, "Money! And you–" he turned to Sasuke, "–a favor. I did a wrong and I feel real bad on my insides! Please forgive and all that, but before you beat me and hang me on a cross, can I ask you two just one fucking question?"
"Gee, apology accepted, Naruto-kun," Sakura drawled in her best deadpan, "please promise you won't use your charms to seduce me into your bed after we go out on our date–"
"—how could you resist—" Sasuke acknowledged with a nod to Naruto's apology.
"–Naruto-kun, and I'll gladly answer your question. I'm sure even Sasuke-kun wants to hear this." the girl finished sarcastically, feigning joyous enrapture.
"Now everyone's got jokes…" the jinchuuriki mumbled. "The question I want to ask, my quick to anger teammates, is a simple one: is having a clone for back up really so terrible of a crime? If things get… dicey, would it not behoove you to have an independently thinking wellspring of chakra at your disposal?"
"More chakra would benefit everybody, Naruto," Sakura agreed, "but that sure as hell doesn't mean I want you following me and spying on my every waking moment!"
"You don't seem to mind it when Sasuke does it," Naruto countered. "The Sharingan copies everything it sees, so I know he's got the memory of you bending over and showing us your cute, pink thong yesterday burned into his retinas. I sure as shit do." he added with a wolfish grin as Sakura's cheeks burned red. "Anko would be so proud."
"You sneaky little perverts!" Sakura hissed. "I ought to skin you both alive and sodomize you with your own severed cocks!" the girl raged, brandishing a kunai from her holster.
"Tch. I highly doubt you would dress the way you do if you didn't at least like some of the attention you got, Sakura." Sasuke commented.
The girl blinked, her snarl turning into a coquettish grin. "Did you like what you saw, Sasuke-kun?"
"Hn."
"Anyway!" Naruto interjected, regaining control of the conversation. "The two of you think about it, alright? I can assure you that I'm only scratching the surface of what can be done with kage bunshin, and I have no intention of stopping anytime soon."
"Do what you will, Naruto," Sasuke shrugged. "But remember," he warned, narrowing his eyes dangerously, "I'll be watching you closely."
"You do that, Sasuke," Naruto said with a chuckle, "you might learn a thing or two. Just remember to watch my back if you're so dead-set on keeping tabs on me. You might as well be useful and keep me from getting stabbed in the back by eyebrow-less nuke-nin–"
"—or hacked to bits—" Sakura added.
"–and I'll watch Sakura's back," the jinchuuriki smirked. "Very. Closely."
"Ass!" the girl snarled, hitting her teammate in the shoulder as Sasuke took the opportunity to shunshin away. "Don't make me use Truth-teller to gouge out your wandering eyes!" she threatened.
"You wound me, Sakura-chan. Is it such a crime to have an eye for the attractive? Sasuke, oblivious as he might be, actually made a fair point earlier…"
"And that is…?" the kunoichi asked in spite of herself.
"You wouldn't dress like that if you weren't looking to catch some eyes," Naruto grinned. "I'm sure Anko has told you the tactical benefits of dressing like that, but what she probably didn't tell you is that she likes the attention as well. Your peeking thong might as well be her casually flashed nipples, Sakura. Don't be mad that you've caught my eye instead of Sasuke's," the Genin advised, "take advantage of the fact and use me in some hastily planned bad decisions to make Sasuke jealous!"
"Gee, thanks for the advice," the girl drawled. "I'll be sure to scream extra loud when I jump you."
"And I might just make you," the blonde grinned. "War and the ever increasing chance of death are proving to be quite the pair of aphrodisiacs. Being confronted with my own mortality is quickly making me a…" Naruto pondered thoughtfully before suddenly leering at Sakura, "…romantic, Sakura-chan."
"Is that so?" the kunoichi asked with a grin in spite of herself.
"It is." The jinchuuriki affirmed. "But it's gonna require that the two of us stay alive long enough for it to become any fun. And Sasuke, too, I suppose," he added after moment. "If he died it'd probably be a real cock and/or twat block." Naruto nodded confidently. "Best way to avoid all that is to watch each other's backs and maybe accept the fact that every once and awhile a clone or two might pop out of nowhere to help you handle business."
