Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback! It is a great thing and I really appreciate it. Please let me know what you think of this one, I need to know if I am moving in the right direction.
I think that so far this is my favorite chapter of this story.
I don't own our friends on Serenity, just having some fun.
Firefly Fanfiction
By: Redelflady
Chapter 7
Jayne walked outside, wandering around the grounds in the dim light of the moon. His hand ached and so did his heart. He would never admit this to anyone, no one would ever be permitted see him that weak. He turned when he heard footsteps behind him.
"Go away!" he snarled.
"Why?" River asked. "I can't see why? Hurt someone who loved you so much?"
She bent down and picked an Astrid and put it in his hand.
He studied the flower, "Hard to 'splain. I forgot a lot of it, not sure why, but I did."
"You were disappointed in yourself. That you left her, left everyone."
"Maybe. I don't know." He threw up his hand in frustration the Astrid falling to the ground.
"Do you not see that you are all around her?" River gracefully jumped up on the stone bench. She opened her arms wide. "Look around you ape man. What do you see?"
"Dark. It's night goofy." He frowned at her. He was not really in the mood for this.
She pointed to the flowers, "What do you see there?"
"Look, I'm tired."
"LOOK JAYNE!" She screamed, making him take a step back. "WHAT DO YOU SEE?"
"Flowers……Astrids." His voice faltered at his pet name for her.
"And what do you see there?" she pointed in another direction.
"Garden."
"What's in the garden?"
"Vegetables." What he used to sell in the market where they first met.
"What do you see there?" she pointed in another direction.
"The Temple."
"What decoration is on the Temple?"
"Waves of different……metal." Like the ring he promised to marry her with.
River jumped down from the bench and walked closer to him.
"In all these years, you were always in her mind, even when she didn't know it." She touched his chest cautiously. "Always in her heart. She never forgot you. Don't know why though." River danced away, "I would have just found you and killed you."
"Can't wait till you start dating……" Jayne muttered.
"You will see her in the morning then. Talk and you want to see if she still loves you. Why?" River squatted under a tree and tilted her head to the side looking at the moon.
"I….No!" Jayne snarled. "Get out of my head!"
River stood up and did a cartwheel. "She….." she stopped and her face became pale. "She's in pain, a lot of pain. Head hurting. Crying. Bleeding." River sprinted to the temple, Jayne followed trying to keep up. River ran through the sitting area and threw open the door to her private quarters. Benu sat up at the very unusual intrusion, "River, it's late." He mumbled. "She's in pain, much pain!!" River ran to Esmel and turned on the light. The Priestess was so pale, a look of unfathomable pain on her face, sweating, her nose bleeding. Her breaths were short and shallow.
Benu grabbed her hand, "Esmel. Wake up." She didn't stir.
River gently took her injured wrist and touched her skin trying to take away what was hurting her. River's head snapped up at the flood of pain that shot through her. She bared her teeth in agony. "Jayne." She hissed. "Help me please, help her." She held out her other shaking hand, she could barely take this feeling of hurt. Jayne eyed her suspiciously, but stepped closer and offered his hand. He looked at Esmel as River grasped his hand, he took a sharp breath. The overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over him, ache and pain, tears and loss. He could feel this illness that was killing her, felt it in his brain, felt it all over him, how could she survive feeling all of this? He felt the tide lessen as he saw Benu place his hand on her head and try to take some of the pain from her as well. Jayne found he could actually see in her memory; see the things that she had seen. He saw himself as a young man in love with his Astrid. He saw them walking in the woods at night, holding hands. He saw her heart break when she heard he had left. He felt her terror and shame when her father attacked her. Her first meeting with Benu, how she had blushed under his stare. The first time he kissed her and how her heart fluttered.
The Priestess stirred, her eyes opened and her breathing evened out to a normal rate. River gingerly laid her injured arm back across her body. She looked at Jayne and released his hand. "Thank you." She said quietly. Jayne nodded, staring at the Esmel laying in the big bed, blood running down her face. River walked to the bathroom and brought back a wet rag. Benu took it from her with a nod, "Thank you both. I did not hear her in my sleep. I usually can feel it when she is in pain." He frowned as he cleaned her face.
"I didn't want you to." Esmel whispered.
His hand stopped his gentle dabbing, "Why my love?"
"I am tired of this hurt, it is constant now. It is an effort just to move, I thought if I laid here long enough……" She closed her eyes as a tear ran down her face.
River reached out and stroked her face, "You want peace. To be without the pain. Forever."
"No. Esmel no….." Benu kissed her forehead, "You can't leave yet. I'm not ready for you to go next week. You can't ever do this again, if you are in pain you must let me know."
"I can't keep asking you and River to give me energy and take away my pain. That's not fair to either of you."
"I will call the Doctor and we will give you some pain medication. So that you can be comfortable." Benu finished wiping her face.
"Call now please. I feel the pain is coming back." She winced.
Benu got up and walked to the living area leaving River and Jayne with her. Esmel looked at Jayne so sadly, "Thank you."
