So, this is the third chapter of the story that was formerly known as "Shards of a Dreaming Mirror." It is the final chapter of Shards that is in a sequential order. Anything more in this story is going to be a random one-shot-ish thing from when the bunny was zombie-ish, but not dead.

Disclaimer: I believe I have told you people that I don't own Harry Potter, and don't think that I have anything more to disclaim.


The next morning the Sixth-Year Gryffindors were awakened by an annoyingly cheerful teenager bouncing on Harry's bed at four in the morning.

"WAKE UP!" Karen screamed in Harry's ear. Harry woke up grudgingly.

"Christ, Wulf. Always up with the sun, and sometimes before, ain't you?" Harry grumbled groping around for his glasses. He was, unfortunately, not the only one woken up by Karen.

"Wuzzit?" Ron mumbled.

"Where's the fire?" Neville asked blinking tiredly.

"Shut Myrtle up, I don't care if you have to kiss the ghost, just shut her up." Dean was not known for early-morning tact. And by early I mean 4:00 AM.

"Where'd you learn that?" Seamus purred, still asleep amazingly. Horny little Irishman ain't he?

"You know Wulf, you need to work on waking people up. Like maybe, holding it down to one person. I don't want the sixth years succeeding where Voldemort failed because you wanted to spar at four in the morning." Harry whispered.

"But Baer, I wanna spar with someone decent!" Karen whined.

"Fine. But you get to explain to the asses why they got woken up so early."

"Okay!" Karen chirped.

~0o0o0~

At seven, Harry stumbled into his dorm and over to the shower, looking more beat up than even Voldemort could get him. Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus stared after him in astonishment.

"Damnit." Harry muttered to himself. "I shouldn't have agreed to a full-out spar after not having practiced in years. Even fully trained and practiced she still whooped my ass. What the hell was I expecting, not practiced and half-asleep? Well, I got my reward. A full and thorough butt-kicking."

Ron actually managed to say something after that tirade-at-self. "Mate, you mean to tell me that the new kid, a girl, beat you more than even Voldemort himself can?"

"Well, yeah." Harry replied as the other boys were shocked about his easy attitude at this. "I mean, even when we were only eleven, she still whooped me. Just, next time, remind me to stretch."

"Errrrrr."

"Okay then. Now, let's get to breakfast. Three hours of having your arse handed to you on a platter, with lemon and garlic, will make you hungry." Harry suffered a mood-swing. As he was dragging the others down the stairs he stopped suddenly.

"Oh crap." he stated, getting the other four slightly scared. "Wulf said something about Rex and Jalis. Oh shit. This is not good. Most definitely not good." Harry began to pace, ignoring the fact that he was on the stairs. "I hope I was wrong, but, knowing Wulf, no way." By this point, the others were slightly scared. "Ah well. If she did she did. I'll just be on damage control. And owl protector." Harry's mood swung a complete 180. With this he skipped off to the Great hall, meeting Karen, her teacher, Jalis, a bear, and his own teacher, Rex, a wolf.

"Ah there you are. Well, shall we?" Harry said, offering up his arm to Karen, not fazed in the least about the presence of a man-sized grey wolf and a grizzly bear in the corridors of Hogwarts, even though he could hear the portraits whispering to each other.

"We shall," Karen responded, curtsying, taking Harry's arm and giggling a little at the thought of what breakfast would be like. With that, the two of them walked into the Great Hall, engendering many shrieks of terror.

The students of Hogwarts got the shock of their lives when the Chosen One walked in with the odd new student holding onto his arm. Not to mention the friggin' huge wolf and bear that followed them. Many students shrieked, fainted, passed out and one student tried to run out of the Hall. Harry and Karen ignored the chaos and went to sit at the Gryffindor table with their friends.

"Well now," Karen grinned, "This is much better than I would have expected. With all the insanity here, I would've expected no one to notice Rex and Jalis."

Just because we are no longer your teachers doesn't mean we can't punish you. Rex growled at her.

