So...Word on my computer died, so I'm trying something different to update stuff, but I don't know how well it's going to work. So, if this ends up as not the sixth chapter of Dead Bunnies, please let me know.

Also, this is basically after Harry and Karen end up together, something that I did plan on, but was never able to write out, and they go on a date to Hogsmeade. There, Harry has got Remus to be there in order for the werewolf to meet Karen.

Disclaimer: It's the frickin' sixth chapter (I hope)! If you don't know that I don't own harry Potter by now, go soak your head in battery acid for the good of the human race!


Karen pulled Harry along the path to Hogsmeade. Rex, Jalis and Moony loped along with them. They were all planning on having the time of their lives, considering it was Harry and Karen's first date. Rex, Jalis and Moony were along as... supervision.

Hogsmeade came into sight. "Aw, crap." the five uttered as one. It looked like Hogsmeade was hosting a reporter convention.

"Eh, could be worse." Karen shrugged.

Moony looked at her oddly.

Karen, we have a unicorn, a wolf and a bear in our group. Not to mention the boy whose forehead the entire Wizarding World is indebted to. And his girlfriend. How exactly could it be worse? he whickered.

Karen shrugged. "Well, we could all be hairless and naked." Everyone blinked. Rex turned to Harry.

Dammit Har! I thought you were going to give her her meds today!

Karen pouted. "I'm not that bad." she insisted. Everyone just looked at her in that infuriating you-just-keep-telling-yourself-that way. 'Oh, fine. But still, I think it could be worse. We can just tell them to go and screw themselves."

Harry looked slightly shocked. "I never thought of that. Damn, you mean I've been dealing with idiots for years when I could've got rid of them like that."

Karen laughed. "Of course you couldn't. You've got the entire world indebted to your forehead and they ain't letting ya forget it. Nah, this needs a delicate female's touch. Oh, look, here come the vic- reporters now. Watch and learn, Baer-Baer." With that she turned away and looked towards the reporters, already hearing their clamoring questions.

"Mr. Potter, is it true you are turning dark?"

"Is it true you have corrupted a unicorn?"

At this, Moony snorted and rumbled, If I didn't know that Har's rep would be shot, I'd like to gore em, right here, right now! Implying a unicorn doesn't know exactly what he's getting into when he meets a person. The nerve!

Karen laid a hand on his horn. "Hush, Moony," she soothed absently. "they don't know what they are talking about. They think you are one of the un-evolved sheep-with-horns, not a true unicorn. Let me deal with this. I will put them in their places."

Now the reporters were within interview distance and were shouting out questions like there was no manana. Karen raised her voice and responded, loudly.

"My boyfriend and I have exactly five words for you all. Quote us on this. Go screw each other, bitches." With that, Karen grabbed Harry's hand and Jalis' scruff and dragged them away.

Halfway across town, in the Three Broomsticks, Karen let the others stop, finally.

Harry cracked a lopsided smile. "A delicate female touch, huh? You do realize that was like a sledgehammers delicacy, don't you?"

Karen pretended to be offended. "I'll have you know that a sledgehammer most definitely has way more delicacy than I do! I just chose the place of attack better than some fat guy wielding a sledgehammer! I, I will have you know, wield blunt force trauma to the ego like a surgeon's knife!"

Harry laughed. "Never change, my Wulfie, never change," he laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulders, not realizing what he had just said.

"Baer, do... d'you really mean that?" Karen asked softly.

"Mean what?" Harry asked, but then incomprehension faded into horrified disbelief. "Oh God. Wulfie, I'm sorry. I know how much you hate being called a possession. Oh Gana, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Karen giggled. "Anyone else would have lost an arm, but coming from you, it's…it's…right. Just right. I like it."

Awww. Moony cooed. Look at the lovebirds. Should we leave them be, or get to our appointment with the other Moony?

"Oh crap, I forgot!" Harry swore. "I just forgot the appointment. Let's go find him."

"Okay!"

~0o0o0~

"Mr. Moony!"