"Well, we'll see," the girl sighed with a mild sense of finality. "Just be a little more open, Naruto. Trust and back-watching go both ways." She poked her teammate in the chest. "Don't keep us out of the loop again."
"Duly noted, Sakura-chan. I'll do a better job of including you two." Naruto promised with a disarming smile. "From now on you'll both know when I send a clone with either of you."
"Just don't make me regret it. Or I'll sic Anko on your tender, virgin ass. You know how she is, Naruto– she'll treat the fruit that no one else has tasted extra special."
The Genin shivered theatrically. "The things she would do to my supple ass are truly the stuff of nightmares. I'm sure there will be no need to involve her in either this or our business arrangement," Naruto assured Sakura gravely. "In fact, I'm willing to bet she'll be much more impressed if you—and by extension, Sasuke and myself—come home an accomplished war veteran."
"Even Anko-neechan hasn't fought in a war," Sakura muttered to herself before eyeing the blonde with a glare that promised retribution should services not be rendered accordingly. "Fine. No Anko." Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "For now."
"My many humble thanks, Sakura-chan," Naruto bowed demurely, making the girl giggle. "I find your countenance much improved and your disposition much more reasonable when you are stoned."
The girl blinked. "Really?"
"Sure! You haven't been hitting me half as hard as you usually do. A guy can really appreciate a thing like that."
"Well, thanks… I guess…" the kunoichi muttered dispassionately.
"I live to serve, Sakura-chan," Naruto bowed humbly. "I just want our team to be successful at war, really. I can only imagine how much better it is to win a war as opposed to losing one. I guess we should be thankful this is only a civil war," the blonde chuckled. "And if, in the process of winning aforementioned war, I just so happen to score a date with my team's sexy kunoichi…" Naruto grinned coyly at Sakura and sidled up to her, draping an arm over her shoulders. "…well, that's just icing on the cake, now isn't it?"
"Ease up there, lover boy," Sakura advised, gracefully sliding out of Naruto's grasp before he could get any… ideas. "I'd hate for you to get your hopes before you realized a date isn't going to get you… whatever it is you're after."
"I'm confident that if I can get you into Yashitoba's, the rest will fall into place. The hard part's over, you already said 'yes.'" Naruto laughed good naturedly. "You won't be able to resist my charm forever."
"Get over yourself already, Naruto." Sakura said, smiling in spite of herself. "There is such a thing as too much confidence, ya know."
"I wouldn't know, Sakura-chan," Naruto dismissed casually, "but I do know that you had better take time and enjoy these little distractions. Their time is most definitely waning in the sunset."
"So you say," the kunoichi drawled, "and true it may be. But I also happen to know that you're going to find it impossible to hide from our enemies if that head of yours gets any bigger."
Naruto chuckled. "Fair point," he admitted as he made his way to the door, and waited for Sakura to follow, "just don't forget what I said earlier– about keeping an eye out and looking underneath the underneath, if at the very least just to keep Kakashi-sensei happy and off our backs."
"Sure." The girl nodded affably. "Trust me, Anko might not cut my cock off, but that doesn't mean she has any compunctions about using a kunai to feed me my own nipples." Sakura assured Naruto. "That and Kakashi-sensei hits hard." She added as an afterthought.
"True, true," the jinchuuriki nodded in sage agreement. "Plus," he continued with a cheshire grin, "actually looking underneath the underneath, will be a surefire way to distinguish yourself from our more, ah… challenged teammate."
"Challenged?" Sakura repeated with a brow raised in speculation. "How do you figure that?"
"Well, for starters, he didn't even bother to make sure I wasn't a shadow clone."
The girl scoffed. "Please, Naruto. That may work on Sasuke when he's fixating on murdering someone, but not me." Sakura shook her head. "I'd know. And Sasuke-kun would, too."
"Would you really?" Naruto considered with a scratch of his chin.
"I would."
