Epilogue.

Gravestones were strangely unique to Earth. Few other species buried their dead and marked their place; most burned the bodies and scattered the ashes to the winds and seas. Intended as a poignant memorial to lost loved ones, instead they littered the planet as stark reminders of death, come for everyone but him, taunting him with the names of all those he'd lost over the years.

Jack hated graveyards. Bare rocks standing upon dirt, empty platitudes carved in stone, dead flowers scattering the landscape: it felt meaningless and desperate. At first, he'd visited frequently to remember those he'd lost; as the years ticked by and everyone died but him, he began to avoid them more and more. He felt nothing but pain and anger as he stood before the names of past friends and lovers. Most had died and left him too soon; others he'd had years with. Yet all had gone now, every last one, and only he remained, alone for eternity.

Standing before this particular stone hurt more than most. This man had been special, though their time had been short and contentious, fraught with obstacles and issues that always kept them from truly realizing what they had until it was too late. Until Jack was holding his lover in his arms as he died and only confessing his love to a ghost months later. It was one of his biggest regrets of a long life full of them. Not that he'd loved Ianto Jones, but that he'd never told him.

Glancing around, Jack sighed, his heart heavy and sad. Wales was so different, he recognized it less and less each time he returned. Climate change was wreaking havoc on the entire planet; it was a wonder that the graveyard was still there, and not destroyed by development or rising waters. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Jack looked down at the headstone before him and felt his heart break all over again.

Ianto Jones.
1983-2009

He did not cry, however. He was not there to mourn; he'd done that years ago, and for decades after. No, he was there to say goodbye. To leave behind all the lives he'd led on Earth once and for all and take his place among the stars, never to return. He couldn't do it anymore. Every time he came back he was reminded of what he'd lost. He knew he should be glad for all he'd experienced and gained, for the lovers he kept in his heart, but it was too much. No man had lived as long as he had and lost so much. He was too tired, mind, body, and soul, and he couldn't do this anymore—living but never dying. Not on Earth.

Pulling his leather duster close around him to shut out the chill of the cool spring morning, Jack began to speak.

"I lost the coat," he said. "Last year. I know you loved the coat, but honestly, it was okay. I probably should have set it aside years ago. If I want another one, I know where to go. Or when. Besides, this one is much more fashionable where I'll be going."

A soft wind blew through the trees, rustling the branches as if asking a silent question. "Where am I going? Well, I'm leaving. Again, only this time I'm not coming back." A nearby bird let out a lonely cry, and Jack laughed bitterly at the sound. "No, not that—not death. No, I'm leaving Earth, once and for all. I've got my own ship now, and I'm heading toward the other side of the known universe. Lots to see and do. Think I'll be there for a long time. She's a beauty—sleek, supple, hyperdrive that goes on for miles."

A squirrel chittered nearby, as if laughing. "Yes, my ship is damn sexy. I wish you could see her. I think the spacefaring life would fit you. So that's my plan, and I came to say goodbye one last time."

Jack crouched low, running his fingers over the letters carved in stone, smiling as he remembered the man long buried beneath them. "I've been here so many times over the years. You may not be much of a talker, but you're a good listener. Thank you for that. But I can't keep coming back, putting myself through the loss of everything I loved here over and over. It's too hard. I have to put it behind me, start over."

He hung his head, his voice falling to a whisper. "I thought about Retconning myself, but I don't know what that much Retcon would do to even me. Besides, I have so many good memories of this planet…this place…you."

The sun broke through the clouds then, its pale rays dotting the otherwise gray and barren graveyard. Jack felt the warmth on his face and smiled. He sat down, pulled his knees to his chest, and closed his eyes. "We didn't have much time together," he said, "and so much of it was hard. God, we were so stupid sometimes! So stubborn, so proud! I'd like to think I learned something, that I learned to be more open, more willing to love. I don't know if I did. I know I've still hurt people in my time. I know I hurt you."

The wind seemed to caress his cheek, touching his hair in forgiveness. "And I will always regret that," Jack murmured. "Knowing how many times I hurt you because I was too scared to do anything else but hold you at arm's length. I never wanted to hurt you, I wanted to protect you. You were too good for me, you know. Too good for me, and for Torchwood. You deserved so much more."

