Velvette woke up feeling better then she has in months; she's got a badass new boyfriend, fucked on the popes's bet, a shit ton of new jewelry from the vatican collection, and a crazy new world that has no borders to her. Sure, it sounds like the actual apocalypse is going down, but that can wait a day or two. Right now she was hungry as hell, and she wanted to see what was left to eat in Rome. "Hey, babe! I wanna get something to eat, you coming?" Phobos groggily woke up from last night's debauchery. He had drunk copious amounts of looted wine and tasted some of his beloved's party drugs, so he was quite hungover. "Ugh. Sorry, my love. My head throbs with pain, but I am ravenous beyond words." "Well, let's see what's still left in the city, hopefully a good local bistro with espresso!" Phobos was always amazed at the new and exciting things that Velvette introduced him to, so he was always ready for something else.
Rome was still in chaos, but it had died down a little. Most of the angels seemed to have moved on to somewhere else, and the other monsters seemed to be busy trying to make new lairs in the ruins or wandering off to better territories. Now it was mostly humans or demons, hiding or trying to flee. Things were not looking good for the new power couple's quest for breakfast. "Great, everything has either been picked clean or destroyed, and I AM STARVING!" Velvette yelled in frustration, the overlord was unused to not getting what she wanted. Phobos was thinking of how to fix this when it hit him. Ever since he met his beloved, his life seemed to be more like his uncle Hercules than what he was used to. He bested giants and went on adventures, claimed great treasures and made passionate love. He could hardly believe it, but it was true.
"Hahahahahaha! At last!" Phobos cried in joy. "I am the hero now!" Velvette was a little weirded out by her boyfriend's outburst, but she saw that it meant a lot to him, and it was a little adorable to see him so happy, so she decided to roll with it "Oookay, so how are we gonna get breakfast then, my epic hero?" Phobos had the perfect answer. "Monsters and great horrors now roam the earth as they did in times long past, we can become legends, and legends are rewarded with feasts when they save mortals from these terrors!" Velvette was still a little unsure of her boyfriend's plan. "So, what? We wander the countryside until we find some poor village attacked by a monster, slay it, and get rewarded with a ton of food?" When Velvette said it out loud, it still sounded crazy, but in a fun way. "Sure, why not? Beats looking at Rome falling for the umpteenth time."
Phobos may not have been able to fly, but he had the strength of a god and the ability to jump incredible distances. Velvette awkwardly clung to his back, feeling every landing like a sledgehammer hitting her. "I guess this is a bit like Superman and Lois Lane." Velvette mused to herself. Finally, they landed in the outskirts of an Italian village with what looked like a massive lion with a scorpion tail chewing on some poor bastard's corpse. "Aha! The manticore of the Persians. Not even Hercules can boast of slaying one of these." "Woah there, Phobos! Before we charge in we might need an actual plan." Velvette was a little shocked that she was now the responsible one. "First of all, you are the god of fear, so you're gonna scare these poor peasants shitless looking like that. Second, while I have no doubt you can kill that thing easily, neither of us speaks a word of Italian, so you need to show me that cool magic thing where you can translate any language."
"Oh, of course my love." Phobos' enthusiasm seems to have waned a little at this, but he picked himself up to work his magic. With a little concentration, he altered his physical appearance to better look the part of a classical hero: healthy bronzed skin, armor that did not have horrifying acts of mutilation etched onto it, and a face that was handsome instead of horrific. Velvette was used to a lot of horrifying things in hell, so she personally thought this was a bland but necessary downgrade. Velvette used a little glamor spell she bought a long time ago as a novelty to make her look alot more human. Phobos next showed Velvette the secrets of language that Hermes shared with him to instantly learn Italian. It was significantly rougher on mortals than on gods, so she felt like a thousand volts just went up her ass and straight to her brain. When she finally recovered, Phobos looked ready for the fight now, and he lept into action.
The manticore could see through the disguise of the god of fear, and a primal terror filled its heart. It turned to run, but Phobos decapitated it with almost contemptuous ease. "Fear not, mortals! The beast is vanquished!" Velvette could not help but giggle at that adorkable line. The villagers, on the other hand, did not share her feelings. All of them stayed in their homes, almost as terrified of these newcomers as the monsters that have been rampaging across the world. "Dammed mortals." Phobos said in bitter disappointment. "Hey, babe. I know that your little Greek hero LARP didn't go well, and we still don't have anything to eat…" At that last part, Velvette got an idea. "Hey, I wonder what manticore tastes like!" The lovers then went about lighting a fire and preparing a makeshift grill for choice cuts of tiger/scorpion meat, which was surprisingly good.
Phobos was feeling a little better now that he actually ate something, but he was obviously still disappointed. "I take it this was about more than brunch and some fun, huh?" "Yes, my dear Velvette." Phobos said with a sigh. "I may be a god, but it is not a life filled with happiness. All of mortalkind run in fear at the merest hint of my presence, while the other gods treat me with disdain. I thought that with this upheaval, I could show up the likes of Hercules or Apollo with a worthy act of heroism that the Muses would sing of and the mortals would cheer. But I suppose I will always be a monster." Phobos sadly hung his head, and Velvette was left thinking of how she could cheer up her boyfriend when a voice from behind said "do not despair, young god, your fate is far more interesting that an eternity as Ares' war hound." Velvette and Phobos were shocked to see an old woman with a burning staff in her hand and a gold key on her hip. "Hecate?" Phobos said in surprise.