Naruto smiled brightly before swatting Sakura firmly on the backside, causing the girl to jump up with an indignant yelp. "Sure about that?" he asked confidently.
The reaction was instantaneous as Sakura's jab, a real one this time, lashed out, lightning quick, and struck Naruto in the throat.
Sakura watched dispassionately as her teammate collapsed and–
…disappeared in a poof of white smoke.
"…huh?" the girl eloquently surmised.
In the corner, the shadow clone henge'd as a brick of heroin laughed to itself. Thankful to finally have something to break up the monotony of watching the sun travel across the floor between stretches of watching the bugs crawl and buzz.
Watching one of its brothers get high with the boss' teammates might as well have been the new Princess Gale movie.
xxxXXXxxx
Naruto smiled as the clone's memories returned to him and briefly relished the sensation of Sakura's—in his humble opinion—spectacularly firm butt.
The clone had done a good job of running damage control for the jinchuuriki's previous fuck up. Needless to say, he had learned the hard way not to let Kakashi know of his more "freelance" activities.
And, thanks to his ability to make a nigh-unlimited supply of the chakra constructs, he was able to send a pair of them off to pose as Sakura and himself, thus freeing him from the monotony of patrolling and allowing the young Genin to focus at the task at hand.
Naruto exhaled deeply and allowed himself to contemplate his surroundings without the use of his eyes.
Around him, birds chirped as they flapped their wings and fed on the wild berries growing in clusters under the shade provided by the trees. The wind rustled, offering a sweet reprieve from the godawful humidity that was all too common in Wave Country. As the breeze licked against his skin, Naruto thought that it was almost enough to make up for the fact that merely stepping foot outside was enough to make non-natives sweat through their clothes.
Almost.
There was a lone mango tree growing amongst the various other trees that lined the small clearing. Even Naruto's casually-at-best trained nose couldn't miss the pungent aroma that hung in the air, letting the jinchuuriki know the sweet fruit was ripe for the picking.
Naruto exhaled once more, and turned his focus inward.
No longer fixated on his place in the world around him, he turned his thoughts to the world that he encompassed.
In his stomach sat the rice he had eaten at lunch, continuing to provide his body with nourishment. His body was going to burn every calorie—and fast—as his metabolism was wont to do.
His hair—currently henge'd black—was matted from the day's sweat and stuck to the back of his neck, adding to Naruto's sweltering discomfort.
His lower back was still healing from where Kakashi had punched him, the blow causing the blonde to scream before crumpling to the floor in front of his teammates.
A small grimace of distaste threatened to reveal itself, but the blonde calmly dismissed it by accepting that it had happened, and was therefore beyond his control anymore– his efforts would be better spent ensuring it never happen again.
Briefly, there was the threat of fear. It bloomed quickly in his chest, like it does in the hearts of all men, a hydra sprouting a new and terrible head to attack the spirit.
Fear was indeed real, and this time it had shown a familiar face.
"There were five, older than time, that pursued each and every human being," Hamaki had said so long ago. "Death, Life, Success, Failure, and The Unknown. These Five are the destroyer of all men."
"'…Before I can become Fearless, I must obliterate them all…'" the Genin whispered, exhaling deeply as a rabbit rustled about in the bushes.
"Heights!?" Hamaki had roared with laughter during their second meeting, before grabbing Naruto and taking him to the top of the Hokage Monument via shunshin. "Fear is irrational, Naruto-kun, watch–" he had said, shaking his head good-naturedly, "I am going to catch you, every time," the man promised before throwing a screaming Naruto off the side of the mountain.
Naruto inhaled calmly, affirmed in the knowledge that he would fail many, many, more times before he prevented another incident like today's lesson. Learning was a part of life, and it was most efficiently done as a result of failure.
One never stopped learning, he recalled, exhaling at the memory of Hamaki catching him just before he hit the ground.
The man had smiled, briefly, before noticing the urine stains on Naruto's pants and—by extension—his Jounin vest, and informing the shaking child that, when they got to the top of the mountain, he was going to throw Naruto off—again and again—until he stopped screaming.
