Chapter 11
A/N: This chapter is lyric heavy.
Just as Shaun had said, Lex woke the next morning, gave Baron an awkward kiss before stumbling out of bed and vanishing into the bathroom.
She avoided eye contact with all three men all day, answered their questions with short, concise words, and didn't mention the previous night's nightmare or panic attack.
It drove Tom nuts when that behavior went on for a few days.
He could handle that she wasn't that outgoing, outspoken Lex that he met and fell for; he really could, but what he couldn't handle was not knowing why she had nightmares and locked herself up in her head when she woke up.
The feeling that this had something to do with her stint in the music industry just intensified every day.
0-0-0-0-0-0
They continued to work on his character at the Performance Center and at home with Corey. Lex was intent on this plan of hers to help Baron along at Aftershock and Corey was jazzed about it.
Her daily routine at the Center consisted of her intense workout, working with Baron away from the others and then getting conned into training the men in the ring.
The roster – and Lex – began to notice that Sami's stance on them running drills with her instead of trainers had taken a drastic turn lately. He argued with them about it and even blew up on occasion.
"What the fuck do you get paid for now? Just to stand there and watch?"
"Hey, whoa!" Lex rolled out of the ring; heading off Matt, and took Sami by the arm, pulling him away from everyone. "What is this all about?"
"It's not your job to do this shit!" He shouted; pacing back and forth in front of her.
"Johnston, you need to keep your voice down." Her hand darted out, catching his wrist and kept him still. "Calm down, look at me and use your damn words."
"You need to slow down, Lex." He stared into her blue eyes; sighing heavily when she cocked her head at him in curiosity. "You push yourself too hard and someday you're gonna hit a wall." And he walked away, leaving her standing there confused of his behavior and comments.
0-0-0-0-0-0
The next day was the night they planned to hit a bar with an open mic. Lex arranged for Dan to drive since they had guitars and a majority of the roster to take along.
The place was comfortable and not too crowded until the three singers, one COO, four trainers, thirteen wrestlers and four security guards entered the premises. It had the feel of a modern day Cheers bar with dark wood everywhere. A small stage was at the end of the establishment across from the entrance with tables scattered along the right of the bar and hooking to the left in front of the stage. The bar itself ran along the left wall.
They converged on the bar like a swarm; lining up across it until all you could see is their backs, and placed their orders. Baron ordered for him, Lex, Corey and Shaun while they carried their cases towards the stage. The next day they would be leaving for Sacramento and Paul decided to let his kids enjoy their night; opening a tab at the bar.
The group rearranged tables to sit together in a big cluster in front of the stage while remaining in their individual inner cliques at each table. Lex kept Baron and Finn on either side of her, Paul sat next to Finn, and Sami, Shaun and Corey sat across from them at their one table. Baron couldn't help but notice how Shaun and Sami whispered to each other while they nursed their first drinks.
Dan and Mark were assigned to Paul tonight, and stood a few feet behind their table while David and Jimmy spread out evenly to cover the rest of the tables.
"How do you think I'm doing with our work so far?" Baron leaned across the table so that Corey could hear him clearly over the bar's sound system.
"Man, I think it's great but you need to ask your mentor." He jerked his chin towards Lex.
"Why are you asking him? What's up?" Paul glanced between Corey and Baron with an inquisitive brow.
"Paul, mind your own business and just wait to see it this weekend along with everyone else." Lex shook her head with a roll of her eyes. "I promise you'll love it though."
"Well, munchkin, what's your opinion?"
"Sas, I think you'll do fine. I know you'll do great on the special project." She darted her eyes up to his when she sensed him staring into the side of her head. "Remember I promised never to lie to you?" She asked and got a nod in return.
"You're a soft spoken man unless you're legitimately pissed off. The timbre of your normal speaking voice is like a 'warm blanket' for the ears. Shut up!" She barked at the others that chuckled at her choice of words. "For what we're aiming at, you're putting an extra edge to your voice to come off with the indifference but it is noticeable that you're adding it. Calm down." She placed a finger over his parted lips. "It works but the day they turn you face or tweener will be perfect to drop that edge and let your true voice come through."
"How will being a tweener make any difference to how I project my voice?"
"Trust me; it just does. Go back and listen to Orton during his tweener stages and you'll have your answer. And when they let you turn face, there will be wet panties wherever your voice carries because damn." She picked up her Sprite and took a sip, giving him a wink over her glass.