Jack sat silently for a long moment. "I wish we could have had more time, that I could have tried to be everything you deserved. I think it would have been amazing. But I can't keep thinking about what could have been, and every time I come back here, that's all I think about. It's time I left Earth behind for good. Or at least for a few millennia." He laughed silently through his nose, the cool breeze sighing with him.

"So this is me, saying goodbye. I'll always remember you. You may not believe that, but I will. In a thousand years' time, I will remember you, Ianto Jones. Your face, your smile, your wit, your brilliance, your empathy, your suits, your coffee—all of it. Everything you did for me, everything you meant to me. I will remember."

Jack stood up, took a battered old RAF hat from where it perched upon his head, clashing with his coat. It was ancient now, faded and tattered. He ran his fingers across the patent leather and along the wool, caressing it one last time. "I don't need this to remember, though. I'm leaving it for you, so I can move on. I know you liked it almost as much as the coat. It was such a part of my life here, and with you, that I think it's holding me back. I have to let it go."

He bent down and set it before the grave, settling it into the grass, covering it with a small pile of leaves to protect it for a few days at least from scavengers and thieves, though he doubted many came to the graveyard anymore.

It was hard, standing up and leaving the hat at his feet. A part of him felt like it would be all right, because he was leaving it with Ianto, but at the same time, the hat meant more to him than just about anything else he owned. It was like leaving behind a piece of himself, a core part of his identity. Yet he had to move on, he knew that; so he forced himself to step backward once, then twice, and again until he felt the impulse to reach down and take it back begin to release its hold on him.

"I loved you, Ianto Jones, " Jack said softly, letting his eyes slip closed. "Good-bye."

He turned and began to walk away, though his steps faltered the farther he walked. His legs felt like lead, and his heart started to pound. He couldn't do it, he couldn't leave the hat behind. It was his only remaining connection to Ianto, to his long life on Earth. The wind blew his coat open and he shivered; he took another step, and it increased. He felt like it was pushing him back, silently urging him to turn around and give in to the instinct to pick up the cap. He gave in.

Turning back toward the gravestone, Jack watched as the wind tumbled the hat away from its resting place before the marble. He took a step to run after it, his hand outstretched, but realized it must be the universe's way of telling him what to do: walk away. Leave it behind. He turned and let his head fall, refusing to cry. It was only a hat, and he was leaving anyway.

No, he couldn't leave it behind. It was more than a hat. It was a concrete memory of his life, of his time with Ianto, one that he could hold in his hand, not just his heart. Here it would fade into dust and dirt alongside the grey stones of the graveyard, but with him, it could live on, reminding him of years that were good, nights that were even better. He needed the hat, and those memories, more than anything. He'd been a fool to think he could give it up. A raucous bird crowed at him from a tree, as if shouting at him to do something, to go after it.

Whirling around again once more, Jack stopped in his tracks when he saw a man next to the gravestone, standing straight and tall and silent. He was wearing a black three-piece suit under a grey peacoat, gazing at the hat in his hands with a small smile on his face. And when he glanced up, Jack's heart exploded within his chest.

"You shouldn't leave this lying about, sir," said Ianto, brushing some dirt from the hat. "It is an antique, after all."

"Ianto?" Jack asked, staring at the man before him in shock. Was it real? Or was he imagining it? Did it matter? He stepped forward cautiously, not wanting to ruin the vision he'd longed for more than anything. "Ianto Jones?"

"Welcome back, sir," Ianto murmured. "To Earth, that is."

"Don't call me that," Jack replied. "Please, not now."

Ianto raised an eyebrow as the wind ruffled his hair. "I thought you rather liked it."

"I did," Jack said. "But not now…what's happening? Are you really here?"

"Standing at my own grave?" Ianto glanced down, then shrugged. "Stranger things have happened, though not many."

"How?" Jack tried not to let himself hope, but he couldn't help it. He'd never believed in miracles before, but maybe he would now, if the universe was not playing tricks on him.