The maniacally grinning shinobi had then proceeded to walk back up the mountain with Naruto dangling over his shoulder, screaming and blubbering incoherently as the ground got further and further away.
One step at a time.
Naruto's heart beat dutifully along as he continued to breathe and look into himself. Fear could only be defeated by being overcome. To overcome fear, one first had to acknowledge it and accept that such a step was merely the first on a very long journey.
And one day, so too would it be Naruto's turn to teach.
The wind played about merrily, mercifully cooling the humidity-burdened jinchuuriki as he continued to meditate in search of something unknown inside of himself. Hoping, that if he was able to master himself, he would gain the clarity to find what he was seeking.
Yet the goal of his introspection remained elusive. While the nigh-unlimited font of demonic chakra formerly belonging to the Kyuubi was a part of him, it was currently buried so deep under sealing arrays that Naruto questioned whether he would ever be able to dig deep enough inside of himself to reach and command it.
Shinobi didn't go around handing out how-to pamphlets to village jinchuuriki, after all. In the grand scheme of things, Naruto figured that there was little difference between a rampaging Kyuubi and a Genin with an ocean of chakra and a hard-on for clandestine murder.
So he was going to be on his own for the foreseeable future.
Naruto was currently enacting his first experiment: simply ask the Kyuubi for its help. To do this, he knew he would first have to contact the demon, a task the Genin was hoping to accomplish with meditation. At the very least, the practice would calm him down enough to learn from Kakashi's lesson and his own foolish mistakes.
But perseverance had its rewards. Unknown to even his teammates, the blonde tended to haunt the Hokage Monument whenever his musings demanded it– it was his go to "happy place."
He'd gladly let Hamaki throw him off another thousand times if it meant that he would get to keep the feeling he got when he stood atop that mountain and gazed down on everyone around him.
"Still…" the blonde groused in spite of his calming recollections, "I've got a fucking war to survive here, you know– pay up and give me some of that chakra!"
The wind shifted directions and the soft grass populating the clearing continued its lazy dance as a few leaves fell and floated to the ground below.
Finally, Naruto's calm demeanor began to struggle against his meditative calm as his frustration mounted. It wasn't necessarily his lack of progress that was irking him so. Rather, it was the overwhelming sense of confusion the boy felt at simply not knowing what it was that he actually wanted.
Every scroll and book the blonde was able to read defined the bijuu as forces of nature; the results of chakra gathering in such concentration and excess that it becomes tangible.
Yet why did they assume the physical form of animals? Did this imply a modicum of sapience? Were the bijuu making calculated decisions and choosing to antagonize humanity, or were they simply wandering hurricanes of chakra?
It left Naruto confused as to whether he should expect to actually speak with the Kyuubi, or merely master the channeling of what was his own wellspring of power?
"If anything," the blonde thought petulantly, "it should be eager to get off its lazy ass and contribute to the team!"
"And what makes you think that someone such as I would care about your insignificant problems and pathetic struggles?"
Naruto's blood ran cold. "I– I swear I didn't–"
"You are a thirteen year old boy who will die—in the next hundred years, even—a small and meaningless death." The notion of living for a mere century was forced with such vitriol into Naruto's consciousness that the jinchuuriki vomited a small amount of rice into the back of his throat. "I, little boy, am a being beyond your understanding who has seen this world destroyed nine times over!"
"I didn't realize," Naruto began, thinking fast as he swallowed his fears along with a small reminder of his lunch, "I didn't think you were actually–"
"Sapient!" there was a roar of laughter that rattled Naruto's skull. "Try sentient, and knowledgeable beyond your comprehension, monkey! Tsunami's, earthquakes, and crumbled mountains with but a flick of my tail, correct?"