Karen just laughed. "True, true. I was making a comment on this incredibly imbecilic world Baer and I got ourselves mixed up in."

At this point, luck decided that more chaos was needed as the students were calming down and just looking nervously at the animals and the girl talking to them. So, of course, this was when the mail owls came in.

There was a mighty whooshing of wings and hundreds of owls came swooping in. Rex jumped up and tried to catch one. Harry whacked him on the nose and started yelling, taking a Mrs. Weasley stance. Ron shuddered.

"No Rex! You don't eat the owls!"

But they look delicious! Rex whined.

"I don't care if they are toasted and served with apples! YOU DON"T EAT PEOPLES PETS!"

What about the cat lady's cats?

"Those are different. They are scary and annoying."

Worse than Voldemort you two are.

"What did you say?" Harry hissed.

You two are worse than Flight-from-death. Her about beating people up and you in hypocrisy.

"Take that back."

No, it's true. You are telling me I can't eat owls but I can eat cats. Hypocrite!

"Take that back."

No.

Harry's patience snapped. He lunged at Rex and the original screaming redoubled. Rex and Harry ended up in a tussle on the ground. Karen sighed and stood up, hands on her hips.

"All right you two." Karen stated, "That's enough now." Rex and Harry ignored her.

"I really didn't want to do this just yet." Karen sighed before continuing. "ALL RIGHT YOU TWO! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Rex and Harry were still ignoring her. It was time for drastic measures. Karen grabbed each by their ear and pulled, HARD.

"Now you two will listen to me. You will not ignore me. You will do as I say. You will not fight in the Great Hall. Or else."

"Or else what?" Harry managed through the pain in his ear.

Karen smirked and spoke. "Or else your heads will become reacquainted with the floor. Repeatedly. Very hard. Again. Now, I am going to let you go and you will sit down. Rex, you will eat as civilly as you can. Harry... don't, just... don't."

"Hey!" Harry cried, "I resemble that."

Karen had to laugh. "Yes, you do, but I think you meant resent, though you certainly do resemble it."

Harry pouted.

"You know," Karen changed the subject, "sometimes I absolutely cannot believe that you and Rex see each other as brothers. And others, the resemblance is absolutely uncanny."

Harry preened, "Yes, well, I am rather good-looking."

Karen laughed. "Well, I don't know about that. For all I know, you could be a mangy flea-ridden cur in desperate need of a trim. I was referring to how you two imbeciles act."

Perhaps we should not be talking so freely in front of the Fish?Jalis suggested.

Karen waved a hand. "Oh, pish. It's not like they are going to be able to figure out which is heads and which is tails in this tangled web we have weaved."

It's a bad idea. Jalis insisted.

Honestly, you are such a party-pooper! Rex whined.

"Hang on," Karen thought of something and she turned to Harry. "You know, if we are bringing out the children, should we get Moony and Rex's cubs out here too? How much do you want to bet the wimps will freak out about them coming in?"

Harry laughed. "Wulf, I don't think they could be any more shocked if the Bird of Sorrow came in here and chopped off my hand before announcing that he was my father. And wait, Rex got cubs? When'd that happen?"

Karen smiled, "Yeah you're right. Both about the Darth reference and about the shocked thing. It would be funny though if we did bring 'em in. Simply for the shock value. And when we were about thirteen."

"Oh. It'd be funny to watch Moony prance around the Hall though"

"Yeah, but still a bad idea."

"Why?"

Because the nonmagic stereotypes of most magic is correct, therefore we can assume that what is viewed as a unicorn is not willing to be among large numbers of people. Therefore, it would be assumed that you were extremely dark to enchant a unicorn. Jalis pointed out.

"But I am!" Harry whined. Karen raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fine," he amended. "I'm more of a ... gray. I am not a white, though."

You just keep telling yourself that. Rex growled smugly.

"That's it!" Harry cried, throwing himself at Rex. "You're going down!" And cue sweatdrops, screams and dust clouds as all conversation in the Hall ceased.

