Hey you! Thanks again for all the amazingness. Your reviews really are just awesome. Keep 'em coming? You're beautiful and you're organized! (I'm running out of less specific Leslie Knope complements...)
ALSO: Sorry if the timeline is confusing. Probably best to not worry about it and just enjoy the ride? Its been less than a week. Approx: Saturday-Thursday. Thanks for reading!
Tap.
Spencer sighed.
Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
Her leg was shaking and her pen was bouncing rapidly against her desk. She was staring at her bosses annotations on the case before her, just barely registering the words. She decided to stand up and pace around her cubicle, hoping for some sort of release.
Paige arrived at home, after a full night and morning away. She was absolutely filthy from finishing up the yard work at Spencer's place. She took a breath before opening the door.
"Where were you?" her father asked in lieu of a greeting. The man was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. He was dressed in a collared button up and nice pants, topped with his navy bathrobe. The contrast would have been humorous were his raised eyebrows less severe.
"I texted you," Paige said, taking a seat at the breakfast bar and letting her overnight bag drop to the floor, her shoulders hunched miserably. All she wanted to do was go upstairs and shower. "I crashed at Spencer's," she continued, ever a sucker for filling silence.
"We were worried you would say that," he responded, sighing. Paige felt anger start to bubble inside her. "I'm glad you have a summer job with the Hastings, but I'm not so pleased with this newly developing... what ever it is-"
"Tact, honey!" her mom's voice practically sang, followed by her appearance from the laundry room. She was dressed for work and must have come home for her lunch break. "What your father means to say is that we trust you, Paige. But we also worry-"
"That I'm queer, Mom?" Paige snapped, she saw her dad flinch at the word. "I thought we were through with this," Paige continued, sharp, through her teeth. She knew it. Knew this would happen. She'd been fooled by their illusion. It made her words come out as a raspy whisper.
"It has nothing to do with your orientation, Paige," Her dad raised his voice in a way that told her she'd pay for snapping at her mom. But then her parents exchanged a look and he took a breath. "We're just worried about your safety. Spencer Hastings has a reputation. And after what happened to you in high school-"
"Surely you understand our concerns," her mom added, giving her dad another sharp look. Her tone was always more even, and now a days she never hesitated to speak up as a mediator. Paige didn't hear it, though... or at least she didn't want to have heard it. She was already most of the way up the stairs. She slammed the door once she got to her room.
"What is up with you, girl?" Spencer's eyes shot up to see Laura the paralegal at her door.
"Ah, nothing. Too much coffee," the girl said, which was partially true. Add on a heap of sexual frustration and that nagging feeling of impending doom she always felt at the start of a relationship and... well, it wasn't really a relationship, at least she knew that much.
"Well relax. I can hear you shuffling around from my office," she said with a laugh. Spencer was the reason Laura was able to get home so early every night of the summer. She had an affection for the neurotic college student.
"Yes, ma'am," Spencer said with a shifty smile, taking a seat and putting down her pen. After Laura left, Spencer picked up her phone. She scrolled to Paige.
Paige sat on her bed in a huff. She shuffled her feet against the carpet. She wanted to be angrier. She could hear them talking downstairs in the hushed whispers she had grown to hate. She sighed, picking lint off her shorts.
They were right. She hated them even more when they made sense. In high school she could always blame them for pushing her too hard to be perfect or straight. But in the weeks following Lyndon's arrest, Paige had actually relished the excuse to just stay home provided by their insane boundaries. And now... now she had no vindication, just guilt over how much they'd all hurt each other. She picked up her phone and scrolled to Spencer.
This girl is NOT your girlfriend, Paige remembered, making herself put the phone down. She is not is not is not, she argued against the part of her head that was starting to feel that comfort.
Way too much, way too soon, Spencer was thinking. She shouldn't have made Paige spend the night last night. Or maybe she just shouldn't have panicked this morning. The problem wasn't the making out. It was what had happened when they got to Spencer's bedroom that was really nagging at her.
"What's that?" Spencer had asked bluntly last evening when Paige was changing.
"Nothing," Paige blushed, embarrassed, quickly pulling her shirt over the scar. Spencer let the silence ride. "I mean, nothing compared to what you guys went through," she said cryptically. Spencer was smart enough to understand what that meant.
"Paige, high school was just as bad for you as it was to me," Spencer said.
"No shit," Paige snorted in agreement, plopping down on Spencer's bed.
Spencer was surprised and, by nature, suspicious, "Was that a test?" she asked, failing not to sound accusatory.
