A/N: So...I have to be honest. I sort of borrowed something for this story from Sharingan-Fer-Sure...I hope you don't mind, hun! XD


One-Shot #77
Seme or Uke?
(or: "Sasuke's Bad Day")

It wasn't every day that Sasuke was having an off day. Just a day where nothing went right. A day where, just by walking past it, he could knock a lamp over, shattering it on the hard floor. It was an off day, and Sasuke wasn't liking it.

He growled to himself as he cleaned up his mess, silently thanking whatever entity was listening that Naruto wasn't home to see it. He'd never live it down.

Just as he threw the shattered remains of the lamp, in all its hideous glory (it was Naruto's favorite, after all), his hyperactive boyfriend bounded through the door, sending the door handle bouncing off the wall. Sasuke shot him a glare, but Naruto either ignored him or didn't catch it. Neither would have surprised Sasuke.

"Hey 'suke!" Naruto called out, stomping through the hallway until he stopped in front of his boyfriend. "Do you know what those assholes out there are saying about us?"

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at Naruto's obvious irritation. "That we're gay?"

"No…well, yeah, but that's not the only thing!" Naruto's hands were flailing around as he spoke, a sure sign of his irritation.

"Surprise me."

Naruto's cheeks blushed slightly before talking again. "They…well, they're saying you're the dominant one. That I'm this innocent little submissive! If they knew half the stuff I can make you do, they wouldn't be thinking I'm so damn innocent!"

Sasuke slapped himself in the forehead. The day went from bad to worse.

"Like last week, when me and you were on that tree branch…" Sasuke stopped Naruto mid-sentence by slamming his other hand over the blonde's mouth.

"Don't."

Naruto mumbled something, but Sasuke was still trying to fight off a blush. Why would those so-called friends be discussing their sex life?

"Naruto, why are you letting them get to you? They don't know what we do, and they never will. So just ignore them."

Naruto mumbled something sounding like "but Sasuke!"

"What do you want to do, Naruto? Let them watch you dominate me into the mattress?" When Naruto just arched his eyebrow, Sasuke glared intently. "It was meant as a joke. We're not letting them watch, dobe."

Naruto pulled Sasuke's hand from his mouth before speaking. "I was thinking…maybe if we taped it…"

"Hell no!"

"But…but…Sakura-chan said she'd…"

"Hell no!" Sasuke said, more sternly. "What is wrong with you?"

Naruto huffed. "I don't want them thinking I take it all the time. I want to give it, too."

Sasuke just stared. This was going from worse to horrific in a matter of seconds. It had to be a huge joke. The powers that be playing a practical joke on him. This could not be happening.

"Honestly, Naruto. They're just trying to make you mad. And you're letting them. Just ignore them and they'll stop."

"But, what if it doesn't work, 'suke?" Naruto pleaded.

"Then we'll worry about it later, okay?" He brushed a lock of blonde hair from Naruto's eyes before placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

The blonde sighed heavily. "Fine."

Sasuke watched his boyfriend walk toward the shower, stripping as he went, before plopping on the over-stuffed couch. He just wished the horrible day was over already, or he wished for a run-in with Kiba (who he was sure initiated the whole conversation) if only to set he record straight, so to speak.

Leaning his head back, he prepared himself for the migraine he was sure their conversation would cause…and, of course, reminded himself to search the bedroom for the next few weeks. He was sure his clever blonde dobe would attempt to hide a video camera in there somewhere. And Naruto could be clever when he wanted to be.


Heh-heh...so, what'd ya think? Not my best, but I thought it had its charms.