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Firefly Fanfiction
By: Redelflady
Chapter 9
Benu and the rest of the gathered group headed back to the Temple. Jayne shook his head and started tracking Esmel. He could see where her gown had bent blades of grass, but soon he was in the forest and there was no grass only leaves. He was beginning to get irritated when he just stopped and listened to the sounds around him. Birds were singing, the wind was rustling through the tree tops, crickets were chirping and he could almost hear…..the sound of crying. He tried hard to focus on that one sound and after a few minutes headed in the direction that he thought it originated from.
As the forest grew somewhat darker, he saw a form laying on the ground. He stopped and sighed, she was covered in leaves and dirt, her nose was bleeding and gown was ripped.
"Astrid." Jayne said with such concern.
"Go away." She managed to croak, her throat damaged from earlier.
"Benu is worried about you, lots of 'em are worried." He walked slowly over to her.
She groaned and rubbed her forehead, "Just go." She whispered, still crying.
"I'm not leavin' without you Astrid." He stood over her hands on his hips.
"Don't call me that." She tried to sit up, but failed in her effort. He reached down and she slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me."
He knelt down next to her, "You need help. Let me help you back to the temple."
"I wouldn't need help Jayne, if it weren't for you." She was so angry and she needed him to feel that anger. "If you hadn't left me, can you imagine what our lives would have been like?"
He shook his head, "No. Never thought about it." He lied. "No point in thinkin' about what ain't to be Esmel. I can tell you I'm sorry till I can't talk no more, but it ain't gonna change nothin'. What's done is done."
"You killed me." She groaned, "You killed me just as if you put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. But if you hadn't taken that course of action, I wouldn't be here. I really should have died back then, after the attack." She squinted against the pain starting in her head again.
"Don't say that! You….you helped lots of folks. You gotta man there in the Temple waitin' for you. He loves you. And here you are wasting time that you could be spendin' with him." Jayne reached over and helped her sit up, He would never show it, but her words cut him to his soul and she was much too exhausted to read him.
She looked at him, their faces only inches apart, "Tell me Jayne," She whispered, "Was there a time you ever loved me? Really?"
He reached out and brushed a leaf from her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes. I did. But when your Pa offered me all that money to leave, I couldn't say no. It was more money than I could have ever earned working in the market. More than I could have ever earned on that rock doin' anything. It gave me access to the whole 'verse. So I took the money and just left. He said he would tell you, but I never thought…… he would do that." Jayne traced the scar with his finger. He pulled out his shirt and wiped her face off. "Even with dirt on ya, you're still beautiful."
"This was a mistake." She whispered, "I should have never asked River to help me remember, it was a silly, human thing to do. There was no point in it, now I've…." She rubbed her forehead again, "I've changed the course of things."
He grabbed her shoulders and stood her up with him, she was surprised when he hugged her. "I could take the rest of my gorram life to tell you I'm sorry and it wouldn't be enough. I am sorry for what happened to you because of me."
She laid her head on his chest, "Learn from all of this Jayne please. Learn that your actions have consequences, everything you do affects someone, somehow. Apparently that's something that I am still learning."
He picked her up in his arms and started retracing his steps back out of the forest.
"I have to live Esmel, I do what I have to so that I can survive." He shifted her in his arms, "I don't always do nice things but I gotta live."
"Jayne, killing someone over a woman is not necessary." She frowned at him.
"Says you." He grunted.
She sighed, "I have made a mess of things in my weakness." She rubbed her hand over her face and sighed, looking at the fresh blood on her hand. "I'm bleeding again."
"There's a rag in my back pocket, ain't too dirty." He stopped for a moment to get his bearings.
"I can walk you know." She pulled the rag out of his pocket and pinched her nose with it.
"If I let you walk you're gonna fall down and get even more dirty and whatever. You ain't that heavy." He started walking again finally seeing the edge of the pond ahead.
She rested her head on his shoulder, "I'm tired." She mumbled.
"Runnin' around in the woods like a crazy woman will do that." He snorted.
"Jayne, promise me something please." Her voice was getting weaker.
"What? Nothin' stupid though."
"Take care of River, as long…….as you…….can."
He glanced down at her as her head slumped over, her hand falling in her lap.
He stopped, "Esmel?" There was no response.
He shook her gently, "Esmel." He said louder.
"Gorram it." He started jogging out of the woods. As soon as he rounded the pond he saw Benu running towards them.
When they met, Benu took her from Jayne. "Thank you for bringing her back. I have called for the Doctor, please help keep River under control."
Jayne nodded and ran behind him into the Temple. Mal and the rest of the crew were heading up to their rooms. River stopped and looked at him, "Better?" she asked.
"Better about what?" he growled as he walked by her.
She walked faster trying to keep up with him, "You and she talked. Are you better?'
"Just peachy." He snapped as he walked in his room and slammed the door.
Benu laid Esmel on the bed brushing her hair out of her face. He looked up as the Doctor walked in, "She's in a lot of pain again."
The Doctor looked at Benu, "What happened? She is filthy."
"She decided to wander in the forest today and got lost."
The Priestess was injected with a painkiller and soon she was sleeping peacefully.
"Benu, you must take better care of her. Don't let her go anywhere without someone close." The doctor scolded him.
"I will make sure she is always accompanied." Benu nodded.
"I have heard there were strangers staying in the temple. Is this the best time for guests?"
"I said the same thing, but when the priestess insists. They are friends of hers from years ago. Here to say their goodbyes."
"If you need me again, please let me know." The Doctor patted him on the shoulder.
"I will. Thank you again for coming."
Once they were alone, Benu laid on the bed next to her, just staring. She looked peaceful, dirty but peaceful. A few hours later he woke to find her staring at him. He smiled and touched her face. "I really, really need to bathe Benu."
"Yes my love, you really, really do."
They both laughed. He helped her up and into the shower.
Jayne showered, enjoying the feel of warm water running down his body. He was not accustomed to such a luxury. He pulled on clean shorts and was just about to fall asleep, still pondering the events of the day, when he heard his door open. He grasped the gun lying next to him on the bed.
Laying perfectly still he was tensed like a spring ready to jump.
"I know you're awake." River whispered.
"What do you want River?" he snapped.
"I can't read her. The weaker she gets the harder it is." River stood over by the window in the streaming moons light, staring at him. "What did she say?"
"Just that she had changed things, by doin' what she did, havin' you help her remember."
River sat down in a chair and looked out the window.
"Do you mind, I'm tryin' to sleep?" he pulled his blanket up and glared at her.
"I saw so many things today." She rubbed her forehead, "People… we are so contradictory. So confusing. Things have changed, Benu can see it. But….I think all things will be as they are supposed to be." She sighed.
"Will Esmel still die?" his words hung in the silent room.
"Yes. Sooner than expected." River nodded and quietly left the room.