"Does it really matter how, Jack?" Ianto asked. "I assure you it's nothing lurid, no deals with the devil or anything like that."

"But…why?" Jack asked. "Why now? It's been so long," he whispered

Ianto took a tentative step forward. He gazed down at the hat, then caught Jack's eyes with an unsure, almost nervous look on his face. "You should keep this," he said. "You are a captain, after all, and I heard you might need a new crew."

"Crew?" Jack had rarely been at such a loss for words, but his heart was about to beat out of his chest and his tongue felt tied up in knots.

"I believe her name is Myfanwy," Ianto replied, then smirked. "Did you name her after the dinosaur, I wonder, or the old song?" The squirrel nearby chittered again; Jack was certain it was laughing now.

"Both," Jack murmured. "But mostly I named her for you."

Ianto sighed. "Jack, I've been gone for years. Years upon years. I'm flattered, but why not something else, like the Boeshane Babe or something?"

"You didn't think I'd remember you, but I do. All the time," Jack replied. "And I don't want to forget once I leave."

Ianto was silent as he walked up to Jack and held out the hat. "Then take me with you."

"What?"

"Take me with you. You said the spacefaring life would suit me. I want to see this amazing hyperdrive." He rolled his eyes. "Assuming we're actually talking about hyperdrives."

"You're serious," Jack whispered. "You're really here, and you want to go with me."

Ianto glanced around as he tucked his hands into his pockets and nodded, clearly nervous. Around them, the wind stilled, the grey clouds looming overhead, as if in silent expectation. "That would be about right, yes."

"Why?"

"I told you once, a long time ago. Because I love you. And I know you loved me. I only hope you might find it within you to do so again."

Jack was stunned by the vulnerability and courage of the man before him. He was putting it all on the line; for all Ianto knew, Jack could have a harem of husbands and wives on board his ship, waiting for him to return to bed. He didn't, of course he didn't, but Ianto didn't know that, if this was actually Ianto and not some figment of Jack's imagination taunting him with hope.

"I never stopped loving you," he said, his voice breaking. He took a breath and reached out for the hat. "Welcome aboard."

Ianto stepped close enough to place the cap on Jack's head, gazing into Jack's eyes with a small smile until he took Jack's face in his hands and kissed him, passionately and hard. Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto, pulling him close as he felt the emptiness within him filled, the loneliness pushed away. And he felt other things, of course, mostly in his trousers, but that could wait until later. Right now he wasn't alone anymore, and he was determined to reacquaint himself with snogging Ianto Jones senseless.

When they finally moved apart to catch their breath, Jack rested his forehead against Ianto's, letting his shaking hands roam across the Welshman's shoulders, along his jaw. Above them, the sun broke through the clouds once more, bathing them in its subtle warmth. "I can't believe you're here," Jack whispered again. "With me."

"And ready to explore the universe," Ianto replied, his voice catching as well. "By your side."

Jack reached down and took his hand. "And I will show you the universe," he replied. "By your side."

Ianto rolled his eyes at their sentimental turn toward complete schmaltz, but followed him from the graveyard, holding tight to Jack's hand. Jack laughed out loud as they walked, his heart ready to burst with joy. He'd come to say goodbye, to leave his life on Earth behind and turn once more toward the stars. Instead he was leaving with the one man he'd wanted more than any other. He'd seen so much over the years, from time travel to resurrection gloves to nanogenes, but Jack had never imagined it possible, that he would see Ianto Jones again.

It was as if the universe finally saw fit to let him experience a happy ending for once in his long life. Jack was determined to do it right this time, and to make it last for as long as he could. A new life together, among the stars, with Ianto.

And once again, it all began with the hat.


Author's Note:
The End!
Many thanks to Avaantares, whose initial fanart of a scene by Peter Anghelides in "Another Life" inspired this entire story. And who helped me hammer out the epilogue, because we all need a little bit of hope in our lives, that Jack and Ianto had their happily ever after. I hope you enjoyed this story even through any tears. Thank you for reading – let a girl know what you thought, yeah? It helps keep the muse alive and inspiring!