Karen sighed. Would the two never learn? When they fight, it meant pain for them both. Apparently not. Ah, well. Oh dear, they're getting close to one of the first years. That cute Aine kid. One of the few that was in perfect health at the moment.

"HARRY! REX!" Karen yelled. "This is your last warning before the pain comes!" And they ignored her. So, Karen reached out and grabbed their heads and slammed them into the ground. Hard. Like she had promised them.

Harry got up, the familiar feeling of a concussion ringing around his head. "God, Wulf, can't even go one day without giving me a concussion, can you." It wasn't a question.

Karen grinned unabashed, while the insignificant little children around them gasped, apparently in fear of their 'Saviour''s well-being.

"Now where would the fun be in that?" Karen asked wryly. Harry was about to respond when Dumbledore returned from the little trip into lalaland he had taken and decided to intervene.

"Enough!" Mr. White Bumblebee shouted. "Miss Johnson, Mister Potter, kindly cease causing such uproar in the middle of the Great Hall."

"But I don't wanna!" Karen whined, and so pretended to be dying a horrible, grisly death of maturity poisoning.

Rex snorted. You are so immature. I swear three-summer-olds act better.

Karen scowled, flicked Rex on the nose and got up from the floor she had fallen to while pretending to die dramatically.

"Wulf," Harry laughed. "You really shouldn't flick him for that. You know that we are roughly three-year-olds mentally. He was just saying the truth."

Karen turned on him. "Don't think I can't go after you too," she threatened.

"Miss Johnson, Mister Potter!" McGonagall barked. "Go to the headmaster's office!"

Hermione stood up. "I could take them Professor McGonagall. I could make sure they actually get there," she offered.

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Thank you for that offer Miss Granger. If you would be willing, kindly do so."

Hermione grabbed Harry by the arm and dragged him to the Headmaster's office, knowing from watching the interactions between Harry, Karen and the gigantic animals that if one went, the others would follow automatically. So, since Harry was the smallest and easiest to drag around, Hermione dragged Harry, letting the others follow.

~0o0o0~

As Headmaster Albus Dumbledore entered his office after breakfast, he was met with a rather odd sight. The gigantic wolf was growling at the grizzly, and both were being restrained by a human one-third their size. Miss Granger was trying to become one with the wall, muttering frantically 'It's-all-a-dream-It's-all-a-dream-They-can't-hurt-me-It's-all-a-dream'

Dumbledore paused, blinked, then twinkled and swept in anyway.

"Mister Potter, Miss Johnson. Please get rid of those animals so we can talk like civilized people." He, well, to be frank, commanded. Much to his shock, Harry and Karen refused to.

"Not a chance." Harry growled, bristling. "Wulf and I don't talk unless Rex and Jalis are here. They go, we go."

Dumbledore blinked again. He certainly hadn't been expecting that, not from his perfect weapon, who ignorantly believed that his well-being revolved around Albus' moods. If the Weapon wasn't necessary to keep Albus' fame and grandfatherly image intact, well, the Weapon would have learned of a different side to Albus Dumbledore a long time ago. But apparently the Weapon began to question. Well, we can't have that, now can we? So Albus let out a little Legilimency :coughimperiuscough: pulse that made the Weapon more prone to listening to his *suggestions* :coughorderscough: The Weapon slackened and relaxed and so, surprisingly, did the Nuisance and the Beasts. Hmmmm, was something going on here? Nah, he probably just made the pulse too strong and overloaded the Nuisance and the Beasts' brains. Yes, that's it, he had just overloaded the pulse, as could be understandable for one as powerful as he was. Now, for the clincher.

"Mister Potter, Miss Johnson, why don't you send those animals out of the school where they won't be harming any of the students. Miss Granger, you can go to your first lesson right now. I believe you have Transfiguration right now?"

"Yes Headmaster," the three humans droned while the animals nodded mechanically. It was quite funny.

