A/N: God, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry 'bout that. But, I come bearing a present, of sorts. I promised some of you a follow-up on this one-shot and I have delivered. Merry Christmas! lol


One-Shot #82
Therapy II

The therapist looked up as her assistant led the two boys through the door. The assistant smiled curtly at them before leaving, keeping the therapist cooped up in the room with these two again.

Granted, it was only their second session, but the doctor didn't feel like she was getting very far. She noted that they were, at the very least, speaking to each other. And they seemed civil. Maybe this session wouldn't be a migraine waiting to happen.

The boys took their seats and waited, quite patiently, for their session to start. When the doctor just stared at them, not really saying much, Naruto cleared his throat.

"Um…Doc, are we gonna start?"

"Idiot, be quiet. She'll start when she's ready." Sasuke berated him, causing the blonde to grind his teeth in irritation.

"I was asking a simple question, asshole." Naruto gritted out, crossing his arms over his chest.

…Apparently, she was wrong.

"Boys, please don't argue. It's not going to help us out at all." She mentally noted to prescribe herself a nerve pill just to deal with these sessions.

They settled down, if only slightly and still bristling each other, allowing the doctor to relax slightly. She made some notes on her paper.

"Okay boys. During our last session, I assigned you two some homework. How did that date go?"

She watched as a plethora of emotions crossed both boys' faces. This might actually be interesting.

"Did you two have a date at all? A real date?" She arched an eyebrow at Naruto, who glanced in her direction.

"Um…yeah…I guess…" Naruto mumbled.

"Where'd you two go?"

"To see a movie." Sasuke offered, his voice low.

"Good. What movie did you two see?"

Naruto smiled slightly. "Kung Fu Panda."

The doctor arched her eyebrow and made a note on her paper. "Okay. Did you enjoy the movie?"

Sasuke snorted and Naruto shot him a glare. "The movie was great, Sasuke was an asshole."

"I didn't want to see some damn cartoon, Naruto. I wanted to see a real movie. An action movie. And you have to be a child about everything."

"I'm not being a child. Animation is quality entertainment." Naruto said, crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out at Sasuke – entirely proving Sasuke's previous statement.

"But you allowed him to see it, Sasuke. Why is that?"

"Because he pouted and took a fit like a three-year-old girl." Sasuke answered the doctor.

"No, Sasuke." She said, cutting off Naruto's rebuttal. "You compromised to make him happy. That was very adult of you. Maybe next time Naruto can compromise and allow you to see a movie you want to see."

"Fat chance of that happening." Sasuke snorted.

"I do not want to see some boring-ass movie about old people. Sasuke's so boring!"

"What are you talking about, loser?" Sasuke asked, whipping his head around to look at Naruto. "I wanted to see Wanted, which had no old people in it. It had Angelina Jolie in it!"

"You pointed at that movie with the guy from The Shining." Naruto said, sitting up.

"The Bucket List?"

"Yeah, that one!"

"No, retard. The Wanted poster was next to it. You're an idiot."

"God, Sasuke, I hate you!" Naruto growled, looking toward the other wall. The doctor sighed in frustration.

"Boys!" She said, a little louder than she meant to. "Let's focus." When both boys settle down in their seats, looking slightly wounded from her yelling at them, she continued. "I think I have figured out the next thing you two need to work on. Communication."

"What?" Sasuke asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Communication," Naruto began, "is when two people talk to each other."

"I know what communication is, moron." Sasuke glared, smacking Naruto on the back of the head.

"Well obviously not if you asked what it was!" Naruto growled, holding his head protectively.

"Violence is not the answer, Sasuke!" She yelled. "If you want your relationship to work, you need to start listening to each other instead of just hitting each other. Understand? Communication is the key. Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask the other what they meant. And then the other person needs to calmly answer him."

"So you think we just aren't understanding each other?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes."

Naruto shrugged. "Makes sense. Sometimes asshole says words that aren't even in the dictionary."

"Like you've ever read a dictionary, idiot."

"I have! Bastard!"

"And," she interrupted, "name calling isn't helping you two at all. Choose pet names for each other instead of insults."

"Pet names?" Naruto snickered. "You want me to call him 'pookie'? C'mon, lady, we're gay but we're not that gay."

There was a pause in the room before both boys started laughing. The therapist sighed and ran her hands through her hair. These two were nerve-racking.

"Okay, then. Settle down." She waited for them to stop laughing before continuing. "Your homework for next week, boys, is to come up with one pet name. Not 'pookie', but something that describes the other, but is not hurtful in any way. Understand? Just a word that reminds you of the other. And try to have another date, that does not end with sex, without arguing. Not too hard, right?"

Both boys groaned.

"Okay, see you two next week."

She shoved the two out the door and fell back into her seat, sighing. These two were going to be the death of her, she was sure. There was silence for a few seconds until she heard giggling from the hallway. Looking up, Naruto was doubled over in laughter as Sasuke berated him for something. Maneuvering toward the door, she opened it a crack to hear their conversation.

"You're not calling me that, moron." Sasuke growled.

"C'mon, 'suke, it kinda fits you."

"Blow me, Whiskers." Sasuke said, smirking.

"Whiskers?" Naruto asked, putting his hands up to cover the marks on his cheeks. "Not funny, asshole."

Sasuke continued smirking as he pulled Naruto's hands away. "Don't hide them, Naruto. I think they're kind of sexy."

The elevator doors opened and Sasuke pulled Naruto in with him. The smile on the blondes face was enough for the therapist to know that, just maybe, she wasn't seeing the whole picture. They seemed to have a pretty good relationship all without her help. Maybe she was only seeing the bad side.

"I told you not to call me 'Uke 'suke', you moron! Get off of me!" Sasuke yelled, followed by Naruto giggling.

Out of pure frustration, the therapist allowed herself to fall into the closest seat, in a fit of giggles. Those two were going to be the death of her, she was sure. But the insults they came up with were funny as hell. Maybe treating them wouldn't be so bad after all.


Oh, what will next session bring? Maybe, eventually, we'll find out. lol. Btw, I know that Wanted, The Bucket List, and Kung Fu Panda were not playing at the same time. Just pretend with me, okay? I can't keep movie release dates straight in my head. Besides, this is AU, deal with it. K? XD

...ain't 'Uke 'suke' such a cute name for Sasuke? lol