"Well, yes– that's the legend, I didn't write that," Naruto hastily insisted. "I don't even remember the attack–"
"The forces of what your species perceives "Nature" to be mean nothing to me, mortal!" the Kyuubi laughed uproariously, causing Naruto to go a little light-headed. "Every day your existence continues, be thankful the notion of using my tails to pull apart the fabric of your world's reality has yet to enter my whimsy. Be thankful that absolute annihilation to the point of apocalyptic extinction is boring and overdone." Naruto sweat thickly as he felt the creature grin. "As you stumble over the buried-and-turned-to-dust bones of the countless civilizations my brethren and I have exterminated before yours, be thankful that we've matured over the millennia and no longer desire the dying screams of living things on this planet to serenade our souls."
"But you can be sealed and contained by us," Naruto couldn't help but point out. "As powerful as you are, if I die, then you'll go with me…"
"True, I can permit myself to be sealed by your kind, but I could have just as easily unleashed a modicum of my power and turned your continent to glass," the Kyuubi conceded. "But where would the fun in that be? You're species is far too young to know this, but mass extinction is rather boring and quiet. Furthermore," Naruto could feel the demon fox's arrogance rolling over him as it paused briefly, "it should be noted that it cost your kind the life and soul of the most powerful one among you just to banish me for the century or so you might live plus the requisite decade it will take me to reform my consciousness."
Now that was news to Naruto. Everyone was under the belief that bijuu were connected to their jinchuuriki, through life and death. The current belief was that the Death God's seal was going to hold even through death. This raised several questions in Naruto's mind revolving around what sealing arrays were used on other jinchuuriki.
The Fourth Hokage was rumored to have studied and worked on Naruto's seal for several years, the methodology for which he had only even begun to explain to a single individual. Minato had deemed the information too dangerous to release, fearing that other villages may use it to create jinchuuriki. That little fact at least told Naruto that other villages were using inferior arrays—at least in terms of success rate—but did not sate his curiosity at what would happen to their bijuu when they died.
There were indeed many questions for the young Genin to ponder. After, however, he dealt with his current situation.
"What is it like being sealed inside of me?" Naruto asked, once again regulating his breathing.
"Now that is quite the interesting question, monkey. It's not torturous, per se… it's more humiliating than anything else."
"'Humiliating?'" Naruto repeated, genuinely intrigued. "What do you mean by that, exactly?"
"Suffice it to say that I am forced to experience everything you do. When your sensei coddles you with his precious 'love-taps' I feel it as if I were you. When your heart beats uncontrollably before you take a life, I am reminded of what it is to be… thrilled. And," theKyuubi explained with absolute relish, "when you lust after ripening females, I am reminded of my own conquests."
"Please…" Naruto struggled, actually blushing red in embarrassment, "…please tell me that you didn't–"
"–experience every detail commemorating the first time you pulled out that tiny, mortal cock of yours and gratified yourself with the memory of your excursion into the females' bathing area?" the Kyuubi finished for Naruto, causing the blonde to groan in disgust. "Truly, it reminded me of a lesser being whose genitals I mutilated before mating with his claimed; you and he have a lot in common."
"Gee, thanks… I guess," Naruto responded lamely. "Though I get the impression you don't hold my species or I in very high regard…"
"True." The Kyuubi responded honestly. "But don't feel too bad about it, meat bag. Instead, turn it into a lesson on your place in the Universe as a whole."
"A lesson? How so?"
"Start by asking yourself why you don't hold any ant you've ever come across in high regard. Ask yourself if you've ever bothered to meditate upon their struggles, or have you simply crushed them underfoot, never once bothering to stop and look twice before you stepped on the next ant." The ancient being advised. "If you do this, monkey, you just might understand why you could never hope to perceive the indignities your pathetic, mortal body has forced upon me as a result of our… symbiotic relationship."
"…I see…" Naruto eventually replied before taking another series of calming breaths. "I will consider what you have said."
"You do that, man-cub." The bijuu dismissed. "Who knows, you may even learn something. But I believe we have more pressing matters to discuss, no? I can feel your undisguised lust for my power, boy. It makes me ponder on what a human being could be capable of with power beyond his wildest dreams…"
"You mean you'd actually give–"
"Give!" the Kyuubi parroted uproariously. "No, flesh bag, I won't be 'giving' you anything. You don't deserve anything, and the fact that you might be stupid enough to think so offends my mighty sensibilities." Naruto's head throbbed as the bijuu let the weight of its displeasure touch the jinchuuriki's consciousness. "My opinion of you… lowers."