"Look 'a tha' blush!" Finn reached across Lex and pinched Baron's cheek, getting his hand slapped away while the others laughed.
"So are we ready to do this?" Shaun asked when he got a nod from the bartender.
"Yeah, let's get up there. I want to go first since I'm actually performing this weekend." Corey picked up his drink and guitar case, making his way up on stage.
He and Shaun had set up three stools and mics before they sat at the table so they just needed to unpack their guitars and take a seat. Lex took the middle stool and three of them tuned their acoustics before Corey started Through the Glass by his other band, Stone Sour.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God…
"You're alright." Corey stopped playing, smiling at Bayley when she gave a little squeal of excitement. "Was that you?" He chuckled when the poor girl blushed furiously and nodded. "Let's start this over. Calm down." He told her with a grin before darting his eyes at Shaun and Lex.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God, it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
No more sad voices
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God, it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah
Who are the stars
Who are the stars they lie
Corey smiled when the whistles and applause filled the bar; letting his fingers strum his strings.
"Which one of you is going next? I'm starting to get a complex here since I'm the only one making noise." He glanced between his two friends; Shaun staring at Lex and Lex focusing on her guitar.
"I guess we can do a duet. What do you say, luv?"
"Okay, Shaun." She answered softly.
"Pass Slowly?"
"I know that one so that helps." Corey smiled at their tables; letting Shaun and Lex have their unspoken conversation.
Lex started them off with her two friends joining in after a few notes.
(Shaun) I think it's time for a change
(Shaun) Cause things feel out of touch
(Shaun) I watch you walk away, again
(Shaun) Well this feels like too much
(Corey and Lex) Can you take it away?
(Shaun) And things won't go my way
(Shaun) Now I'll have to fade away, my friend
(Shaun) So pass slowly
(Shaun) Carry me down
(Shaun) Render me lonely
(Shaun) When you're not around
(Lex) I need to shake off this pain
(Lex) But courage takes too much
(Lex) So I have to walk away, again
(Lex) Oh God I miss your touch
(Corey and Shaun) Can you take it away?
(Lex) The way you keep me safe
(Lex) I won't let you fade away, my friend
(Lex) So pass slowly
(Lex) Carry me down
(Lex) Remember me only
(Lex) When you're not around
(Lex) Oh yeah, can't you stay awhile longer?
(Lex) Oh yeah, won't you stay?
(Lex) God please stay
(Lex) And pass slowly
(Corey) It's time for a change
(Shaun) Whittle me down
(Corey) Cause things feel out of touch
(Shaun) Render me lonely
(Corey) I'll watch you walk away, again
(Shaun) When you're not around
(Lex) So pass slowly
(Corey) This feels like too much
(Lex) And let me down easy
(Corey) And things won't go my way
(Lex) Render me lonely
(Corey) I'll have to fade away, my friend
(Lex) When you're not around
Baron, Finn and Paul stood and/or sat whistling and clapping; the others doing the same but not as enthusiastically as their boss, champion and Lex's unofficial boyfriend. Sami smiled softly; feeling the emotions behind the song and his friend's raw rendition of it.
"Pick something pretty." Corey's eyes widened when Lex turned a scowl on him. "What? Everything you do is pretty – just try to sound like a girl for once. Ow!" He flinched when she punched him in the arm.
She ignored her ridiculous friends for a moment, swiveling on her stool before darting her eyes up to Tom. She made her decision and began to play without informing her companions of her choice, playing solo.
If I ever feel the light again
Shining down on me
I don't have to tell you
How welcome it would be
I felt the light before
But I let it slip away
An' I just keep on believing
That it'll come back someday
It's not the spotlight
It's not the candlelight
It's not the streetlights
Of some old street of dreams
It ain't the moonlight
Not even the sunlight
But I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean
Shaun and Corey crossed their arms over their acoustics, swiveling slightly in their seats while watching Lex.
Lex sang to Tom; staring at him unflinchingly, her blue eyes shimmering while trying to convey her feelings – her words - through music.
