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Firefly Fanfiction
By: Redelflady
Chapter 8
Esmel was in shock. "You saw them? Tell me what else, help me remember. Please."
River shook her head and stood up, "You will scream, cry and be….angry. So much to…So much for us to remember." she sighed. She knew that this was to be, she had seen it, but she was afraid. "See water?" River pointed to the pond beyond the temple.
Esmel nodded, "Yes, why?"
"Go there, sit down, we will remember together." River spun around and stopped at the sight of a bird. "He will lead us to the spot."
Esmel knew she needed her help to remember and was somewhat at the young girl's mercy. She walked behind as River followed the brightly colored bird to a rose bush near the pond. There they sat under a large shade tree, facing each other, legs crossed, knees almost touching. A cool breeze fluttered in the leaves of the old tree.
"You sure you want to know?" River tilted her head and stared at the Priestess. "It won't be ….. long now. Do you need to know?"
"Yes, I need to know. Help me remember River." She pleaded.
River offered her both hands and Esmel took hold, careful of her bandaged wrist.
Jayne had watched them walk out to the pond, he wasn't sure what was going on, but he was sure someone needed to keep an eye on them. Benu was performing the service in the temple, everyone else was working somewhere on the grounds. He followed at a distance, trying to keep them in sight while staying out of their sight. He saw them sit under the big tree and hold hands. He sighed, what new chaos was this gonna cause?
He walked a little closer and stood behind a bush, close enough to hear them. He could hear Wash and Zoe laughing in the barn nearby. Kaylee talking to children out playing in the field. Mal commenting on Shepherd's stories as they worked in the garden. Lots of ambient noises but his attention was focused on the two before him, holding hands.
River and Esmel started the communication slowly, River wanted to make sure that she didn't hurt her. "We have to …to see that….morning." River said cautiously with her mind. "I know, I'm ready." Esmel responded. They both relived the experience of Esmel's father attacking her, River could feel her tense. They both tried to push through the darkness of her passing out. There were traces of conversation, "…killed her!"
"Shut up. Call…" Like pieces of a dream just bits of words were floating in her mind. "Doctor….fix…" she could now identify the voices, it was her Mother. "Not supposed to happen." Now her Father, "Keep her…. will sign … form. Don't care…. what you do with her." Now a voice she thought was one of the Nuns at the monastery, "The process could kill her." And her Father again, "We don't care." Esmel's eyes closed tighter. River could feel her hurt, she squeezed her hands a little tighter.
The voices and images started to flow a little faster, the Brother was most certainly a Doctor. "But how…" Esmel wondered. River answered, "They planted false memories. Two by two….."
"Hands of blue." Esmel finished.
Esmel saw River leaving home for the Academy, sad to be leaving, happy for a new experience. Simon watching her leave, uncertain how she will fair without him. Their memories real and fake started to intertwine, melding together. It was hard to tell where River started and Esmel ended.
The experiments started and so did the pain. Esmel winced as needles were injected. River gasped at the feel of intrusion. Fluids injected in her arms, some in her brain. The flow of information was faster now, like watching a movie. Men with blue gloves flashed in and out of the pictures. They were testing her ability to read when she hurt a nurse, the force of her mind causing the woman to faint. Esmel was given a shot in the jugular to make her stop. But she couldn't stop, they had given her so many drugs. Someone finally hit her from behind. Now she saw River sitting in a chair tied down, IV running in her hand. "No." River thought, "Not that." She tried to stop the images but they were coming even faster. Their hands were getting warm from the flow of energy between them. Both of them were breathing faster. Esmel saw another Doctor inject her with something that made her scream, it burned as it ran through her body. River moaned as she saw someone put something in an IV and she began to squirm, it made every inch of her cold. Their memories and thoughts were blending, integrating. Conversations from each of them were bleeding together. "You be a good girl….." "This won't hurt for long…." "You are amazingly limber…" "She has cancer now." Sarah reached for this conversation, she wanted to hear it, learn more. "The combination of drugs has now given her cancer." Said the 'Nun'. "We have permission to do what we want until we don't need her anymore." Replied the 'Brother'. River helped her with viewing what happened. The Doctors discussed her fate as if she were some pet past her prime. "We could dispose of her now. She will be of no use to us sick." "Turn her loose, let her live out what time she has, we have kept her for 7 years." "What if she remembers? What if her parents find out?" Esmel felt the woman gently stroke her face, "We will give her implanted memories. It is the least she deserves. We have limited her life, let her have some free will." The male Doctor shook his head, "You always did get attached. We can tell the parents she passed away. After all they did sign the release."
River saw pictures flashed in front of her eyes, pictures of people, places, memories of those around her, conversations, "She is so powerful. Watch out." Test and more tests and needles. Painful shocks and aches. "I hope she doesn't get sick from this." "Doesn't matter by then she will have performed…." Both of them were breathing faster, each living through each others thoughts and visions, their hands were sweating now as the flow of energy was stronger. River started to feel something new flow from Esmel, betrayal, it was a soul rending pain. River gasped at her feelings, abandonment, sorrow and……..anger.
Jayne was close now, watching them communicate without speaking, he was mesmerized.