"…then what is it exactly you intend, Kyuubi-sama?" Naruto asked after swallowing his pride. "I have no problem admitting that I covet your power and will do anything within the realm of possibility—save harming the Brotherhood or my team—to wield it."
"Will you, now?" the Kyuubi asked, intrigued. "That's good to know because I intend to make you earn it, monkey. You want the power of a God?" The demon scoffed dismissively. "You don't deserve it. There are whole dimensions beyond your understanding, boy; how could you possibly hope to even comprehend, much less wield, MY power?"
Naruto didn't respond immediately, instead choosing to carefully ponder his response. If anything, the reprieve gave him time to cope with the fact that he had actually managed to contact the Kyuubi! It was talking!
More importantly, it was intelligent. Whatever shinobi thought they knew about the bijuu, was clearly the product of misinformation. This was no mindless chakra construct; this was a highly intelligent being with an agenda.
The blonde shivered.
"Don't bother thinking about it, monkey," the Kyuubi interrupted, "your consciousness is open to me like a book is to a Hyuuga. And, being privy to what's hidden between the lines, you might as well just speak your mind."
"I don't care whether I deserve it or not, I have it," Naruto admitted, "I'm more than willing to prove myself and learn all you have to teach, but if you refuse I'll spend every second of my existence learning how to take it from you."
"Yes you would, human," the bijuu agreed with a chuckle. "Despite being a hairless monkey, you endeavor to better yourself. I see the greed in your soul, the lust for power and the endless riches it brings, just as clearly as you see the clouds in the sky. Miraculously enough, you have a minute inkling at what I can do and you want it for yourself."
"Yes."
"In the entirety of your species' existence there has only ever been one of you to wield the power of a god." The demon answered, piquing Naruto's interest. "After that, nothing in your world has ever been the same. It was the first time the greater powers of the Immaterium ever bothered to deign an interest in this rock."
"What is your point?" Naruto finally snapped. "If you're trying to make me think I don't want your power, you're doing a terrible job at it! I'm not looking to change the world," the Genin continued, "I rather like it the way it is as well as my place in it. Your power is a means to an end. It is a weapon to strike at my enemies with. It is a tapestry to weave my legend on. And it is a shield to protect my family with. I understand and respect that you are apparently a mythical being beyond my current understanding, Kyuubi-sama, but I'm just a guy who kills people for business and sometimes pleasure."
Naruto rolled his shoulders, mentally grinning. "I'm just trying to be the best at it. 'Dear-Old-Dad' apparently set the bar quite high."
"Ahhhhh, yes... the human I let transfer me to my new container." The bijuu recalled. "He was quite the exceptional one– at least as exceptional as a monkey riding a toad can be. Though I think his greatest accomplishment will eventually be siring you, meat bag!"
"And how the hell do you figure that!?" Naruto asked nonplussed.
"Because I like you, human." The Kyuubi answered, shocking Naruto even further. "I find you interesting because I remember the last human I liked; he was at the crux of many exciting events and, at one point, even convinced my brethren and I to betray one of our own and save your fledgling species! I am interested to find out what you will do, Naruto Namikaze. Your world is entering an entirely new period in its existence and you have managed to put yourself right in the middle of it through your choices and actions. Times of great change are always exciting for my kind– it is privilege of immortality, the guaranty to see them through."
"What do you mean?" Naruto had never needed to know the answer to a question so badly before. What did the bijuu know about the current situation in the shinobi world? What lines of change could it perceive on the horizon beyond humanity's limited foresight?
"All in good time, all in good time, boy," the Kyuubi admonished. "Ponder the fact that your father road toads and tamed death, but the last human to impress me created the moon. Your line is nothing and therefore you will have to… prove yourself."