Harry and Karen could barely keep their faces straight as they faked being under the spell Dumbledork tried to put on him. Stupid old fart, can't be bothered to remember that the Imperius doesn't work on me. Harry thought across the mental connection Karen had thought to cast between the four of them while Harry was being pulled by the ear to the Headmaster's office.

I know. It's like, those stupid yellow balls on the table are drugged with happy pills so that he notices nothing. Rex snickered. (Ooooooohhhh. Naughty naughty Headmaster. Drugging the balls you keep in a jar on your desk. You are a depraved person. Stay away from me.)

More like he just got stagnant in his belief in his own power. Karen sneered.

Very true. Jalis tried for a hint of solemnity, and failed utterly, bursting into bear-like guffaws as soon as he was away from the goat of ineptitude. Several students who had skipped breakfast screamed and ran in another direction, while the students who were at breakfast just stared before continuing on, muttering under their breath about 'idiot Chosen Ones with idiot friends who have insanely large, and just plain insane familiars.' The ones who skipped breakfast stared weirdly at the ones who had had breakfast, needless to say. It was a rather odd beginning to an utterly insane day.

Stupid old man. You know what we are going to do right?

Of course what do you take us for? Mice? We all know what we are going to do.

Just checking. 'Gana you don't have to take offense like that.

Sorry just a bit tense right now. New surroundings, new manipulative bastard to feel out, just the usual in a new place.

Of course.

If I may interrupt this delightful conversation, I have an idea for a prank. Baer, Wulf, pay attention to the coot. Jally & I will handle the prank. Compare notes later, 'Jay? (Like the Muggle 'Kay?')

'Jay. Later

And then BumbleBore was droning on and on, and hadn't even noticed that Karen and Harry weren't paying the least bit of attention to what he was saying.

"---And furthermore it is utterly irresponsible of you two to bring such large, vicious beasts into Hogwarts. Twice now the dog has attempted to kill you, Mister Potter. And Miss Johnson. You should not be encouraging the younger students to violence. That was extremely irresponsible of you both. Now, I do not wish to see a repeat of this morning's performance, is that clear?"

Harry and Karen both nodded while laughing madly in their minds at the jokes Fawkes was crooning at himself. Apparently poor Fawkes had been alone for a little too long. He was apparently crooning bawdy jokes involving basilisks, birds and laws of nature.

#What do you call the child of a basilisk and a phoenix? Breaking the laws of nature.#

#What do you call the phoenixes old lover? An old flame.#

Dear lord that bird was messed up. Apparently, according to his jokes, he had been doing the nasty with the basilisk's rotting cor-EEEW! Cutting that line of thought off now. Don't need to traumatize you people anymore than you already will be just from reading this story.

So, while the bird was seriously degrading the quality of Harry and Karen's mental processes, the bore was droning on and on and on about responsibility and fame. It was boring, and then they were freeeeeee!! Finally, they could run around and scream and act like human(-ish) beings rather than badly controlled puppets. Yay!

Jalis and Rex exchanged exasperated looks at the utter idiocy of the only humans ever to learn Animalis' secrets.

I love those two like they were my brother and sister, but damn they're idiots sometimes. Rex complained, listening to the two warriors celebrating their newfound freedom.

I know. Only, I have to deal with you and Moony as well. You aren't quite so bad. For their three-summer-old mentality, you are a four-summer-old. Jalis commiserated. (agreed with an air of suffering morons.)

Oi! I resent that! A new voice broke into their conversation.

Moony!? What the-How did you-This- Jalis stuttered in shock while Rex dealt with the new comer to the conversation.

What our large and rather dim friend is trying to find the words for is, Karen cast a spell to cause this thought-speak-convo. How did you break into it, Moony?

Well, isn't it obvious? Moony thaid (thought-said) I just harnessed the latent telepathic abilities of Karen and Harry, and told them to add me to the spell.


Yes, in case you were wondering, this chapter is only half-finished, but I absolutely cannot revive the bunny.

Anyone wanna adopt this piece of crap?