"Of course not," Paige snapped back. "Maybe a little," she admitted a few seconds later, "I'm sorry." Spencer moved herself to lay next to her, their arms touching as an acceptance of the apology. "It's just," Paige paused looking a little guilty, "whenever I talked to Emily about... about A... I had to frame it in a way that put Alison in the center just to get her to listen to me," Paige chewed on her lip, contemplating. "I probably should go, Spence," Paige mumbled, shifting. It was late. They were both groggy.
Spencer knew that they'd already crossed the line of easy and appropriate at that point. She probably should have let her go. This was the first time in the last two years that she'd heard someone say the dreaded letter, let alone mention Ali. There was an unspoken agreement among her friends.
Talking about those things were for therapy, if anything. Really, they were supposed to be over it by now. Spencer wasn't 'over' anything. Not by a long shot. So, she decided to let herself lose the interrogation game they'd been playing all week. She decided to share unsolicited.
"I get really paranoid," Spencer blurted to Paige after asking her to stay.
"Paige, you should stay."
Paige thought about how good it was to hear. She'd missed staying with someone. Spencer pulled her to the center of the bed and put her head on Paige's shoulder.
She felt bad for Spencer. The girl had been through new phone numbers, she had no connection to social media. She lived in fear of sociopaths gathering in the corners of her life. Paige didn't know how to deal so she'd blurted out something really stupid just ... just because making Spencer feel better in that moment was everything.
In retrospect, she was sure Spencer resented her for belittling her situation.
There was a knock on Paige's door.
"Yeah," Paige responded, ready to apologize. If they could change, so could she.
"You shouldn't slam doors like that," her mother said, stern, walking in and sitting down on the bed next to Paige. She put her arm around her daughter and Paige nodded. "Imagine how miserable you'd feel if you gave your father another heart attack?"
Paige's heart sank, she looked up at her mom, full of anxiety and... her mom was laughing. Paige fell back into her pout. "Not funny, mom."
"I think that maybe... probably... it's me. I caused "A" to happen."
It was the first time Spencer had ever said those words out loud.
"It wasn't you," Paige said. She was calmly chewing her lip. "I'm not just saying that either," Paige added in response to the sigh Spencer had meant to be inaudible. Paige moved, but to Spencer's surprise, she didn't leave. She was just shifting to her side so she could look at Spencer. "People are going to tell you that it was just chance. And in some ways it was. But there was something going on at Rosewood to set this into motion. Allison was that thing, not you."
"What do you mean?" Spencer pushed Paige to keep talking.
"Allison was a force of nature. She was Batman who encouraged and attracted psychotic, evil villains to converge in Gotham." Paige winced at her own words, "I'm sorry... that was insensitive."
Spencer let out an airy laugh. "No, no I'm with you... Except Ali isn't a hero."
"Hell no," Paige exclaimed. "She was one evil bitch," she gauged Spencer's reaction. When satisfied that they were in agreement, she continued, "that made it even worse when she patrolled the town like a vigilante," Paige shook her head. "Her cruelty and what it brought here was one in a billion," Paige explained, smiling at Spencer kindly.
Spencer had kissed Paige after that. And Paige had smiled as if she'd been amused that she'd earned such a thing. For the first time, Spencer actually got to laugh about the bad things that had happened to her. As weird as the circumstances might be, Paige was the perfect person to talk to and Spencer wished she'd always had her around. Spencer had felt a little better. A little safer with Paige.
Maybe that is what freaked her out the most. It was too easy and too good.
"It was kind of funny," her mother said, kissing her on the side of the head. "So what's the deal with Spencer? Is that a romantic thing?"
"I guess yes," Paige said with a shrug. Deep down she knew that it was very romantic. And she was ecstatic about the possibility of it being a thing. "Nothing official."
"You're happy?" her mom asked and Paige nodded. "You'll be careful?" Paige nodded again.
"Okay, we trust you. You just have to bring her over here sometimes," her mom said. "Family game night. Sunday. Mandatory," she added, finalizing the thought.
Paige chuckled. "Okay, mom," she realized that the only way she could possibly spend the night away from home again was to agree. "I'll text you a confirmation when I talk to Spencer tonight," she said.
"I take it we shouldn't expect you back until late? Or tomorrow?" Her mother asked, eyebrows raised. Paige shrugged.
"I'll call you if I'm driving after dark."
"Good enough," her mom responded. There was another knock at Paige's open door, her dad in the doorway looking worn and weary. "She's going to try dating Spencer, but she promises to carry pepper spray," her mom said to him, dryly. He chuckled.
"I'd feel better if there were martial arts classes involved," her dad said.
"Me too, dad," Paige said to him with a smile. She made eye contact with him. She wanted to apologize, but couldn't find the words.