"And my reward for proving myself?" Naruto asked hesitantly. His experience with the Brotherhood and its religion was enough to let him know that such an agreement with a higher power was not to be entered into lightly.
They often had extraordinary ways of collecting on debts.
"I will teach you to wield my power and you will have the honor of being my herald." the demon responded simply. "I will test your commitment and should you not be found lacking, you will wield power believed to be beyond the capabilities of your species. That is my offer."
"It's not going to be easy, is it?" Naruto asked in spite of himself.
"No," the demon replied happily. "No it won't be. I can assure you that it will almost certainly be impossible. Like I stated previously, you don't deserve my power. But if it makes you feel better, know that I am 'rooting' for you."
That gave Naruto pause. "Really?" he asked in spite of himself and his better judgment.
"Sure, insignificant human," the demon replied cheerfully. "I met your father only once, but he managed to leave quite the lasting impression! As I extolled in the wanton destruction of your ant-like forbears, the despair and hopelessness of your 'people'—and I certainly don't use the term endearingly—was tangible to me. I could scarcely describe to you what it is to see defeat within another being's soul, but I would liken it to swift gale snuffing out a lone candle…"
"…do you plan on going anywhere with this?" Naruto asked as the bijuu seemingly got lost in its recollections. "Not that I don't appreciate the pep-talk and all!" he hastily added. "But, seriously, I think there's a little more to the story than you destroying my village…"
"True, true," Kyuubi agreed genially. "The 'point', as you put it, is that when your father managed to finally show up it was like a great fire had been lit in their souls. Inextinguishable, it grew and grew as every one of the peons your village called shinobi at the time realized their savior had arrived," the beast elaborated. "That's quite the feat, considering they were standing knee-deep in the broken bodies of their comrades. The lessons you studied in that pathetic school of yours could never do one of my grand conquests justice."
There was another pause as the ancient being reminisced on memories long past, leaving Naruto in the dark and wondering if the whole thing was just for dramatic affect once again.
"I am rarely impressed, Naruto Namikaze– it is something that goes hand in hand with being an immortal being of unimaginable power." the bijuu finally responded. "Your father caught my attention, and came very close to doing so, however. It is my hope that with the cumulative efforts of his offspring, the two of you might accomplish what he alone could not. Perhaps I will watch the world reshape itself once again. Mayhaps, we might even be at the center of it all, stoking the fires in the crucible of change…"
Naruto paused briefly. "So you're bored." he began. "And you want me to entertain you." The Kyuubi mentally affirmed. "If I do, you'll make it worth my while. You will teach me to command your chakra…"
"Well if you want to be painfully simple about it, then, yes, that is the general idea of the proposition, man-cub."
"One thing, though."
"Oh? What might that be?"
"You haven't said what will happen if I fail to entertain you."
"Hmmmmm…" the great beast pondered theatrically. "That should not be your concern, meat-sack. I have little doubt that you shall fail to entertain me—watching you attempt to woo females with your pathetic, human phallus will qualify nicely—your concern should be whether or not you will be able to master what it is I will attempt to show you. Should you fail in that endeavor, I suspect the enemies you will make would surely wash over you like Tsunamis sweeping away the coast. Know that you alone are not enough to change the course of what is to come."
"So you say…" Naruto dismissed, thinking quickly. He needed to cooperate with the Kyuubi, and, while he did find the beast interesting, he also found it as insufferable as Tetsuo.
For now, it was best to play nice until the jinchuuriki was awarded an opportunity to delve further into fuuinjutsu as well as whatever he could scrounge up on the seal the Yondaime had placed on him.
"I accept your terms, Kyuubi-sama."
"A very smart move, Naruto Namikaze."
"So…" the blonde posed, "what do you want me to do, exactly? What's 'Lesson One'?"
"Lesson one is 'perseverance', boy. It is how we shall decide if teaching you will be worth my time."
"So it's a test?"
"Yes. A rather simple one, too. Your objective is to simply not break. I've arranged it so that this first test will help hone your shinobi skills as well as test your mettle, your ability to impose your will upon others while preventing them from doing the same to you– dominate or be dominated, if you will."