Sometimes I try to tell myself
The light was never real
Just a fantasy that used to be
The way I used to feel
But you and I know better
Even though it's been so long
Now if your memory really serves you well
You'll never tell me no wrong
It's not the spotlight
It's not the candlelight
It's not the streetlights
Of some old street of dreams
It ain't the moonlight
Not even the sunlight
But I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean
So if I ever feel the light again
Shining down on me
I won't have tell you
How welcome it would be
I felt the light before
But I let it slip away
And I just live for believing
That it'll come back someday
It's not the spotlight
It's not the candlelight
It's not the streetlights
Some old street of dreams
It ain't the moonlight
Not even the sunlight
But I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean
Yeah, I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean
She dabbed at her eyes with her forearm; pretending her tears was sweat from the overhead lights before lifting a hesitant gaze to Corey.
"Was that girly enough for you?"
"I think it was for Tom. He's almost melted out of his seat after that." Corey pointed to the big man; who instantly wilted under everyone's gaze.
"He's blushing! It's cute!" Matt Bloom's laughter boomed from a few tables down, pointing at Baron with a grin. "I never thought I'd see the day!"
Paul tried to intervene on Baron's behalf but it only seemed to egg on his co-workers.
"Shut it!" Dan shouted from behind Lex's empty seat at the table, making everyone jump.
"Thanks, man." Baron grinned up at him.
"You're welcome, buddy."
"At least ya know where ya stand now, fella. The lass definitely cares bout ya." Finn leaned across Lex's seat, whispering to Baron over the applause.
The big man just smiled; his brown eyes riveted to his lady.
"Your choice now, luv. Pick something that'll work those vocal chords and push your diaphragm so you can keep up with your brother." Shaun bumped his knee against hers while swiveling on his stool.
"Turning to Stone by Godsmack." She glanced up at him; getting his hesitant approval before doing the same with Corey.
Again, she started the song's intro notes on her guitar; keeping her focus on the strings until the lyrics began, and then kept her attention just above the heads of her clients.
(Lex) Leave me bleeding
(Lex) Leave me dying on my own
(Lex) Leave me wanting
(Lex) Burned your way into my soul
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) I don't like it
(Lex) I can't live without a trace
(Lex) I can't hide it
(Lex) I can't take away its face
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) And I don't know my name
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) And I've turned against my own
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) I don't know who to blame
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) And I'm turning into stone
(Lex) You can't hear me
(Lex) You can't see me in your space
(Lex) You don't believe in me
(Lex) Even when you kneel and pray
Her gaze snapped to Tom's soulful brown eyes in an instant and remained there for the rest of the song.
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) Since I've found you,
(Lex) I've been wanting you so bad
(Lex) I'm all around you
(Lex) Waiting to take those things I never had
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) And I don't know my name
(Lex) I've turned against my own, yeah
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) I don't know who to blame
(Lex) And I'm turning into stone, turning to stone, yeah
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) Oh and I don't know my name
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) And I've turned against my own, uh yeah
(Lex, Corey and Shaun) I don't know who to blame
(Lex) And I'm turning into stone
"She died." Baron said softly; heard only by Paul, Sami and a surprised Finn. "That's what happened that left her saddened by music and stuck her with nightmares and a panic disorder. She died working a show, didn't she?" He darted his gaze between his boss and her friend, needing confirmation.
Paul picked up his drink and kept his eyes focused on the amber liquid while it passed his lips. Sami picked up his beer, nodded his head once and turned back towards the stage when the three singers began Outside by Staind.
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The music was heard from the street and the bar began to pick up business quick; getting even more crowded once the people there called their friends. The lead singers from Seether and Stone Sour had the place packed within an hour.
Dan and the rest of the security team didn't need to be told a word. They lined up between their clients and the crowd; not letting a soul passed them, not even for an autograph.
The trio played The Gift and Remedy from Seether; the former really bringing the pain out of Lex and Shaun as they traded off on the lyrics. The cheers and applause were much louder now, and Baron could sense the shift in Lex immediately. She was anxious again. Separation from her clients and feeling claustrophobic from the extra bodies in the bar was getting to her.
The three of them sat back from their mics, talking among themselves before Corey and Lex packed up their guitars. He took a small bow when he stepped off stage, carrying his and Lex's cases, and took his seat at their table.
Lex sat on the edge of her seat, pulling the mic closer and gave Shaun a nod. He began the intro to Staind's Something to Remind You, only lifting his eyes when she started to sing.