Remus Lupin turned at this odd form of address and nearly spewed firewhiskey out his nose. The boy saviour was standing there with a gorgeous girl Lupin didn't recognize, a grizzly bear, a gigantic wolf, and a friggin' unicorn. A unicorn, in a pub!

"W-w-w-what the Hell!?" Remus yelled.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Come on Mr. Moony. You know me. Or at least, the face that has been splattered with glory, dragged through the mud and then raised on a pedestal. I'm hurt that you don't remember me. Sent you a letter, requested a meeting, got your gay lover killed? Come on, man, keep up with the times! You need to-"

But whatever Remus Lupin needed to do was never found out as it was at hat point that the wolf growled, and Harry, his beloved, idiotic, and apparently insane surrogate godson, turned and started yelling at it.

"What the hell! How many times do I have to tell you? Neither Wulfie or I take any meds. Of course, no shrink has ever stayed sane to prescribe meds, but you can't prove anything! And you-" Harry snarled, rounding on the unicorn. "How could you let him say those things? You are supposed to be the mature one in our rather dysfunctional family! How could you?" With that, Harry burst into tears.

It was at this point Remus decided to intervene. people were looking at them strangely. "Harry," Remus asked gently, "Why are you yelling at the gigantic wolf in the pub?"

"I'll explain that," the girl said. "You see, Rex here didn't get enough sleep last night, so he decided to take his annoyance out on us. Unfortunately, Baer didn't either. All morning Rex has been going on about how we need meds. And yes, if you're wondering, they did have to come with us. Well, more like decided Baer and I couldn't be trusted alone with each other. Oh, I'll take care of Baer." With that she turned to Harry and forced him to look at her. "Baer-Baer, you are forgetting rule #6. Remember? Say it."

Harry repeated Rule #6, mildly disturbing Remus. "When someone beats you down, get up again and beat them down harder."

"That's right. Now what should you do?"

"Beat up Rex! Thanks Wulfie!" Harry chirped, diving at the wolf. Both swiftly disappeared in a cloud of dust that got kicked up. Remus looked at it in some concern.

"Erm, shouldn't we, uhhhh, make sure Harry isn't hurt?" Remus asked unsurely.

"'Course not."

Remus blinked. This was the girl Harry was dating? She wasn't even concerned with his safety! He puffed up, ready to start yelling at her, when he heard her continue. "If you tried to keep these two from each others throats, they'd both hate you. Their relationship is a mystery, even to me, Jalis and Moony. It's like, one moment, they're the best of friends, and the next, they are fighting, apparently trying to kill each other. They are best of friends and the worst of enemies at the same time. It really is quite odd. For a while the Hogwarts students tried to break them of the habit, but after about the sixth fight and the third day, they just kind of accepted the inevitable."

Remus choked. "You mean to tell me that this sort of thing happens twice a day?!" he asked incredulously.

Wulf shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah. Umm, people are staring. Let's go into the cold. Excuse me for a moment." Wulf walked over and into the dust ball from which sounds of ripping fabric, yelps and snarls were emerging. Two seconds later, Wulf emerged, tightly grabbing onto Harry and the wolf's ears.

"All right you two." Wulf said, not seeming at all alarmed by the fact that the entire pub was staring now. Remus, however, was openly gaping at the teen who was manhandling a wolf larger than her, utterly unchuffed by any of the strange things in the pub. "You will leave each other alone until we get outside and explain things to Mr. Moony. Or you will find out what happens when you tick a girl who ain't afraid to fight dirty. Do I make myself clear?" Wulf asked.

"Crystal," Harry whimpered. Wulf nodded.

"That's right." With that, the girl dragged Harry, Remus, the wolf, the bear and the unicorn out of the Three Broomsticks.

"All right," His surrogate godson said, having gotten himself free of the death grip on his ear. "ask your questions. And don't try any 'I don't have any' bullshit. I showed up in there with a wolf larger than yours, a grizzly bear and a true unicorn. Not to mention my best friend of sixteen years."

"Err, sixteen years? You are sixteen years old and you never met her while your parents were alive? I think you are confused." Remus asked.