There seemed to be a humming sound around them, like electricity. Butterflies that were around earlier had left, the breeze in the tree had stopped. He didn't like the look on either of their faces, both of them seemed to be in pain. Jayne debated getting Benu, but then he would have to admit he had followed them. He might just wait and see what happened.
River tried to stop, but the more anger Esmel had, the more she seemed to magnify it back, each unable to stop reflecting the emotions of the other. "River." Esmel managed to get through the wall of energy, "Stop, I…." She could feel the anger starting to overtake her. "I can't." River shouted back, making Esmel flinch. The hum around them got louder, the old tree started to vibrate. Jayne couldn't watch this anymore, both of them were in pain, the air around them felt alive. He walked over to them, "Hey, you two get up." He demanded.
There was no response, except for the low humming. Jayne could feel the hairs on his arms start to stand up. "HEY!" he yelled, "Stop it!" Again there was no response.
He looked around, there was no one else nearby. He growled and reached down putting a hand on each of their shoulders. Neither acknowledged him or moved. He tried to tug them apart, but they were like statues, not moving. They both had tears running down their faces. Jayne scowled and walked behind River, knelt down and slipped his arms around her waist. He swiftly picked her up and away, breaking their connection. River slumped in his arms.
He glanced over at Esmel, she tilted her head back, panting as more tears escaped her now opened eyes. Jayne took a step back with River, gently laying her on the ground. He stood up and saw Esmel take a deep breath and scream. It was a sound like he had never heard, the sound of a soul so injured that it was decaying right in front of him. The scream continued far past what he though she could breathe. He had to make this sound stop, it hurt not just his ears but his insides, his very being ached.
He approached Esmel and grimaced as the sound continued. He leaned down and touched her shoulder. She suddenly stopped and jerked away from him, falling over. She was crying so hard she couldn't catch her breath. She lay there gasping, thinking that she would die at any minute. She would welcome that sweet relief from this misery, but it was not to be, the torment did not diminish.
"Astrid." Jayne knelt down, "Give me your hand." He reached out. She shook her head unable to speak, throat raw, breaths still jagged. He frowned and grabbed her hand as she was shaking trying to tell him no.
As soon as he touched her skin, Jayne's head snapped up and all of what she had seen and felt flowed through him. His grip was so tight on her hand she couldn't pull away. She tried to shut down her mind so the tide of information would stop, but she was far too weak.
Jayne felt every pain, emotion and thought that she and River had managed to stir up. He felt like he was watching a movie, except he could actually feel what was happening.
The pain was worse than before, this was much more emotional and he was not used to that. His eyes finally opened when River pried his fingers from Esmel's hand. When the connection was broken, Jayne collapsed with a grunt.
"I did this to you." Jayne said staring at the Priestess still on the ground, breathing easier but still unable to speak.
Esmle turned to look at him; her eyes were so dull, almost lifeless. She nodded ever so slightly and turned away. She shakily stood up and braced herself on the tree, glancing at some of the temple workers headed their way. Her scream had attracted the attention of many.
She turned and started walking towards the woods behind the pond, taking off her ceremonial robes.
"Esmel!" River called, "Don't go. Come back. Benu is on his way."
She shook her head and disappeared in the woods behind the pond, her under gown dragging the ground behind her. Jayne tried to get up but found that he was dizzy. "You should rest." River whispered as she helped him stand. Benu and Simon along with several of the Fledglings approached.
"Where is she? What happened?" Benu demanded as he looked frantically around for Esmel.
"River, what happened?" Simon held her hands. "We…..were remembering. We couldn't let go Simon." River's eyes were starting to tear. "They gave her this…this sickness. Simon, she is sick because of the Alliance. She …. She was in an academy too. Just like me!"
"Are you sure?" Simon wiped her face very gently, trying not to let River feel how panicked he was at this news.
"Yes! They…..put needles in our brain!"
Benu turned to her. "They did what?"
"Her parents gave her away… to the Alliance. They didn't want her anymore. They did….awful things. Gave her the gift and the sickness. Then turned her lose like a rabid dog."
River was wringing her hands, "Hurts." She said pitifully.
"I can't see where she is." Benu said staring at the woods.
She tilted her head for a moment. "No. She is…..she won't let us find her. She will come back when she is ready. But….."
River took two steps towards the woods and stopped. "What is it?" Simon whispered.
"Her heart….it…. it's not beating right. I…." River put a hand to her chest. "It hurts, her throat hurts, mind and soul."
She turned to Jayne, "You did this." She said with no emotion at all.
"I ruttin' know that. Don't you think I know that now?" Jayne yelled.
River grasped her chest again, "Her heart…..her heart is shattered." She looked at Benu, "Now her being is broken. Jayne you need to find her."
He turned to her, "I can't….. she don't wanna see me."
"You can track her, Benu can't….. Go get her monkey man!" River was starting to get irritated.
"I'll go with you." Benu told Jayne, "Simon take River back to the Temple and look after, her. Please let everyone know things are alright and we will back with the Priestess shortly."
"No Benu, she doesn't want to see you now. Just Jayne." River smiled sadly at him. "She…loves you so much, but their business is unfinished."
Benu shook his head, "I don't like it."
Jayne growled, "I don't neither, but I…….she and I need to talk. I'll bring her right back as soon as I find her."