So this is it
I say goodbye
To this chapter of my ever-changing life
And there's mistakes
The path was long
And I'm sure I'll answer for them when I'm gone
So when the day comes in
The sun won't touch my face
Tell the one who cared enough
That I finally left this place
That's been so cold
Look at my face
All the stories it will tell I can't erase
The road is long
Just one more song
A little something to remind you when I'm gone
When I'm gone
The road to hell
Along the way
Is paved with good intentions so they say
And some believe
That no good deed
Goes unpunished in the end or so it seems
So when the day comes
And the sun won't touch my face
Tell the ones who cared enough
That I've finally left this place
That's been so cold
Look at my face
All the stories it will tell I can't erase
The road is long
Just one more song
A little something to remind you when I'm gone
When I'm gone
So this is it
I say goodbye
To this chapter of my ever-changing life
And there's mistakes
The path was long
And I'm sure I'll answer for them when I'm gone
When I'm gone
Shaun and Baron instantly left their seats at the same time; knowing that song took the very last she had to give. Shaun reached her first; of course, holding her up against his chest, and leant forward to the mic.
"G'night and thank you." He nodded to the crowd; handing Lex over to Baron before he packed his guitar and followed them back to their table. "Dan, it's time to go. You and Mark escort Paul to the bar to close out the tab." He turned his gaze to Paul. "If the others want to stay, they'll have David and Jimmy to watch over them but they'll have to find another way home. She won't leave you unguarded and Dan is our driver."
"The party's over, kids. Finish your drinks because we're leaving when I get back." Paul directed the rest of his people before walking off through the crowd with his escorts.
0-0-0-0-0-0
"So I can count on you taking half the roster on your plane?" Paul asked when the bus pulled up to Lex's house.
"Yes, you can. I'll take half and you take the other half but my half will need another way home since Baron, Finn and Shaun are coming with me to Hell in a Cell. Dan will be leaving for LA right after he drops you off at your hotel so that he can pick us, Rollins and Reigns up, and take us to the hotel."
"And you already have the rest of the new crew waiting on us in Sacramento?" He smirked when she nodded her head. "That's my girl. I had a great time tonight. Thank you." He pulled her into a hug; his eyes flashing in humor when Baron bristled behind her.
"You're welcome. Night, boss." She pulled back, took Tom's hand and let him lead her off the bus. "See you soon, Dan. Be careful."
"I will be, boss lady. Good night, you two." He winked at the couple and left once the door was secured.
"Well they didn't wait to say goodbye or good night." Baron pulled a face when he noticed that Shaun and Corey went straight inside.
"Yeah, they have grown up enough to realize they need to make use of a real bed when they have one before the traveling begins. Oh they party but when it comes down to it they know this life has made them old men in young men's bodies." Lex laughed softly; locking the door behind them before he took her hand and led her upstairs.
"Does that mean I'll be an old man in a young man's body before long?"
"Oh no, Sas. You'll be an old man in an old man's body. All that shit you'll put yourself through will take a toll, sweetheart." She squealed with high-pitched laughter when he picked her up over his shoulder and swatted her behind, carrying her off into their bedroom.
"You've got a hell of a mouth on you, munchkin." He power-bombed her off of his shoulder on to the bed; instantly covering her body with his, and leaned down to kiss her parted lips. "I guess we should get ready for bed then, huh?" He grinned before giving her another quick kiss and left her to grab some shorts from his bag to change into in the bathroom.
When he returned a few minutes later, he drew up short of the bed, taking in her tank-clad body and swallowed a groan before joining her. He took his customary spot in the center, opening his arms to let her roll on top of him and snuggle into his chest.
They were quiet for what felt like forever; to the point that Tom thought Lex had fallen asleep until she broke the silence with a whisper.
"You know now, don't you?"
"Yeah." He replied softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not yet."
"I'm here when you're ready." He whispered against the top of her head, kissing her hair and enfolding her within his arms.
The following songs were used in this chapter:
Through the Glass (Acoustic) by Stone Sour (uploaded by WAAF 97.7 on YouTube)
Pass Slowly – Acoustic Studio Version by Seether (uploaded by Andrew Rimell on YouTube)
It's Not the Spotlight by Beth Orton
Turning to Stone (acoustic) – from The Walking Dead Soundtrack by Godsmack (uploaded by Godsmack on YouTube)
Something to Remind You (Live) by Staind (uploaded by StaindVEVO on YouTube)
The Gift and Remedy by Seether were referenced and the best versions to listen to in regards to this fic are the ones from One Cold Night on YouTube.