Harry laughed. "You'd be surprised how many people make that mistake. I am, actually seventeen. I have known Karen since I was eighteen months old."

"Eh?"

"Really, really long story short, when we were ten, Karen and I went into the forest near the Dursleys' during one of her foster parents' month-long visits. That's where we met the idiot trio. Jalis, bear extraordinair." The bear nodded gravely. It could understand him? "Rex, wolf of blunder." The wolf Harry had fought growled, hackles raising. "And Moon's Rays, leader of the evolved deer." The unicorn dipped its horn gracefully before glaring at Harry. It snorted angrily. Harry laughed. "Oh, come on now. I didn't mean it and you know it, Moony." he smiled fondly. Remus blinked at the use of his nickname at a unicorn.

"Hey!" Remus yelled. "That's MY nickname!"

"Shut up, wolf-boy. I knew Moon's Rays about four years before I knew you." Remus shot a panicked look at Harry's girlfriend, thinking How could he? Now she's going to turn on me!

But Remus' fear were unfounded. Oh, Karen turned on someone alright, just not Remus.

"Harry," Karen cooed sweetly. "Do you mean to tell me that I have been talking to the werewolf you know for five minutes, and not knowing it?" Remus couldn't see why Harry had flinched so badly by the end of her sentence.

"Wait. You told her before about my furry problem?" Remus asked.

"Yes." Karen said, staring in a mildly predatory look at a nervous Harry. "Yes he did. Mostly because he knows how I feel about werewolves and wolves in general. I think that they are utterly, totally and completely awesome and nothing anyone says can change my mind. In fact, until Bear and I were ten, I wanted to be a werewolf. I have no prejudices against a werewolf. In fact, for some strange reason, a werewolf tried to attack Hogwarts during the full moon last month. I created a spell to force werewolves to stay in one shape. He is now staying as a wolf in my trunk. I feed him once a day. He is shrunk. He's a nice snuggly, now that I have removed his teeth and neutered him."

Remus jerked one hand up and one hand down, ensuring that she had not done anything to him before something else she had said sunk in. "You-you created the cure to lycanthropy?" He asked weakly.

"Cure or curse." Karen responded cheerfully. "I can make somone permanently human, whatever-the-human-magis-call-alternate-forms or wereform."

"Whatever-the-human-magis-call-alternate-forms?" Remus asked.

Harry threw Karen an exasperated look as he translated. "Animagus forms."

"Ahhh." Remus said in understanding, before something occurred to him. "If you knew about them from wizards you'd know what they were called. So, where did you learn about Animagi?"

"Crap." Harry hissed even as Karen began her explanation.

"The Forest called us to it as we had great destinies. In the Forest we met our teachers and learned magic. But not the pale shadow the wand-users employ. We learned true magic. Magic of such force that even a simple tickling charm could make you lose your mind if you aren't careful."

Remus swallowed. "All very interesting, but, what does it have to do with Animagus forms?"

"God, Wulf, tell him everything why doncha." Harry asked sarcastically.

"Fine, then, I will. Just don't be surprised if we have to break out of an insane asylum," Karen replied archly, pretending not to hear Harry's muttered "Or prison.' "Well, as you can tell we learned some stuff no human has ever learned. One of the many things we learned was how to harness our innermost souls, namely, our animals. it took a lot of meditation, but, eventually, we managed to get to the point where we turned into our forms. We're both wind wolves."

"Wind wolves?" Remus couldn't help asking.

Karen shrugged. "Winged wolves. Makes sense considering that we both need to move, to run, to be free."

Remus' jaw dropped. "Y-you mean to tell me that my godson and you both have magical Animagus form?" he managed weakly.

Karen frowned a moment before turning to Harry. "Baer," she whined, "Were you lying when you said your godfather was killed via drapery."

Remus winced. With Harry's tendency to blame himself, this could get ugly. Much to his shock, Harry just laughed. "Oh, I don't know that he's dead anymore."

"W-w-wh-what?" Remus stuttered.


Yeah, I am really messed up. Thank you for noticing.