Spencer should have left it at that. But laying in complete comfort, she could feel her own breath hot against Paige's chest. She basked in the warmth mixed with that Paige-smell. And Spencer just kept talking.
"She's probably still alive," She didn't want to hold back anymore.
"I figured as much. But she knows that you guys are done with her?"
Spencer nodded. They'd spent years solving mysteries. Now it was over and Ali was gone. Like a ghost at peace ascends in 90s movies, Ali had 'moved on,' probably with a substantial amount of cash from A. "I'm still a mess, though," Spencer admitted.
"You're keeping it together," Paige replied, kissing the top of her head.
Spencer leaned up and kissed Paige on the lips again. Time was inconsequential now and she lingered long enough that her entire sensory experience was Paige.
She'd fallen deeply asleep making her wake up, two hours later to her phone alarm under her pillow, that much more abrupt. All she could think was how little she'd done to deserve this. She'd spent years cultivating relationships with people who never understood her like this.
Routine. Routine can be comforting and it can be inane. The term was rife with negative connotations for highly excitable people like Paige, especially when it manifests itself in the wrong place, or at the wrong time... because Paige has so many plans. But falling into step with a challenging, fascinating person was just too thrilling, too sexy, for Paige to ignore. So, going to Spencer's right at 5PM was a given.
"You've done this before," Paige stated, after they'd been making out for a bit. They'd continued the afternoon's trend of kiss first, ask questions later. Tonight they'd bypassed the couch entirely, going straight for the bed. "Been with a girl, I mean," Paige clarified when the girl under her didn't answer. Spencer quirked an eyebrow and Paige started blushing. "Uh, wait, I didn't mean been with, as in... we've not. Like, I'm not expecting," she sputtered. They'd had handsy make outs and that was all. "Not that I don't want to..." Paige groaned and pushed her face into the pillow. Spencer waited a few more moments while Paige held her breath before Paige could feel her laughing. Asshole, she thought, giving Spencer a little shove.
Spencer pushed back, rolling Paige off her so that she could see the girl more clearly. They were on their sides from last night. "Is it obvious?" Spencer asked, casually gauging Paige's reaction, "I mean, I haven't been with, as you put so eloquently," Spencer teased, earning another playful nudge. "But there was a girl at summer camp. After 8th grade." Spencer laid back to look at the ceiling and chewed her lip.
"Please God, tell me everything about 8th grade summer camp," Paige sighed, once again won over.
"It isn't a great story."
"It is," Paige insisted. She finally noticed that Spencer was actually nervous, not just being coy. "It is," Paige said again, this time in a whisper, placing a wet kiss at the base of Spencer's jaw. Spencer took a deep breath.
"Well, it was all very steamy," Spencer said with a little chuckle, "We weren't really friends. But then she held my hand at a campfire. And then we started meeting every night in this clearing between our two cabins." Spencer sighed, "That was it."
"That wasn't it," Paige pushed, gently. Spencer groaned and Paige started to place encouraging kisses along her jaw and neck. Well, they'd either be encouraging or distracting. Either way, it was exactly what Paige wanted. Fuck cooling off, Paige thought.
"Ugh," Spencer whined, "You're insatiable."
"Mmhm. Finish your story," Paige demanded, her voice was firm but soft and Spencer could tell that she was smiling. It sent a shiver down her back. Spencer pushed her fingers into Paige's now doomed up-do and pulled the girl to her lips. After indulging in a kiss, she knew she had Paige's full attention again. Paige knew that Spencer was going to tell her something special. Another item to add to her collection of the Spencer only she'd know.
"On the last day of camp, we snuck out to meet around dawn. She told me she loved me and I squeezed her hand and ran to my parents car. I put my hoodie up and pretended to sleep while I cried," Spencer looked away. She was embarrassed and now occupied her eyes with dreaming up a new furniture arrangement for her bedroom. Paige stared at her.
Something has started to tug at Paige's gut. She smiled. She knew it was a goofy smile. She didn't care. She just went with her first impulse. She started to kiss the back of Spencer's neck and running her fingertips down the girl's sides and back up, under her shirt. "You're wonderful," Paige whispered in Spencer's ear. "I want you."
At that moment, Spencer finally felt herself coming alive. Like seeing a light at the edge of a long and suffocating labyrinth. She didn't care if it was the end or just a lamp. She needed to get there.