"I….. I'm sorry for what I did to you Astrid. I know that ain't gonna make it right, but I shouldn't have left you." He still had her emotions in his head and the feeling of sadness was not going away anytime soon.
River took Jayne by the hand and pulled him closer to Esmel. She again became a conduit to take away the pain and again Jayne could see her memories and feel her illness. This time he was more prepared he tried to will the illness away, but the pain endured.
Benu walked back in the room, "The Doctor will be here shortly. You two should go, he is Alliance, and we don't need any entanglements right now."
Jayne nodded and pulled River back away from Esmel. "Come on. You can come back later." She reluctantly let go of the Priestess. "It's alright River. Thank you for your help." She nodded at Jayne. He smiled back at her, pulling River out of the room. "Come on, you need to get back to your room before the Alliance comes knockin'." River half heartedly tried to pull away, but let him drag her to her room. He knocked on the door until Simon answered, half asleep. "Here." He pushed River into him. "Alliance doctor is coming, keep her under wraps."
He then woke Mal to make sure he was aware of how close they were to danger.
Jayne then went to his room. Once inside he leaned heavily against the closed door and shut his eyes. He took a deep breath and sighed, these feelings they were so alien to him. He had shut out so many things that very day he left, he had learned to push the emotions away, if he hadn't he would have given the money back and stayed. He frowned as his hand started throbbing, keeping pace with his heartbeat.
He walked over to the bed and collapsed on his back, uninjured hand thrown over his head. He had felt a lot of pain in his day, been shot, stabbed, beat up and knocked out. But never had he felt such pain as he did coming from Esmel. Such mental and physical anguish, how could she bear all of that and still manage to live? He thought about what River had said, how there were reminders of him everywhere, reminders that she might not have even realized. He fell into a deep sleep lying there and slept dreamless through the night.
The older Doctor was very sympathetic to the Priestess, he was a parishioner at the Temple. They were all aware of her aliment and of her impending death. He started an IV in her hand and bandaged her injured wrist in a fashion he felt was more appropriate. "You should have called me when she hurt her wrist." He clucked at Benu.
"I….asked him not to. It is nothing Abraham." She whispered.
"I didn't ask you to speak young lady. You rest and let us handle this." He patted her shoulder.
After a few minutes, he inserted a syringe in the IV line, injected and then flushed the line. He stepped back watching her face, the look of pain was shortly replaced with relief. The Doctor and Benu watched as she finally drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
He gave Benu instructions on some pain killers to give her. They discussed the upcoming week and as always the Doctor offered any assistance he could provide to Benu. His wife had died years ago and he well remembered the pain of that loss. As soon as the IV was done, he removed the needle and bandaged the spot.
"If you need me please don't hesitate to call. The only reason I am not here more is her request to handle this without my help."
Benu nodded, "She is very determined our Priestess."
He showed the doctor out and then returned to her bedroom. He pulled a chair up close to her side of the bed and just watched her sleep. There would not be many more chances to watch her do anything. He eventually fell asleep in the chair, watching his beloved finally sleeping in peace.
He woke to the warm feeling of hands on his face. Benu opened his eyes to see Esmel sitting up and smiling at him her hands touching his cheeks. "Good morning my sweet." She whispered.
"You look wonderful." He whispered kissing her hands.
"I feel much better. Thank you." She stood up carefully, smiling even more when she didn't feel lightheaded. He stood up and followed her to the living area where breakfast was being served. The crew greeted her as she entered, she bowed to them.
"I see you are feeling better this morning Priestess." Simon approached her. "Are you on some prescription medications?"
She nodded, "I have to thank your sister and Jayne for helping me last night. The pain was….overwhelming."
Mal looked at Zoe and back at the Priestess. "Jayne helped you?" he asked curiously.
Jayne looked up from his food, "Only cause the crazy girl went ruttin' wild. Didn't know what she was doin'. Somebody had to keep an eye on her while he was sleepin'." Jayne pointed his fork at Simon. Jayne eyed Esmel out of the corner of his eyes, she did look better, actually healthy. He grunted and continued eating.
River was unusually quiet at breakfast, Esmel was concerned that the previous night's events had been too much for her. As the room cleared and the crew headed out for their chores, she called to River in her mind, "Are you alright young one?"
River shook her head, "Talk, I need to…..we need to talk. Alone, please."
"Come with me to the temple."
"No." River interrupted, "Let's walk outside. Nice air, open." She looked up at Esmel.
"Alright River."
"Simon, River and I would like to chat. We will be outside."
River walked ahead of Esmel, her head down. When they were outside the temple, River turned to her, "I need to tell you something. All floating in my head, it hurts." River absently rubbed her forehead. "The…..monastery. After you were hurt, not a monastery. Alliance…..Academy, like the one…..I was in."
River squatted down and sighed. Picking up a leaf and throwing it up, watching the wind make it float. She looked back up at Esmel. "Do you remember? Not Nuns. Not Brothers. Doctors."
Esmel shook her head, something was there, but what? She reached out her mind to see what was on the very edge of her mind. Her eyes went wide, she looked down at River, "Two by two….."
"Hands of blue." River whispered.