"Fair enough," the blonde conceded. "How are we gonna do this?"
"You have fallen into a meditative trance in your effort to contact me. This is good, because it shows that you have the ability to concentrate and avoid distractions when necessary. To communicate with me further will no longer require you to do so. The link is now open. The bridge has been built." Kyuubi explained to an attentive Naruto. "This trance is also bad because I have used it to dampen your senses to the world around you. You have overextended yourself in your haste to contact me that in doing so, you have excommunicated yourself from your surroundings."
That little tidbit captured Naruto's full scrutiny. Could this possibly lead to possession?
"But fret not, I do not wish to harm you, nor take possession of your body. I tell you this because your first test starts the moment you open your eyes and break the trance. Do you understand?"
"I do," Naruto replied confidently. He was ready to meet this latest challenge and begin mastering the near-unlimited well of power within himself.
"Good." the Kyuubi said with relish as Naruto felt himself begin to pull out of the trance. "Remember: do not break, no matter what…"
Naruto exhaled deeply and opened his eyes.
Only to find himself frozen, for just a split-second, in shock. In that split second the color pink played a prominent role, accompanying two large, brown eyes that gazed back at him in equal surprise and understanding.
Naruto's right hand palmed a kunai, swinging for the stranger's neck.
A delicate hand with painted nails batted the strike off course and used the errant limb to pin down Naruto's left as it made to strike as well.
The jinchuuriki struggled briefly amid a sea of dark brown hair before a pair of senbon slid into his neck on both sides of his trachea.
Naruto could only stare in shock at the protruding needles as his extremities went limp, and his body relaxed under his assailant.
"Ahhhhh, the snarky little blonde one…" a soft voice began, holding Naruto's face between her(it looked like a her, at least) thumb and forefinger in order to better inspect his visage. "I have been hoping to run into you and that sword that seems to have caught Zabuza-sama's attention…"
Naruto attempted to respond only to find that his mouth would not form words, upon further analysis, the Genin was dismayed to discover that he couldn't do much save blink, breathe, and move his eyes.
"It's a paralytic state, Konoha-san." the kunoichi provided helpfully. "The two needles in your neck are at quite exacting pressure points– in fact, if I'd aimed a little to the right, you'd be in a catatonic state."
The girl smiled innocently.
"But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, pulling out a roll of wire from her kimono. "Seems like Zabuza-sama would get more use out of you if you were conscious for your meeting, ne?"
Naruto would have swallowed if he still possessed the ability, but settled for watching the kunoichi bind his hands and feet.
"It would seem," she continued after politely waiting for an answer Naruto was incapable of giving, "that the spider has caught herself a sweet, little fly, would it not?" The kunoichi, satisfied with her work, picked up an empty basket. "That little flower that you happen to be sitting next to—which, coincidentally, is what led me to you—is used in a salve to prevent infection. Real handy stuff to have, really."
The kunoichi made a show of plucking the flower and placing it into her wicker basket.
"So… here's what's going to happen," she explained with a smile, "I'm going to finish gathering my flowers and herbs while you wait patiently. Then, I'm going to drag you off to our hidden base of operations. Blink once if you understand."
Naruto blinked as his heart hammered in his chest. "Kyuubi!? What the hell have you done!?"
"Relax, boy. She's not going to kill you. In fact, her master isn't even going to kill you. They're going to torture you– at the very worst, the masked man might hack off a limb," Kyuubi retorted. "Have faith in my powers to see you through this and keep your focus on not breaking like a glass vase."
"Good," the kunoichi continued, mistaking Naruto's internal dilemma for nervousness. "Once we arrive, you will be given the opportunity to pass along any pertinent information about your comrades to myself before I turn you over to Zabuza-sama's tender mercies…"
The jinchuuriki could only glare as the enemy kunoichi straightened up and proceeded to gather the herbs growing in the surrounding area.
A/N: So, this only took forever. Thanks to my beta for putting up with my bullshit and being a great sounding board when I need one. Now the fun can begin.