Paige McCullers was moving against her. She was kissing her neck. She was asking if it was okay for her hands to be on Spencer's ass, asking if she could take off her shirt. Spencer wasn't sure she'd ever been so riled up. "Of course," Spencer whispered every time she caught her breath. Just like that, her shorts were gone. Paige was pushing her down into the mattress. She was kissing down her stomach, just to move her hands and mouth back to her breasts, kissing over the lacy bra, causing Spencer's nipples to strain against the material. She wondered how Paige's hands could simultaneously be everywhere but not touching her nearly enough. Spencer squirmed, pushing her legs together and moving her hips to create a little friction. Paige must not have noticed, because she put herself between Spencer's legs.
Spencer groaned and pushed the girl back. Paige eased off, looking concerned. Spencer was too far gone to smile. She was thoroughly foreplayed. She pushed up so she was leaning on her her elbows and pouting. "Why are your clothes still on?" she whined in that low tone she'd long perfected. Paige nervously laughed and put her arms up so Spencer could remove her shirt. Spencer continued undressing her, tumbling them over so that she was on top. She sighed, relieved. She'd been missing so much from the bottom. The idea of watching Paige's fingers slide inside her made her shiver madly as she tugged Paige's jeans off. She pushed her bare thigh between the girl's legs and could feel wetness under her cotton underwear. Both girls gasped at the contact.
"God, yes," Spencer whispered. She sat up, straddling Paige's stomach. Paige squirmed and Spencer knew she could feel the wetness through her lacy panties. Paige's eyes darkened with desire, which was just what Spencer wanted. She used a finger to push Paige's chin up. She wanted to watch Paige watch her as she slowly took off her bra.
Paige held her breath and not a moment after the fabric fell off Spencer, she pulled the girl down. Paige had one hand teasing Spencer's nipple while the other swiftly tore off the remaining article of clothing. Paige was now lightly exploring the girl's wetness. "Fuck, yes," Spencer gasped when Paige found her clit. Spencer grabbed Paige's wrist and pushed her hand down so that Paige's fingers played at Spencer's hole. But Paige pulled them back slightly every time Spencer pushed forward to have them deeper.
What the hell? Spencer thought, making eye contact with Paige. The girl smiled and then sat up to take off the remainder of her own clothing. Spencer felt dizzy and lost in her want, infuriated by that smile, turned on by her infuriation and just, altogether... "UGH," Spencer groaned scratching down Paige's back as she glared at the girl sitting under her. Paige let out a pleased noise and kept kissing her breasts, putting her teeth against Spencer's nipples at the scratch. "Paige?" Spencer rasped, expecting.
"What's the magic word?" Paige asked, moving the tip of one finger into Spencer and grabbing her ass, hard.
"Now," Spencer growled, desperate but unwilling to concede without a fight. Paige breathed a laugh.
"Wrong answer," Paige said, flipping them over again so that Spencer was on her back. Paige pushed the girl's leg up. Spencer was too tired and turned on to keep herself from being physically overtaken by the lithe swimmer. Now Spencer was incapacitated and open.
"Fuck me." Spencer demanded again, her voice gravelly. It took her her less than a few seconds to acclimate to the new game they were playing. Even if her body belong to Paige, she knew that they were fighting for her words.
"No," Paige responded simply, kissing her way down Spencer's thigh. "Can I taste you?" Paige asked. Spencer nodded vigorously and sighed into her kisses before Paige's pace built up her frustration again.
"Goddammit, Paige, fuck me. Now. Hard." Spencer gasped, trying to keep the desperation out of her demand. She faltered on the last word and it came out long and strained. Paige's tongue had reached its destination and was now just at the edge of where Spencer was dripping wet. "Paige," Spencer moaned as the girl licked up her center, lightly flicking her clit at the end. "Jesus fucking hell," Spencer moaned.
She wasn't sure how much more she cursed. What she did know was that it had to have ended in Please, because Paige was inside her after that. One andthen two fingers, sliding quickly and easily. They thrust in and out and Spencer must have cursed some more as she came around them in warm, intense waves.
Paige gave Spencer the time to come down slowly. She was basking in sex and warmth and victory. She'd closed her eyes, ready to drift off, Spencer in her arms.
"Don't you dare fall asleep," Spencer said, kissing her neck and then her mouth, moving her arms above her head to have better access to her neck. Paige smiled under the attention. "Paige?"
"Yes?" Paige finally opened her eyes to see the girl straddling her with a piece of rope in her hands. Paige's mouth went dry at the sight.
"Can I tie your wrists?" Spencer asked, chewing on her lip.
"Of course," Paige responded in a rasp as Spencer expertly laid columns of rope against one wrist, then the other, hooking the rope to her bedpost. The idea that this was just a casual, one night thing seemed impossible to Paige. Not your girlfriend, she told herself again before being overcome by need.
It was only 9:00 by the time they'd finished, and Paige was awake and hungry. They'd thrown on clothes haphazardly and settled into the main room. Now Spencer was laying with her head in Paige's lap. She was reading a book while the other girl watched Metropolis on Netflix. Spencer was easily distracted from the movie, despite Paige pointing out camera shots and giving a fun verbal version of "Pop Up Video" trivia. To Spencer, film history didn't really start until the 40s and film noir, and nothing could convince her otherwise.
Paige had brought a 6 pack of some obnoxiously pretentious beer that, luckily, was still cold after being abandoned at the doorway earlier. Spencer had a glass of red wine. Neither really wanted to make an effort for dinner, so they ended up eating breakfast cereal instead. It was pretty much the evening Spencer dreamed about when she thought of living on her own.
By 9:45, Spencer had long stopped studying her book and started studying Paige. Spencer enjoyed chronicling the girl's wide range of facial expressions. She was especially captivated by the way Paige's whole face changed when she really got to excited about something and she loved. For the last few days, Spencer had been collecting, hoarding and memorizing everything she could about Paige. She loved playful sex, she slept in cotton v-necks and shorts, kissing her mouth felt cool and spicy after she finished a sip of hoppy beer.
Spencer was clocked out of her daze by a knock on the door. Paige looked down at the girl, brow furrowed. "It's a solicitor... or UPS," Spencer muttered, standing up and gathering a robe around her.
She opened the door and her eyes went wide.
"SURPRISE!" Spencer was greeted by a blonde in a stylish short dress. Her arms were up in a 'here I am!' pose, a bottle of Champagne in one hand.
"Hanna!" Spencer yelled with a raspy edge so hard that she almost had to cough .
"HEY!" Hanna threw her arms around Spencer. "Emily and Aria are on their way up right now! We were all supposed to pop in together, but I was early and couldn't wait!" Hanna told her, still hugging the girl. "Oh, I didn't see you had company," Hanna stepped further into the room, "Paige! What are you doing here?" The girl asked, not really one to filter her thoughts. Spencer watched as she took in the messy living room and bowls of cereal. "And you're not wearing pants," the girl continued her observations. Paige's eyes were wide, her beer hanging by her mouth where she must have been midway through a sip. Thank God she's wearing underwear, Spencer thought.
"Uh, we were just watching a movie," Spencer tried to explain. Hanna looked skeptical, still trying to piece the images in front of her together into a logical storyline.
"Spencer has been letting me crash on her couch," Paige lied, giving the girl something plausible to latch onto. All three girls knew that Spencer would never entertain a guest while wearing a robe and tank top. Additionally she'd never serve breakfast cereal and only rarely have beer. "Things at my house have been bad and she is kind enough to let me stay every once in awhile." Paige gulped, "My dad had a heart attack," she added, mostly as a diversion.
"Oh shit, sorry!" Hanna responded, sympathetic, making her way further into the room, brow furrowed in concern.
Spencer felt a little hurt by how easily Paige was covering their tracks. She was wondering why she felt that way- was it because Spencer was supposed to be the liar and Paige the one feeling scorned? Surely she didn't want Hanna to know about her and Paige. Still, something was tugging at Spencer's gut. Maybe it was just her way of regretting loss of what was shaping up to be a perfect lazy evening.
Paige was standing now and picking things up. She put on the pants that, by another stroke of luck, had landed near the girl's backpack by the couch instead of Spencer's bedroom floor. She pulled on a hoodie that effectively covered the fact that she hadn't found her bra. Paige stumbled around a bit after carrying bowls to the kitchen. "I should get going," Paige was saying, moving around a little frantically. Spencer found herself desperately wanting her to stay.
"You could join us," Hanna said, politely.
"No, it's was kind of a fluke we became," Paige paused for just a second, "buddies," once again the lie pierced. They'd never discussed their status as more than friends, there was no reason for Spencer to feel so rotten over it. "But, I really don't want to make anyone feel awkward," Paige was saying as she gathered her bag. Paige almost made it out the door when Emily and Aria rounded the corner of the hall.
"Hanna!" Emily's voice yelled, angry at the girl for going in before they got there.
"I can't believe you ruined the surprise," Aria's voice continued.
The were both in the doorway a second later, faced with Paige in front of Hanna and Spencer.
Emily froze in place, she looked confused and a little angry. Paige shuffled to the side, so that the girls could hug Spencer, which Aria took the opportunity to do. "Hey you!" Aria yelled, giving Emily space.
"Paige," Emily bit her lip and looked the girl up and down.
It took what felt like a lifetime for Paige to regain function upon seeing her ex. "Hi Emily. Aria. I was just leaving," Paige said, more calmly than Spencer was expecting. "It was nice seeing you all," she said before making a graceful exit.
